Personal safety issues

August 27 2014

I am a guy that is 44 years young, and I was chatting to a girl of 25 who agreed to meet me for a play session. No problem with that, I'm a lucky guy . However, when I suggested that we met in a busy public place first, she got really shitty, and I do mean shitty, and refused to meet me. I explained to her that this was for her safety, and to allow her to say no before arriving on my doorstep, she continued to be shitty with me. I'm not a guy to force anyone to do anything they don't want to do (unless there is a safety word), but she did not know that. So the play session did not happen: easy come, easy go. My question is this: What is the suggested protocol around meeting for play dates, especially when there is a much younger single girl involved?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    My personal protocol - do what feels right for me. I've chatted to men from here and had them around at my house an hour later. Not often mind you, and only when I had a really good instinct that they were one of the good guys. I've also chatted to a few men on here over some weeks, but still had them come to my house to meet face-to-face. I've got good instincts and I've been lucky. In hindsight though, I was silly. Anything could have happened and I never told anyone else I was meeting these men. How dumb! These days I'd tell someone and I'd meet in public first. I think a lot of men are guided by women when it comes to safety, and I also think a lot of men would happily skip all the safety steps for a guaranteed play date ... but it would be better if they didn't because women aren't always squeaky clean when it comes to safety for the person they meet. There are aome bunny boilers about, so it pays to be careful. Kudos to you for standing your ground. It would be great if there was more of that - about where to meet, using condoms, and so on. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • DynamicCouple36

    DynamicCouple36

    10 years ago

    If and when we meet with anyone on here, the first meet will always be in a public, neutral venue. This is for safety reasons. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    I always meet in a public place beforehand, in part for the reasons you describe.

  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    10 years ago

    I only meet in public the first time and it's nice to hear that a man considers these things as well. I think you are being very sensible in meeting any woman in public first, regardless of age. It protects you as much as them; sometimes how we interpret a profile is not actually what appears in public. Your 25 year old may well have been 89, you just never know until you physically meet.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Or a man.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    You did the right thing OP - Posted from rhpmobile

  • SpikeDownunder

    SpikeDownunder

    10 years ago

    I had considered that the profile may not have been genuine, especially as the reaction to meet in public first was so negative. I expect the best from people, but prepare for the worst. Thanks all for your comments. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    I reckon you may have dodged a bullet. Don't for a minute think that because you are a man that you don't need to look after your own safety, there are plenty of crazy women too and as mentioned fake profiles. We tell our kids not to tell strangers too much on social media, yet here we are with explicit pictures, sharing intimate details about ourselves then inviting each other back to one or the other's place sometimes. It is amazing what people will tell you in the hope of a root.

  • ArtsyLusttty

    ArtsyLusttty

    10 years ago

    I say you did the right thing. Nothing is wrong with meeting up somewhere in a busy public place. Her loss, I guess. s3d :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Always meet in a public place first Spike! That way you get to meet the minder as well and it makes it harder for them to hit you up for a "call out fee"! X Obi1

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    10 years ago

    Good to know people like you think about women's safety. Defintely meet first and play later. As said above it applies to both sexes. I know it is funny but the ladies may be right. You may find yourself at home with a 50yo man who has the hots for you. Not exactly what you had in mind. Lol

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Hi everyone. As much as we all want the attention and want to meet up with all the awesome people on this site. Looking out for ourselves is number one. Safety first, definitely, and wanting to meet in public,,,, You did the right thing. :) Mr K. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    10 years ago

    By chatting, do you mean..... in a phone call, or on some form of email/messenger system? ALWAYS verify someone with phone calls before even considering a proposal to meet. That person on the other end of the profile could really be a pimply 15year old boy... or... worse still..... 6 big dudes with baseball bats.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Spike, your scenario is pretty much the default setting for a first date, another option however is Skype there you can indeed checkout how closely they match the profile pic and you can chat face to face which gives you an opportunity to check the bullshit detector.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    I know you and you are lovely kind hearted decent man and I am impressed with you thoughtfulness in writing this forum But you did all the right things and I agree with all the posters above If she was all she said then she may have missed out on a nice friendship with you. Her lost PS: Thankyou for your birthday wishes elsewhere :-)

  • Twisted_Mister

    Twisted_Mister

    10 years ago

    Almost went into Yoda-speak then. Yes, public place always for a first meet, it allows either of you to melt away into the background if the chemistry's not there. From what you say, I think it's likely that the '25 year old' might not be all that was described on her profile...... As Ralf said, I reckon you've dodged a bullet. Enjoy!!! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Before I can make up my mind. Like I can read it as based on the information you have provided as. You have been chatting and flirting with her over a couple of hours and you suggest to her taking it to a more intimate level. Shes horny from your banter and asks you if you would like her to come around now.Then you say no, you want to meet her publically first. Ide say she has a right to be shitty. I know I would if that situation happened to me. Because that means Im going to have to go through the whole process with another person to get my itch satisfied. Just Saying OP. Need more info :)

  • Tall74nHard9

    Tall74nHard9

    10 years ago

    follow the crowd in this one. You did what you did for good reason, and absolutely nuthin' wrong with that. As some of the others have said, probably her loss. I would want to do the same, mainly for the same reasons, but also I know some ladies can find my height a little intimidating so it gives them the option to reconsider their initial ideas. Doesn't worry me - I like to make sure we are both aware of what we could be in for. Tall

  • Circe

    Circe

    10 years ago

    She(we hope), could be anyone! A junkie? A prostitute? Someone who looks nothing like her profile and then you're stuck having this person in your house. Nooooooo! Always meet in public first, preferably somewhere with CCTV before any progression of the friendship...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Good point !

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    This is what concerns me. I'm brand new and browsing, with time on my hands this week, but how do I know I'm not getting conned? I'd love to chat with some longer term members to get an idea of how to work this... Quoting 'Obi1Kenietzsche' Always meet in a public place first Spike! That way you get to meet the minder as well and it makes it harder for them to hit you up for a "call out fee"! X Obi1