One more safe sex post...

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I do not understand 'when required' this is a sex site...when would it NOT be required? If it's not on....it's not on - Posted from rhpmobile

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  DynamicCouple36

  9 years ago

  Not at all, with anyone who says "if required", as for us it implies that generally they don't practice safe sex, but will if they have to. We have seen many a couples profile where the male half has safe sex "never" and the female "always" . Don't know how that can work. A contradiction in terms. Our health, safety and well being is our priority. We prefer to err on the side of caution. In this game it is best to assume that everyone is a potential risk until being proven safe. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I have asked a few people Ive chatted to and seen that they have "if required" what do they mean by that. And most have said they use protection for intercourse but not oral, so thats why they didnt choose "always" So I think it doesnt mean someone is showing they arent too concerned about using rubbers. Its just their perception of what "always" means to them.Better to ask them when you are chatting than just wiping them off as not being safe.

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  Taleros

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'willowtree_2' I have asked a few people Ive chatted to and seen that they have "if required" what do they mean by that. And most have said they use protection for intercourse but not oral, so thats why they didnt choose "always" But in the safer sex options on profiles there is an option for "Always for intercourse" so they didn't need to select "If required" for that reason stated. As for us, we'll consider them like we do everyone else but it does weigh up in the factors of our interest in them and where we'd like it to go.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Yes totally agree, the obvious options are there, but thats just the feedback Ive recieved when Ive questioned what they mean. ( generally singles)

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'willowtree_2' I have asked a few people Ive chatted to and seen that they have "if required" what do they mean by that. And most have said they use protection for intercourse but not oral, so thats why they didnt choose "always" So I think it doesnt mean someone is showing they arent too concerned about using rubbers. Its just their perception of what "always" means to them.Better to ask them when you are chatting than just wiping them off as not being safe. That'd be their error in filling out the answer in their profile, as there are options that cover exactly that scenario. My profile is "Always for intercourse" for that reason. I've seen a few profiles who say "Always for all activities" but let's just say I've only met one person in reality who wanted barriers for oral sex. I think the "Always for all activities" sounds the safest, so some people go with that as their answer, whether or not it translates into actuality. Like Willow was getting at, though: what if some of the couples profiles are meaning sex with each other? Say there's a male & female couple who've been together for a decade or more. Could they be answering "If required" because they don't use condoms with each other, because they long ago established their STI status and figured out another form of birth control? But when swinging, maybe it's always "required"? Definitely unclear. If I had a couples profile, I'd go with "Always for intercourse" because the profile is designed to find other casual/swinging partners. I think everyone can assume that the couple mightn't use condoms with their own sex, and be okay with that. Singles profiles have less of a grey area, though...

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  Mischeviouslad

  9 years ago

  Cue.... a long "safe sex" is a delusional myth rant..... lol

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  rupamohan

  9 years ago

  I think it will work better if both "if required" and "sometimes" is replaced by "ask me"

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  madotara69

  9 years ago

  Yeah remember that list of whatsies. Upon pondering the question it was the only choice, if we ticked 'always at all times' that's not entirely true. e.g., if we are playing with a guy, I don't need to wear protection nor provide anything of proving such things a medical test determines, having sex with Tara, the guy then has the choice of playing in that scenario and has the choice to require I practice safe sex for crossing swords Maybe, not sure. Oral sex is sex, "always at all times" Bullshited you again. Sorry folks the idea is to be truthful, then we came to the forums and see all the if's and but's that seem to have become the acceptions of the rule insisted in that 'always at all times' where 'if required' suggests communication if required as too what our perception of the acceptions are as noted, flagged, ticked. Mado Mado Tara xx

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Slippery is right... couples would make exception for the "always" with each other. So in this discussion, I assume by "always", they would be only referring to ONLY casual or extra marital/couple relations, with sex within the couple being an unspecified exception? But I assume here that the query on people using "if required" would relate more to singles? I used to have "if required", but changed it due to the above perception problems. I meant that condoms would be REQUIRED for ALL casual sex, yet not required for a long term relationship if I had one (as I'm fixed). Make sense? I wouldn't put the "always for all activities", as I assume most women (and from experience) don't prefer to give oral sex with a condom on, despite them coming in flavoured versions.

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  madotara69

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'slippery_halo' Quoting 'willowtree_2' I have asked a few people Ive chatted to and seen that they have "if required" what do they mean by that. And most have said they use protection for intercourse but not oral, so thats why they didnt choose "always" So I think it doesnt mean someone is showing they arent too concerned about using rubbers. Its just their perception of what "always" means to them.Better to ask them when you are chatting than just wiping them off as not being safe. That'd be their error in filling out the answer in their profile, as there are options that cover exactly that scenario. My profile is "Always for intercourse" for that reason. I've seen a few profiles who say "Always for all activities" but let's just say I've only met one person in reality who wanted barriers for oral sex. I think the "Always for all activities" sounds the safest, so some people go with that as their answer, whether or not it translates into actuality. Like Willow was getting at, though: what if some of the couples profiles are meaning sex with each other? Say there's a male & female couple who've been together for a decade or more. Could they be answering "If required" because they don't use condoms with each other, because they long ago established their STI status and figured out another form of birth control? But when swinging, maybe it's always "required"? Definitely unclear. If I had a couples profile, I'd go with "Always for intercourse" because the profile is designed to find other casual/swinging partners. I think everyone can assume that the couple mightn't use condoms with their own sex, and be okay with that. Singles profiles have less of a grey area, though... Fair enough, though again 'if required' is the only choice that invites you on a level playing ground to be okay with that, don't feel we should assume you are okay, 'if required' kind of treats you as if you matter and you do.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Always for all activities: I chose the best sounding one without really thinking about it. When asked i say: "Of course I don't want to wear a condom/dam when someone is going down on me, what makes you think that?" Always for intercourse: I'm smart enough to know my risks and choose to engage in oral without a condom. If required: I say I will, but once in bed I'll see if I can get away with not wearing one. (And whine when I can't. I'm clean! I got tested 5 months ago!) Sometimes: I'm brave enough to be honest about the sentence above, and why wouldn't I be? I'm invincible and all women are on birth control, right? Besides, HIV is for gay guys and drug users. Never: I've been married so long it doesn't even cross my mind can actually catch something, let alone what's going around. My 2cts.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'madotara69'Fair enough, though again 'if required' is the only choice that invites you on a level playing ground to be okay with that, don't feel we should assume you are okay, 'if required' kind of treats you as if you matter and you do. Thanks for the promotion, Mado, and for putting it in writing at that! I reckon the main point of profiles on RHP are to attract new sexual partners, rather than to state what long-terms couples do in their private sex lives. If a couple wants to proudly proclaim that they don't use condoms with each other, that's great, maybe make a forum topic or put it on their blog. Maybe do a Facebook status or Tweet it to all of their followers, heh. Whereas the info on profiles isn't for the long-term partner's benefit. They already know that he has blue eyes and is a Leo, and that she has brown hair and is adventurous in bed. It's these potential new swinging partners who need to know that. So if the couple says 'Always for intercourse' on their profile, the intended audience can interpret the information is for their benefit. Always for intercourse when swinging with other people. I.e. it's a requirement for all RHP activities. Whereas, if they say, 'If required', that begs the question, 'When is it required, and by whom?' If it's not the couple's requirement, is it up to those they're swinging with? Him: 'Do you want me to use a rubber?' Her: 'Up to you, though I really like the feeling of being cum inside by a stranger.' Him: 'Well, to hell with the rubber then!' In that example, it wasn't required by any of the participants because the option to not use it was there, and that's the choice they went with. Putting 'Always' removes that option. It says to readers on RHP, 'As far as you're concerned, it's always a requirement'. When people have 'If required', my immediate thought is: Well, with whom has it already 'not been required'? I'm an 'Always', so that's already answered the question from my perspective. But if I was an 'If required' instead, would I potentially be able to have unprotected sex with them? If the answer is 'Yes', well, what's so special about me? Not much. So it could've been the same with men before me, and will be the same with men after me, each having nothing special about them either? Definite possibility.

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  madotara69

  9 years ago

  Yeah no you need to be an always as you are and that's very responsible indeed, we can be an 'if required' because we can, but you as an always has an option 'if required' I can put one on, but if I don't... you can't take your's off, we practice safe sex mate crickey. Can't guarantee your safety, it's limited to reflexes.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Cue.... a long "safe sex" is a delusional myth rant..... lol Well you didn't get your rant. Safe sex works best for the reckless, if you fuck anybody at the drop of a hat then yeah safe sex works extremely well. On the other hand, so to speak being discerning, patient, informed, (sterile ) and responsible is also safe, and a lot more intimate and enjoyable.

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