rupamohan

rupamohan

M55 F50

Online vs in-real

October 13 2015

If you think even prolonged on-line chats can't tell much about a person. Do you think on-line forum post from the same person can tell you any more? Why?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    How often the person posts,one off posts don't really give a good indication of someone's thoughts,feelings,or personality ...I have been here for over three years and all the posters that I have met in real life have pretty much lived up to their online personas xxFreya

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    9 years ago

    A regular poster over time could not maintain a false personality. The true self will show. All the forumites i have met have been true to the person i thought they were.

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    I can guarantee yiu and annie can testify that I am as pristine and innocrnt as young lass in her first communion day. ;-)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Ive met some forumites at a meet@greet who I was quite surprised they were a lot more reserved and quiet than how I percieved them from their upfront and in your face posting style.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Same here, a few people I have met have been quieter that I expected, going by their online presona? But thats not a bad thing. Mostly though, just as I thought they would be like, if not even lovelier and more fun! Especially my girlfriends xx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Maybe they didnt like me so they didnt want to talk to me. Haha. Also met some ppl that I wasnt that stimulated by their forum postings, but in rl chatting they were a lot more interesting.

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    9 years ago

    Pmsl. You had a few majitos? But yes, you are sweet and innocent........ Gawd, how many drinks you owe me now?? Snnie......

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'willowtree_2' Maybe they didnt like me so they didnt want to talk to me. Haha. Also met some ppl that I wasnt that stimulated by their forum postings, but in rl chatting they were a lot more interesting. and just like that you sent gaggles of forumites off into the depths of uncertainty wondering which camp they fell into... :p

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    It can draw a rough picture based on people's opinions. The forum can also draw out facts about a person they you not not gave been aware of.

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    9 years ago

    Most people are inherently good people, I believe. Written responses in the forums give people the luxury of time... time to think, time to research, time to draft and edit. Clearly though.... not everyone uses that time.... lolFace to face communications add depth to the interactions.... a depth that cannot be fully gauged through their written persona, and make no mistake, for some people their presence in here IS just that. A persona, an avatar. Doesnt make them good or bad people.But circumstance and environment affect and dictate peoples behaviour. DG

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    I have met a few people on here who's online persona was very out there, with uber sexy post of their sexual appetites and exploits that would leave me in awe when I first joined the site and just perusing the forums. I thought ' Oh my God, these women are so sexually confident etc'. when I met them at the meet and greet, they were quiet as a mouse and very reserved but still lovely. Just left me puzzled at first as I am as chatty and cheerful as in my online persona, I think. the only variation is when at work, I put on my corporate persona and keep a conservative front as my work is serious business. And the converse also applies... ok. back to work. having salad lunch at my desk.... Luncho Al Desko...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    As Willowtree said, I've met people at 'Meet and Greets' and always had a great time... I think the Forumites are generally more 'open' people (not taking anything away from those who don't have the time that some of us do, or the interest in the social or informative aspect of these pages). Each to there own. We all have our situations. Although I would say that, meeting in person is definitely the very best way to get to know a person in as quick a time as can be expected. You may get some clues on the Forum as to the type of person someone is, but it may simply be impressions that aren't really reflecting much about who they are and what their ideals and values are... Nor how friendly they are. We simply don't write the way we speak and we don't act in public the way we may in a written communication. The best thing about meeting in person is that you get to hear and see the 'person' and not just a picture and some 'often hastily' written words. The most satisfying comment that was ever made to me at a 'Meet and Greet' was that I actually 'look' like my pictures and everyone on the forums knew exactly who I was. That can't be said about the Forums. We really don't REALLY know who we're dealing with until we actually meet face to face. I prefer to think that the vast majority are genuine and honest when it comes to appearances and what's posted in profiles...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Much better than all you can eat buffet vending machine though lily

  • PatchworkGirl

    PatchworkGirl

    9 years ago

    Mostly people that I've met in person after extended online chats, or getting fo know them via forums, have lived up to the opinions I've formed of them. There has been an occasional person who has surprised me, but mostly I haven't found anyone to be terribly different from how they present online. That is, of course, based on numerous online chats or posts, not just one-off. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    my time was limited because of work commitments , but within that time , I got to meet some fellow forumite's face to face.. In that time , those I meet left me with mixed feelings.. I'm always big on first impressions, and while some live up to how I imagined them to be , others were more reserved. Not judging btw, just think some members are more confident behind the screen than in front... That's what makes us who we are...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Most of the regular forumites that I have met have been as outgoing in real life as they are with their on-line personas. But a few have also been much 'quieter/shyer' than I would have expected. I definitely fall into the latter category. I post pretty often and usually have something to say on most topics, but in large social gatherings I am a wall flower for sure. I suffer quite badly from social anxiety, and I'm an introvert at the best of times, so I'll hang back till I find my comfort zone. And sometimes I'll just disappear altogether :). As a result I might give the impression that I'm snobby or stuck up. I'm not, it's just that smaller groups are just easier and less stressful for me :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    ... I think that the real personality shows through .... if they comment on enough issues .....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Yet don't really know them until the wake up call!!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Astrild' Most of the regular forumites that I have met have been as outgoing in real life as they are with their on-line personas. But a few have also been much 'quieter/shyer' than I would have expected. I definitely fall into the latter category. I post pretty often and usually have something to say on most topics, but in large social gatherings I am a wall flower for sure. I suffer quite badly from social anxiety, and I'm an introvert at the best of times, so I'll hang back till I find my comfort zone. And sometimes I'll just disappear altogether :). As a result I might give the impression that I'm snobby or stuck up. I'm not, it's just that smaller groups are just easier and less stressful for me :) By nature, I'm a shy person very much in the beginning. Something I've been since I was a kid. My mother maintains I never spoke till I was 12... LOL. Something I've had to 'outwardly' overcome because of business (when working in roles that required communicating at many levels) and also when on stage in front of hoards of strangers. But, when I have one or two people at my side, that I know, I'm fine. One would think as a former musician, I might be an extrovert... NO. The largest crowd I found myself singing and playing to was 10,000 and I had a ball, BUT I had my four mates up there with me. Had I not, I would have frozen. But I was fine. All I've ever needed to be confident in person, is one (preferably more, but one will do) person whom I know well and can rely on not to allow that dreaded 'AWKWARD SILENCE' befalling a conversation. I've taken or arranged to meet someone I know at each Meet & Greet' I've been to. Just an aside, but a lot of people can mistake 'shyness' for ignorance (i.e. not being good enough to talk to, or mistaking that you don't see them as interesting enough)... It's a shame. They only need to take 5 minutes for me to get comfortable, as many have found at the 'Meet & Greets' .

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Seeing I hung out with you a fair bit at the brissy m@g weekend , I would never have put you in the wall flower catagory. You were extremely easy to chat to and a lovely person to spend time with.And very much like your forum persona.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Thank you... that means so much to me because I was so nervous at M&G. And I'm looking forward to heading over east next month, and catching up with you & a few others when I FINALLY finish up at work... roll on 31 October! 😀

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I'm in your face a bit on here and quite crass...I'll make you gag without getting my cock near you.... Face to face though shit gets very real....I still think what I type, and it constantly ticks over in my head... But the context of meeting is also quite important...as DG said; circumstances and environment usually determines people's behaviour.... - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Cant wait for your Brissy visit. Will be great to see you. Im sure the other girls will be keen for a get together.

  • hotdigettydam2

    hotdigettydam2

    9 years ago

    I am usually fairly quiet and reserved i think, it depends on the people i am around.. not sure how i come across online.

  • Insomnian

    Insomnian

    9 years ago

    Is mostly dependant on the amount of posts. I believe there is this online persona most people seem to have, but seeing their attitude and answers to threads can lead to a more precise idea as to who they really are. I still think that at the end of the day, getting to know some one really needs to be real... I've face to face.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    You said exactly what I was thinking! I will post again on Sunday (or Monday, hangover pending) after I meet a few more awesome rhp people. lilyorchid, you best make good on that pash promise! ! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    Geez pressure... putting lip balm on and popping in some minties.. Geez, things we do to get a certificate of authentication!!! Trying to get the 'Best Straight Girl Pash' certificate... That'll go in the Pool room. See you Saturday night...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    To those ladies talking about Pashing (I asked recently if that was the up to date term... I have my answer... Thank you). The couple of M&G's I've been to have been a bit of a 'Pash Fest". At the first one, in 2014, it seemed that a Pash was the accepted way to say Hello, after being introduced. Having arranged to meet a good friend at both, the second, this year, although being short on numbers for some reason, was still a great night. My friend introduced me to her lady friend and that ended in a Three-way Hello... My point... I don't think there's any need to make arrangements or organise prior to the night, for a Pash... It's the way many say Hi... A very nice, safe and enjoyable way to meet someone... :-) - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Are you not coming to the sun downer? - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I'm quiet as a moouse and not very outgoing...I tend to keep to myself at social functions.

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    I will. Will try to get there after all ky commitments. About 6:30

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'willowtree_2' Seeing I hung out with you a fair bit at the brissy m@g weekend , I would never have put you in the wall flower catagory. You were extremely easy to chat to and a lovely person to spend time with.And very much like your forum persona. Goes to show .. Astrild, you say you felt quite shy , yet willow found you pleasant and nice person to be around. I think we all have some self doubts, but the proofs in the pudding once it's all out there...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    There's a few who can now attest I'm even more obnoxious in person I even called HunniB a bitch...but only once

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    There's a few who can now attest I'm even more obnoxious in person I even called HunniB a bitch...but only once

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    There's a few who can now attest I'm even more obnoxious in person I even called HunniB a bitch...but only once

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Jack_Denials' There's a few who can now attest I'm even more obnoxious in person I even called HunniB a bitch...but only once And who are yhou referring to? lol

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    during the Perth weekend, it was great to put names to faces and rhp avatars, people you chat to online. Most have come up good in my mind as we form ideas in our mind of what the people are like before we meet them. And I was right. Most were just wonderful and made the weekend in Perth memorable. Only 1 person did not live up to expectation to their online persona,. big diff and not in a good way. but I did not let that get in the way of a good time as the good far outweighed the bitter impression this person left. but the positive spin is that we then know who to avoid now we see that in real life.

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'The_3somes' I'm quiet as a moouse and not very outgoing...I tend to keep to myself at social functions. you are such a great couple... thanks for the big hugs... and the big welcome you are as true to your online persona.... warm, straight talking and engaging. very funny. xxx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'lilyorchid' Quoting 'Jack_Denials' There's a few who can now attest I'm even more obnoxious in person I even called HunniB a bitch...but only once And who are yhou referring to? lol I'm not referring to anyone in particular...but you do know I'm right don't you

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Jack_Denials' Quoting 'lilyorchid' Quoting 'Jack_Denials' There's a few who can now attest I'm even more obnoxious in person I even called HunniB a bitch...but only once And who are yhou referring to? lol I'm not referring to anyone in particular...but you do know I'm right don't you No, i did not find you obnoxious at all. You were lovely to chat to, you were very welcoming and warm to me. good for laughs. dont sell yourself short. xxx

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    But I guess it's the law of averages..Not everyone is going to flat our boat,but don't let it spoil the wonderful weekend for you hugs xxFreya

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Freya70' But I guess it's the law of averages..Not everyone is going to flat our boat,but don't let it spoil the wonderful weekend for you hugs xxFreya Thank you dear. I wont. Best I got to see things for myself and the best memories of those lovely people certainly overshadowed the bad bits. The thing is that it was witnessed by many not just myself and sad thing to see. But hey, ALL Perth people I met rock. made lots of good friends with the warm people of Perth. Best thing is that I have forged strong friendship with some Peth locals and a few interstaters I have just met and reinforced some existing friendships. What else can I ask for? I am blessed.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I myself am a bit of a dag in the chat room... And can be quite in person.. Until I am relaxed then the room rah comes out... I don't think I'm a fake person... I am who I am... - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'MzRanni' I myself am a bit of a dag in the chat room... And can be quite in person.. Until I am relaxed then the room rah comes out... I don't think I'm a fake person... I am who I am... - Posted from rhpmobile You are a beautiful person. very attractive Nordic looking beauty whose sensitivity and kindness radiates. I met you and was drawn to you and glad we hang around each other when i was in Perth over the weekend. you opened your heart and arms to me without hesitation and was always with a ready smile for me. thank you. It means a lot to me. Your are no dag, well, no bigger a dag than I am... just a taller dag.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Take posters at face value, and over time if they are not genuine I'll start to see little inconsistencies in what they say. It's hard not to slip up when you're pretending to be something you're not, even more so when you message with the person. I find people reveal a lot more in private.A French woman messaged me ages ago, who messed up her "native" language almost immediately. The truth tends to really come out when meeting someone in person though. When you're not able to think about every word carefully like you can online, and are face-to-face for hours instead of ten minutes at a time you have to be a pretty good manipulator to pull it off. Unfortunately going by the number of people saying they only found out the truth after knowing someone for a while (guy was married, woman was a sociopath) there are plenty of good liars out there. Long story short: Yes you can learn a lot, especially by reading between the lines. But you can never know for sure.