M41 F39

Playing separately expectations

October 05 2020

Hi recently my partner and I talked about playing separately on the rare occasion, however hubby asked me a strange question - what is he going to do whilst I am out playing, it will play on his mind. So my question is what do other like minded couples do when one partner is out playing with another person? and any advice is this would be much appreciated.

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LillyandTheFun

4 years ago

Hi NewBiz. ! idea could be that you can both play solo on the same night. So if you get a date for a friday, maybe you can only play if he gets one on the same night. I know it might be a bit hard, but if you were really keen to play and he has got a date then maybe help him, so you can. If you get what we mean. Or more is merrier.

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Champagne333

4 years ago

It would definitely play on my mind, as much as I’m willing to share my F partner in threesomes with a girl or guy and love it I can’t imagine playing separately.. btw she doesn’t share me in our threesomes but that’s fine by me, we all have our own kinks

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Sexyperthcouple

4 years ago

If he is talking like that he’s clearly not ready and I wouldn’t push it at the risk of ruining a good thing X

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nightingale8

4 years ago

You can’t know until you try it and if you don’t like it you can stop. My advice is to go through as much as possible what is OK and what isn’t for each date when starting out. That way there’s less to worry about. Personally I like nights when Mr is out because there’s no one to consider! I have friends over, read, watch all the shows and movies Mr refuses to watch. It’s great

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playfulminx

4 years ago

If he's asking that, he's not really ready to let you play solo. Talk it over some more and perhaps even meet your intended play friend together for a drink first. Organise a play time for when he's busy doing something or someone else. Otherwise there's always Face Time so he can check in on the action if that makes him feel less weird.

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boxestotick

4 years ago

Watch Inspector Morse on ABC!

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Sawadee

4 years ago

I can understand him feeling that way... On the few occassions Mrs S experienced the pleasure of another man. It was always under the condition l be nearby ( her request ) . Even then ' and she had my blessing ' there were moments l felt uncomfortable . But by me being close by ' she felt safe and that was important to both of us. Personally ' i would find it very hard to be sitting at home while Mrs S is out somewhere playing . But thats us .. Im aware some couples have no problem with solo playing..

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FeistyFatty

4 years ago

He's definitely not ready to go solo yet if he's saying that. I dont think that ever crossed mine or hubby's minds to be honest. Usually if I'm playing and I've gone out, he and the kids have their usual evening. And vice versa. The fun happens when either party returns home (that night or next morning). Tread carefully guys.

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FeistyFatty

4 years ago

Actually, funny story. One time my hubbh was catching up with a lady who lived in an apartment across the road from my gym and I said cool beans.... save taking 2 cars, I'll grab a lift. By the time I was done with my half arsed workout/talking session and coffee I saw him leaving her place.... got a lift home and heard all about his morning while having a naked swim at home.

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DonnaBrett

4 years ago

Hi Newbz, We play separately from time to time, even while in different cities/states. There's various options, both can have 'dates' at the same time or just one of us will play while the other is elsewhere and knows about what is going on, that's really hot. Also sometimes we play without the other knowing and tell each other about it afterwards. The last option which we also do is line up an 'adventure' without the other knowing in advance and then send a sexy booty call photo showing what is happening at that exact moment. That's super hot and fun. Of course if you have even the slightest hint of jealousy in your relationship then these adventures may not be a good idea. We've been swinging for over 20 years and we're very secure. We each basically have an open hall pass for fun. At the end of the day you won't know how you feel until you try it, maybe starting out with both having solo adventures first is the way to go then branch out further down the track. Good Luck.

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badboyhere

4 years ago

All I can say is that you have to both feel comfortable about this and it does take some tolerance and patience from both to make this work. What is even more important is communicating with each other. The communication can do two things. 1. Help you both understand what you want and are willing to accept and 2. It makes the passion you have for each other so much hotter when you talk about how much fun you can both have and share it when you get home for round 2

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ExhibitionistEve

4 years ago

Catch up with a friend, watch a really gripping TV show, etc. Just have your own fun with something you find distracting and comforting. Don't sit at home bored while you wait for them. Your imagination will have time to run wild. If you're the one going out, make sure to make some time for your partner when you get home for a debrief and reassure them. They probably will have some fears and jealousy rear its head, and sometimes all it takes is to voice them out loud to realise how silly they sound. After you take the first baby step and their trust is not broken and their fears do not come true, you'll probably find they feel more secure in the relationship than ever and it becomes easier to take more baby steps after that. If you're placing extra restrictions on their time with the other person, I personally think it's best to involve the other party in that conversation so they have a realistic idea of what's on offer for them. As someone who's played solo with members of couples before, it feels shitty when you realise halfway through (or after) a date that decisions had been made on your behalf and you weren't informed that the limits have drastically changed. Remember to take them into consideration and treat them like a person too (some couples really do need to be reminded!)

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RHP User

4 years ago

We have settled into a groove where Ms likes to send me away to play and come back and tell her about it, makes her go wild. We have gently staged up to this position, but was cemented when we took a gf away for a weekend and Ms found it the hottest not when we all played together but when I was playing solo with our friend in another room. So in our situation, Ms is in a state of extreme horniness while I’m away. She waits eagerly for any messages on what is happening and if things are progressing. If it moves to play, she insists on getting a message to tell her such. We a have a few rules around the play we have settled on, but at the end of the day, how one couple manage it isn’t a solution for all. Talk together and find what will work for you guys.

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jenniecruising

4 years ago

Maybe he isn’t ready, it's all good as a fantasy but reality might be too difficult at this stage. For us, Cruising is very content at home waiting for the first photos of the date, anticipating my return and hearing all about my date. You both have to be super secure in this type of very vulnerable dynamic. If your play partner is understanding, try a coffee or drink without sex, see how hubby and yourself are afterwards. Baby steps and communication xx

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KinkyHugh

4 years ago

Great question and some very well written answers

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ontheprowl

4 years ago

Mine stays home with a huge boner until I get back :-)

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Playing separately expectations

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