F47
Open Relationships
June 25 2014
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
I could never do it, I am not sure how others do. Wish I could be more open minded like that but being a Taurean I am possessive and jealous. I don't like to share and I would like to think that I am good enough on my own and even though nobody has been able to keep up with me sexually, I still wouldn't invite someone into my relationship for it. Good luck to those who do though, at least they are honest with each other and even though I couldn't do it, I admire those who can.
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Karak122
10 years ago
I am more than happy to share the sex part but it's if more emotional side. My previous partner was happy to do open but was shit at the communication side. Couldn't get though his head that long as I was top priority and I got told. Could sleep and do whatever wanted. He was leading a few women down the garden path!
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm all for them at this stage in my life. - Posted from rhpmobile
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him_and_me
10 years ago
There's a book I'm reading at the moment called Opening Up by Tristan Taormino (sp?) that explores various versions of non-monogamy. It's not advocating it or trying to turn people away she just discusses variations. I'm not done reading it yet but I think basically what I've got from it so far is that anything 'can' work with the right people, communication is key and that for some people (like Ralf, I guess) it's just not the right thing. Non-monogamy is not a better or worse decision than monogamy, you have to do what works for you and your partner/s. x Me - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Anything can work with anybody... You just need to find the right mind/body combination for you... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
10 years ago
You were the 3rd, 4th or last cog in your partners wheel.You know this, so why ask the question?
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JohnAnn2227
10 years ago
Open relationships worked well for us for a few years. Now that we have kids and they are quickly growing up it is not really possible or at least not to the extent that we had before. Was definitely fun at the time though!
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm the same - ralf74, i don't like sharing & think i'm more than enough on my own. I'm greedy & want a guy's cock all for me.. Communication & honesty is wot its all about thou. Something a lot of guys lack. My last partner was on rhp behind my back for a very long time saying he was single & looking to play.. Wish he could have told me that.. I thot we were in a relationship..maybe id have came round to the idea of playing with him. (MMF) lol.. More cock for me. But if it works for u then gr8.. Just stay true & honest.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Talk , talk then talk some more So very true We all can have a lot of fun so long as everyone is honest with them selves that has worked well for us anyway - Posted from rhpmobile
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totallygenuine
10 years ago
Well it definitely has worked for me over the years (2-4years and still going) being that extra guy (I am straight as well) with couples. Catching up with the wives or girlfriends of the couples with 1 on 1 meets. I guess it all comes down to trust and communication. TG.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Extend your trading times so the other open end has less time to stray. They may commit by default.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Not some thing we would ever think of doing,As a couple every thing we do is done together.
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RHP User
10 years ago
It really depends on the reason for the open relationship, there are sooooo many different reasons. Some reasons will make the relationship stronger while others may gradually tear it apart & others will just be neutral . Couples with open relationships can tend to have a greater amount of trust, openness, honestly & communication then other couples. We are able to communicate our desires & trust that our partner will not judge us for it. They may or may not agree with it, but it opens up the conversation with out the fear of breaking up because someone has expressed a desire & it is then a matter of coming to an agreement/compromise. Please note I said "can tend" not "do have" as there are regular relationships that have that trust etc.
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Karak122
10 years ago
I'm asking as I am open to it but not seen it work ..doesn't mean its not possible - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Karak122' I'm asking as I am open to it but not seen it work ..doesn't mean its not possible - Posted from rhpmobile Yes it's possible and of course it works. I mean at the end of the day how many traditional relationships work for the long haul?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'Karak122' I'm asking as I am open to it but not seen it work ..doesn't mean its not possible - Posted from rhpmobile Yes it's possible and of course it works. I mean at the end of the day how many traditional relationships work for the long haul? Many traditional relationships work for the long haul,We are a prime example Meeka,just ask Brae & Sarah
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RHP User
10 years ago
Right on the button. Straight shooter observation. Neat.T.E.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Honesty and trust makes it work. With out it there is nothing. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'BellaRH' Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'Karak122' I'm asking as I am open to it but not seen it work ..doesn't mean its not possible - Posted from rhpmobile Yes it's possible and of course it works. I mean at the end of the day how many traditional relationships work for the long haul? Many traditional relationships work for the long haul,We are a prime example Meeka,just ask Brae & Sarah Excuse me! You are not in a traditional relationship at all! I am was talking about the completely monogamous couples. They don't go to swingers clubs...... in fact they hardly know they exist. The muggles. I was just trying to say that an open relationship has as much chance of working as a monogamous one. It all depends on the people.
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JohnAnn2227
10 years ago
I totally agree with you Meeka. We have had an open relationship in the past and we are as strong as ever. In the same time 3 of our friends (Muggles!!! LOL!) split or divorced. Common theme was poor communication and no intamacy. Look if the open relationship is one-sided or an attempt to remedy a problem in the relationship then yes chances are that the relationship will fail. But if the open relationship is for fun, is fully agreed to and supported by both partners then in our case it can work. I used to get so turned on hearing about John's date or who he had picked up the night before that it always lead to fantastic sex for us. Likewise for him. We would still be actively doing this if it was not for the kids getiing older.
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RHP User
10 years ago
hubby and I are totally committed to each other and we have gone through a lot - enough to break the most committed relationship. We have excellent communication and everything in our life is *almost* perfect. The only thing that isn't perfect is one has a higher libido than the other - hence why we are here.
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RHP User
10 years ago
As long as I can remember, I've heard that it's all about communication and compromise. But a comment from a friend, who's in an open (or, more correctly, polyamorous) relationship with her husband in which they both see other people and have done for years: she said that being polyamorous meant she never had to compromise in sexual matters because they each have other outlets for whatever those things might be. Blew my tiny mind, it did.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I don't think I can have a polyamorous open relationship but can have a non-polyamorous open relationship. It is all about the sex for me (and hubby too) when we swing. We definitely do not want any emotional side coming into play. Quoting 'AllWorkNeedsPlay' As long as I can remember, I've heard that it's all about communication and compromise. But a comment from a friend, who's in an open (or, more correctly, polyamorous) relationship with her husband in which they both see other people and have done for years: she said that being polyamorous meant she never had to compromise in sexual matters because they each have other outlets for whatever those things might be. Blew my tiny mind, it did.
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totallygenuine
10 years ago
Well it definitely has worked for me over the years (2-4years and still going) being that extra guy (I am straight as well) with couples. Catching up with the wives or girlfriends of the couples with 1 on 1 meets. I guess it all comes down to trust and communication. TG.
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RHP User
10 years ago
There are no "rules" for swinging or open relationships, so the thing is you need to do it the way it works for you. We view swinging, or sex as a past time. Like golf or fishing. If your partner liked fishing but you didn't then it wouldn't work if they went fishing all the time or forced you to go along.You need to be on the same emotional plane as your partner and want to do these things for the same reason.If you connect sex with love then it probably wont work for you. Me finding a partner to have sex with is like going to the pub for a beer with your mate. I need to like the person and enjoy their company but I don't want to marry them or see them every single day. I just want to share a common passion with them, which happens to be sex, not pub beers!I like to know that my wife can enjoy "a beer at the pub" also. If it's not effecting our sex life negatively then it's not a problem.
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RHP User
10 years ago
If a large number of 'traditional relationships' end in divorce due to one or both 'cheating', then that same relationship may have survived if it was an 'open relationship' with honest, open and trusted communication. If the relationship was great apart from the 'cheating' then an open relationship with open honesty and good communication may have saved an otherwise perfectly good relationship. Each to their own. Throughout history monogamous relationships were not necessarily the norm as they are today....although today its more the illusion of monogamy, as can be seen on this site with the amount of married people looking for fun (we are not judging that). So why not just be open about it rather than sneak around - surely that's better for all in the relationship !?
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RHP User
10 years ago
been in an open relationship before, But it did not workout well as my partner became too open and turned into a male Wh**e. so we had to end it
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Sonia84' been in an open relationship before, But it did not workout well as my partner became too open and turned into a male Wh**e. so we had to end it You both have to be doing it for the right reason. Your partner was not! You can't simply "Make it work".. It has to be something you both understand and want on the same level.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Love playing with open honest couples :) then again I'd love a lone playmate as we'll
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RHP User
10 years ago
Im not in a relationship so this is kind of out of my zone but I think couples that are in a proper relationship can make this work aslong as theres trust and loyalty. If they play together and not alone and aslong as its only physical and not emotional I cant see why it couldnt work, in the end of the day where all here to have fun!
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Enjoylifealways
10 years ago
Love my open relationship I am poly . Talking and telling each other everything is the only way to make it work.
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RHP User
10 years ago
This book was very interesting and thought provoking. As are most books we've read on swinging. Either they make sense to you though or they don't. It's always good to consider different perspectives, arm yourselves with information before undertaking any such way of life. That's where RHP and these forums are so great. After all, discussing this stuff with vanilla friends or family just will not work!! I do wonder how happy some of our monogamous friends really are sometimes as we certainly don't see signs of physical affection between them. If only society was more accepting of this lifestyle, then everybody would be doing it!! Communication between each other is the key! Not sure it would be the right thing to do in a new relationship though. As long as both partners needs were being met, that there was an understanding and respect between you and your partner and jealousy taken out of the equation (it's such a negative emotion that says more about your own inadequacies) I don't see why it couldn't work, especially with couples with miss matched libidos. In fact I think it could enhance long term relationships as long as all members of the dynamic were friends and in the loop at all times.
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SHWcouple
10 years ago
It can work as long as both are in it for the right reasons and those reason are understood. There is a lot to consider & discuss before going down this path, but then it all comes down to three things: love, trust, communication & respect. ( OK so that's 4 things;))
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RHP User
10 years ago
I agree. My husband and I have made it work for years... by understanding those reasons. Ultimately for us it has created such an amazing bond where we encourage each other to explore together and separately. Finding the right sexual candidates whether single or married is the difficult part, where the reasons for them are not the same. Quoting 'playtime_4_me' It really depends on the reason for the open relationship, there are sooooo many different reasons. Some reasons will make the relationship stronger while others may gradually tear it apart & others will just be neutral . Couples with open relationships can tend to have a greater amount of trust, openness, honestly & communication then other couples. We are able to communicate our desires & trust that our partner will not judge us for it. They may or may not agree with it, but it opens up the conversation with out the fear of breaking up because someone has expressed a desire & it is then a matter of coming to an agreement/compromise. Please note I said "can tend" not "do have" as there are regular relationships that have that trust etc.
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RHP User
10 years ago
My husband and I have an open relationship, and has worked for years... It is important if you have regulars that there is friendship.
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