F39
Overcoming Jealousy And Insecurities For Threesomes
November 02 2017
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
you feel like that, you may enjoy it, he won't. He'll probably end up playing alone without your knowledge. You can't control that so don't try. All it will do is make him feel confined and the extra/third person (or more) won't enjoy the experience either. All the couples who claim I and other singles aren't swingers lmao Being a swinger is about head space, complete freedom, and lack of ownership/jealousy. That's the vanilla world, no place for it here. This might sound harsh but face your fears head on and ask yourself what you're afraid of. You've partly answered that above, that he'll fall for someone else. You have no control over that so don't waste energy worrying about it. Take that energy and use it to learn to be turned on by him being with others. It's a conscious mental shift to let jealousy go. And the reason I wouldn't want to meet couples, that would really put me off my mojo
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MrPlayful
7 years ago
Rather than meeting a single for your first swinging experience, start with a couple. That way you both enjoy someone of the opposite sex at the same time and you’re on a level playing field, in the same room together etc. Discuss afterwards and build from there. Good luck and have fun!
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swingalingson
7 years ago
Do NOT do it! Let you in on a little secret. 😉Even the most experienced swingers, that you would think do not have insecurities, do have them before or in or after encounters. But I guess you do not know your full boundries unless you try. It sounds like your relationship between your man has hostory and strong. On the otherhand if you guys need a third an extra guy and agree for a mmf threesome...flirt me...cant blame me for being an opportunist🤖
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RHP User
7 years ago
Its confronting at first when your in love with them... but it depends how secure you are in your actual relationship. Will you be able to put stop to it during the sesssion if you’re feeling really uncomfortable. Do you have equal say in who the third person will be? Just curious, as you are the slave, so how much power do you really have?
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HotNightsGC
7 years ago
What do I wish to feel by sharing your man? Does your arousal by thinking about watching him with other women overtake your insecurities? Is the main reason you want to do this because you want to share this experience together? Is your bond and trust in part, the reason you’re both considering sharing each other? You have partly answered your own questions within your post. If you’re having feelings of fear and anxiety, and talking about it with your partner does not lessen the feelings, then perhaps you really aren’t ready for what sharing each other really entails. It’s not for everyone and it certainly shouldn’t be rushed if you’re not ready for it. Good luck. Ms HNP xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
in Terms of head space, if you take it from someone who has actually been swinging with a partner, I can say that it’s a learning process. Each time you swing you learn something more about yourself and your partner and what you are cool with and what you’re not cool with. Don’t let other people tell you how you should feel or how you should be, it’s an individual journey. That includes who ever you hook up with - don’t let them dictate how it should be either. Everyone needs to be ok with what’s happening. You have to be strong enough to speak up. I’ve been with some selfish swing partners in the past and because I’m easy going I ended up doing a lot of things I wasn’t really into, not bad things, they were alright and all.... but it highlighted to me how some people can be real arseholes when they get into a group. Lol. All part of the learning!!
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RHP User
7 years ago
so what I was trying to say above is, if you feel comfortable with the woman and like her, you know she’s going to be respectful before you get to the swinging part of it, then that really helps with feeling secure and good about the whole experience.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks everyone! It’s good to write my thoughts and fears down because these things you can’t always share with the ones you love... or in my case my master... I am definitely excited to explore boundaries and I’ve always wanted to explore what it would be like when we are both with a woman.. so my thoughts are if I’m confident and secure with myself then I have nothing to worry about it all about the thought process! For me personally that’s hard when we have been together for over a decade. Master is ready to explore of course and as his slave I don’t really have a say or to stop this happening. I want this to happen I do it’s just every little other thought in my head...that’s making me doubt this... I like the idea of finding a girl myself my my master ... I told master and he really was excited by it. As a slave I guess it’s one of my duties to find a suitable sub so that’s my next mission. If I’m comfortable with the other woman I don’t think I’ll feel this way it’s just fear of the unknown! Thanks again everyone for the advice it’s a learning process and it’s about exploration and pushing boundaries it doesn’t mean that we r going to break up and leave each other for the other person so instead of thinking negative about it I need to enjoy the pleasures it will bring!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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FredAndGinger2
7 years ago
Read this : The ESSENTIAL GUIDE for Adventurous Couples Chantelle Austin Chantelle Austin writes RHP blogs and this book is an excellent guide to have all the discussions you and your partner need to have and process in yourselves. Further: We have struggled emotionally for the same reasons mentioned, but only in 3somes. When with couples we have all the good side and nome of the negative concerns or emotions - but we choose our play friends carefully so that we feel equal atttaction and also see that the couple is swinging for the reasons we are. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Sawadee
7 years ago
I remember when I arranged a meet with a hung guy for my ex on her birthday... She was full on excited and insisted I be there for her safety. Now here's the funny part.. i had no problems watching her penetrated and enjoying the sex , in fact I found it a absolute turn on ' yet when they kissed ? It really made me feel uneasy ? Go figure ? I still scratch my head whenever I think of that ? Goes to show you gotta expect the unexpected.. and accept it...
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MsJonesy
7 years ago
I don't think you are ready...as an individual, nor as a couple. If you can't talk to him about your concerns then, as they say, it can end in tears. Boundaries should be discussed, reactions anticipated and discussed. I know M/s relationships are complex and boundaries are no longer something you can put in place. I'd be very interested to hear from any other M/s couples who have moved into other territories; how did it happen, what was discussed? And of course...was it successful?
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On_Safari
7 years ago
A good Master who loves you will listen to EVERYTHING you think and feel because you have GIFTED him your life, feelings and trust. There should be no secrets between any couple entering this realm EVER! Trust and honesty is everything.
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On_Safari
7 years ago
I understand how you feel....so will many others this has been discussed a lot on the forum at various times.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I think what gets the emotions running is that we were husband and wife before the m/s relationship began. He wanted to see me with another guy while he watched and that was agreed to and we found a guy and all that although yet to go through with it... then as soon as this m/s relationship started he found other subs and slaves online and started sexting them and telling them he loves them...all of a sudden... it was like one complete change to another. I was completely taken aback... I did confront him as a slave about it and he said that I was being selfish, unreasonable. Meaning I agreed to being with another guy without issues but if he does this with another girl I shouldn’t complain or refuse. Because he allowed me so I should allow him the same. HOWEVER the issue with me is I wouldn’t have started this without masters encouragement and there is a difference between me being comfortable with a guy and seeing him with a girl... we r 2 individual people and he shouldnt expect me to be so cool about all of a sudden... this was a complete shock to me and actually made me sick knowing he was fuking other subs online... I know it’s online and that they won’t ever meet but it’s the things he says to them... he loves them etc. I don’t like that at all... I voiced this and I got punished for it... now I keep quiet.. I can’t disobey my master... I learnt my lesson and this is my only solice sharing it here... master is loving, caring, thoughtful and I would have never agreed to becoming his slave... it’s just that my insecurities get the better of me.. he knows that how insecure I am, I just have very low self confidence... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
hot in your Bonds there Fred 😛 Heeeeeey You're not in that band 'Right said Fred'? Love your work I'm too sexy for my shirt Too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts 'Cause I'm a model, you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah, on the catwalk On the catwalk, yeah I shake my little tush on the catwalk 💃
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RHP User
7 years ago
need to take up another hobby, other than being an idiot 😀
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RHP User
7 years ago
Ok so this has been bugging me so much and my thoughts have been swirling around my head... I spoke to master about it... he was actually quite reassuring which was different to his behaviour a few days ago.., he assured me that he will never cross a line with another woman that makes me feel uncomfortable and that the only connection will be sex. There is no emotional connection between others. There shouldn’t be, only physical... we r all there to explore and have fun... his reassurance was extremely surprising and I’m relieved he understood my insecurities about this... yay I feel better! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
But he has already crossed A line and made you feel uncomfortable! I admit I don’t understand the master slave relationship - theoretical yes, but practically no. It’s not my thing but he punished you for voicing your concerns and you think that’s acceptable that he punished you for that? Really?!? Now you have to keep quiet like a good little woman. 😮
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mango69er
7 years ago
Dont do it. I cant get my head around why any couple would want to be master and slave. But thats me. Still your not ready. Dont do it - Posted from rhpmobile
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Sawadee
7 years ago
Allowing yourself to be a slave has put you in a vulnerable position .? I understand the scenario and living out a fantasy which is fine.. But regardless , you shouldn't lose sight that it is what it is that should not take place of your real life. The first thing that comes to mind is it's apparent " your not really ready to share " .. and that effectively throws a spanner in the works. For this to work as your husband wants it to , you need to be 100% in tune with each other.. You can't have one half open and the other closed. Bound to fail without a doubt.. Ask yourself this.. Is it normal for your husband to have the same fantasy as yours about being with another person ? In his case woman ? Yes , it is.. but before that can happen you both need to get on the same page and stay there.. Sharing doesn't neccasarily mean loving.. It can mean living your fantasy before returning to your back to your comfort zone and treating it for what it is. Does being high school sweethearts mean you only had sex with 1 man ? This would explain a lot but I'm only guessing .. Anyway, like other have said , I don't get the master slave thing at all.. Seems popular with some , but does that mean being a slave you lose control ? Not knocking it btw, just a unknown quantity to me.. Good luck..
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks Again! You have given me a lot to think about! Let’s see how this journey unfolds! - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsJonesy
7 years ago
And they are about more than you and your master adding a third for a play. I also sense from some of the replies by others they also share a sense of disquiet......so I am going to be a little less subtle. This greatly perturbed me; "... it’s just that my insecurities get the better of me.. he knows that how insecure I am, I just have very low self confidence... " You have only been with this one man, you have low self esteem, little self confidence, and a Master who is exposing you to situations which are causing you a great deal of anxiety - not only the potential play, but actively flirting and seeking other subs and slaves to have online relationships with (and they may well be more). You felt you could not discuss your feelings with him, and have belittled your own reactions whilst staunchly supporting his behaviours. There is a difference between a Master/slave relationship and an emotionally abusive one. I think finding some information on this would be of great benefit.
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On_Safari
7 years ago
Are you members of fetlife? Any other groups where you can read up on appropriate boundaries and conduct. S your Master and Master or just an abuser? Did he fulfil your fantasy for MMF to manipulate you into satisfying his own extracurricular activities. I know of other M/s relationships where the Master would never say he “loves” any other over his primary sub. I don’t live the lifestyle but have friends who do. I don’t think they’d approve of this situation or your being made to feel “uncomfortable” “insecure” about the other interactions. Consent is still consent and it has to be 100% mutual.
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