F55
Online Dating the Ugly Truth
December 02 2019
Comments
-
MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
The 40 yr old man (James who was on Big Brother)...I don't think he actually relized how bad his behavour was till he was confronted and actually had a discomforting raw conversation with one woman he dated. Do I think he will change?...nah he's addicted while on the apps. Yes, living real life is amazing and also having real face to face relationships. Ms Foxy
-
teamaj2
5 years ago
69 Model I totally agree with you with all the points that you have raised. I’ve voiced the exact same things to my partner . Dating whether it be RHP or RSVP sometimes lacks in human decency and respect . I think that we ,as couple , treat people as we would hope to be treated . We are only drawn to those that can communicate not just one line replies . We have not become cynical and we believe that there is respectful , fun ,like minded amazing people out there still . Some of whom we have met via RHP . Others we have met at events where thankfully phones are safely locked away. We are sadly a society addicted to online and the quick fix in all that we do . It’s understandable , alot of us are time poor . We agree more social interaction with the person in front of you instead of checking emails and answering Sms is of utmost importance . Thank you for Netflix recommendation , they are always most welcome .
-
EarthQueen
5 years ago
I found it quite sad. To me he seemed frightened of intimacy and like Foxy said addicted to the chase. Seemed like a pretty hollow existence in the long term. I think online dating can easily become that. Hollow and repetitive. If I feel at all jaded I just delete the apps or block messages and give myself a break. (which is like 80% of the time) and concentrate on real life. Theres no point trying to meet people if I'm not in the right headspace because you want to feel excited going on dates or meeting people, be it for sex or otherwise. I have a girlfriend who is constantly looking on apps and constantly dating. She attaches too much importance to these interactions and is constantly feeling deflated that she can't find a partner or that the dates don't work out to be "The One". I think it's just a symptom of feeling lonely and isolated in a disconnected society. It can easily become a mental health issue if you let it.
-
FeistyFatty
5 years ago
Yes I've watched that series. Interesting. Relatable.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
All we have to do is look at the bus stops, train stations, cafes of people waiting for their morning coffee and restaurants of people disengaged with society and glued to their phones. It’s sad. I don’t have any expectations that the person on the end of an app will consider me at all. A lot of people are online killing time really. I am very conscious that I don’t use my phone when engaging with people or in any situations above unless it’s an emergency. The world would be a better place if we all communicated more , and better. Off to watch your Netflix recommendation OP.
-
Samnite
5 years ago
Yes, I have observed all the behaviours mentioned. I have seen how people would rather engage with strangers on the internet rather than interact with strangers right next to them. On the one hand, engaging with strangers online seems to be less stressful because many people can get away with numerous things (e.g. sending dick pics, sleazy comments, abusive words, etc) with minimal consequences. We all know that the same behaviour to a real person would entail significant consequences. I find the saddest aspect is that most have become so addicted to their devices that they would rather bury their faces in one rather than interact with their friends when sitting right next to them. They join dating apps, meetup apps, facebook pages that hold events all in order to meet people. Then they bury their faces in their device when they go to meet people.
-
non_such
5 years ago
I don't think this problem is limited to dating. I see it in all interactions online, whether it is dating sites, talk boards, news sites, hobbies, enthusiasms, whatever. Don't even get me started about political discourse online.The internet is an echo chamber where those with low self-esteem can voice their opinions anonymously without fear of contradiction or interruption, and it breeds a sense of entitlement. I posted a photo of my motorcycle on an enthusiasts' website looking for parts, and got dozens of messages telling me what was wrong with my bike and what an asshole I was for riding such a thing. Out of sixty messages I got maybe two that were helpful and informative, and I consider that a good result. I now treat the internet like roulette: you have a 1 in 36 chance of hitting the right number, which is about the same odds as getting a message on the internet that will make you smile. I disregard the rest as just white noise.I work from the premise that everyone online is an idiot until proven otherwise by demonstrating respect, honesty, intelligence, tolerance, curiosity, humour, authenticity, and accurate spelling.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
I agree re phones...I saw a couple out for dinner the over night and they both hardly said a word to eachother as they were both glued to their phones...how rude and pointless being together...The lack of respect in society can be blamed on a lot of todays problems....where will it end !!!
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Talking to people in real life was a micro aggression ? Can’t win. I don’t disagree with you I’m just sick of all the blame and victimhood. My shell is getting thicker and I spend more time under it.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
I haven’t seen it but I’ll try to get a glimpse on the weekend.... But... The whole idea of online dating apps are to eliminate the very points that you raise...that being to find your picket fence type dream(whatever that looks like for you) without all the fuss.... It’s entirely transactional and impersonal...but you can’t have your cake and eat it too.... I’m not suggesting that disrespect should be acceptable either...I’m merely referring to the process being transactional and impersonal.... Mr dragon
-
AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
That the current generation 2000 onward is called "The new silent generation" They don't talk, too busy with Mr Google.
-
MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
Watching the show, James has actually taught us how players behave and why they behave that way they do. We really do need to thank him for the education. Ms Foxy
-
countrytouch82
5 years ago
I watched through most of the episode, which I found elsewhere online (no netflix). My experiences online for the longest part have been not so much a "serial online dater" as above, but a serial online "attempting to date(r)". I've been on, or am on, all of those OP mentioned sites minus Elite Singles (so not me haha), but also others in the past. RSVP for instance has been around since my adulthood, and I have met the most in person for conventional dating via that site. Prior to that I had also attempted to date via "real life". My occupation in transport occasionally allowed me to meet potential female suitors in person (often working in retail etc), and unlike the serial daters I would concentrate on just one at a time (not that there was a choice lol). That meant, trying to have at least a few conversations with them before asking them out, which I thought would show I wasn't just trying to hook up based on their presence but that I really wanted to know about them. Also, by conversing first, it often also told me via conversation topics (what did you get up to on the weekend" etc) IF they were actually single at all. So then I didn't have to actually ask in those cases. As it happened, the great majority that I did end up asking told me that they weren't available. So online dating and singles nights, speed dating etc were also things I tried. As smartphones and relevant dating apps evolved, contrary to the experiences of those in concentrated populations, I only met one person in two years of Tinder, and none via the other apps (and ironically rarely got any match conversations started via Bumble where women must message their matches first, so go figure...). On these apps, people search by proximity, however I still got matches by being in Melbourne for much of the working week (yes there are also fake GPS apps too, to help perhaps). In my rural setting, I see it differently, I value very much so any time spent in female company be it for intimacy, dating, or platonic friendships. I don't take anyone for granted. And I try very hard not to unintentionally screw anyone around. Although I have still upset intimate friends and been upset by them in turn, something I guess is inevitable despite our best efforts. I relate to the scene in the episode where one (the woman) is upset and in tears about feeling so confused and anxious. Like the guy in the episode was appearing eventually to learn, yes, you can still have casual liasons/sex, BUT you still have to be mindful of feelings and be open, and discuss where both people are at any given moment, not string anyone along under false assumptions or expectations. Whether you meet online or not. Texting and messaging, in general, almost counts as "online", in that apart from emoticons etc, you are without nuances such as body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, all the things that can make pure text sometimes seem bland and heartless even if you try to say the right things. Because of the lack of emotions it can make people feel distant. And it's so easy to just ghost. It helps more to keep contact with those you already know, but in the getting to know you phase, I'm not sure it assists anything near the in person contact, or video or normal phone conversation.
-
Supernova
5 years ago
Just on the social interaction thing: definitely some very good points about how we are becoming disengaged, as mentioned earlier - the restaurant table scenario I’ve also seen far too often!! And it made me realise how grateful I am for my shitty phone battery. Basically, my phone battery can’t even last a full day without charging it. So, when I’m out and about in the world, I’m actually forced to turn off my phone, and only turn it on when I ACTUALLY need it. At first I considered my dying phone a pain in the ass and I should probably get a new one...but also it’s been a refreshing detox from constantly checking news, social media and dating apps, or whatever trivial question I felt I needed the answer to immediately. The result is that my head is up, on the tram in looking out the window and taking in life... ...wait, what was the topic again..?
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Quoting 'usebi' Talking to people in real life was a micro aggression ? Can’t win. I don’t disagree with you I’m just sick of all the blame and victimhood. My shell is getting thicker and I spend more time under it. Had to look up exactly what micro aggression means. So it's meant to be harmless behaviour, however if repetitive can have opposite effect. So its repetitive if one person has the same micro aggression from many people.Either way seems you are also isolating yourself from interaction. Just think perhaps if each person just took a little time to let the other person know what they thought of their behaviour then each time they heard it may actually start to have an impact. One can live in hope.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Mr Dragon - You may have to go over that again for me as I don't get what your trying to say.
-
bonefide
5 years ago
The tried and true method of venture out into the real world to make it happen, like stopping to smell the roses, (if not allergic).
-
Mask_007
5 years ago
I'm must say, all of that makes me feel so old... i can't do these online business. Is to hard to keep up...
-
non_such
5 years ago
I watched that show.They must have searched hard to find the shallowest guy available:former reality TV contestant,working in hospitality in the shallowest town in the world: Las Vegas,and apparently only dating blonde white girls more than ten years younger than him.He was a sad man child.Forty years old and still living in a shared rental with no possessions except a big TV and a spookily large collection of hats.Deeply insecure about his age and maybe his thinning hair (judging by the hats.)Typical narcissistic pattern: date a girl for as long as she is giving you supply,but then cut her off dead as soon as she does anything negative.He actually admitted he had developed an online persona as a nice guy with old-school manners because it yielded better results.His Eureka moment at the end when confronted by the interviewer only resulted in him tweaking his online search parameters to include women his own age.I really hope he isn't a true example of the behaviour of single men online.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Ok...I hope this helps :) So every online dating site that I’ve visited, be it as an active member or just having a look have all seemingly had the same marketing approach... That is the advertisement that their online dating site is the best way to meet people and find what you seek, no fuss, join today and connect with likeminded individuals... That essentially to me is entirely making relationships whatever their context, entirely transactional...it’s not promoting the personal touch like what I believe that you’re drawing focus to...we promote this box ticking before selection like as if we’re in the supermarket trying to find the best bbq sauce...and with 15 different brands, it’s easy to shove 14 back on the shelf... To me that’s encouraging a transactional exchange more so than a personal connection when compared to meeting someone in the street where you know nothing about them other than your loins stir and you wish to progress to talking in an attempt to connect.... Mr Dragon
-
cat_n_the_hatter
5 years ago
It was easier before the Internet, especially if your friends or family knew the prospective boyfriend/girlfriend. I remember my father once told me about his friend being with the girl and she got pregnant. Then young man did not want to "settle" ... His father, sister and his friends put pressure on him and he married her. Surprisingly they stayed married and were "happy". I know many men would jump on this to say how it is "unfair" to him and how it doesn't solve anything. However,the point is that his family and friends did not want his behaviour to be associated with them. His father even threaten to denounce him. Internet gives a false belief of belonging to a community. Only face to face honest and deeper conversations can give you an insight into someone’s personality. A man who lies to one woman has little problem lying to two or anyone, irrelevant to online issue. It is easy to "love" someone when everything is fun and it doesn’t cost you anything. Signs that he/she really cares about you involve sacrifice, not pleasure. However, the whole process can, for men interested in forming deeper relationships, become tiresome and disheartening as they behave in ways they think “most” women want. Actually, regarding phone annoyance (not dating occasion), I once left the table after noticing someone checking on his phone continuously. There were few of us sitting. I asked if it was urgent. No - was reply. Then I offered others to move to another table... and we did. We enjoyed our conversation. (Ms)
-
curious_72
5 years ago
Don't get me started on online dating.. It is the most soul destroying thing you can ever do, but with the way our lives are out there now how are we supposed to meet someone? I just feel like a usable disposable item. Problem is it's like lotto, if you don't have a ticket how in the hell are you supposed to meet someone you do want to spend time with and isn't just looking for sex? I did see someone 5 times a few months ago, he just stopped texting me one weekend while he was in Bundaburg, a woman from bundaburg suddenly liked his facebook posts strangely. I texted him and said it's cool if you're seeing someone else, just would have been nice to be told. He tried to make me out to be a weirdo control freak because I looked at his facebook.. umm ok.. I refused to let him blame me for his behaviour.Apart from him it's an endless supply of guys just looking for a root. That's why I originally joined here, I figured at least the blokes on here were honest on what they were looking for but I as I'm not sleeping with anyone and don't expect to meet someone to be with from here it's not going to help either.
-
bonefide
5 years ago
Just be positive understand people may not immediately see your worth, it may be people will with time see your value.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Youtube;Omeleto; A single man tries to find his next date the 'old-fashioned' way - offline
-
countrytouch82
5 years ago
Usebi, I watched it. Interesting how many attempts it takes. And that's just doing it like random "cold canvassing". Not even having a few conversations first like I prefer. This was literally like three people sitting together... You? How about you? Or you? Personally I've never successfully made a completely offline date. There has always been some kind of online platform or connection or community. I include other dating services in this. Two exceptions were when friends/family set someone up for me. One didn't wish for a second date (not unusual), another I met in the last two weeks of her work visa (and not the only time someone left the country afterwards...). Go figure... :P
-
EarthQueen
5 years ago
I was watching Fight Club last night and I was filled with nostalgia when Helena Bonham Carter and Ed Norton swapped numbers by writing it on each others hands.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Online dating is exactly like applying for a job - the ten-percent rule applies... For just a moment put aside the fact that a vast majority of dating site profiles are fake: - guy sends 1000000 introductory messages to 'women' - 100000 'women' might actually read them - 10000 'women' might actually then go and explore the guy's profile - 1000 'women' might actually write back with a response - 100 of those responses is positive showing genuine interest - 10 of those women want to meet up for a date - 1 date ends up becoming more. If we are 'switched on' to meeting people in real life (is that something that online dating is destroying?), the same basic thing applies. Unfortunately for guys, there is a perception that women utilise the '666' rule: - guy must be at least 6 foot tall (180 cm) - he must have a 6 inch (150 mm) or longer erect penis - he just have a 6-figure salary I certainly see a huge prevalence of the first one - the height - where women deliberately state that will only consider guys taller than them. And that's entirely a woman's choice to do that, same as saying a guy must be employed, etc. The most stupid thing is to not want a guy with 'baggage'. Every one of us - man or woman - has 'baggage' in the form of 'life experience'. How we deal with it and use it to create a better, more positive life for ourselves and whoever is around us that counts. For me personally, the most disgusting this is a woman that smokes - regardless of whether it's a real tobacco or related product or a fake synthetic e-cigarette (ie. vaping). But again that's a personal choice.
-
AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
I'm sure similar views were held when the telephone was invented. A call could be made to ask someone out, usually the male to the female. There didn't have to be the face to face thing and therefore the embarrassment of rejection somewhat avoided. Perhaps no different than getting a school friend to deliver a note to a girl you wanted to ask out. All the principals are similar. Just gone next level that is all. Easier or just lazy?
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Your dropped. See how easy that was. And I didn't even have to date you, clinical and care free.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
at least on a phone I could here you cry
-
AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
But yeah, if you had been using the online thing properly, you'd have noticed I'm associated with the "family" Dropping me means my godfather is sending some cement boots your way...for upsetting his little princess.....
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Really height has to do with it, I don't think so.At least a 6" or bigger penis (average aussie male is 6.5") cant blame a woman for at least aiming for average.What I have noticed is more offers of sugar dating. Which I find amusing when Im older than the gentleman who offer it. Financially I support myself and more than happy to buy the first round. Have you just considered that your just not there cup of tea. So instead of just saying sorry not interested and good luck with your search. They come up with less than favourable reasons.Which is really bad behaviour IMO. But this is the online world and really what is true or real until you actually meet someone.Oh and yes I'm one of those disgusting women who smoke. But at least if i go out with a non smoker then I don't smoke while on date. It all comes down to a little respect if your not prepared to give then your certainly not going to receive it. Quoting 'zonavar68' Online dating is exactly like applying for a job - the ten-percent rule applies... For just a moment put aside the fact that a vast majority of dating site profiles are fake: - guy sends 1000000 introductory messages to 'women' - 100000 'women' might actually read them - 10000 'women' might actually then go and explore the guy's profile - 1000 'women' might actually write back with a response - 100 of those responses is positive showing genuine interest - 10 of those women want to meet up for a date - 1 date ends up becoming more. If we are 'switched on' to meeting people in real life (is that something that online dating is destroying?), the same basic thing applies. Unfortunately for guys, there is a perception that women utilise the '666' rule: - guy must be at least 6 foot tall (180 cm) - he must have a 6 inch (150 mm) or longer erect penis - he just have a 6-figure salary I certainly see a huge prevalence of the first one - the height - where women deliberately state that will only consider guys taller than them. And that's entirely a woman's choice to do that, same as saying a guy must be employed, etc. The most stupid thing is to not want a guy with 'baggage'. Every one of us - man or woman - has 'baggage' in the form of 'life experience'. How we deal with it and use it to create a better, more positive life for ourselves and whoever is around us that counts. For me personally, the most disgusting this is a woman that smokes - regardless of whether it's a real tobacco or related product or a fake synthetic e-cigarette (ie. vaping). But again that's a personal choice.
-
countrytouch82
5 years ago
Just a fact check, from nearly all quoted online sources, Australian men appear to come in with an average of 5. 2 inches, slightly above the approximate worldwide average of around 5.1, sources do vary but not by much. In any case I've almost never seen the minimum requested being 6 in, most request a minimum to be 7-8 inch. 4 to 6.5 inch appears to cover about 90% of the population. Back directly to the topic, yes of course you must respect other people's preferences and if you're not there preferences just move along. Why it takes so long to find anyone, is simply trying to find someone who's preference as you DO meet. If there was no online dating I guess women would have to ask men in person up front, one of the first questions how big are you :P The equivalence superficial men who are definitely out there will be interested in breast size etc but we don't have to ask about that :P
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Well said as always country. Was a bit tongue in cheek my comment regarding size. Also tbh what a man has in his pants is totally irrelvant to my choice of whether I will meet them and so is the height factor. But i must comment more often than not men are throwing cock pics at u in the first contact. Number one turn off for me. Im not going to meet a cock. Im going to meet a face with the eyes and smile I liked. Not all here are superficial.
-
Keepitsimple01
5 years ago
Just be yourself and approach people the way you think you should or the way you already are. If people react like the kind of people you don't want to be around. Then I guess your search is working. It makes you wonder who raised these people though and how they made it to the egg first. I mean, it couldn't take it up to much space in the brain to know hot to treat people with respect and a bit of good old common courtesy. Damaged frontal lobe .....no decision making skills. No roots either.🙊
-
IamwhoIam
5 years ago
In the context of dating site behaviour my theory is that its all about the anonymity....people who are so inclined feel less inhibited and have no compunction about being rude or saying nasty things as, if the recipient calls them to account, they can simply 'pull the plug'/block or just ignore and move on. In the context of people tapping away on their phones in pubs, cafes etc I think its more about ego or insecurity...perhaps both. Admittedly I have had very little experience with the plethora of 'social networking' apps that clutter the ethernet ( I did set up a Facebook account about 10 years ago but shut it down a fortnight later) and while I readily acknowledge these platforms are invaluable in times of crisis/emergencies for disseminating information/updates to huge numbers of people quickly, these apps seem to be all about getting as many 'likes' or 'followers' as possible and it ultimately becomes an addiction for many that needs to be constantly fed. Some years ago I flew to Brisbane for a business event and joined the lengthy queue at the taxi rank and watched as cab after cab invariably drove away with 1 passenger. As the majority of people in line were 'suits' I assumed they were mostly all heading into 'the city' as was I. Realising at this rate I would be late getting to my destination along with many of my fellow commuters I managed to get the attention of the taxi rank Marshall and asked him if Brisbane taxis didn't do ride share. He seemed a bit taken back by my question but gathered his wits and said would see if he could organise something. Long story short, we all got on our way a damn sight quicker than we otherwise would have if the 'status quo' was allowed to continue. It struck me that, firstly, the commuters must have been so averse to sharing a cab with a stranger that they were prepared to be late for work/appointments and secondly that the cab drivers were that disinterested in providing an efficient service AND earning more money for each trip they did that they were happy to keep driving away with empty seats! I couldn't get my head around the mentality then and still can't understand it to this day....not sure if maybe it is a product of the 'online' mentality or vice-versa.
-
FunLoving
5 years ago
w Without having seen the series. We are always being respectful even if people think they don't have to be. We just retreat quietly. It is ok sometimes to help people to see that they are not doing the right thing but not slash out at them. It is their problem at the end.
-
countrytouch82
5 years ago
Online vs offline dating... I don't know what most people's experiences are going offline dating, that is going to local hotels, clubs, bars, social groups etc with some idea of hoping to meet someone. In my circumstances I've mainly had to do these kinds of things mainly on my own. Certain places are better for it than others. For example eating or dining alone seems much easier at a cafe than at a formal restaurant, but at which place is it easier to ask someone out or where are they willing to be interrupted and bothered by random strangers doing such? This is where the benefit of a "wing person" comes into effect. Perhaps the types of venues like jazz or piano bars are good for just enjoying the music alone and not looking lonely lol when no conversations or number changing happens...
-
RHP User
5 years ago
One of the things I'm not comfortable with while travelling is eating at restaurants on my own. I still get out and go see some live music but think its been a decade since I was approached while out. Most of this is probably my own fault as a gf pointed out I'm a bit introverted. So making efforts and trying small things like striking up a conversations while waiting to order my drink at the bar. But what was weird the other day while at nudist beach standing on waters edge I struck up a convo with a man passing by. So wondering why I can do that easily but at bar dressed I feel awkward. Go figure
-
madferrret
5 years ago
I miss what we called pulling a bird back in the old country...putting in the effort with clean freshly ironed shirt great aftershave and a good haircut. First eye contact.here friends, your friends. Dance floor. Dare I say kebab shop lol..... you had to put the time and effort in xx
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Great forum topic Online dating is a misnomer, it should be called online trawling (as opposed to trolling). I have the mindset that if I wouldn't say or behave in a certain manner in a face to face meeting why would I think it's ok to behave that way online? I wouldn't walk into a pub with my cock in my hand or walk up to a woman, grab her head and force her to look at my cock. So what makes "men" think it's ok to introduce yourself to a stranger with nothing but a Dick pic? Unfortunately it seems the normal behaviour of the internet Neanderthal painting all men with that "Neanderthal brush". Is it indicative of today's "throw away" society that we think that people should also be "thrown away" if they don't match the picture we have in our minds? Be respectful and polite in all interactions, it's as simple as that. Ask yourself "how would I feel if I received this message" BEFORE you hit the send button.
-
bonefide
5 years ago
But what was weird the other day while at nudist beach standing on waters edge I struck up a convo with a man passing by. What a lucky bugger he was. Enjoy your Xmas break young lady.
-
FredAndGinger2
5 years ago
After being on RHP and a few other sites for swingers for the past 4 years we have found that the best way to meet people is face to face at a social meetup. We want to see they they can conduct themselves well in a public setting in a fun, flirty and respectful way. Only then might the sparks fly and dress (and pants) come off for intimate xxx fun.
-
DeanW
5 years ago
Imo the problem lies when people conflate online interaction as a replacement for face to face interaction. Clearly both are very different dynamics. They are not the same, so can’t be held to the exact same standards and definately not the same qualities. However, in both cases, when it comes to decency and respect... if you don’t have something at least cordial to say, best don’t say anything at all. Using the safe anonymity of online as a hiding place from being a decent person is not an acceptable behaviour. All just my personal opinion and approach... but I think as people in a society some common standards of behaviour are absolutely necessary. I find online communication, including here on RHP, a mixed bag... as is everything.
-
Daretodive
5 years ago
The thing with online dating is you never really know if you will meet someone nice, or end up being worn as a skin suit ;-)
-
IamwhoIam
5 years ago
Quoting 'EarthQueen' I was watching Fight Club last night and I was filled with nostalgia when Helena Bonham Carter and Ed Norton swapped numbers by writing it on each others hands. That wouldn't work for me these days!...Probably from about the age of 16 I religiously carried a notebook and pen but in recent years with the advent of 'smart phones' I have ditched the pen and notebook and use my phone for that purpose...an added bonus is that it backs up to my laptop as well!
-
eroarts
5 years ago
I have not seen the series but it seems endemic in our society.Why this sense of entitlement? This instant gratification thing?Anyone see - The story of sugar - last night, insightful.
-
timmy754u
5 years ago
I get all of this single dad shift worker time poor what are the options
-
MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
there is options in that situation. It is called time management and self motivatiin. I was in that exact same situation. If I can do it, so can others. IMO Being time poor is just an excuse and laziness. Ms Foxy
-
RHP User
5 years ago
I find this online great. I don't call this site a dating site and am not really looking for a long term date. But yes if the right lady came up well wat can I say . I enjoy this site as on my profile I can say who I am and wat I like to do . Some girls like and some don't fair enough . But I have met some great friends on here who really enjoy wat I am about . They also find out wat they enjoy and are surprised . Some times very .. for some one like me I don't drink or do drugs so I am not into going to pub/clubs at all. And like to keep to myself and my job . I have not watched that movie and will not . I am an individual and I don't think all girls are the same yes we are wanting sex etc ,but everyone is different ..that's my opinion even if a little off topic . Thanks
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Great example of message i received yesterday. Was a first message. Would u like to meet and drain me of my fluids. Cant say i find anything appealing about that nor any reason why i should bother to reply. If i did it go along the lines of "wake up to yourself"
-
MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
that's just vile, feral and grubby. I highly doubt he would walk to a woman in public and say that. I do also believe that some women would have responded and jumped at that opportunity too. So can't really blame him 100% for sending a message like that out. Ms Foxy
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Well Foxxy Some might enjoy draining the fluids out of a stranger. Just not a approach that appeals to me.
-
nightingale8
5 years ago
If someone is asking for fluids to be drained out of him you know he's gotten desperate. Quite a gamble given the ambiguity of the question 😂😂 An ex flatmate of mine was the girl equivalent of the serial dater you describe, OP. Always talking about how friends and dates wanted to spend time with her but she didn't have time, she was so popular. I expected it when I joined the ranks of past acquaintances. It's no reflection of the majority and says nothing about me. I just felt a bit sorry for her.
-
AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
Drainng the fluids is an end process. From hello to the end step has several steps that he wants to bypass/shorten. Either he is married and doesn't want to waste difficult to procure time, or he is a Neanderthal and quite happy to drag you by the hair back to his cave. Both are plentiful in this world. Yes there are plenty of married women and Neanderthal women that would happily take him up on the offer. But thankfully a few of us are not of that persuasion and happy to tell him to fuck off. Either back to his unsuspecting wife or his cave.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Annie Well said and exactly my thought process too. Dislike the attitude that because this is a sex site more so than it used to be. Still doesnt mean Im going to meet up for offers like that.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Sounds like a crock of shit really.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Draining fluids?? Hahaha tell him he needs white lady funerals, not RHP 😂😂 Mr Dragon
-
ozrocks
5 years ago
Now such, if you didn't ride such a shitty bike, you wouldn't get laughed at. And the rest of you who think that what happens on Netflix is a reflection of real life, well your partly right. Just keep in mind that these shows are made so as to normalised in your mind the behaviour are watching, so as when particular values are introduced to you in real life, the majority of people will be ok with it. This happens more than you realise, and it is a surreptitious way of introducing agenda items that people havent been conditioned to accept, would normally reject. One fine example of this is mobile phones. If twenty years ago, someone had said " I want everyone in the country to carry a device that tracks your moves, lists your friends and records your conversations and documents your life, opinions and habits , there would be turmoil and rebellion. However through careful marketing, they now have people queuing up to spend several weeks salary on them. Wake up and disobey the parasites
-
countrytouch82
5 years ago
Or visit the blood donor van...
-
david86009
5 years ago
Fail. Somehow that post ended up in the wrong forum. Apologies.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Online dating texting has no personality or emotions.im not interested in a pen pal I’d much rather meet in a public place of her choosing its easier and quicker to work out if it’s going north or south
-
timmy754u
5 years ago
You just look how the reaction goes when you say hi on the train or bus at the super market i work shift work time precious single dad try this app stuff always friendly in public what is the option anyway keep trying everyone no correct answer i guess
-
timmy754u
5 years ago
Possesions don't identity the person people should learn to accept what's in front of them right now are you better than me because you drive a Porsche or am i better because i was dux of school and played high level sport irrelevant really life should be about the now not the why or what for
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Possessions mean nothing, they dont make u happy. I find people who gloat about what they have a turn off.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Moan a... That’s cod you don’t have the new and improved wonder dick 5000 like I do!! Oh yeah....that bad boy goes from zero to climax in under 2 seconds!! Worth a whole lotta dough too!! 12 muffins to be exact... Wanna check dat out or wha?? 😂😂😂 Mr dragon
-
RHP User
5 years ago
And for the record.... Autocorrect can officially go fuck something else, I’m all fucked out by it for one day.... Mr dragon
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Mr Dragon Well what a invitation that is but i like my orgasims to build and to be continuous. 2 seconds is a bit quick dont you think ?
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Hahahaha ok ya got me on that one... 3 it is then 😂😂 Mr dragon
-
RHP User
5 years ago
My New Years resolution was to only date guys and not give in to their demands for sex immediately. I changed my criteria and intend to date and date only, coffee, dinners, movies. Anything except sex the first meet. So far? Success rate = 0 Heaps of views on my profile but suddenly the messages have reduced down to 1-2 a day. From my experience, guys will not ‘waste’ their time with niceties, it’s to much hard work without the guarantee of action. They are happy to wait home alone until a girl (any girl will do basically) agrees to go to their house and fuck and leave. I know that I am dodging a bullet but I can’t help but feel sorry for them because it’s a lonely existence and they will never experience a truly satisfying and intense sexual experience with a stranger. They let their past experiences affect their future ones, I assume they’re scared to let people close. They may be ‘living the dream’ but in reality, they don’t actually know what they are missing out on. My second NY resolution? Don’t let fear stop me from doing what I want. I am now getting rejected and getting abused for being ‘difficult’ but at least they are showing their true colours and their real intentions straight up so I am not wasting my time any more. They reveal their true self pretty quickly.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Babydoll Ive been meeting people for coffee or dinner date, always go with no expectation and no play ideals. Ive had cancelled dates because of my meet first play later. Still gotten abused after date via text because of the no sex. Had a man ask me do you have a 18yr daughter I can fuck while I date you and wait for u to put out. Ive asked direct questions when conversations havent added up or didnt seem right. Then either been accused of not trusting people or find out they are attached when listed as single. On the very rare occasion you can meet someone who is completely honest, considerate and amazing person. This happened to me recently and reinstalled my faith that there are still great men out there. Keep doing what your doing as your worth the effort and time.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Maybe these guys are getting tired of women who date for free dinners ? I’m not accusing you at all but on most dating sites and particularly the vanilla ones there is a substantial cohort of women who’s only intention is free dinner and entertainment. It’s pretty crap but true. Finding decent people is way harder than it should be.
-
Mask_007
5 years ago
Is a lot of people doing judy for the Hunting thrill of, and much more extremely interesting in being superficial... Just interested in profile pictures. (Look good)
-
RHP User
5 years ago
I find that offensive as i have paid for dinners and coffee. Also refused dates based on offers of sugar dating. But still can appreciate a man who opens doors or offers to pay for dinner. If he does then i pay for drinks. Some like u make a good woman want to curse.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
I specifically said, "I’m not accusing you at all" didn't I ? Indeed I commend your ethics, but not your comprehension.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
I think that’s a hard reach usebi.... Because if we flip that about a bit, it could be suggested that men only offer to pay in order to get the sex.... Both of which I’d disagree with.... People can be cunts....that’s a reality....and there’s no true 100% way of mitigating exposure to them no matter what side of the fence we sit on.. Mr dragon
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Sure they do, and they get real pissy when the women walk of laughing into the sunset because Joe "think with my dick" has been had yet again. People can be cunts. Old saying,"women are mean and men are stupid" It's a self propagating feedback loop. Getting out of it takes some reflection and discipline. My above comments that mortally offended poor Moana weren't designed to offend, just to shed some light. It's such a pity that any comments that may reflect poorly on female behaviour are immediately seized upon as some bitter misogynistic vendetta, whereas the man bashing is just part of the culture here. Of course the reasons it is so are in plain sight.Oh and as for being a hard reach I've actually been privy to the conversation so I know damn well it's a thing.
-
MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
A secure confident man would pick up if a woman was just after "free dinners" sane goes vice versa for a woman. A secure confident woman would pick up ques from a man offering "free dinners", in exchange for a free root. If people were respectful and treated each other the same way, were into each other, confident and secure, this negitive thinking of "free dinners", wouldn't even cross their minds. If someone had that mind set of "free dinners", it makes me think of triggers of bitterness. Not really attractive or turn on. But then again some want to have free dinners and a root. It's a matter of "practice dating" to find out who does and who does not. Ms Foxy
-
MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
Oh come on.. And your latest post didn't reek of women bashing, especially to the OP stating "offended ""poor"" Moana". 😯 Ms Foxy
-
RHP User
5 years ago
If you deliberately misinterpret something in order to feign offence that’s pretty damn poor.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
What you wrote I found offensive and to offend me personally would take a great deal more. When posting I do TRY to give specific examples of my experience as to not tar all with same brush. However had you considered placing your first sentence after your second then it may not of come over so harshly. My post was to bring up topic of poor communication and online negative behaviours. So at least it may make people stop and think of there own interactions. Hoping it may bring forward some small change. Even if only a handfull.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Usebi.... I’m probably just lucky, or stupid just I’ve not really experienced it to be honest on here or those other sites like POF or RSVP.... But I’m a firm believer that disappointment comes from having expectations of a return that’s very narrow in definition. Or maybe I’m too guarded and simple?? Cos sure I may pay for dinner, but not for any other reason other than because I choose to...I can’t do it all the time, but again I’ve not met anyone that hasn’t offered to pay their way.... 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️ Mr dragon
-
RHP User
5 years ago
You proved my point impeccably.
-
SEQLDFWB4US
5 years ago
The worlds fad with 'Interconnected Lonliness' is saddening, and as big of a problem it is becomming for such a social species as we are, I dont think we could go backwards from here in order to get better without a brainwashing of sorts. And try explaining someone raised in a democratic society it's in their best interest to be 'brainwashed' of their unsocial behaviours 😂😂 Our attention spans are considerably shorter than they once were which would suggest that even the old Speed Dating would take way too long for the vast majority nowadays as its much slower than swiping left or right on Tinder. Atleast Asia on on the front foot with this - Device and Internet Addiction is a massive growth industry over there (kind of like the NDIS here) and has been for a few years now. I think mainly in China Korea and maybe Japan are leading this. Refer back to my first paragraph and it may suggest why atleast two of these 3 countries are having great success in reforming the addicted.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
I don't think you are lucky or stupid, I think you have the gift of reading people well or the insight to use your discernment.And all of those skills come from the large brain in your head not the small brain between your legs. Power to you.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
Yep I agree. Online dating was supposed to hold much promise but please mostly only devalue each other Face to face is preferred
-
cyanpepper
5 years ago
At the risk of sounding like a complete douche bag... *drum roll* + *fireworks* : I send individualised texts, and communicate as if I am completely present, face to face with any + every given person. A small few have noticed. I am not at all diligent in my everyday life. But being on the recieving end of half hearted generic communication often breaks my heart. So... I make an effort and resist mimicking it. Anyway. So.... What are you wearing?
-
non_such
5 years ago
there is a great podcast by Georgie Wolf on the Curious Conversations website about gender imbalance online, the reasons behind it, and what we can all do to improve things.
-
RHP User
5 years ago
I was teenager , when chatting become so popular. I remember msn messanger was working properly, not much information about profile , like all social networks nowadays, basically the main important things was just know few basic information and if both happy , meet in real life and going from there. When Facebook becomes famous , basically killed msn, at the start was even works, was easy to knowing more people around , because friends of friends in Facebook and give good opportunity. But slowly slowly people lost the interest in really knowing other people , but get more interest in show off whatever they doing in they’re life , At same time we grow up dating online , basically most of my generation don’t have the knowledge how to meet a new person without internet, but because Facebook and Instagram are not anymore used for dating , but more for keep in touch with some friends and show to other whatever doing in the life. After become so popular app like tinder, where in the end I don’t know much how much they works, so many profile , decison is made in only 1 second in base of first picture, basically the probability of found someone what fit with you are very low. Personally in my life the only successful relationship, I made in school or work. And honestly I’m start getting tired to sliding online date what bring lot of expectations and in the end put lot of efforts with minimal results Example when I was in Europe , I didn’t use anything like rhp, I just was going to swinger club sand sometimes worked sometimes not, but at least not expectations, here happen to see lot of profile , wha tin theory are looking for the same things , but in the end only few come to the happy ending, many profile never realise what they’re are looking for , or many of them are not even real profile
-
EarthQueen
5 years ago
I sometimes wonder What my life would have been like if I’d never online dated? I’d have way fewer entertaining stories to tell but would I have a less sullied mindset. Were the few great dates, connection and great sex worth the trade off of angst, abuse and mediocre sex ? We live in strange times. It’s been interesting to live my adult years in a period of history that have been so diverse. Technology is so rapid, it’s hard to imagine how it will be in 20 years time? What will the landscape look like then ? Kind of mind blowing.
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share