M55
Open Reltationships....do they work?
May 17 2016
Comments
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Seachange
9 years ago
I have friends here who are either attached or married. They seem to make it.known work. based on what I have read here the female will get more attention here than the male of the couple. Good luck on your journey.
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Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
This is something that is very new to me, but I'm giving it a go. I think the key is honesty and communication. Traditional relationships haven't really worked for me in the past, so I have nothing to lose trying something different. Yes you will still have jealousies and insecurities and that's ok, hence why you need to be completely honest and communicate with each other. Good luck 💋
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RHP User
9 years ago
And yes they work! My primary relationship is with my husband, he's incredibly sexy to me, he gives me what I need. We opened our relationship up to explore new and different things but we both make sure the other knows they're the priority! The biggest challenge has been finding regular FWBs/lovers who teat me the way I want to be treated! I'm in a very good place at the moment and hubby understands that I form connections with people and he's not jealous of them ( we did have to work out issues initially, mine and his). He generally meets my friends and has liked most of them! Though I 'play' more than he does, I'd love him to find his own FWBs but that's his decision! When I'm with someone, they are 'it' for me! I do everything i can to make every encounter special! I expect the same in return. This has been the area I've struggled with the most! I've had people I've thought were friends turn out to be 'users'. Being with me meant that they could be exposed to new and different adventures, which I love sharing, but I need to feel important and valued when I'm with someone! Communication is the key for me, whether it's hubby or a friend! At times I'm brutally honest and that frightens people but I've been hurt before ( I should've been more honest/ forthright) so I've learnt to say how I feel :) In summary, don't lose sight of your primary relationship but treat every encounter with care, respect and courtesy (whatever that is, that you've established). It is after all with people we are sharing some very intimate moments! Mary xx
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rupamohan
9 years ago
I think if it is big enough for dick to enter it can work. Do have a check post at the opening. - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
The problem with an "open relationship " (seeing and sleeping with others, without one's partner) is that this leaves one open to becoming insecure and or jealous as one wonders what they have been getting up to etc. The jealousy & insecurity can lead to more problems which ultimately could have a negative impact on ones relationship & marriage. Why even take the risk, we ask ourselves? We therefore always ensure that if and when we play, that we are together in the same room and within arms grasp. That way we get to enjoy the moment together . It keeps things simple, open & honest.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Are a beautiful thing, but only work when both parties are secure within themselves. If the reason for seeking sex outside the relationship is because sex inside the relationship sucks, things may go pear shaped. The best open relationships I have witnessed, are based on love, respect, trust, and a mutual desire for the other persons happiness. They often play together, but due to family and /or life commitments it's easier for them to play separately. As stated above, honesty and communication are paramount. All potential partners and escapades must be discussed prior to and after the event, to ensure trust is maintained. Good luck on your journey!
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RHP User
9 years ago
We play together as a couple and openly and Mrs D gets way more attention and action just due to the nature of supply and demand on this site, it works for us as she has a greater desire for play particularly in the hot wife scenario and I join in for some fun when I choose. We both get extremely turned on after she's had a play and that is why we swing, to enjoy our sex life together even more, so it doesn't worry me if I'm "missing out" so to speak, as I'm not missing any pleasure. Communication is extremely important though as your mind can imagine things and jealously can raise it's head (it's happened to both of us). Have fun with your playmates by all means but always remember why you're doing it and that it's really all about your own partner and how it adds to your relationship and passion. My opinion anyway ;) Mr D
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'DynamicCouple36' The problem with an "open relationship " (seeing and sleeping with others, without one's partner) is that this leaves one open to becoming insecure and or jealous as one wonders what they have been getting up to etc. The jealousy & insecurity can lead to more problems which ultimately could have a negative impact on ones relationship & marriage. Why even take the risk, we ask ourselves? We therefore always ensure that if and when we play, that we are together in the same room and within arms grasp. That way we get to enjoy the moment together . It keeps things simple, open & honest. I think the only people who should attempt a "Open Relationship" are people who are completely happy with themselves and their relationship. They do work for many people like Hotwives who don't have those insecurities regardless of who gets what play. Anyone who has insecurities or will get jealous of one partner getting more play than the other simply should not do it.Being open and truthful about wants, needs, limits & boundaries is paramount before an open relationship starts, having been in this lifestyle for some 5 years now we have seen many couples attempt open relationships/swinging to fix their relationship hoping it would bring back spark or fix previous wrongs and failed.
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Seachange
9 years ago
Quoting 'Hotwives_Inc' And yes they work! My primary relationship is with my husband, he's incredibly sexy to me, he gives me what I need. We opened our relationship up to explore new and different things but we both make sure the other knows they're the priority! The biggest challenge has been finding regular FWBs/lovers who teat me the way I want to be treated! I'm in a very good place at the moment and hubby understands that I form connections with people and he's not jealous of them ( we did have to work out issues initially, mine and his). He generally meets my friends and has liked most of them! Though I 'play' more than he does, I'd love him to find his own FWBs but that's his decision! When I'm with someone, they are 'it' for me! I do everything i can to make every encounter special! I expect the same in return. This has been the area I've struggled with the most! I've had people I've thought were friends turn out to be 'users'. Being with me meant that they could be exposed to new and different adventures, which I love sharing, but I need to feel important and valued when I'm with someone! Communication is the key for me, whether it's hubby or a friend! At times I'm brutally honest and that frightens people but I've been hurt before ( I should've been more honest/ forthright) so I've learnt to say how I feel :) In summary, don't lose sight of your primary relationship but treat every encounter with care, respect and courtesy (whatever that is, that you've established). It is after all with people we are sharing some very intimate moments! Mary xx I think you and hubby have a really wonderful open relationship. some sort of a role model for me if I ever enter in a non-monogamous relationship. I am far from even considering a relationship at this point but I like what I see between your and your hubby. More power to you both. mwah
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've been in an open marriage for a few years now. As mentioned above, it takes great communication and trust. Talk about it lots before you commit to it. Come up with some ground rules and if either one of you isn't happy with a particular aspect then it doesn't happen.Keep talking about everything to do with it. You'll come up with more questions/issues as you progress into the realities of it all and your ground rules may change, but only if you're both 100% on board. As you can see from this forum, some are happy being open and playing alone (as we are) but others only play together. Neither is right or wrong, it's just whatever works for that couple. Some like to meet their partners lovers, others don't. If playing separately, accept the fact that the female is likely to get a LOT more attention than the male. Keep talking about it as it progresses and making sure that you're both still OK with the way it's heading. Oh and, talk about it some more :)
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RHP User
9 years ago
absolutely bang on the money
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Grouse33
9 years ago
I'm about to meet somebody in an open relationship. I'm single. This person seems to want a strong attachment, even if the primary aim is for play. Their partner does not want to be involved, and I dare say I won't ever meet or speak to them. Of course I have no way of knowing whether the relationship is open by mutual agreement (I've asked and been given assurances) but I've decided to trust what I'm told. I'm interested in the experiences of members of open relationships and the people who play with them. I think in many ways it could be a great arrangement for me to be a FWB (I want a connection and fun, not a partnership and there's other stuff going on for me in my life which is mine alone). How feasible is an arrangement like this, what are the potential pitfalls and what should I be looking out for? Cheers - Posted from rhpmobile
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tank__girl
9 years ago
But I have been on RHP for what 7-8 years now, and have met 100's of awesome people, and life long friends. If only you knew the amount of marriages that have broken up from living this lifestyle, including mine. I wouldn't. But, each to their own... And hooray for those who have thus far made it work for them!
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RHP User
9 years ago
I too know of people whose relationships have failed and I can blame 'swinging' but there's usually more than one reason for the breakdown (in their case). I can see the writing on the wall for a couple of friends, where one person develops feeling for another, forgetting their primary relationship! Another couple introduced swinging to 'save' their marriage! They had been living sepreately but have been swinging for two years, will it last, I doubt it! Their relationship has been rocky and continues to be, the foundations are unstable! As Uni pointed out, talk about things before and after, trust and communication are critical :) Mary xx
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zzzyyyxxx
9 years ago
seen some disasters in this space, even our own relationship took some damage when we weren't careful. tread carefully. all the best. xxx
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Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
Relationships are hard fucking work, whether they are open, poly or traditional. I been single for 8/9 years, because I couldn't get a traditional relationship to work for me, I've now found a man who was in the same boat, so we have decided to kept it open. Him being my primary partner, me being his, we both have different needs, things he can't give me, things I can't give him, don't get me wrong, what we share and do is wonderful and I love it, but I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting more. We talk about everything open and honestly, how we are feeling, our wants and needs, our expectations from each other, what we want together and separately. Yes we have rules, boundaries, hard limits and yes it's hard at times, but I know how he feels and he knows how I feel, we reconnect in a way that makes us stronger. 💋
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Lovinit28' Relationships are hard fucking work, whether they are open, poly or traditional. I been single for 8/9 years, because I couldn't get a traditional relationship to work for me, I've now found a man who was in the same boat, so we have decided to kept it open. Him being my primary partner, me being his, we both have different needs, things he can't give me, things I can't give him, don't get me wrong, what we share and do is wonderful and I love it, but I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting more. We talk about everything open and honestly, how we are feeling, our wants and needs, our expectations from each other, what we want together and separately. Yes we have rules, boundaries, hard limits and yes it's hard at times, but I know how he feels and he knows how I feel, we reconnect in a way that makes us stronger. 💋 FABULOUS... That is what we all need... and certainly it is what I seek. One to deliver what I need and I to deliver what she needs...
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Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
I think you're going to love him, he is a fine specimen, Dominant beyond words, I am an extremely lucky woman and I know he thinks he's an extremely lucky man. I will look forward to you and Andy meeting him.💋
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have seen relationships falter due to swinging. But in all those cases, they were swinging for the wrong reasons. There was issues prior to, they were exacerbated due to swinging, it's almost like they created a reason to separate! Open relationships, IMO and experience, are solid as fuck. Both are eager for the other person to explore, they have enthusiasm and enjoy hearing about their adventures, then their relationship gets stronger and stronger. To me, it is the ultimate act of love and respect to trust your partner to be be physically intimate with someone else!
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MadhattersCat
9 years ago
Open relationships can only work in the presence of nil jealousy. Some people have a strong jealousy trait some have a weak one. I would suggest that strong jealous traits are not well equipped for swinging. On the other hand !!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'happy_fun' Open relationships can only work in the presence of nil jealousy. Some people have a strong jealousy trait some have a weak one. I would suggest that strong jealous traits are not well equipped for swinging. On the other hand !! I believe jealousy can actually enhance any relationship. Sexually speakingTurning jealousy into desire,passion & hunger for your partner can only be a good thing for both imhoHaving said that, if you cant control anger jealousy you shouldn't be walking through the swinging door anyway.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Until you try it you'll never know if it is or isn't gonna work out for you. And once you've tried it may be too late to realise. But if you're gonna do it, just trust each other. The woman will be getting A LOT more attention from both the women. men and ESPECIALLY the couples who see an opening for their prize unicorn without having to deal with that hanger on known as the male of the species. If you can't handle the fact that many people will show their true colours and you will be looked at as a piece of furniture to many couples, or a chauffeur at best, then all good. Of course, it also gives you the opportunity to explore relationships on your own and though they won't be as easy to come across as those the women form, they are just as rewarding.My wife knows most of the women I've formed bonds with, and is good friends with some of them. I on the other hand don't really get all buddy with her FB's as its her thing and I have more than enough male friends. Every relationship is different, only you can make the choice.
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