RHP

RHP User

M64

People often comment that I am attractive

January 07 2015

fun

I read a lot of profiles and at times I find things written that amuse me. Now while the above in generic it always tickles my fancy... You have to ask yourself just what sort of people this person is hanging with. Hi LC how you doing my god your attractive...To me it is not something that comes up that much. So I though It would be fun to highlight some of the funny things you have seen in profiles (do not Identify the profile) and let us all share in the humor... Now to mine: "If we are going to have sex meeting is mandatory"...Hi Alex I will take Statements for the Obvious for $ 400(Jeopardy reference) that was my chuckle line. LC

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Mine was this guy who was "adamant" on his profile that safe sex was an absolute must, then the last line was his comment "unless I can get away with it"... Mmmmm mood killer

  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    10 years ago

    I'm not really single - but you can be the judge of that if you find out the truth. Yeah when there's a knock at my front door or a brick through my window. Foxy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Where the guy claims he won't go Dow for hours as his tongue will cramp.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Think of what to say right now but I will get back to you😱😱😱😱😱😱xx Freya

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    A middle aged couple doing the dishes together..XxFreya

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    10 years ago

    I was shown a profile where the guy wrote about two pages of content. The first was his sexual resume..... the second section was a long story of what he was going to do to you and how wet and wriggly with delight you will inevitably be from him doing it. But Im led top believe, thats not really so unusual if the messages guys send are the indicator.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    You'll get great sex, then when you're hooked and in love.......I run like hell! At least he's honest !

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'Freya79' A middle aged couple doing the dishes together..XxFreya I think they misunderstood what 'DD free ' means.... I'm sure they think its Dirty Dishes????

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    A woman in her kitchen,purple bra and panties...short kimono..looking glam ,glam..BUT in her kitchen surrounded by the dirtiest dishes I have ever see..Including a baking pan in the foreground ..I thought that I should introduce her to the aforementioned couple 😉xxFreya

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    but they have seeking men ticked in their 'looking for' section

  • Tall74nHard9

    Tall74nHard9

    10 years ago

    Ladies looking for guys - aged between 18 - 99, and then complain when someone past a certain age responds ??? Well, err, hello, read the fucking boxes before you tick 'em. Tall

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    are plenty of cock shots where the guy has it next to a soft drink or deodorant can as a visual size indication, but the funniest one I've seen was a guy using his own foot as the comparison object

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    10 years ago

    Hahaha. You would do well in the matchmaking business in China... Our very own Emma. Jane Austen would be proud...x

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'Aurora_Skye' are plenty of cock shots where the guy has it next to a soft drink or deodorant can as a visual size indication, but the funniest one I've seen was a guy using his own foot as the comparison object Oh him. yep met him resident contortionist from Cirque de Soleil... he has a twisted sense of humour...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    But Emma was just a meddling dill😊..but I do feel that I would be suited as a matchmaker...😊😌😉xxFreya

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    once sent me a photo...I said to self.."why is he sending me a pic of a long skinny stick?"...then I put me goggles on..Yep it was a long skinny cock..that thing was definitely not cumming anywhere near me😳xxFreya

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    But if they don't, I tell them. I may have to add that to my profile.

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    10 years ago

    Oh phlu-eeeeze... Insert eyeroll here >>>>@@<<<<

  • Twisted_Mister

    Twisted_Mister

    10 years ago

    One bloke's profile (who had posted some topic or other) that just said: 'You are into me. That is all.' Ripping stuff. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    About us So we like to be fucked up the arse with fire crackers, enjoy slow naked walks up the beach and collecting plastic bags Gave us a good laugh. x T&S

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    10 years ago

    The cauliflower profile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    "Darling, what have you done with that hair, it's fabulous!" "Um, I shaved it all off." "I love it! You're looking fabulous!" Happens all the time. Don't look at enough profiles to have anything to add, but thanks for the laughs.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'SimonDoes' "Darling, what have you done with that hair, it's fabulous!" "Um, I shaved it all off." "I love it! You're looking fabulous!" Happens all the time. Don't look at enough profiles to have anything to add, but thanks for the laughs. Fabulous...sounds a little camp to me :) I have had people say I look Fab tho so say a bit for some of the company I do keep :P

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'Twisted_Mister' One bloke's profile (who had posted some topic or other) that just said: 'You are into me. That is all.' Alpha Male.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    I know a much more FUN way to make your eyes roll. But I won't do it for hours.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    quoting tryst and shout...."Last night we saw this on a couples profile: About us So we like to be fucked up the arse with fire crackers, enjoy slow naked walks up the beach and collecting plastic bags Gave us a good laugh. x T&S" Crackers up the arse would make walking quickly along the beach rather challenging..... 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'Tall_n_Hard' Ladies looking for guys - aged between 18 - 99, and then complain when someone past a certain age responds ??? Well, err, hello, read the fucking boxes before you tick 'em. Tall Are you over 99yo? My, my... I swear You dont look a day over 90!!!

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'Funlover71' I know a much more FUN way to make your eyes roll. Insert Double eye roll here >>> @@ << < >>>@@<<<

  • PL1963

    PL1963

    10 years ago

    RHP should force ppl to put in an age group, could be easily done & stop ppl putting comments like "no creepy old men". I saw this on a couples profile once, the male was 43, age group 45, does that mean the husband would be a "creepy old man" in a few yrs? Cheers P.L.

  • Tall74nHard9

    Tall74nHard9

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'lilyorchid' Quoting 'Tall_n_Hard' Ladies looking for guys - aged between 18 - 99, and then complain when someone past a certain age responds ??? Well, err, hello, read the fucking boxes before you tick 'em. Tall Are you over 99yo? My, my... I swear You dont look a day over 90!!! Such a cheeky young lady - come over here and let me spank you. Tall

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'LoveCurvie'Quoting 'SimonDoes'"Darling, what have you done with that hair, it's fabulous!" "Um, I shaved it all off." "I love it! You're looking fabulous!" Happens all the time. Don't look at enough profiles to have anything to add, but thanks for the laughs.Fabulous...sounds a little camp to me :) I have had people say I look Fab tho so say a bit for some of the company I do keep :P Yes just a little camp. Not my scene either but I've been there. Living in SE Asia what I actually hear is more flattering. May have to put this in my profile: "Bar girls often tell me I am very handsome man."

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    I don't mind creepy old men,after all,I'm a creepy old womanxxFreya

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Is it just me or does posting a wedding photo just trow you off a little...

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'SimonDoes' Quoting 'LoveCurvie'Quoting 'SimonDoes'" Yes just a little camp. Not my scene either but I've been there. Living in SE Asia what I actually hear is more flattering. May have to put this in my profile: "Bar girls often tell me I am very handsome man." was that before the offer of a happy ending?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'lilyorchid' Living in SE Asia what I actually hear is more flattering. May have to put this in my profile: "Bar girls often tell me I am very handsome man." was that before the offer of a happy ending? We can always assume there will be a happy ending. I'm a traditional sort of guy though, I do expect to be chatted up a little first.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Yep....creepy and weird...just being too lazy I think xxFreya

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    10 years ago

    His I AM LOOKING FOR: A woman-hating, neurotic with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling but prefer a long-term, spirit crushing descent into booze and pills. I knew if I waited long enough you would finally notice me. You know you can't make somebody love you...you can only stalk them and hope for the best. I can't wait to meet you....take you back to my place...I'm going to install air holes in my cars boot this afternoon in anticipation. I'm looking for a fun evening that doesn't end in a puddle of vomit or at the emergency room. Serious replies only, no weirdos please..... 😍😍😍

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    10 years ago

    Saunter this way so we can enthral each other with tales of our mispent adulthood 😘 then see if the conversation deteriorates from there 😄

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'On_Safari'Saunter this way so we can enthral each other with tales of our mispent adulthood 😘 then see if the conversation deteriorates from there 😄 I'm actually looking for a woman that won't let me get a word in, and I'm really good at nodding like I care at all the appropriate moments. It's so much easier than being interesting. If you want to be enthralled I could just send you a pic of my cock instead? By the way...I'll bet people often comment that you look hot in green. If not then I will.

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    10 years ago

    There's only one thing that sends me mute.....and I'd prefer the real thing to a picture. 😏 I look good in lots of colours but am fastest in red. 😎 nod away chuckles....x

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Could you please stop liking everything? You are turning my whole news feed green with your picture ten times in a row. :-P

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    What Meander said ;P

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    From another site: 'After 2 kids my V has taken a bit of a bashing, looking for 4 something more...' Um like triplets perhaps !

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Pot, kettle, black !! Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    10 years ago

    ralfs boobs all down the page :P

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'Missb72' ralfs boobs all down the page :P Did Ralf, ralf all over your page :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'On_Safari' There's only one thing that sends me mute.....and I'd prefer the real thing to a picture. People often mumble that I am quite a mouthful, but you can judge for yourself.

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    10 years ago

    Yours, Meeks, Aurora_Skye and DG take up my screen everyday....paybacks a bitch!! 😂

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    They truly defy logic consistently on RHP! People often comment that they find Mrs PP attractive, and assume because they said so that she'll sleep with them all. When did receiving a compliment become granting permission to fuck? Rhetorical question of course. The respect and manners that are expected in the real world apply to dealings in the exquisite land of RHP minded people :) We saw a funny one the other day all appeared normal and great until it very subtly alluded to them being either coke or meth heads... I guess that is appealing to some? Instant turn off to us.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Then say "what? There will be another naked guy in the room?" - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Lifes_great

    Lifes_great

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'On_Safari' His I AM LOOKING FOR: A woman-hating, neurotic with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling but prefer a long-term, spirit crushing descent into booze and pills. I knew if I waited long enough you would finally notice me. You know you can't make somebody love you...you can only stalk them and hope for the best. I can't wait to meet you....take you back to my place...I'm going to install air holes in my cars boot this afternoon in anticipation. I'm looking for a fun evening that doesn't end in a puddle of vomit or at the emergency room. Serious replies only, no weirdos please..... 😍😍😍 You know you're my girlfriend.....

  • LusteeKaoz

    LusteeKaoz

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'Freya79' Yep....creepy and weird...just being too lazy I think xxFreya Quoting 'SimonDoes' Quoting 'lilyorchid'lol I could not resist........... do you also get "luv you long time"Living in SE Asia what I actually hear is more flattering. May have to put this in my profile: "Bar girls often tell me I am very handsome man." was that before the offer of a happy ending? We can always assume there will be a happy ending. I'm a traditional sort of guy though, I do expect to be chatted up a little first.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'SugarMuffin' Then say "what? There will be another naked guy in the room?" - Posted from rhpmobile ....you want to put what, where...I thought you were Bi...Oh Polar !!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'PleasurePurr' They truly defy logic consistently on RHP! People often comment that they find Mrs PP attractive, and assume because they said so that she'll sleep with them all. When did receiving a compliment become granting permission to fuck? Rhetorical question of course. The respect and manners that are expected in the real world apply to dealings in the exquisite land of RHP minded people :) We saw a funny one the other day all appeared normal and great until it very subtly alluded to them being either coke or meth heads... I guess that is appealing to some? Instant turn off to us. OK she is Really Really Attractive....Now Do I get a Root

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    10 years ago

    Between you and my other not so regular squeeze atleast I get taken out for a drive twice a year 😏

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Went to meet a couple that had been arranged with a view to the girls having a play primarily. On their profile they have the boxes for FFM, FFM (bi) ticked. The girls even had a chat over the phone and had sent each other numerous messages before we met just to be sure we are all on the same page. After a few drinks at the pub they invite us back to theirs. Despite numerous advances from the lady i was with the other female was only interested in one thing........me No girl girl action at all. Wasted night and i have been back to their profile and they still have the same boxes ticked. Not funny but annoying all the same

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Are the declarations of how intelligence and the almighty GSOH are OMG SOOOO SEXY... ... and then a friends gallery of exclusively hardbodies. Which isn't to say that some of those hardbodies aren't rhodes scholars, but yeah - the priorities are pretty clear. though thoroughly understandable - why not just say so? Anyone else think these grapes have a funny taste, like they've gone off or something?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'LoveCurvie' Quoting 'PleasurePurr' They truly defy logic consistently on RHP! People often comment that they find Mrs PP attractive, and assume because they said so that she'll sleep with them all. When did receiving a compliment become granting permission to fuck? Rhetorical question of course. The respect and manners that are expected in the real world apply to dealings in the exquisite land of RHP minded people :) We saw a funny one the other day all appeared normal and great until it very subtly alluded to them being either coke or meth heads... I guess that is appealing to some? Instant turn off to us. OK she is Really Really Attractive....Now Do I get a Root *Totally blown away by your chivalry LC (or should I call you Daddy?)... let me lay down while you have your way with me.. #slutbydefaultMrs PP

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'Bleuscents' Went to meet a couple that had been arranged with a view to the girls having a play primarily. On their profile they have the boxes for FFM, FFM (bi) ticked. The girls even had a chat over the phone and had sent each other numerous messages before we met just to be sure we are all on the same page. After a few drinks at the pub they invite us back to theirs. Despite numerous advances from the lady i was with the other female was only interested in one thing........me No girl girl action at all. Wasted night and i have been back to their profile and they still have the same boxes ticked. Not funny but annoying all the same omg yes! Has happened to us twice and never again. Why fake the bi?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    When they don't have a public pic, yet alone a private one them self!.. Argg... - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Sorry but thght this thread my address the below statement! Call me stupid, but I guess the below is just a fake a/c? I'm not afraid to ask for what I want in bed so watch out! People often comment that I am attractive but you need to judge for yourself. Looking for like minded people to play with - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'tryst_and_shout' About us So we like to be fucked up the arse with fire crackers, enjoy slow naked walks up the beach and collecting plastic bags Gave us a good laugh. x T&S

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Women who say they're attractive or "you can judge for yourself", and yet they never show you more than a chest pic. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'Lookin4FunPpl' Women who say they're attractive or "you can judge for yourself", and yet they never show you more than a chest pic. - Posted from rhpmobile How different are those profiles of womens that you speak of from yours, wrt yours, only chest pics? Am I missing something? @Rufus and Lookin. Those profile statements btw are template messages. They may be real people with real accounts just friggin lazy and unimaginative like a lot of men and women here. Your choice to ignore them. I do when I get a flirt or message from these people. If they can not make an effort to interest me with a good description of themselves (does not have to be long) and have no decent pics to boot, I can just imagine how much of a bore they are going to be in the sack. So, just brush them off and say NEXT. Good luck gentlemen.

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'innerwest123' Are the declarations of how intelligence and the almighty GSOH are OMG SOOOO SEXY... ... and then a friends gallery of exclusively hardbodies. Which isn't to say that some of those hardbodies aren't rhodes scholars, but yeah - the priorities are pretty clear. though thoroughly understandable - why not just say so? Anyone else think these grapes have a funny taste, like they've gone off or something? Me like looking at pretty pictures...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Blowjob school0 people liked this |Jan 12, 2015There are 2 types of blowjobs. 1) Just an average blowjob that i have to try hard to make myself to cum 2) A BJ so good that i have to try hard NOT to cum! I know the technique required for blowjob type 2 and am willing to teach it to any worthy students. Such self sacrifice !!!!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Your thread not going anywhere LC?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    LoveCurvie: You're attractive... is not something that comes up that much. OK, I'm going to sound like a completely self absorbed dick (which I'm absolutely not), but for the sole purpose of this thread, I have to say that people do make comments regarding my (a) attractiveness and (b) intelligence. I'm surprised at how often these comments come up, as I've never considered myself to be either. If anything, it's embarrassing when people make a point of telling me these things. Yes, it could be a reflection of the people I hang out with, but thinking about who they are, it's not likely. So, anecdotally speaking, people do make these sorts of comments. Anyway, I think I've left enough of a pretentious impression. Do carry on...