M50
Open Relationship - How to Stop the Train?
February 23 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Dude. Pandora's box is open. Some of the things I've seen cannot be removed by burning out my eyes. I am forever tainted. My innocence has been expunged. I came to this conclusion recently while pissing on someone. There simply is no going back now. However, we all still have choices. We can choose to be monogamous. Sure rooting a variety of people is entertaining and sometimes rewarding, and occasionally very good for one's ego, and it's not so difficult to do either, but sometimes facing difficulty makes us happier people. What's the reward in rooting all these women? Will you be happier, or will it make no difference? What's the reward in not rooting all these women? Which option, long term, will make you happier? You will notice that I am taking a selfish perspective here.... the question that each of us has to ask, is what will make ME happier.... Sometimes short term gains are just what you need, but for the most part, its the long term gains that give you a better sense of self... a foreseeable future, rather than a day in, day out routine, where your only thought is where will I get my next fuck.These kinds of considerations are maybe not meant for you... but your question is a reasonable one for each of us to ask ourselves. HUgsGaz
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RHP User
13 years ago
QUOTE: Could I ever be in a normal, non multiple partner relationship.' and i would always waver and say, 'probably, one day' but confronted again with 'foregoing all others' is a hard pill to swallow"...UNQUOTE When you stumble across the riter partner to journey on with...then this will be a given...you will just know and so will she..and hopefully you can explore all the possibilities out there....TOGETHER..but meanwhile enjoy all that the journey has to offer you as a solo traveler......the view can be pretty awesome when your on your own...no distractions by anyone constantly asking "" Äre we there yet ? Äre we there yet ?"
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RHP User
13 years ago
i started to read it and then i got Bored so go with blue chip shares and sell the pool table if you dont use it at least once a week ..Invest Cautiously And as for the hair cut it only looks wrong at first ..Sorry hoped that helped
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RHP User
13 years ago
Stalky, your post, copied below, is my fave ever post. It takes a lot of life experience and a lot of depth of character to provide that kind of answer. It was a pleasure to read, thanks for posting. Quoting 'Stalky' Dude. Pandora's box is open. Some of the things I've seen cannot be removed by burning out my eyes. I am forever tainted. My innocence has been expunged. I came to this conclusion recently while pissing on someone. There simply is no going back now. However, we all still have choices. We can choose to be monogamous. Sure rooting a variety of people is entertaining and sometimes rewarding, and occasionally very good for one's ego, and it's not so difficult to do either, but sometimes facing difficulty makes us happier people. What's the reward in rooting all these women? Will you be happier, or will it make no difference? What's the reward in not rooting all these women? Which option, long term, will make you happier? You will notice that I am taking a selfish perspective here.... the question that each of us has to ask, is what will make ME happier.... Sometimes short term gains are just what you need, but for the most part, its the long term gains that give you a better sense of self... a foreseeable future, rather than a day in, day out routine, where your only thought is where will I get my next fuck.These kinds of considerations are maybe not meant for you... but your question is a reasonable one for each of us to ask ourselves. HUgsGaz
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RHP User
13 years ago
...but after all the evil was let loose the only thing left inside it was hope. And now that you're feeling all warm and fuzzy try to remember that sex is not a relationship, it's just a part of one. All be it a really important, fun, physical, squelchy part...
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RHP User
13 years ago
If the relationship is over I don't see why you can't continue to see others. Seems a waste to me but it's only for a month. One day you may meet a lady who overwhelms your senses to the point where you lose the desire to be with anyone else and she is the same with you. Or you could meet your soulmate who has the same interest in seeing others and you are happy together. Or you just may stay single, play the field and have a damn good time doing it. Relax, have fun and don't worry what others think. They're probably just jealous anyway.
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wannabyummymummy
13 years ago
OK so you say that it is an amicable split and basically you are only still living together until your lease is up, question, are you two still sleeping together??? your relationship status on your profile says single?????If you are truly broken up and it is all over then i dont see what right she has to make demands on you in terms of who you see/sleep with after all come the end of the lease you are going your separate ways and you can see whomever you wish. Having said that if you still care for her (even as friends) I guess it is considerate to respect her wishes and not flaunt it around in her face but really it is not cheating on her if your relationship is over (see my confusion here?)As for your question "Could I ever be in a normal, non multiple partner relationship" I think that will depend on who you end up with, for all you know the next lady you meet might be just as into an open relationship as you are and it might all work out rosy, however as the wise stalky pointed out there really is no going back sometimes. When my husband and I came on here over 2 years ago we thought we would 'give it a go' but never really thought it would be something long term now we can't really imagine not!! we have met some of the nicest people, experienced some of the best sex (not just with others but with each other as well)and generally have had a blast for us I don't think we could ever go back but also having said that I can't predict the future (crystal ball is broken ) and if the day comes where we are at risk of our relationship being threatened then absolutely we would walk away and go back to being exclusive.At the end of the day you need to decide for yourself what is going to make you happy and search for that, if being with just one person is not part of that then look for someone to share, you wouldn't be the first person to find someone like that here Good LuckWBYM
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RHP User
13 years ago
Stalky - I never got the the rooting a goat picture, on google images. I actually read abut him and thought it was a cool name. But as he roots goats, I'll have to change some of my fantasy settings :P I would insert the sound of a worried goat, but not sure what that sound, sounds like. Berrrrr... Wowwowowoww you just sound like a total douche. If my sentences had too many big words, perhaps you should stick to looking at the pretty pictures of the naked ladies! But perhaps you're like Stalky, a funny bugger who gets taken way too seriously so, i'll retract the douche comment until we get to know each other better. As for the lovely ladies who responded. We do sleep in the same bed, but sex has fallen away. Too much pressure from the real world and she told me last night that her libido is dead. Which let's face it, hell must have frozen over! But to answer your question I'm respecting the relationship while i'm still living here. And that means right now, no play time for the old goat shagger! Berrrr -And some more news ON the name I took - to remove any goat references! Sculptures of Priapus with large, ithyphallic genitalia were placed in gardens and fields to guarantee an abundant crop. For the Romans, his statue was used as a scarecrow and his erect penis was thought to frighten thieves. Epigrams collected in Priapeia show Priapus using sodomy as a threat toward transgressors of the boundaries he protected like a herm:"I warn you, my lad, you will be sodomised; you, my girl, I shall futter; for the thief who is bearded, a third punishment remains.""... If I do seize you . . . you shall be so stretched that you will think your anus never had any wrinkles."I think that would be a great title for my RHP profile!!!!! I wonder if i would get many flirts and messages :P P
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RHP User
13 years ago
People who make demands of their partners and friends do so out of insecurity i think?It seems odd that she suddenly wants to make demands when a break-up is in the offing. Was it you that initiated the breakup?As for the manogomy thing. I really don't think there is a general rule here. I've never swung, but some of my past partners I could have imagined being in a polygamous relationship with, other's no way. Interestingly I think the former applies to the Women I felt most connected with. Strange that?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Angelic2011' Stalky, your post, copied below, is my fave ever post. It takes a lot of life experience and a lot of depth of character to provide that kind of answer. It was a pleasure to read, thanks for posting. Quoting 'Stalky' Dude. Pandora's box is open. Some of the things I've seen cannot be removed by burning out my eyes. I am forever tainted. My innocence has been expunged. I came to this conclusion recently while pissing on someone. There simply is no going back now. However, we all still have choices. We can choose to be monogamous. Sure rooting a variety of people is entertaining and sometimes rewarding, and occasionally very good for one's ego, and it's not so difficult to do either, but sometimes facing difficulty makes us happier people. What's the reward in rooting all these women? Will you be happier, or will it make no difference? What's the reward in not rooting all these women? Which option, long term, will make you happier? You will notice that I am taking a selfish perspective here.... the question that each of us has to ask, is what will make ME happier.... Sometimes short term gains are just what you need, but for the most part, its the long term gains that give you a better sense of self... a foreseeable future, rather than a day in, day out routine, where your only thought is where will I get my next fuck.These kinds of considerations are maybe not meant for you... but your question is a reasonable one for each of us to ask ourselves. HUgsGaz Couldn't agree more Angelic :) Makes me wish there was a *like* button.
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RHP User
13 years ago
actually I've wanted to thumbs up quite a few posts here. that would be a great addition RHP coders??
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RHP User
13 years ago
So her libido is dead as she bluntly told you. Dead because of her upcoming move. Dead with you. Dead because she's on medication. Dead because she's carrying another mans child. Dead 'cos she's bored. For whatever reason. Dead. And yet she wishes for you to be monogamous when all you're doing is sharing a piece of furniture ( the bed ) and the rest of the household items before you move out.You obviously sound like you want to maintain your human, sexual side. There seems to be no feelings, sexual or anything between you two. It's a no-brainer: sleep in separate rooms until move-out date and share your bed, back seat of your car, hotel room bed, whatever with someone who gives a f*** about f****** you. It sounds absurd, your situation. Or get a blow-up doll that doesn't boss you around. You know, the non-battery operated, silent kind. Some of them talk in a monotonous way: "Ooh baby, you're so huge"
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RHP User
13 years ago
I had to meet you here today, there's just so many things to say. Please don't stop me till I'm through. This is something I have to do. . We been meeting here so long, guess what we done...oh so wrong. Understand me, won't you try.. . Lets just kiss and say goodbye
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wannabyummymummy
13 years ago
Quoting 'LittleRedEngine' actually I've wanted to thumbs up quite a few posts here. that would be a great addition RHP coders?? (you mean like this?) lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
Priopus, you need a holiday. There's this great little spot in Sydney called Aarows where I'm sure I can pursuade you to give up your overtly promiscuous ways, if not, then embrace the slut within. A weekend at Aarows with Stalky. lmfao. That's the ticket big guy. Bring the little lady and we can group hug on completion of the stalky cognitive therapy program. You get a certificate on completion and a year's supply of rawliegh's man and beast. :) Hugs Gaz
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Mr_MrsJones
13 years ago
I was walking down the aisle in my white dress with everyone watching me. I saw Mr Jones waiting for me and I thought. Fuck I will NEVER have sex with anyone else for the rest of my life! Of course I didn't run away (although I did give it serious consideration.) Many times during our marraige I told him that I wouldn't be stressed if he went out and fucked someone else because I knew he would come home to me. How I knew this I don't know, I just did. I never seriously considered another partner except for once much later in the piece and that oddly enough was one of the catalysts for us ending up here!! I guess on some level we were always headed towards non-monogamy because we both believed in it. However it wasn't a condition of the marraige if that makes sense. Our focus was finding the right person and then having a great sex life. I am thinking if sex is is the number one consideration in your relationship then you might need to have a look at your priorities. Sex is fun, a marraige without sex is very bad but if everything in the marraige is dictated by sex then the marraige is definitely not healthy.
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RHP User
13 years ago
just dont settle for a Muggle partner.. :) seriously, why commit BOTH of you to 1 partner , when you know sharing is so much more fun? lifes too short for boring Find someone on the same PATH...not behind you B
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xFunlovingx
13 years ago
That your partner would come on here and give her side of the story....You are not painting her in a good light and she is a wonderful caring person with a heart of gold!! xFunlovingx
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wannabyummymummy
13 years ago
Quoting 'xFunlovingx' That your partner would come on here and give her side of the story....You are not painting her in a good light and she is a wonderful caring person with a heart of gold!! xFunlovingx True we only have one side of the story and that side in itself is a little hard to follow. I am a firm believer in the fact that there are 3 sides to every story, his, hers and the truth!!It is always sad when relationships break up and things can get ugly but I for one never really thought he deliberately bagged her or made her sound bad i think that we just perhaps didn't think about the flip side to the story, for said lady involved i am sorry.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Stalky i'm happy to let my beautiful loving wonderful caring, heart of gold lady friend know of your invite. You've got our number (seriously we don't have yours) :P The point of my post was not to score points, I'm not sure how I painted her in a bad light? or bagged her out? The point of the post was to say could i be monogamous? The TRUTH is ... I've been requested to stop the 'open' side of the relationship as we are winding down and have returned to the Muggle world. I get the reasons why and it's been discussed. There is nothing wrong in what she has asked, but the post wasn't about that. While we are still living together for the sake of the kids, each other and the fact we are great friends, we are in a relationship. I'll respect the new terms no matter how dull and limp it makes me feel. When i move out we will not be in an item. But that doesn't mean party time. I'm seriously considering a monastical lifestyle for a bit, just chill out and be single, perhaps go and meditate for a week with the Buddhists. Bloody hell, these forums really do go off track! Interestingly on a side note. I had no views on this new profile for a while until i posted this. As soon as i post in the forums 39 views and two messages. Okay one was 'site admin' but that counts! If i was allowed to be shagging random sex bombs I would be well happy :P It's because you know i'm unavailable you kinky mares :P P
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RHP User
13 years ago
Lolz. You had me at Hello and you know it. Cheeky bastard! Plus my number is listed in the white pages and the yellow pages. :) Btw, I never once considered that you were painting your gorgeous lady friend in a bad light... Mostly I feel disappointed and rather sad about the developing circumstances and, for what it's worth, hope you can both work it out. Hugs Gaz
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xFunlovingx
13 years ago
I do not think that the OP did bag her out at all. I just worded it wrong as some of the posts made me angry and it was how people were perceiving her that I found not right about the whole post! People really need to read posts with an open mind and not always think negatively of the "other" person in question...on ANY post, not just this one! xFunlovingx
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wannabyummymummy
13 years ago
Mis-read what you meant funloving.I think the problem is that the OP wasnt EXACTLY clear on the question and some people just took the wrong track, hopefully he has now clarified the situation and people can focus on answering the question at hand
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RHP User
13 years ago
Well I think because your situation is ending and is still amicable and all these things you have decided on jointly to do or not to do.....etc...etc that.. by not seeing anyone else in the up coming 4 weeks isn't much to ask, if you can end something amicably, why not end it in a lovely , respecting each other type manner, by not rushing off to sleep with others...there'll be plenty of time for that afterwards. . Most likely no, you won't be able to go straight into a monogamous relationship, and will have to search a bit harder to find the one who is just right for you.... . I also think that it was your wording of "shocked into monogamy" that lead a few posters into thinking you were being made to do it......it does kinda come across that way when reading it. Best of luck in the future and may you both find someone who will be all that you want and more xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'wannabyummymummy' Quoting 'LittleRedEngine' actually I've wanted to thumbs up quite a few posts here. that would be a great addition RHP coders?? (you mean like this?) lol but on the actual quote. not down the list in my ramblings.but i do see your point
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