M51 F39

Observations and ponderings

December 21 2019

So we have been around here a while and I was thinking about what the site provides us. The forums are interesting, often educational but too often nasty. The eye candy on profiles is quite stimulating but we have found that the more eye candy shots we put on our profile the more our message box gets full of unwanted attention and the more we miss the attention we are after. As far as actual meets, well we aren’t into the larger social meets or clubs and find we don’t find things often progress past moving to messaging on external apps. I’m sure this is in part to our location and availability or lack there of making logistics hard. The differences between being paid up vs guest doesn’t seem noticeable for us. What got me thinking though is that if I look back on our most amazing experiences, few they may be, they have all come from other avenues and mostly not directly related to swinging. So maybe we are not true blue swingers? I also see that only a very small portion of the membership is involved on the forums so what information that could be gleaned off here is likely not representative of the majority. I still like reading about others views and experiences though. - Posted from rhpmobile

Comments

RHP User

5 years ago

I dunno if I’d agree entirely SSE... I think that using places like this is just as much a subjective tool than anything.... For me when I was single, and I’m still like this for the most part, that I enjoy the social interactions with people so the meet and greets are for me but the singers activities not so.....But that is open to changing based upon our interactions with people.... Obviously I can’t speak for Ms Phoenix though.... I hope this helps ... Mr Dragon

reply

like
Sawadee

5 years ago

In a ideal world we could pick and choose who we want to view our profile, but no one here can afford that luxury . Taking the good with the bad is par for the course. 90% of those who view my profile are guys and I'm as straight as a dye.. If i could do something to stop that l would , but i cant 😞

reply

like
SSExplorer

5 years ago

Wow Sawadee, so guys just seem to look at any and every profile! I guess they may he checking you out ofter reading a forum post, like I just did?

reply

like
SSExplorer

5 years ago

Dragon, I agree the social interaction with open people is something I enjoy too. But Mrs S feels nervous and uneasy in big groups. We both really enjoy interacting 2 on 1 or 2. I guess if we were in a major city we could attend more social gatherings and become more at ease with them.

reply

like
RHP User

5 years ago

SSE... Without knowing exactly how she feels or how crippling it is for her, I hope my next sentiment helps... I’ve always attended meets on my own. There have been instances where I’ve walked up to the doors of the venue turned around and walked away, gone back to my hotel room and gave myself a good talking to. There’s even been the odd occasion where I’ve looked at the attending list on the event page and decided not to go.... I don’t know how to help reassure her for you or to really reassure you either as I know I’m a very hit and miss myself with these things... But I shared this with my daughter who collapsed on stage once from stage fright....no idea really if it helped her not but she is now more comfortable on stage than she is 1:1 with people ... “When you feel as though the whole world is staring you down, and you want to hide, don’t look upon their eyes as judgement...look upon their eyes as an invitation to see you do what only you can....” In her case it was sing... Mr dragon

reply

like
SpicyKale

5 years ago

SSE, that's interesting We've found that we probably get more attention from posting here than anything else. A lot from interstate and a lot that don't really read our profile. We've learnt to just take the attention as a compliment and not get too hung up on it. It has left us finding friends from all over, which isn't a bad thing. The Oscar Wild quote, "there is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that's not being talked about" rings true. If you don't have yourselves out there you might miss that one really interesting connection. It can be a draining process at times though! We're similar to you, time poor, kids and live a bit away from a major city. Not too far, but far enough to make spontaneous events a hard ask. As a result we might only meet a few people a year, but we've met a few gems amongst it all.. We'd still prefer to meet the occasional interesting couple than not though... I think you'll find you're still "true blue" swingers, you don't have to be out there every week to earn your swingers badge! Just the knowledge that you can if you want to helps at times😉

reply

like
SpicyKale

5 years ago

Oh, I should add... we're both introverts that struggle in big groups. It's a case of finding things that you're comfortable with. Smaller gatherings, maybe beach meets in summer, BBQ with a few locals. It might be a case of finding the right meet and greet. If you see any run by classyandfuncpl get along, they're great at making you feel welcome. I think they've got an Australia Day beach meet on, not sure if it's near you, have a look at the events nsw page. Good luck!

reply

like
RHP User

5 years ago

Spicy...assuming your location is accurate.. Lol do you really believe though you’re like “out in the sticks”?? I’m so tempted to now look at your profile as many times as I can just to be a dick 😂😂 Mr dragon

reply

like
SpicyKale

5 years ago

Mr Dragon you can visit as often as you like😉 Yep, we're further out... we'd be very identifiable if we used our town. That wasn't what we were saying at all, Newy is hardly the back blocks either. By the time we offload to sitters 70km away then get to town in the other direction.... maybe 2 hours, so spontaneous meets aren't a go!

reply

like
RHP User

5 years ago

I can appreciate that.....I was going to say I’d be jealous as I reckon Mt Barker would be in a reasonably ideal position with some fantastic scenery(from what I’ve seen amongst my travels on the south eastern) whilst being not too far away from the big smoke to not make it too cramped like I’d feel in a city environment...

reply

like
Sawadee

5 years ago

When push comes to shove ' l prefer smaller groups any day . And I say that after a occupation that involved public speaking . ,But away from the hype , give me smaller groups any day. Getting a feel for someone you may potentionly become intimate with is just as important to me as it is for them and I feel this is better done uncrowded..

reply

like
SSExplorer

5 years ago

Aww Mr Dragon, you often come off a bit hard but look at your soft and mushy insides there, it’s nice to know even the toughest among us can feel like running and hiding sometimes. This whole experience is quite a challenging thing but one that has helped us explore what we mean to each other. It’s also nice to be able to let our guard down with people and just experience them in the most intimate of ways. The avenues can be frustrating but the memories are over all very much with it :)

reply

like
SpicyKale

5 years ago

Mr Dragon, it's an awesome part of the world! As you said, not far from the city, but we still manage 80 000 km between us a year! You don't want to know what we paid for a 1870 stone cottage! If the eastern states people realised what the work life balance was like here they'd all be over. Sydney is our favourite place to visit, but no way we could live there. The biggest worry for us is bushfires, the bad one last week came within 4km of us before a wind change. My heart goes out to the 80 plus that lost houses😞 Someone I know through work lost his life trying to save his house, it's a sad time for many up here and in nsw

reply

like
RHP User

5 years ago

Apologies to SSE for the slight .... okay maybe a bit more than slight, but definitely unintended hijack... But I do like looking at old stuff like that....there’s a few stone walls between bacchus marsh and Anakie area too.... and I’m sure near Ms Phoenix’s area there are similar stone structures .... Mr Dragon

reply

like
RHP User

5 years ago

SSE... Quoting you “ Aww Mr Dragon, you often come off a bit hard but look at your soft and mushy insides there, it’s nice to know even the toughest among us can feel like running and hiding sometimes. This whole experience is quite a challenging thing but one that has helped us explore what we mean to each other. It’s also nice to be able to let our guard down with people and just experience them in the most intimate of ways. The avenues can be frustrating but the memories are over all very much with it :)” I so missed this post ... And I gotta say it’s such a lovely post....I enjoy reading posts about this stuff...totally relatable :) Merry Christmas Mr dragon

reply

like
SSExplorer

5 years ago

N worries about the hijacking...I love of stone cottages, can’t afford one where we live...let’s all move to S.A. :)

reply

like

Observations and ponderings

Comments

Tags

Boards

Forum help