M74 F81
People who don't turn up
May 23 2016
Comments
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I've found I've been messaging a woman/women for quite a while and then when you ask about a meeting, all of a sudden they disappear. Not all women though, but a lot! Couples have been the hardest to meet/organise anything with for me, but I suppose it's all part of this type of site....a lot of people like to look but when it comes to meeting, some probably are more nervous than others.
-
MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
That's what validations can be used for. :) I've noticed over the years reading the forums, people focus first, on naming and shaming, rather than saying they have had positive meets. I agree, what's the use in it? People will always add negitives. To me it encourages gossip and all sorts of damage to ruining ones credibility. I'd love to hear more about positive meets ups. I love reading positive validations, not just about meeting up or good root, but more on them as a good person. I believe, there's a lot of Catfish that happens, not just this site, but we'll over the net. The trick is knowing what signals to look out for and following gut instinct. I also think having a few bad experiences teaches us those skills what to look out for next time. Ms Foxy x PS-nice profile pic OP
-
MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Spacing .. not my doing :( Ms Foxy
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Shit cunts are everywhere....just following verified and validated profiles mean jack shit.... I used to have validations on my profile, it never increased my chances of success, and I've never been verified. I've never really bothered with worrying about whether or not those who I've contacted were either. As a single male it's usually pretty easy to spot the fakes during conversation....and understanding that those single females usually dressed in winter gear, down a street with picturesque backgrounds like snow covered roads, old architecture houses, aren't real....they're usually auditioning for the sound of music or some kind of awesome volunteer work that the company they work for can't afford to fly them out to a different country lol that's my favourite one lol - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
No shows are still better than the complete opposite sex showing up & hoping we'd still play! Some people do have valid reasons for not showing up and fair enough sometimes life gets in the way. But we treat all no shows the same, you don't show we don't organize another date. With the amount of time wasting that goes on v's the amount of people that want to play why waste time on second chances. I feel as a couple we get less get less catfished than the single profiles, not to say we don't get get it though.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
haven't had it happen much, fortunately, but the worst for me was a guy I'd seen numerous times before, awesome encounters, then one time, he just didn't show with no contact. I was upset and cut off contact with him. If he'd just fallen off the radar, fine, that happens, but to arrange a meet and not show with the history we had was poor form and left me feeling like shit. So the adjectives Stirry used pretty much sum it up. Keep on searching for the genuine ones. Hopefully you won't have too many more like that
-
AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
And learn to get a backup plan. Also expect the worst. We had 2 datefinders over weekend. Sat and sun. 100 messages from dozens of prospectives. Short listed and short listed down to 20. One by one they fell by the wayside. Maybe wives that didnt go out at last minute. Some sort of bionic plaque in the budgy world. Friends dropping in. Parents dropping in. Girlfriends deciding it was to big a step. Clients taking them out on their business trip. Unexpected family functions. Heard them all. So sat night was just us and fantastic. Finally at the 23rd hour we had our man drive a 100k to meet late sunday for a great meet. So from a short list of 20 , we got down to a few. It we had shortlisted just a few we wouldnt get a root till 2018.........
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Happened to us over the weekend, they contacted us, told us to come to the city, we grab a can, countless texts back and forth, waiting for their exact address, and all of a sudden silence, till 3 hours later, sorry my missus was sick. There should be a negative feed back button like eBay. Assholes like that needed to be weeded out - Posted from rhpmobile
-
DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
We have had a few "no shows" over the past 6 months. They have not been couples, but rather single "women" and single "men" . In hindsight the single "women" were more than likely guys posing as women. As for the single guys, perhaps they were not so single after all ? lol The best is to not have any expectations. In our case we were going out in any event and suggested that they join us at our local venue (one we go to often). That way if they did not arrive we would enjoy a drink, some dinner and generally have a nice evening regardless. One way of sorting out the genuine from the time wasters, is to speak with them telephonically beforehand, and even say hi on webcam. At least then one knows that they are real. Another option is that they verify their profile, but even that is not a guarantee. Perhaps for many this is a fantasy, being here on RHP with the hopes of doing some swinging. Perhaps when it comes to the crunch, and having to meet in real life, many simply get cold feet? Or they don't know how to tell their wives/partners that they have a profile on here .
-
RHP User
9 years ago
and don't forget the 'men posing as men' 😂😂😂
-
RHP User
9 years ago
A lot of the time people look at the pictures , what your looking for that's it . You get a message from a 21 yr old you don't reply , he checks your profile multiple times then a light bulb moment she is not looking for guys under 35 . All would be great if people read your whole profile . Had a meet planned with a single bi guy a few weeks ago , ticked all the boxes my partner and I were all set to come to his place get a text in the cab , I just want to tell I'm married ( now great puts a damper on the night ) we were on our way so discussed it and wanted to see what he was all about . In real life his picture was quite old and his height was considerebly lower so a lot of fibbing , we stayed for a drink and left very disappointing with his marital status. Just be honest that's all . I have met some serious genuine people who say they will meet and do . There the ones for all the times you get disappointed on here makes you relize how incredible this site is ..
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I don't think this phenomenon is unique to swinging. Punctuality and reliability seem out of fashion even in professional and social settings. To me it's rude. A message only takes a few seconds and then you're not wasting someone else's time. I've only had it happen once, turns out the guy was cheating on his wife anyway, so it was a blessing.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
i've had a few too , now days I tend to only plan to meet someone when I'm already free so that if something does happen I haven't gone out of my way to arrange to be free at that time to meet them. That way if something does happen I can still go do something else. The worst is when its a play meet though and they dont show , one had family show up while I was sitting at home waiting for him in not so comfortable lingerie... another his sister borrowed his car and his rego was up on his motorcycle all of a sudden - although we did end up meeting eventually I don't do second chances now. One pulled a huge story that was so out there that I thought I had to be true I mean went to picture evidence to prove where he was instead of meeting me and sent pics from his mates phone etc to prove where he was, so I gave in and gave him another chance, meet day comes along and he's disappeared again. Even if they do want to back out I have no issue with that just contact would be nice, its not so difficult to do these days we have rhp to contact though, presuming you have their details there is.. kik, skype - phone number, snap chat, face book, email , phone call, snail mail, carrier pigeon there are sooooo many ways to contact someone there really is no excuse for just dropping off the radar even when I've had family members in hospital I've had the courtesy to contact people it takes all of two seconds but like stirry said there are people like that everywhere and I dont think any amount of screening or verification or validation is really the key to avoiding these kind of people because the ones who do this will go to every effort to make themselves look genuine until the last minute... it is what it is, the good meets are the ones that make it worthwhile :)
-
charliesangelkir
9 years ago
I've also found the same, it's a matter of just waiting for the nice people, they ARE on here.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I think it is unfair when I make the time to go and meet someone for a coffee and they never turn up.It does not take much to just send a message saying they are not interested or busy.I realize this is a site for hook-ups but a little comunication goes a long wayThen when they ignore you after you have to start asking yourself if they are real and wanting to meet or just another tire kicker.I actually feel the same about sending someone a message and never hearing back as you are never sure whether to send another message to them, But thats another thread..
-
AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
One very hot guy flirted us up. Told my partner White Opal. She laughed. As a single she had 12 months of his bullshit excuses and never managed to meet. I said might be different now. So i put it out there we were up for play over the weekend. What suits? Nah. Work's really busy. I cant. Opal laughed. Yeah right. He works at night? He builds houses....... So we told him things havnt changed and we were moving on. His wife must have gone out afterall because he sent flirt after flirt over next couple of days saying he's keen. I flirted back we were keen. Message us up. They are out there. The twilight zone........
-
RHP User
9 years ago
We said: thank you for msg mary and i do not live togther but enjoy a very intimate and experimental relationship i - david - live in umina but am in gosford etc frequently mary lives in kings langley and comes up here 2-3 times a week - she's just gone back after staying since friday, for instance whereabouts are you? i am more than happy to meet either or both of you for coffee or a drink in the absence of mary almost any time - alternatively we could easily arrange for her and i to meet either or both of you we're fed up with 'no shows' etc - just had that experience at the weekend - and are 100% genuine lets talk? we are happy to text etc if you are david and mary He said: You are the time waster that does not want to meet. You are a drop kick just keep wanking that is if you can actually get an erectionforget it you are a time waster like so many others good luckShe is undecided at this point as she has another couple she meets with as they only want a womenNeed we say anymore?
-
RHP User
9 years ago
this person's profile - as per previous post - is now suddenly unavaiable
-
RHP User
9 years ago
yep - that could be right
-
FunSexyCple
9 years ago
We've been stood up by several times by guys and once by a couple. It's rude and disrespectful. My tips are chat first & get a mobile no.,for us, no no no meet. Weeds out the cheaters & time wasters. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Yeah, you dodged a bullet there. Your message was extremely polite and is clearly saying you're interested and want to meet, offering different suggestions. You didn't do anything wrong. Maybe he'd had a bad day or whatever but that's really off, consider yourself lucky it never went any further I think
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I guess we all take a risk when we go and see someone or someone comes to see us. You can have a meal or drink before that day (or night) but you never know. Will they show? How will they go? Will they think 'yes' when you say 'no'? And vice versa. Well, we think we've cracked it. No brain surgery really. But a recognition that what you think you are looking for may not always be what you want. But, more importantly its a matter of looking beyond the profile and the messages and seeing what is not there as well as is there. Yep, a bit philosophical but i think its true. Never leave a door un-opened but don't assume that every door is exactly what it seems. You can never predict. Saw someone today who had been a 'no no' and now he's a 'yes yes'. He'd been honest all the time. So there is hope in them thar hills!
-
Openly_Curious
9 years ago
I agree with I_touch_myself2, the response to your friendly and accommodating message was really appalling. That's not the sort of person worth investing your time in. We've always found it helpful to have a voice or video chat beforehand as a good way of identifying the fakes or flakes.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
The message was polite.....no doubt about that but I'd probably want to meet you both together....I got the feeling that I'd be meeting the male only to see if I was good enough and then mmmmaybe I might to meet the lady..... Obviously that wasn't your intention but that's how I, me, not ALL people, had received your response. But I'd have only replied with "thanks but no thanks, I want to meet both but it seems too hit and miss to have her present for my liking but good luck in your search :)"
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Don't turn up when inclination and opportunity don't come together Q
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I guess it all comes down to something old-fashioned called 'manners' and also respect. Respect is pretty important - if people pay no respect to you on-line what on earth are they going to be like when 'in the bedroom'?
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Very well put! The inclination may often be exaggerated on RHP but the opportunity is even more so. Its like the old joke when an elderly man asks a 'lady' for the time and she replies 'yes, if you've got the inclination'.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
The episode in question was most definitely for the three of us to have lunch at a restaurant together.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
And the offensive man was the one whose 'partner' could suddenly not make it. His response did not make sense. As someone commented 'perhaps he's had a bad day' or, maybe i suggest, a bad life. That level of rudeness is horrible. Our interest levels dropped to way beyond zero.
-
AnnieJames
9 years ago
We have a rule that the ladies speak on the phone to confirm arrangements prior to committing to a meeting. Whilst we have had some people who have had to cancel (and have given reasonable notice), we have (touch wood) never had a "no-show". Having read the responses here we realise now how lucky we are - it takes considerable planning for us to have free time to play and it would be incredibly irritating for it to fall through with a no-show.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
But, in some ways, thats life. And, yes, you have been lucky! May yr luck continue!
-
RHP User
9 years ago
We've been lucky to not have too many people flake on us. But once, we were the bad guys. One time last year, we met and chatted with a couple here. Things seemed to be pointing in a positive direction so we made a date to meet several weeks in advance....and promptly forgot. The date came and went and a few days after our planned meeting we received a lovely, sympathetic but questioning message from them, asking if we'd perhaps seen them and decided to run. We felt horrible, and we apologised profusely, trying to assure them that we'd just completely forgotten the date....now everything gets recorded in a shared calendar app.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I've had females not show up for an arranged (first) meeting, both I arranged at a safe public place like a cafe. Another cancelled prior admitting "cold feet", but at least she got in touch. The fact the latter excuse was used makes me assume similar reasons for the other two, but I never heard any more from them, so I'll never know. It's a little frustrating but I see it as inevitable... you have to keep taking the chance that the other person may not turn up again, otherwise the option is to never arrange dates, and just stay at home and not try with anyone. At least these were all local to me, only time used was the 20 mins each way plus getting ready, and waiting. The only time I've lost more much more time was when an actual regular event was cancelled while I was on route... and lucky for me I checked my texts this time while I was driving, otherwise I would have made it all the way there!
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share