M46 F46
Opinions: the line between full swap and soft swap?
March 26 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
Soft swap probably means no penetration. Some advice for you. Everyone interprets things different and has different rules. Even simply statements as Safe sex if required means different things to different people. Therefore you have to ask lots and lots of questions. There is no one correct answer and it is dangerous to assume that you have the same understanding as somebody else. Good luck!
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RHP User
10 years ago
for your response. I understand that you mean genital to genital penetration. So oral sex would be considered foreplay or soft swap? Is there a difference in the community between foreplay and soft swap or is it the same thing? - Posted from rhpmobile
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LifeUnscripted
10 years ago
Be clear and ask questions. As for the difference? In our experience it is generally penetration. The times we have soft swapped it is generally get naked, lots of kissing and oral sex, fingers etc, but just no cross couple penile penetration. Usually penetration with your own partner though. Generally in soft swap situations it tends to be mostly about the women playing together while men help things along from the side. :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I appreciate your advice and you sharing your experiences with us. Cheers - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I too, didn't know the meaning of "soft swap". My boyfriend told me that it meant "touching". We have never "played" with anyone else from RHP yet so it would be good to know what other Couples may expect. Amy
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usnow
10 years ago
We have always been amused by couples we have exchanged messages with in regard to not wanting to full swap .They find swapping for passionate kissing and erotic oral sex as ok but wont swap for intercourse .Don't you think that giving and receiving" full on" oral sex just as intimate if not more so than penetration ?Confuses us completely . Swingnew .
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RHP User
10 years ago
You're welcome! Lol! We haven't played yet either but have met a nice couple that understand we are very new. I just wanted to get an overall perspective from others in the lifestyle. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I am so new at this that I don't want to perform "oral sex" on another Couple; man or woman. I'm not sure whether my "other half" feels the same way too about "going down" on another woman. I definitely don't want to perform "fellatio" on another man !!! I only do it on the men that I love in my life. So this will most certainly turn away a great many Couples. If that is the case, so be it. Yes, we are concerned about STIs because my partner and I know that we are both "clean". In the end, we may not build up the courage to "play" with other Couples. Only time will tell. Amy
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LifeUnscripted
10 years ago
It is a funny arbitrary line isn't it? Sometimes oral can be more intimate than sex. And I don't know exactly why it feels different having penetrative intercourse over all the other things you can do, but it does. Maybe just a cultural thing. But yes generally intercourse is the main distinguisher between soft and full swap. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
there is the interpretation of full swap. For some it is swap and seperate rooms, for others it is same room, for others still it is as a group. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
thank you both for your opinions. I (mrs) personally feel the same in regards to oral and penetration. if you've got your face in someone's business you may as well finish the job. in some cases, people don't want to use protection with oral but want to swap back to their partners for penetration. so what then... do you get up and shower and brush your teeth to get back to your husband and he do the same? my opinion is that oral sex is part of a full swap. it, also, might limit our couple experience, but so be it. cheers guys for the feedback. sounds like we've had a newbie chat lol!
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RHP User
10 years ago
I played with a couple bout a year ago :) all was great and respect was shown by the 3 of us. Anyway at the start we discussed the rules and agreed on all... But one was forgotten in the chat. As she slid down into my cock I went to kiss her and she said I don't kiss other males just my man ? I respected that an we had a laugh after :)) point is no matter how simple or open the leading chats can be people (all of us) have the right to change without notice...
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Smilingwithfun
10 years ago
Swingnew that intercourse is too some the ultimate in sex as far as a relationship goes, so oral is ok. Also STD's are less likely to occur.
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RHP User
10 years ago
In our experience, soft swap is generally swapping for oral sex, as well as kissing (depending on the rules of the couple), touching etc. I'd reiterate the good advice about asking questions and setting rules...on our first swing experience (at a club), we didn't disclose any rules, despite being asked if we had any, and we were merrily engaged in what I like to call 'the circle of suck', and having a lovely time, when without warning, I got a finger rammed up my arse! I nearly hit the ceiling! But in fairness to the gent in question, noting I said we didn't have clear rules, he probably thought it was fair game ☺️. Lesson learned! Good luck, with the right and patient couple, you can have a fantastic ride. Inadditionto (Mrs). - Posted from rhpmobile
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nibblemebi
10 years ago
Quoting 'swingnew' We have always been amused by couples we have exchanged messages with in regard to not wanting to full swap .They find swapping for passionate kissing and erotic oral sex as ok but wont swap for intercourse .Don't you think that giving and receiving" full on" oral sex just as intimate if not more so than penetration ?Confuses us completely . Swingnew . Other than saving something as intimate as penetration as the something special for their primary partner, I believe one of the main benefits of this is eliminating the potential for a pregnancy to occur. Not everyone can abort, and well that is a reminder that no one would hope for! Do you still find it 'amusing'?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'nibblemebi' Other than saving something as intimate as penetration as the something special for their primary partner, I believe one of the main benefits of this is eliminating the potential for a pregnancy to occur. Not everyone can abort, and well that is a reminder that no one would hope for! Do you still find it 'amusing'? What the hell? Nibblemebi if you sleep with men with no condom or any other protection against pregnancy...... errr that is brave I suppose.
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nibblemebi
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'nibblemebi' Other than saving something as intimate as penetration as the something special for their primary partner, I believe one of the main benefits of this is eliminating the potential for a pregnancy to occur. Not everyone can abort, and well that is a reminder that no one would hope for! Do you still find it 'amusing'? What the hell? Nibblemebi if you sleep with men with no condom or any other protection against pregnancy...... errr that is brave I suppose. Assumptions are dangerous Meeka, where did I say that I slept with men without protection? Not likely. Have you never had a condom break before? I have, and while the result is now a beautiful little human, I was suggesting that this is one of those things couples in soft swaps may be considering when they prefer not to go for the full swap. Eliminating that stressful possibility. Last time I checked I had never heard of a pregnancy caused by a mouth or hands ;)
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RHP User
10 years ago
But seriously, some cpls are so complex on their rules its too confusing. Usually it seems to revolve around insecurities, who knows. All as we know it gets bloody hard work to please these types...so we wont interact with cpls who have endless rules weighted in their favour. To us, its about relaxed and sexy fun, hard or soft swap...just keep it simple. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
for your feedback. I (mrs) have appreciated the advice. It would seem that we will need more discussions on what we, personally and as a couple, agree is "our" soft and full swap. Cheers everyone for your thoughts. Lou. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
...it can be a challenge for couples to find other couples who they're not only both attracted to, but who are also compatible with them (assuming said couple is not on the spectrum of just finding a person to fuck - end of - and that's fine too, but easier I'd imagine). Just my thoughts Inadditionto (Mrs) - Posted from rhpmobile
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NudesRus
10 years ago
We totally agree with swing new. It amuses us that they are missing out on the best part of swapping. We don't get intimate with the people we play with but we do full swap all the same. You can only really be intimate with someone you love. The rest is going out and having a ball or two or three or four. Simple desire is correct in that the more rules the more confusing it gets and they probably are there to keep control of their partner. We have one rule and it's simple. Tarp up for intercourse. No grey area there so at the end of the night you can't get in trouble for breaking rule 54 subsection c paragraph 3.
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JohnAnn2227
10 years ago
In our experience we have found that most couples that we have been with consider soft swing to be kissing, touching and oral. Full swing is intercourse and sometimes anal. Best thing is to discuss boundaries first so noone gets offended by mistake. For us full swing has always been our prefernce right from the start of our swinging life.
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rupamohan
10 years ago
Quoting 'swingnew' We have always been amused by couples we have exchanged messages with in regard to not wanting to full swap .They find swapping for passionate kissing and erotic oral sex as ok but wont swap for intercourse .Don't you think that giving and receiving" full on" oral sex just as intimate if not more so than penetration ?Confuses us completely . Swingnew . Choices rarely have reasons that seems valid to all. Yes the choice of soft swap has amused us. But there is one universal reason I can think of. Many men don't get hard on easily with condom...and they have no other choice...lol Other reasons are there but personal and not universally valid.
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RHP User
10 years ago
simple_desires...........We totally agree and feel the same
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RHP User
10 years ago
I will never have vaginal penetration with anyone but my Husband. It's my decision and I am proud of it. I do love giving Oral to guys and occasionally with couples we connect with and feel comfortable with I will have Anal sex with the Guy it has nothing to do with intimacy it is just my preference. Unfortunately We are regularly turned down by couples because I do not want vaginal penetration so although Anal is a possibility I suppose we are classified as a soft swap couple.
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