M45
One liners
May 03 2016
Comments
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lily1970
9 years ago
A man asked me once did I have mirrors in my pants,when I asked why,he said "cause I sure can see myself in them"
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RHP User
9 years ago
ooh this will be fun. Hang on, just going to check my sent messages I'll be back
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RHP User
9 years ago
Hey take a whiff of this... does that smell like chloroform to you? Candy is dandy...to lick her is quicker!
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RHP User
9 years ago
I was chatting with a lady once swapping corny one liners and she got me with this one Is that a ladder in your stockings or a stairway to heaven I couldnt stop laughing she did also tell me the gentleman that used it made it to heaven lol
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'lily1970' A man asked me once did I have mirrors in my pants,when I asked why,he said "cause I sure can see myself in them" That's pretty damn good. Confident as fuck and gamer than me..
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RHP User
9 years ago
to do you.. there is little you can do wrong..A long time ago, in a mining town north of Kalgoorlie..I told a girl.."I would suck your shit to a point and stab myself to death with it.. just tell me when...."We did great that night...Another time.. Kalgoorlie herself.. I walked into a bar out in Boulder.. with my very long hair out free and held just with a leather headband.. As I walked past a group of people, a lady leant out and said..."LOVE your hair..."I winked at her..and replied.."Wait until you feel it on your belly"20 minutes later, she was on back of the old Harley and headed to mine with meThose were the days of unprotected sex.. raw, wet and prolonged..Teeth marks, hickies, clawed skin and scars.My ethos then was..."If we are not bleeding after sex, I haven't done my job properly"
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm the worst for creepy pick up lines. I sent a guy a message a few days ago actually, said 'Holy shit, if you ever want me to launch myself on you, let me know' Didn't expect to get a reply, I did ....................................more to come, watch this space
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RHP User
9 years ago
Another first message from me 'Hi, how are you.? Are you real?' I'm not kidding, I keep it brief, not always, but like to have fun and figure guys aren't too fussed on getting lost in too much text. Working pretty good actually
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RHP User
9 years ago
another first message from me 'Hey' He replied 'Hey yourself'
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RHP User
9 years ago
'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' someone might be familiar with this line from me
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Seachange
9 years ago
I can see you now practicing Lily's line in front of the mirror. Lol. Go for it 🐯 tiger!!! Report back to HQ on your success. As you were.....
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couplefairride
9 years ago
I think you are lacking in a vitamin. Vitamin me. At the gym. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Nitrox1
9 years ago
Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.
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Nitrox1
9 years ago
Of all your beautiful curves, your smile is my favourite. I went out with her for 5 years.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' I'm the worst for creepy pick up lines. I sent a guy a message a few days ago actually, said 'Holy shit, if you ever want me to launch myself on you, let me know' Your parents must have been terrorists...look at bombshell they made when they made you! Let's play ''postage stamp'', hot stuff? I'll lick you, stick you and send you on your way Smart blondes and aliens? Lots of talk about them but nobody has ever seen either!
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lily1970
9 years ago
Try it Koolgrey......you never know...whats the worst that can happen....
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Seachange
9 years ago
Quoting 'lily1970' Try it Koolgrey......you never know...whats the worst that can happen.... Don't worry, Lily. . Koolgrey will be reporting to the two Lilies at HQ.
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RHP User
9 years ago
...that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
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RHP User
9 years ago
...how much did it cost you?
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RHP User
9 years ago
You do realise that Ken did not possess a penis ? 😈Q
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RHP User
9 years ago
No, you've just shattered every fantasy I ever had about Ken
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RHP User
9 years ago
They were a perfect match... Barbie was a permanent plastic virgin.
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RHP User
9 years ago
May I buy you a drink? No.? .So I suppose a fuck is out of the question.😈 Q
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RHP User
9 years ago
I was like 16 not everyone had the Internet at home think it was only just coming into schools , well we had the net at home so one day beeing a teenager looking for pick up lines I came across a site ( before the days of web addresses printed at the bottom of paper and URLs where easy to save) It was G-lovers greatest pick up lines that had over300 pick up lines lucky I printed it out there and then as I could never find the site after that day. I still have the copy's of these pick up lines ! ( mind you some are so stupid and dumb , but others are really funny and good )
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RHP User
9 years ago
If anything this will open their legs... 99.8% Everclear works magic or will melt the plastic! Fucking is never out of the question as long as you have proof of consent! I disavow all future actions under the affluence of incohol.
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RHP User
9 years ago
One evening, as Betsy walked up to the house, she noticed her Grandfather sitting on the porch swing. He was naked from the waist down. She quickly looked away and asked, "Grandpa, what are you doing out here in the cold without your pants?!" Grandpa growled, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on and got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's bright idea."
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Qefenta1' You do realise that Ken did not possess a penis ? 😈Q ....still giggling several minutes later over this. But yeah poor old Kenny doll.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Twat? I cunt hear you. I've got a ear infucktion. Tits ok, we'll finger it out....
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'StarJustice' I was like 16 not everyone had the Internet at home think it was only just coming into schools , well we had the net at home so one day beeing a teenager looking for pick up lines I came across a site ( before the days of web addresses printed at the bottom of paper and URLs where easy to save) It was G-lovers greatest pick up lines that had over300 pick up lines lucky I printed it out there and then as I could never find the site after that day. I still have the copy's of these pick up lines ! ( mind you some are so stupid and dumb , but others are really funny and good ) agh the old dial up days we had our own computer but the internet speed was so slow it was tedious, to the point where we never bothered. I remember trying to book travel arrangement for a holiday to Sydney. It took me so long, it would have been a better use of time to get a travel agent to do it for more. These days, few clicks and it would be sorted. I had a friend who would print of wads of joke sheets at work and swing by and drop them off to me practically every day. We'd have a drink together, he was good value. But how things have changed with the internet since then
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RHP User
9 years ago
Steady on girls...I don't want to crash and burn early. Let me work with this one.I'll try that line on on someone I know first. Just for a laugh..
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RHP User
9 years ago
I was 16 just a young teenage , I sort of forgot about anyone out of school, I was talking about not everyone as in my peers not adults sorry as sort of anyone older sort of didn't exist in a my teenage wold only family and friends and teachers . That wasn't the point of my post anyway my point was I still have these pick up lines 20 years later - Posted from rhpmobile
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soretongue
9 years ago
Used to have a t-shirt which read : "Warning. The person wearing this shirt is a police officer. Lie back and do everything the nice policeman tells you to do." I was never game to wear it out in public tho 😳
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Nitrox1
9 years ago
I'm in a Boyband called Wrong Direction.The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'StarJustice' I was 16 just a young teenage , I sort of forgot about anyone out of school, I was talking about not everyone as in my peers not adults sorry as sort of anyone older sort of didn't exist in a my teenage wold only family and friends and teachers . That wasn't the point of my post anyway my point was I still have these pick up lines 20 years later - Posted from rhpmobile Yeah I know, just me wandering off the subject again.....................
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RHP User
9 years ago
Number could i have your's? You name must be google cause you have everything im searching for! Are you a beaver cause dam!! Did you sut in sugar cause that's a sweet ass! People say disneyland is the happiest place on earth apparantly none of them have ever been in your arms!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Well I lost a guy the other day after I told him I'm like a vampire, that I need young flesh like a vampire needs blood, to sustain me Haven't heard from him since..............................
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MadhattersCat
9 years ago
I was 22 years old. Flying exploration surveys out of Nullagine. On the phone to my mum in the only phone booth in town. A middle aged aboriginal woman came up to me and said. " 6 pack for a head job mate " I thought she was going to give me a 6 pack for sucking my dick. I was young and confused !!
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RHP User
9 years ago
how about you save me money on rohypnol & just come home with me now. SOOO WRONG! but kinda funny:))
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Cazz61
9 years ago
Of my ex's favourites I would rather be hanging out of you than a gum tree. I would crawl over broken glass just to hear you piss in a bucket. They never got him anywhere hahaha
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RHP User
9 years ago
Roses are Red. Foxes are Clever I like your butt Can i touch it forever?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is your name Ariel Because I think we mermaid for each other
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NoRegretsEver
9 years ago
It's Christmas, it's the time for giving and sharing
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RHP User
9 years ago
The front: I got a Mercedes for my ex-wife... The back: ...it was a great trade!
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RHP User
9 years ago
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice
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0z_boy
9 years ago
Hey youve got nice legs! they go all the way up to your bum and then make a c#%% out of themselves,,,, 🏃 💨💨💨💨
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RHP User
9 years ago
But here goes. Apologies, some are a little nerdy, but so am I 😁 You're so hot, scientists just named you as the main cause of climate change! You're so hot, homeless men gather around you under a bridge! You're so fine, electron microscopes can't see you! You're so hot, aliens are going to invade our planet and steal you to use as a fuel source! You're so hot, Victoria's Secret models turn in their wings like Cougar did in Top Gun! 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'd like to paint you green and spank you like a misbehaved avocado ..
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RHP User
9 years ago
Okay I'm listening 😎 everybody knows I love the vegie section. You had me at avocado 😉 this avocado can be very naughty 😜😂
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thanks 👍 I mean for not using them again 😕😉
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Nitrox1' Of all your beautiful curves, your smile is my favorite. I just texted this to my wife Cheers
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RHP User
9 years ago
I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I will make your bed rock.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I was sent a message with this one time not so long ago ,When you come to my place next, i would like to wash you from head to toe and then lick dry with my tongue (", Well I can tell you ,I was by know means backward in coming forward to reply
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have retired them on your advice 😁 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'youandyouonly' I was sent a message with this one time not so long ago ,When you come to my place next, i would like to wash you from head to toe and then lick dry with my tongue (", Well I can tell you ,I was by know means backward in coming forward to reply if their tongue is wet you'll never get dry, and if their tongue is dry... well, who wants a dry lick? :-/ I'd suggest a thrice washed bath towel for the sweet spot of softness and efficient drying
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0z_boy
9 years ago
Quoting 'naughtytradie69' I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I will make your bed rock.. - Posted from rhpmobile I would have ticked you for that one but that is a bit Barney Rubble. ──────────██▄▄─────── ──────────██▀▀─────── ────────▄███▄──────── ──────▄█████───────── ─▀▄▄▀▀──█▄─█▄────────
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0z_boy
9 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' Quoting 'youandyouonly' I was sent a message with this one time not so long ago ,When you come to my place next, i would like to wash you from head to toe and then lick dry with my tongue (", Well I can tell you ,I was by know means backward in coming forward to reply if their tongue is wet you'll never get dry, and if their tongue is dry... well, who wants a dry lick? :-/ I'd suggest a thrice washed bath towel for the sweet spot of softness and efficient drying Parden? 👅
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Dorey12
9 years ago
Ladies, do one liners really work on a site like this? I would like to know what you think. Thanks.
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RHP User
9 years ago
...and you look like my next meal.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Do you like whales? Cause I've got a humpback at my place. Worked the only time i tried it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
... I've lost my virginity and wondering if I could have yours? I'm blind so can I try to read your t-shirt in braille?
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RHP User
9 years ago
... I don't know if you would be interested at all however I've a table reserved for two at my favourite restaurant an just might enjoy your company.
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RHP User
9 years ago
... Jade. I've never really slowed down long enough to tell you how much I appreciate your friendship let alone the hard work you put in when I've asked you for your help. Lunch today, please?
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RHP User
9 years ago
... we haven't talked since you left us on Collins Street and I sure have missed you.
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RHP User
9 years ago
... and haven't seen either you or Sheya since your commitment ceremony in the gardens. I'd love to catch up with both of you gorgeous ladies and suffer through another meal together at Red Spice. Ya'all in?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Maybe so but can you think of a better way of turning his pens and its supposed existence into a viable topic of conversation. plus even if she is not brave enough to say anything she is now thinking about his penis. for the win...
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RHP User
9 years ago
My name is Fred flinstone can I make your bed rock. I had a Brazilian mate who called his cock Elmo lol you can guess the tickle part hahaha - Posted from rhpmobile
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