F50

Oxytocin Vs Testosterone

January 25 2013

I just read an interesting article it questioned whether women are capable of having no strings attached casual sex. I don’t know if it really answers the question but it brought up some valid points. Below is some of the content that was in the article, not word for word, gotta keep in somewhat legal, this is not my personal opinion. It mentioned that during the process of sex women’s bodies release oxytocin (the love hormone) that is released by the pituitary gland (notably during both orgasm and childbirth) is known to affect our behaviour. It promotes bonding, sometimes to the extent of making us conformists that can cause the emotional attachment to the person you are with at the time. Men's bodies release testosterone which drives them off to go find some other women with whom to spread their biological material. So it seems that biology grows strings when women have sex. Oxytocin makes women want to bond, but some women feel that they can behave like men sexually. Perhaps they can, but women ARE different than men. Things have changed over the years due to the pill, IUD, condoms and all other forms of contraception that came into existence. But they can’t control emotion evolution, just the reproductive side of it. We can control our emotions and our biological urges. However, this takes work, experience, maturity and probably other influential factors contributed to an individual’s life. And the impact of wanting to bond with someone who does not want to bond, can leave a woman feeling disappointed, confused and sometimes hurt. Most women cannot have a sexual encounter and not feel hurt if a man does not call again and even if he has made clear he has no intention to do so or made it clear he does not want more. Does the increase in the alcohol consumption of women have anything to do with the ease of having casual sex? If she cannot do it sober perhaps she shouldn't be doing it at all. Liquid courage to have sex often ends in liquid tears afterward. Hooking up can be fuelled by alcohol which implies that under sober circumstances women would choose not to have sex with a casual acquaintance. It should be noted that in the Reid, Elliot and Webber study neither men nor women seem to be particularly happy with NSA sex but women are less happy. That said, when it comes to sex, if it feels good do it (safely), but if it does not feel good then why bother? Ok so now for my personal, opinion……. I agree with some points of this article, I do believe it takes a certain kind of person to be able to have casual no-strings-attached sex and very much agree with the line “if it doesn’t feel good why bother?” You may or may not agree with what was in this article, I just thought it brought up some interesting points and was worth a read. Will be interesting to read other people's feedback on this article.

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RHP User

12 years ago

And yes, there are biological differences between men and women, particularly at the hormonal level. However, we spend most of our lives controlling our biological impulses, and as a species have been pretty good at it for a long time. Biological determinism is given far too much credit when it comes to the differences between men and women - what is a fairly modest and subtle influence are paraded as 'essential differences'.You have to be very careful with citations like the one above - Reid, Elliot and Webber may have found that women enjoy NSA sex less, but that doesn't actually tell us anything about whether it's biological or cultural - or the mix of factors. Also interesting that many men would be happy to agree with the general principles outlined above ("we can't help it!") but then completely ignore the finding that men as a test group are unhappy with NSA sex too.

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RHP User

12 years ago

BUT I believe that men and women use sex for different reasons. I know you and I recently had a conversation on "strong sex drive" vs sex addiction. I'm seeing more and more women using sex as a measure of their desireability and perhaps making poor decisions; compromising on safe sex, racking up numbers and probably feeling bad about themselves after the event. Sounds a bit like alcoholism and drug addiction to me?My personal belief is it's "normal" to enjoy sex and the variety that swinging or a site like this can provide, but you still need to make good judgements, be honest with yourself and partner, be kind to yourself, and never make a decision without a wank or a fingering beforehand. It's amazing what clarity you can get after an orgasm!I saw a documentary based on men vs women when it comes to one night stands. A good looking female was taken around a US university campus and the question was asked, "Would you take this woman home tonight for sex?" there was something like an 80% "yes" response. The same was done with a good looking male and the female students. There was a 0% "yes" response.The same was repeated in a UK university, and it received the same response.The theory was, women still need to be seduced and are naturally more selective when picking a partner, even if it is for NSA sex. We are still driven to select "the perfect breeding partner", even if we believe we don't want to reproduce. Men are driven to spread the seed.There was also the old fashioned concept that if a woman sleeps around she is a slut, if a man sleeps around he is a stud.Daily I get messages from men whose first messages start with something like "are you free today for a play". My reaction is usually "oh yes, I have been sitting around all day hoping one of the thousands of men on this site would make me this offer, how did you know?"He's probably woken up with a hard on and lost all sense of reality and quite prepared to stick his man meat in to anything, let's be honest. He probably can't understand my feelings that he is treating the site like a free brothel service or wank fodder.You just need to look around out the number of men on here vs women, or the ratio of male brothels to female brothels.I have rambled here, but I agree that oxytocin is a HUGE factor, which is why sometimes a good snog for a female can feel almost as good as a long hard ramming session.If you are going to play the NSA game you need to take all of this in to account, accept why you feel the way you do, and deal with it.

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RHP User

12 years ago

just don't cum before he goes

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RHP User

12 years ago

Quoting 'Freya13' just don't cum before he goes

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Cassy_74

12 years ago

Quoting 'Freya13'just don't cum before he goes Now where is the fun in that lol!!!!!!!!

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RHP User

12 years ago

Brilliant post

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RHP User

12 years ago

Women are different to men and it is the differences that we all celebrate. However...do not be fooled. Some of us can and do engage in NSA sex. Not a worry!

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RHP User

12 years ago

Not too sure how accurate this study is, both male and females have Pituitary glands and i believe both males and females release oxytocin ( the feel good hormone). Testosterone is at it's highest levels between 3am and 9am, both males and females have Testosterone.

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RHP User

12 years ago

I like to feel bonded during the deed, I couldn't just sleep with someone I'm not attracted to(emotionally and physically) for the sake of sex, but with those I do, I can honestly say that after the fact I'm okay to just walk away and compartmentalise it into an area aside from my life. Text messages may be exchanged between meets, but I don't see it as a relationship, just a friend who I share my body and mind with on occasion, all the better if we have a connection and a little history - I do prefer to see someone regularly as I think the sex develops, have never really enjoyed first time sex with anyone but my current partner, I think that was because the sexual tension had been building for many months until we finally did the deed. Oh gotta love sexual tension.

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Paradisepair

12 years ago

I am in a loving relationship so obviously it's something I welcomed. And I love to connect during NSA sex but that is a lust connection not love and I don't really relate to that article or any other mass generalization that aims to pigeonhole 50% of the population.- Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

12 years ago

just another crapola thing to make women conform if you fuck and then say thanks you honey now you can go..people say you fuck like a man what the fuck does that men exactly? I fuck like the woman I am, free of constraints of the times I live in and free of my biological clock HRT the pill and keeping fitter lasting longer and also not putting up with sexual bullshit is what makes for much better sex. I do not fall for a man just because I fuck him, never have never will I fall for a man because he acts like a man with our without the balls and cock a man is a man is a man

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RHP User

12 years ago

Less just clarify this once and for all and I do hope you have an open mind in accepting this guys. I m a slut/whore, but my understanding of this is purely a woman who appreciates her sexuality and loves cock and sex.... Big difference, we don't keep a score, I / we appreciate a hot cock with an intelligent mind attached, who enjoys the art of seducing, anticipating and fucking.....so please enlighten be with the differerence.... Stud/verses lack of intelectuatity for me.... It's not rocket science.

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Cassy_74

12 years ago

Quoting 'seizethemoment'Less just clarify this once and for all and I do hope you have an open mind in accepting this guys. I m a slut/whore, but my understanding of this is purely a woman who appreciates her sexuality and loves cock and sex.... Big difference, we don't keep a score, I / we appreciate a hot cock with an intelligent mind attached, who enjoys the art of seducing, anticipating and fucking.....so please enlighten be with the differerence.... Stud/verses lack of intelectuatity for me.... It's not rocket science. I agree with your understanding, I would describe myself as being the same. But back in the day I guess that's what you and myself would be desrcibed as, but times have changed. To me if I was to define the word "slut" it would be someone who purely goes for the notches on the belt, has no dignity or self respect for how they go about it or care who they fuck. But it that also brings up the whole thing of having sex just to feel some self worth, which is definitley not a healthy thing to do. There are soooooo many arguments and tangents you can go with on this, I did feel the article in parts was somewhat backwards, but like I said it brought up some valid points and Freogirl66 also brought up some very vaild points aswell.

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RHP User

12 years ago

If we need a type of bonding, then whats the situation if you go to a swingers club? Does that not include many women of various ages and stages of their sexual life, having sex with strangers with no bonding or actual attraction, and still going home at the end of the night without phone numbers or further communication with the men she has just fucked?I have never seen a woman with a guy at a club, suddenly stop what she is doing and try to bond with the extra guy who is coming in from behind to give her more cock and have a 3 some.. it just flows and the fucking just happens..There is a lot of female swingers, single females who attend clubs and like Tuscany, there are many of us who can fuck because we want a fuck and don't want or need any bonding or emotional attachment, and sometimes not hear from them again! I can also say on the other end, there are men who are messaging the next day and keep initiating contact and trying to bond with a female after a sexual act, too much what?? Great topic but think its not all about emotions or what is released in the body but society and women becoming more dominant with their sexual needs and urges also plays a great part these days. many women are now very independent and being dependent on a man even on a sexual level is decreasing, at least until such time as a woman then decides to change and look for an ongoing partner and then the bonding will proceed, but it is a choice a woman can make.

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RHP User

12 years ago

After about 10-20 orgasms, ( in the same session) i may feel like bonding with the man. But for me oxytocin is just not enough, I need the sparks before the sex. I need the pheromones and dopamine before I even get to the oxy. Just my humble opinion.

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RHP User

12 years ago

What I am seeing is the voice of maturity and reason, of those who have more life experiences, different needs in their lives.Are those between 18 to 45 more vulnerable and less able to handle it? Do we come more independent as we get older and more likley to desire NSA sex than a potential father for the child we already have, or the ones we hope to conceive? are we more able to enjoy this kind of lifestyle, without confusion, once those options have been removed?whe we first got in to swinging I used to love going to swingers clubs, perhaps it saved me from feeling anything emotional? that was around 10 yrs ago.I have had a few things happen in my life since then, and the appeal just isn't like it used to be. In the past few years I have needed the connection, but I think my ability to honestly communicate with myself and a potential "play friend" have improved. I came out of situation where I came very close to death, and said "I don't feel like I want to be a piece of meat anymore". Maybe this is easier to do as we get older?

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RHP User

12 years ago

A while ago I met a lovely woman, who once she got to know me said something along the lines of.."Oh i like to be out the door 2 minutes after sex and not see the bloke again for six months, And I so don't want to treat you like that."In fact I've heard similar lines a few times. Though it could just be, they take one look at me and they'll think I'm a crap shag ~laughs~

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RHP User

12 years ago

I think I’m the Oxytocin side of this equation.How does that work?

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Oxytocin Vs Testosterone

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