M46

Paying for it

January 27 2018

So the recent "manwhore" thread got me thinking about the psychology behind paid sexual services... No matter how hard up or lonely I might have been at previous times in life, or how much I wanted to try some new things sexually, it's just something that never really occurred to me as a serious option. Although lately I've been thinking that professional erotic massage is one very specific niche which I could go for on occasion - as long as it's STRICTLY just that. Both in terms of physical boundaries as well as mentality. From what I can work out, the issue for me is that sexual intimacy is just too PERSONAL. So when it comes to most kinds of paid personal services, the fact that it's paid takes that personal connection away from it, which in turn makes my motivation fall flat. Real personal connection is just something that can't be bought. So, the idea of professional erotic massage works in my head exactly because it's NOT too personal. ie I can think of it as "just a massage", it just happens to be one where hands wander into erogenous areas. No big deal. Whereas the traditional "full service" is just too intimate. The whole thing is set up to mimic what actual lovers (who like each other on a personal level) would do together when they hook up, so it breaks my thresholds of what is too intimate and personal and what is just pure sensory pleasure. Do you ever pay for sexual services? What do you get out of it compared to hooking up personally? Do you have different thresholds for what kinds of acts work for you when it's paid versus when it's personal? I'm just a bit fascinated by the psychology around this lately is all. :)

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The_Antichrist

7 years ago

People don’t truly understand the roles of sex workers to be honest... As I mentioned in the manwhore thread, I’ve spent around the $25k on professional services... But not all of those involved sex...(maybe a dozen or so times) or any kind of sexuality...sure it was an expensive shower, cuddle, and chat, but for someone like me that has never been able to seduce a woman in a pub, it was something that filled a void in my life that I was unable to achieve no matter what I did at the time.... - Posted from rhpmobile

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OkeyDoke45

7 years ago

I was approaching my 21st birthday many years ago (of course) and was still a virgin. A very skinny dude with no confidence at all when it came to women. I decided that enough was enough, went and got a hotel room for the night and rang an escort. It was absolutely the perfect way to lose one's virginity - I told her straight up that it was my first time and she helped me through the whole thing, showed me how women generally like things, the value of foreplay, everything. I wasn't ashamed at all about paying for it, and I actually recommend it to any young blokes that are in a similar situation as I was in. So with the erotic massage business, is it just ''oh look, my hand just swept across your pink bits'' but no more, or is it ''special finish'' as well? (Cough cough) Just asking for a friend....

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Sawadee

7 years ago

I get where your coming from because I once had the same setiments and at about the same age. My mind was changed quite accidentily. When I was playing full time sport , I had the benefit of professional masseuse , so when I retired that also stopped.But still being active , I found myself looking for another qualified masseuse which I did. Looking in the local rag , I found the full on services took up the greater part of the classifies and a small section for professional masseuse. So I contact one offering professional remedial massage .. made a appointment and turned up at at this converted massage rooms in the ladies garage. All looked as expected. I was shown into a room and told to strip down.. I did , to my undies , then layer face down as I always done when I played footy. When she returned , she promptly orders me '. they can go ( undies ) .. This is what I found funny, off come the undies only to be covered by a small towel ? Anyway , the massage appeared pretty professional until nearing the end where she skilfully brushed part the erogenous zones causing mr happy to be alert and stand at attention... Impossible to hide , and with towel now looking more like a tent . She smiles , slips her hand under the tent and asks what I'd like to do... That bought me undone.. Cost me more than I expected to spend , but that broke my opinion about paying. I really never have the need thes days as I'm quite happy with my sex life ? But I'd have no gripes if the need arises..

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RHP User

7 years ago

don't think, upon reflection, that there's a whole lot of difference between most fb or fwb arrangements. They cum, they go, without attachment, at their convenience, the only difference being no money exchanges hands. Many are married but that is concealed, some women find out (and possibly men, I don't know) years after they start seeing them. I think if we all looked at what we do here, sex without wanting to 'keep' that person is very similar. Your op made me look deep and that realisation was kind of staring me in the face. Fine if both equally don't want any commitment but it's more often one or the other. Guilt shouldn't play any part in it. I haven't paid for services but if I felt the need and could afford it, as highlighted above, not all sex workers and the old stereotype. Intimacy can be there

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RHP User

7 years ago

I meant 'are' the old stereotypes

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RHP User

7 years ago

For many years it was hard to understand why paid services existed. That is until I came out of a long relationship and found it hard to get in to dating. I paid for some services, enjoyed it and questioned my long held stereotypes and hangups. I'm starting to feel free'er (?) in my sexuality now and willing to try other things that aren't plain vanilla.

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cat_n_the_hatter

7 years ago

between what one thinks is buying and what the other thinks is selling. We may be thinking we are buying one thing but our heart hopes to get something more. Prostitution today is defined as an "engagement in sexual acts that could involve physical contact only with those who are willing to pay the price". Some prostitutes even mimic intimacy, when required to. (I shall let you be the judge of it) I agree with you, one cannot buy intimacy (some do not know what it means) or even be sure if that person likes you, but you may get a nice massage. (Ms)

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RHP User

7 years ago

tantric massage practitioner. I learned the art of An Mo from a respected tantrika and white tigress in Perth and have worked with hundreds of clients. Presently I am not working in the field. It is a very spiritually rewarding modality to be involved in and I met a lot of beautiful people. No, we don't have sex with the client (for anyone wondering?) We move energy through their bodies so the erotic meets the heart. Please don't judge the clients motives or the practitioners of this ancient work. They are just ordinary people. To ASSUME makes an ASS out of U and ME.

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Xxalex

7 years ago

I've never gone full service, just not my style.. No judging here. Just not for me... But I have had a number of massages.. I was in a fairly physical job and they really helped me de'stress. It took me a while to build up the confidence to even go for one.. With all the jokes about happy endings etc. I wanted a women to do the massage, nothing about sexually, just I know I wouldn't feel comfortable or be able to relax the same if it was a dude doing it.. Once again, just personal preference. I ended up finding a local place that advertised massages, and only chicks working there.. So I go in and they ask me to to strip and lay on the table. And then they left the room to allow me to do it.. So I stripped down to my undies and lay face down.. a few minutes later she returned. Made a little small talk and started the massage.. Was the best massage of my life. Would highly recommend it. Just before half way through she got to the top of my leg/bum area and asked to remove the undies. So I did and she continued.. Assumed to was to stop the oil getring on them.. (yeah right).. A little while later she asked me to turn over.. I felt a little uncomfortable but she just continued like it was nothing which made me feel more comfortable about it all... About 10 mins out from the end of the massage she asked if I wanted extra. (It was a 1hr massage for $60) I figured she meant more massage time.... Boy was I wrong.. I must of looked confused as she clarified by saying.. Naughty massage.... $40... I passed on it as for $40 I'll rub one out myself thanks... but I have to say it blew my mind... As I said at the start. People always joke about the happy ending, but I never thought it was an actual thing in such obvious places like I was at... Since then I've had 5 other massages. Been offered happy endings at 4 of them, for them to strip nude at two of them and a full service add-on at one... But the last one I went to which I thought was the most suss place out of all of them.. I was only offered and given the straight massage, didn't even get my undies off.... So yes it does happen a lot, even at place that look legit .. But as for the massage, definitely do it.. but be warned. They are pretty firm/rough so if it's soft you want, you have to make it clear...took two days for my shoulder blades to stop hurting after the last one...But soooo good. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

Tantric goddesses are amazing! I have paid for a series of sessions and I agree it is a beautiful service you provide and is in no way comparable to paid sex. For starters you don’t have sex and it costs a hell of a lot more, but we’ll worth it! Love your new pic too ;) Mr D - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

We all pay, one way or another. 🤔

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PurePeony

7 years ago

I'm full of respect for what you do. 😉😊 When you mentioned White Tigress, I almost fell off my chair! I have been telling close friends since last year that I want to be a White Tigress! 😁 I've had male "volunteers" wanting to help me in my endeavour, but... the White Tigress has to be selective! 🐈

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RHP User

7 years ago

I think you already know that I don’t get this idea that sex always has to be deep and meaningful. Anyway, rather than get slammed I will say that having spoken to sex workers in the past I was made to realize that a reasonable proportion of their clients wanted to talk and be a acknowledged. It def is not necessarily about the wam bam.

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RHP User

7 years ago

I lived in one of the bigger cities I would definitely consider paid services. I haven't had sex in a year now, but with all the shit that has recently gone on in my life I can't be bothered putting in all the effort to try and find a semi-decent single guy, of which there aren't that many here. If I could pay someone and get a guaranteed great session of physical stress release without all the hassle, then yep I'd totally do it.

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RHP User

7 years ago

I don't see the issue, as long as both parties are respected. If you don't like how impersonal these services are, sugar dating could be for you. It's a pseudo-relationship where you both enjoy each other's companionship, without the commitment of a regular relationship, yet you both have your needs met. Rhp has a category for sugar dating which seems to be underutilised. I haven't seen any threads about it in the forums yet. I think with time this will all be more accepted as society loses its hangups around sexuality and enjoyment. - Posted from rhpmobile

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madotara69

7 years ago

Is this idea you have, come from your own reckoning or influenced by the standards of a budget in the lowest denominator, one of the boys leaving the pub after darts, claiming he's not as thunk you all drink he is and waving his eighty five bucks about while bowing out doing the teapot, off for a blow and go from someone you don't know, although expect little chance intimacy could be had with that type of a service and some pre conceived notion that type of woman is of a different class of person incapable of reaching intimacy with the heights in intimacy of such a realistic expectation of what a woman is worth, compared to the worth of a woman you put 'paying some money' . Psychologically Lets imagine a man, a single man that lives for his work, he spends 12 even 15 hours a day, he earns more money than the Prime Minister and once in a while takes some time to feel wanted, the companionship of a woman, an evening dining in a nice restaurant, walk through a nice park under the stars enjoying the conversation becoming an intimate story, Bottle of champagne in a luxury jacuzzi under the thatched roof of a gazebo, a barista bell, Scent of western red cedar, warm water misting, whisked away by the slightest temperate breeze,A million miles up on the Penthouse gardenlooking out over the city lights sparkling in brilliant colours electrifying, The odd shooting star tantalising lightning flashes in a storm way out in the ocean before them, A wonderful conversation with a romantic sentimentA woman who earns a reasonable rate for her services$10.000 because her reliability is secured.Deposited in some place private each occasion 5 moments a year only $50.000, such a small price he bought his own sanity. Intimacy is a choice, not a standard, a woman is a woman no matter what materialistic ideals demand. No sir I disagree, respect can't be bought. Mado Mado Tara xx

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RHP User

7 years ago

For a cuddle and chat, was a nice experience. I did not go with the intention of having sex so I was at ease. - Posted from rhpmobile

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inspirit

7 years ago

... for a third.. Much easier than hunting for one. As I mentioned in a previous thread anx as Shells mentions here, its much easier to get takeout. 😊 I touch - it is quite different. I understamd where you are coming from tho. Remember, untill you experience something, it is difficult to compare. As a prostitue no personal info is given. As a FB you do know personal info, so that there, is where the 'intimacy' is already different. Think about it 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile

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Hawt1

7 years ago

I found my feelings have changed over the years. When I was young and vanilia, after a break up a friend suggested we hire some girls to try and get me back in the saddle I guess (oh and could I shout him?!), I dont know why but I said yes.. a couple of girls came over, a blonde and raven, he took the Raven and left me with blondie. She laid me on my back, kissed her way down my stomach, her wonderful soft long hair caressing my chest and belly and she put a condom on me with her mouth... at this point I burst into tears... blondie just looked and felt so much like the ex I lost my shit and the water works started. She was nice and did hold me for the time, until I regained my composure, then did talk to me. I am struggling to remember so long ago. The next time was also after a break up... but I had been working away from home for 8 months, working 16 hour days for months straight on a mission to raise $23,000 for my family to immigrate to Oz. Went home for Xmas then.. Returned to Australia devastated, my loved one had started seeing the neighbor and chose him over me, lost my kids, lost my woman and after everything I had done. I was majorly sexualy frustrated as I had behaved myself the whole time I was away and decided something had to be done about that STAT!!! The poor woman! I had so much pent up frustration, well lets just say it was a work out for the both of us. I have not allowed myself to be in a serious relationship since that time. Occasionally during dry spells I have seen a prostitute to break a dry spell of several months. So only a few times. But the real professionals dont do intimacy.. No kissing etc. (I love to kiss)I'm totally off the idea now, rather stay home and have a wank. I have however been with lets say some amateurs, even become great friends with one. This for me was a much better experience. A lover of mine has been talking with me about swinging. She wants us to hire a prostitute, she is bisexual but never had that professional experience. I am mildly curious, a little frightened, excited also at the thought. Not to sure how a woman would go with a female prostitute? Guess I will find out

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RHP User

7 years ago

My feelings about this,is,in some cases it's a important service,but for the more intimate and emotional side of some ,this is not an option

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RHP User

7 years ago

If you look at the amount of new profiles by younger women sugar dating is all the rage. Is sugar dating rebranded prostitution? It probably is. I have used sexual services once or twice, once just to see and once as it was being sold as a “tantric lesson” which turned out to be a massage with an unhappy ending. Live and learn. I’d like to see the whole “professional services” industry rebranded to remove the stigma as I think it’s what a lot of men need. Just look at some of your messages. What’s more if the rumours are correct sexually liberated women using apps like tinder are helping to drive down the price ! In the long run it would be a lot more efficient than playing this game if “just a root” is the desired outcome.

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