M47 F44
Polite rejection methods, why don't they seem to work?
December 31 2009
Comments
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kickoutoflife
15 years ago
Well done - your forum was good and well thought out....impressive, i hope many view it and take note.... Cheers
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RHP User
15 years ago
The most recent one, was where we rejected a couple based on distance, I mean they were about 700kms away.There reply to us was, something along the lines of " Cool, your loss...we are a very sexual down to earth couple...yada..yada"I mean We enjoy sex as much as the next couple....but whoa there Nellie, lets just back up the horse...i think we left the cart behind!Gotta have some level of practicality, who travels 700kms or more for sex...i mean ruly truly!If they had of been within a couple of hours drive, it could have been playtime!Cheers Nev ....wondering what goes on in peoples heads!
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't think there's anything to be gained in making a fuss about having your advancements rejected. It's easy enough just to say to yourself "Next". This works both ways. Of course, a simple flirt isnt really an advancement. It's just a greeting card.. like you would use when you walk into a shop and greet the checkout chick. Being knocked back for a flirt is .. well... just silly, since the whole flirt thing is pre-selected responses. They ought to ban the "No No No" one. Its used by people who think too highly of themselves to communicate a little bit of good will. some of the other rehjections are just as capable of expressing the same thing but in a much less provocative way. Anyway, I always believe that one way or another you reap what you sew.. or should that be sow? lol. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
We think if you don't like the look or sound of the person ppl asking then feel free to say no if they can't handle rejection then that is thier problem not yours you can't make everyone happy as long as you guys are then that's all that matters rejection is part of life no point getting nasty at ppl if they aren't interested if they come back all nasty and nasty comments they not the sort of ppl you really wanna play with
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RHP User
15 years ago
This may be a little off subject, but taking it futher what we find is there is no interst, then all of a sudden you are talking with two to four potentail couples, and know full well there is no expectations and chances are 2-3 of those couples will decide not to take it any further. So what do you do? Meet with all four at different times and if we all click we play, but the worry is we only want to play on an occasional basis twice a week tends to take the excitement / anticapation factor away. You can hardly say .."Sorry we have had our monthly play" and if you try and stall out the others will soon lose interest and class you as a time waster. Suppose we have to accept this and say "next" when the urge is there again. Whats the answer to this? Has others found the same? Cheers
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well as 3-week old new borns to RHP we've found making our way very interesting and greatly amusing ... 170+ hits, countless flirts & messages ... so we do a lot of very polite rejecting; taking no pleasure in it as most of them seemed great people ... especially those that keep coming back with more flirts ... Now most of the time it's straight(M)/Bi(F) partners ... clearly plenty of you fully bi-ladies want to come and play with Sunny and she's flattered ... but if your man said straight in your best attempt at an honest profile then sorry we simply don't want to play with you if your subsequent messages suddenly reveal he's not so straight after all ... all that does for us is suggest that its all about your lady and not truly the pair of you ... So come on guys, if your are anything other than straight stop hiding yourselves. Surely RHP is a place to be honest ... so update your profiles, and we both want to see more of the guys in together with their "draw card" partners in the picture galleries, otherwise we will keep disappointing you ... As for rejection ... we can handle it ... even a polite no thankyou is better than a total rude silence (very common so far from our early Flirt firsters we decided to follow up on) ...and we all move politely on (or course so deeply moved by these guys) ... simply blocking out what we don't need to see anymore works very well ... Have a sexy New Year all ... Sunny AndBi
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have to say that usm has pretty much summed up the issue. The thing is this is not only an "adult" site but also a site used by adults. It is inevitable that you will not be attracted to anyone and everyone in the universe so rejections will be par for the course to a certain extent. To become belligerent really does not do anyones cause any good at all. At best you become know to whoever has rejected you as "that rude bastard" or at worst you get yourself a bad reputation. Sounds lke usm has a similar philosophy to myself and a lot of others on the site, namely if any person who might be involved is uncomfortable or uninterested for any reason, all parties should walk away. To be honest, any discussion of why may be totally irrelevant, there could be a hundred reasons. You may simply not be attracted to the other person/s physically, their personality. Hell they might have blue eyes and you just don't feel like fooling around with someone with blue eyes tonight! There may be no quantifiable reason you can express. If we are all acting as adults on here we should be able to accept that this will happen without descending to petty insults or condescenion. Generally if someone is polite it should just be accepted and everyone walks away with no hard feelings. If there are hard feelings then perhaps it is not the rejector but the rejectee who need to have a look at what they are doing on here as well as the how and why. After all we are all supposed to be on here to satisfy some need, whether it be to explore a fantasy or just for fun. Here endeth the babbling rant. here just for fun is all
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well brought up topic. I reckon some people should just grow up and learn to deal with rejections as it is part of life whether it is sex or non-sex related. Just like any other profile, I do get my share of rejections and very much appreciate if they replied to say 'No thanks'. Thats being honest at the same time taking some initiative to reply when I have put in an effort to write up a msg. I guess everyone is different but still there should be some level of maturity.Like minds think alike ... just saw your post 'koolkiwicpl' and realized we wrote almost the same thing abt rejections being part of life.Cheers all
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't mind a polite rejection, or no responce at all. I certainly don't expect to appeal to everyone, but there is no reason to be rude. I sent a flirt to one woman and she sent a flirt back to me. Then I sent my email for her to contact me. Then she sent me a nasty message, telling me where to go. Angry by her message I told her that if she wasn't interested, then don't reply with a flirt or even reply at all. People, please be honest and don't be nasty and hurtful
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RHP User
15 years ago
It's a case of Ce la vie, there's nothing to be gained from beating yourself up or becoming abusive in a reply. Be gracious and wish them luck in finding what they want. Let's face it chemistry is something we search for because it's not around us all the time. Recently I had a nice conversation with a local girl, we teased each other in email exchanges but when it came down to it she said she really only had a thing for blondes. I hadn't seen a photo of her and don't know if I would have felt that we had some sparks but was happy that we didn't waste each others time if there was no connection on her side. Happy New Year to all - hope 2010 will give you everything you desire.
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RHP User
15 years ago
sorry to hear that you have had some arses reply that way we have been lucky so far with replys to our rejection there has been couples to reject our advances witch is fine with us and a thanks for the reply is all that was requiredas it saves us time and money with people who are not interested in us in the first place cheers barry and leah
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hi guys, very interesting topic. We have experienced similar responses from a very small minority of profiles we have rejected. Our take on that sort of abuse is that it justified completely our decision, so great! It is a bit tricky rejecting some profiles as you say, we are simply not attracted to everyone and there can be other factors influencing our decision, though most of the rejections could have been avoided had the person read our profile fully, thats why we went to the trouble to write it. Being rejected by others ourselves is cool with us, we dont expect to be given a reason, that is just life as long as it is respectful. It can be a bit discomforting being rejected after having met and played with others after (what we thought) was a great time and the other party voiced the same at the time, maybe we were just rubbish and they didnt want to hurt our feelings? lol. Anyway as they say suck it up princess and move on. Most people are great and we have met some wonderful people on RHP so we can forget those with issues. XX
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RHP User
15 years ago
we rejected a couple because of certain ethnic issues, and despite have nothing against the race, we just arent attracted to them, as well as having to many bad experiences with them, odour due the foods the eat, cleanliness, stemina etc, and not just once or twice 5 or 6 different intervals. our rejection was very polite and sincere of simply "thanks for the compliments, however, sorry we dont find your profile very appealing. sorry again but good luck in the future". to which we got a lovely response, of something along the lines of 'what would you know, your seem to just be another fat white chick and a desperate boyfriend". not nice but some people just cant handle that there not attractive to others, isnt it amazing how the arseholes stick in our minds over the rest of the lovely folks on here,
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RHP User
15 years ago
On a positive note.... I can honestly say we have never received a nasty reply to a rejection. Our standard is: Thanks for the flirt / msg they are always appreciated. We have checked out your profile and there are some areas that don't match with ours. Good luck with your search. Not sure where all the nastys are but I hope they don't flirt / msg us anytime soon. K.
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RHP User
15 years ago
some people take it well.....others not so well.I figure the ones that get abusive....just reinforce my opinion of them.I dont reply to messages that are obviously crass or totally not what Im looking for....I just cant be bothered.But messages that are friendly...witty..complimentary...I will check out their profile...and go from there.But all my rejections are friendly..I dont see the point in abusing someone just because they arent what im looking for.Just my opinion...BJxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'Kileetrev' On a positive note.... I can honestly say we have never received a nasty reply to a rejection. Our standard is: Thanks for the flirt / msg they are always appreciated. We have checked out your profile and there are some areas that don't match with ours. Good luck with your search. Sounds very similar to us tho we have had 1 abusive message and 2 from stirrers, our own fault tho. It was before we realised the futility of trying to provide an explanation if they didn't accept the initial message though. No probs since then...Cheers!
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usm79
15 years ago
Quoting 'em_n_celticguy' we rejected a couple because of certain ethnic issues, and despite have nothing against the race, we just arent attracted to them, as well as having to many bad experiences with them, odour due the foods the eat, cleanliness, stemina etc, and not just once or twice 5 or 6 different intervals. our rejection was very polite and sincere of simply "thanks for the compliments, however, sorry we dont find your profile very appealing. sorry again but good luck in the future". to which we got a lovely response, of something along the lines of 'what would you know, your seem to just be another fat white chick and a desperate boyfriend". not nice but some people just cant handle that there not attractive to others, isnt it amazing how the arseholes stick in our minds over the rest of the lovely folks on here, Yeah the arsehole do stick in your mind. So much so that they become a deciding factor in who we play with if we are weighing up the pros and cons of a profile. We look at the friends list and see how many people they are friends with that have just been rude to us or the like. We know this might not be fair to them, but if we aren't sure then we fully review someones profile to see who they get on with to see if we will click with them. To be honest it works very well for us.
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RHP User
15 years ago
As I'm getting used to this site I'm finding it easier to kindly reject someone, and to date haven't had too many problems. The hardest thing I've had to deal with tho is the ones you take a chance on, chat to online for a while and then realise there is no spark... These are the ones I find extremely difficult to let down gently and have had quite a bad experience. So how does one let them down nicely without being labelled cock tease or accused of leading them on? It's led me to be very choosy and I now rarely take a chance on a guys profile unless I really like what I see, which is a shame because I'm sure there are probably heaps of guys out there I've rejected based on this negative experience. Wouldn't it be nice if we all felt confident enough to be honest, put recent face pics up and not have to worry about the shame or complications of being on a site like this (ie getting sprung by friends, work colleagues etc...) aaahhhh in a perfet world perhaps :0).... K
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RHP User
15 years ago
We dont mind the rejection thing as we have had to because they are not what we are looking for. But I wish people would just reply and have the courtesy to reply, since you have taken the time to read their profile and then send a message. I guess the ones that dont reply are the ones that just look all the time.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hmmm, had an experience very recently where we were really interested in a couple and had all but got ready to meet them, and ON THE DAY the guy rings and says his wife isnt in town anymore but he will still come over anyway. Kinda changed everything as we felt that he had done a bait and switch. So, we ended up just running with it, had a blast. Turned out in the end he did have a wife, and she was away that day, met her the folllowing week. So kind of a situation where we were going to reject, and it would have been obvious why . . . but then didnt. (now I am single again, I wont be repeating the same deceptive conduct) Meow
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RHP User
15 years ago
Polite rejection methods dont work because some us are just so confident that we cannot understand that you would really reject us... I mean... surely you are joking right! Me? Look at me. You're not going to pass me up! C'mon.. hehe.... did I tell you about that great orgasm yet? the nine inches of rock hard man meat.... etc etc... :p Hugs Stalky
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usm79
15 years ago
We really hope you are joking mate?
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RHP User
15 years ago
(we're not serious - just having a laugh)For Nice People/Messages where there is no chemistry.a) We appreciate your interest, thankyou. At this stage we'd like to decline.b) Your profile looks great but we only meet people who live closerc) Wow that was flattering, could we please respectfully decline at this stage.More Direct Responses:a) Sorry - your fingernails have 3 inches of dirt under them - and our skin is crawling thinking about it.b) You seem nice . . but gee you look unfortunatec) Wow you are Brave putting pictures like that up.For those that message without any images or even private galleries to show you when your profile has images.a) I understand your privacy and discretion is so much more important than mine, of course i will show you more picture, we really are gullible.b) I understand you are in the public and cannot share pictures, but we don't have sex with politicians.c) If you can't treat us now - in a nice fair manner - you'd have no chance in the bedroom. For Guys who cannot read the profile saying "No Guys."a) Vada via e lascili soli (That's Italian for Go away and Leave us Alone - Cause you can't read fucken English)b) Thankyou - we'd love to catch up after you complete your sensitivity and comprehension courses.c) Oh my god of course your an exception - especially with a photo that compares you to deodorant can. How can anyone resist a deodorant can?d) Thankyou for the guarantee of a good time, It's nearly as good as the Telstra guarantee to provide great customer service.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Thank you Twicespice that was fantastic! I actually may use the nice ones K
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RHP User
15 years ago
All i can say is if you can't handle rejection, what the hell are you doing on this site, as not everyone thinks your hot!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
We especialy love the ones who have a requirement to be told the same thing multiple times. It's gotten to the stage that we'll be nice once, bluntly honest the second time, and a third occurrence earns a block. meh, plenty more fish and all that........... A+ J
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RHP User
15 years ago
We have found most people that are just not into us just ignore us, don't bother to reply to messages or just stop all contact.On the other hand we prefer just to be honest. If there are issues we just tell them, eg we don't see smokers, bi guys etc. If there is no attraction just tell them, its not easy to do but just be honest.Good LuckG & C
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RHP User
15 years ago
I must say i am so impressed with they way you worded a rejection to a flirt etc, that i hope u don't mind us using the same, it is gentle and to the point no wonder u haven't had a problem. regards M & K
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RHP User
15 years ago
...whether its giving or receiving. We used to try to respond to all but got sick of really nasty replies so I must admit we do a fair amount of simply not replying, although this isn't perfect politeness it does seem more effective. Twicespices flirts should all be added to the RHP flirt list asap, very funny. I don't think it's good to go into long explanations of why you're saying no, simple and polite is all that's needed and I'm not sure if em&celtic actually mentioned race in their rejection but we think these kind of preferences should be kept to oneself, it's ok to have preferences but to mention a race based preference is bound to get the hackles up even if you don't intend it.
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