MysteryMr

MysteryMr

M52

Polyandry

January 31 2015

I've been seeing ads on TV recently for shows about about polygamy, and all of them feature a guy with multiple wives. This got me wondering why we don't see more stories about a women with multiple husbands. A quick Google search revealed there is a specific term for each type of polygamous relationship. When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, the relationship is called polygyny; and when a woman is married to more than one husband at a time, it is called polyandry. Now my questions to the Red Hot Posters are:1. Have you heard of, or know anyone in a Polyandry relationship (Women with multiple husbands)?2. Could you see yourself in this sort of relationship? Hoping to see a cross section of responses from guys, girls and couples.

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    She and her husband and her younger lover ,lived together and owned a sex club in Brisbane xxFreya

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Finding a boyfriend is proving hard enough, so at this point in my life I couldn't see myself living with one husband let alone two lol. But to answer your question OP, while I have heard of polyandry, it isn't something I'd personally be interested in. Ideal for me would be a relationship where my partner and I could dip into the swinging scene occasionally, but do it together as a couple. Much love, Elle xx

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    10 years ago

    i need to give this some thought. It sounds perfect.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    mmmmmm Im an alien so I dont djhfdjkj what you earthlings do so long as you dont harm each other.We dont have your crappy restrictions where I live.Europa, ready to come home now, Ive introduced the dick and cunt jump.Gotta go peeps of this strange little planet. I cant stand being away from my minsen.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Theres a famous actress, cant remember her name, who lives with her hubby and younger lover. One is enough for me....twice the socks and wet towels all over the floor, twice the mess in the kitchen when they decided to cook, twice the arguments about which channel to watch, two cocks...oh, wait a minute....

  • Hottie1

    Hottie1

    10 years ago

    Two men to please me. Hopefully they'd be bi and we would be one busy threesome 😍 Mary xx

  • totallygenuine

    totallygenuine

    10 years ago

    Well I'm not married to them but I am involved in relationships with the wives/gf's of the couples atm. It's worked for me from over the years. Hubby/bf are all for it as well.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Tilda Swinton, I think. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Thats the one! Certainly seems to work for them?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    a) its not evolutionarily sound b) it would actively encourage adultery on the part of secondary men in the relationship c) its not socially beneficial to the woman d) the polyandrous model fails to take population data into account, that nationally women outnumber men at minimum 4:1 e) by and in large women are far pickier than men when it comes to sexual partners and relationship choices probably because if they make the wrong choice the negative consequences and social consequences are severe f) taking biology into account one man can father several children to several women at one time, one woman can usually only have one child to one man at any given time, aside twins, triplets and so on. g) men have nothing to gain from polyandry whereas socially and economically women have everything to gain from polygamy if the man is strong enough to handle multiple wives democratically instead of dictatorially, lions, wolves and gorillas are prime examples of polygamy working quite well in nature. h) the polyandrous model you describe would be closer to the society of the bonobo in theory but not in practice. All of this hinges on the simplicity of the maths. Taking aside the fact women outnumber men nationally and globally, for the polyandrous model to work all the men involved would ideally have to be bi but if that was the case sooner or later the woman would come to feel neglected emotionally and quite possibly made redundant physically and she'd have only herself to blame. I say that as someone who is perfectly heterosexual and happy with it. As a man who would not be the woman's primary yet being in a polyandrous relationship with her I ask you OP, what is my incentive to be in the relationship in the first place, what is my incentive to stay faithful, and perhaps most pressing of all is, why should I give the slightest hint of a damn? My security is not guaranteed whether emotional or financial, there's a good chance my needs won't be met and those chances of my needs not being met increase with every new male that enters the relationship. In sum, I am not receiving financial or emotional security, I have no right to sexual monopoly or exclusivity, what the fuck's in it for me then? As a non-primary part of the relationship I am expendable, I am insignificant and easily replaced. It could be that I take serious issue with two men doing it, not that I minded until they both start sleeping with the woman I'm also sleeping with then it becomes a problem because they risk exposing her and even me to whatever dormant STIs they may have or could have potentially picked up from any number of men they've slept with. There's also the hygiene argument as previous poster already stated ' twice the mess' if you're lucky. Conversely two women who are bisexual are possibly more selective and less likely to have an STI than a pair of bisexual men. All personal biases and sexual preferences aside, my biological, economic and social arguments A-H still stand up to scrutiny. So I guess the answer to your question would be no and no. Or more specifically yes but not personally and no. However I have known a couple of couples who have dabbled and in polygamy and imploded or nearly imploded as a result. As for myself I would really like to be in a Polygamous relationship with a maximum of four girls, not only because the data is on my side but because that way I would have no incentive to cheat and perhaps more importantly I wouldn't get bored. I am not a believer in monogamy as a natural impulse yet I want a faithful loyalty-based relationship with a plurality of women to the exclusion of other men. What does that make me?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    *sits on the couch with her box of popcorn* Anyone care to join me? (I'm not wearing any knickers and I can handle more than 2 men at once - I must be an evolutionary blip)

  • MysteryMr

    MysteryMr

    10 years ago

    Some interesting responses so far. Devlin - Very detailed response and great insights. I may not agree with all of them, but the whole point of the thread was to get different perspectives. Thanks. :-) Koko - Yes, Tilda Swinton came to mind when I posted this. From memory she took her lover to an awards ceremony with her. How cool is that. Europianbliss - Safe travels. Not sure what else to say.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'DevlinBlack666' a) its not evolutionarily sound Why? b) it would actively encourage adultery on the part of secondary men in the relationship Why? Some men can't keep it in their pants with one women. Besides who said you all had to be monogamous to each other? Not very broad minded of you there. c) its not socially beneficial to the woman. Why? d) the polyandrous model fails to take population data into account, that nationally women outnumber men at minimum 4:1 Now this is not true. I thought it always hovers around the 1:1 mark with a small favour to more women..we are more important to the continuation of the race I suppose. e) by and in large women are far pickier than men when it comes to sexual partners and relationship choices probably because if they make the wrong choice the negative consequences and social consequences are severe You are talking about women that want to have children? So young women? Or are we still living in the 1950's and nobody told me? f) taking biology into account one man can father several children to several women at one time, one woman can usually only have one child to one man at any given time, aside twins, triplets and so on.To me this is irrelevant. g) men have nothing to gain from polyandry whereas socially and economically women have everything to gain from polygamy if the man is strong enough to handle multiple wives democratically instead of dictatorially, lions, wolves and gorillas are prime examples of polygamy working quite well in nature. You mean he is king of the castle. That is not how a poly relationship would work in the Western world I don't think. You are speaking about those religious cults were the women are submissive. That wouldn't be the norm h) the polyandrous model you describe would be closer to the society of the bonobo in theory but not practice. The OP has not made any comment about how a poly relationship would work so I don't understand why you have even made this comment? As a man who would not be the woman's primary yet being in a polyandrous relationship with her I ask you OP, what is my incentive to be in the relationship in the first place, what is my incentive to stay faithful, and perhaps most pressing of all is, why should I give the slightest hint of a damn? Again your views about how a poly relationship can work is really limited. Who said anything about remaining faithful or not being allowed to have other lovers? As for myself I would really like to be in a Polygamous relationship with a maximum of four girls, not only because the data is on my side but because that way I would have no incentive to cheat and perhaps more importantly I wouldn't get bored. I am not a believer in monogamy as a natural impulse yet I want a faithful loyalty-based relationship with a plurality of women to the exclusion of other men. What does that make me? Selfish

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    firstly...it's not reported possibly because it seems that only men brag about their achievements while women just enjoy it for what it is.... Secondly to answer your questions... At this stage in my life I'm unawares of such an arrangement of married people but I do know of a few women with multiple lovers....more power to them too... Would it be for me?? Probably not as I don't like making appointments to see my partner/lover/wife... - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    I watched a documentary some time back where it was customary in a particular South American tribe for a woman to marry the eldest son and in doing so was also married to his brothers. One woman had 6 brothers as husbands: * Socially all the children were related genetically to each husband and the mother.* Six bread winners and the wife was home comfortably looking after the children.* As generally women seem to have a longer life span, the wife wouldn't be left alone as she would have the younger husbands there to support her and the family.* In some instances the youngest husband stayed home and helped with the housework and raising the children. Obviously in some cases there is only 1 son to be married in a family so they were poorer in comparison because he is the only bread winner. In this instance it is a very poor country, where survival is difficult and I can see how having more than one husband would be beneficial to all. LG

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'DevlinBlack666' a) its not evolutionarily sound Its only since the human species evolved from hunter gatherers (nomadic lifestyle) to farmers (in situ lifestyle) in primarly Christian-based cultures that marriage and monogamy has become the "norm". Ownership of land and property meant they needed an heir to pass things on to. Communal nomadic lifestyles saw everything shared - food, love, sex and children were raised communally. The women always chose mates who would be the strongest to protect her and her offspring. Sometimes one would be the provider and another would be a protector. b) it would actively encourage adultery on the part of secondary men in the relationship How many primary male partners do this anyway. There are plenty of married men on RHP (and women!). c) its not socially beneficial to the woman It is very beneficial to the woman .... d) the polyandrous model fails to take population data into account, that nationally women outnumber men at minimum 4:1 This is taken from the ABS 2013: There were more females (7.73 million) than males (7.61 million) living in capital cities, while slightly more males (3.91 million) than females (3.89 million) resided in the rest of the country. Total Australian population in 2013 = 23.14 million (females - 11.62 million and male - 11.52 million) e) by and in large women are far pickier than men when it comes to sexual partners and relationship choices probably because if they make the wrong choice the negative consequences and social consequences are severe Have you seen the divorce rate? Many people remarry or enter defacto relationships or have open relationships. Social stigmas are not the same as they were 20 years or more ago. f) taking biology into account one man can father several children to several women at one time, one woman can usually only have one child to one man at any given time, aside twins, triplets and so on. And the problem is? See my previous post. g) men have nothing to gain from polyandry whereas socially and economically women have everything to gain from polygamy if the man is strong enough to handle multiple wives democratically instead of dictatorially, lions, wolves and gorillas are prime examples of polygamy working quite well in nature. We live in a democracy where it is a lifestyle choice. No one needs to handle or manage anyone but work together for the good of the ongoing relationship. If it comes to a point where it is not working then each party is free to leave the arrangement/marriage via divorce. h) the polyandrous model you describe would be closer to the society of the bonobo in theory but not in practice. All of this hinges on the simplicity of the maths. Taking aside the fact women outnumber men nationally and globally, (incorrect, see my previous post re ABS stats on sex ratio in Australia. Also in countries like China, Japan, etc. where infanticide is prevalent men far outnumber women) for the polyandrous model to work all the men involved would ideally have to be bi but if that was the case sooner or later the woman would come to feel neglected emotionally and quite possibly made redundant physically and she'd have only herself to blame. I say that as someone who is perfectly heterosexual and happy with it. As a man who would not be the woman's primary yet being in a polyandrous relationship with her I ask you OP, what is my incentive to be in the relationship in the first place, what is my incentive to stay faithful, and perhaps most pressing of all is, why should I give the slightest hint of a damn? It is not for everyone. Some people are happy to share not only their lover but also responsibilities within a relationship. My security is not guaranteed whether emotional or financial, there's a good chance my needs won't be met and those chances of my needs not being met increase with every new male that enters the relationship. In sum, I am not receiving financial or emotional security, I have no right to sexual monopoly or exclusivity, what the fuck's in it for me then? As a non-primary part of the relationship I am expendable, I am insignificant and easily replaced. (Many people never want to be tied down to one person either through bad experiences ... divorce, bad property settlements.....) It could be that I take serious issue with two men doing it, not that I minded until they both start sleeping with the woman I'm also sleeping with then it becomes a problem because they risk exposing her and even me to whatever dormant STIs they may have or could have potentially picked up from any number of men they've slept with. There's also the hygiene argument as previous poster already stated ' twice the mess' if you're lucky. (This comes down to the agreement between all parties to be exclusive within this polyandry relationship ... before entering into it medical tests can reassure everyone is drug and/or disease free.) Conversely two women who are bisexual are possibly more selective and less likely to have an STI than a pair of bisexual men. All personal biases and sexual preferences aside, my biological, economic and social arguments A-H still stand up to scrutiny. (Nope not really.... besides who said anyone has to be bi?) So I guess the answer to your question would be no and no. Or more specifically yes but not personally and no. However I have known a couple of couples who have dabbled and in polygamy and imploded or nearly imploded as a result. (as do many conventional marriages) As for myself I would really like to be in a Polygamous relationship with a maximum of four girls, not only because the data is on my side but because that way I would have no incentive to cheat and perhaps more importantly I wouldn't get bored. I am not a believer in monogamy as a natural impulse yet I want a faithful loyalty-based relationship with a plurality of women to the exclusion of other men. What does that make me? (To each their own!)

  • MysteryMr

    MysteryMr

    10 years ago

    Paintmehappy - Make some space, and pass the popcorn. I hope its buttered. Meeka - Nice rebuttal to Devlin. Your comments I do agree with. sir_stir - Thanks for your insights. I think some cultures promote the taking of multiple wives, which is why we hear more about it. I don't think its a bragging thing. I think most people in poly relationships threat it as a part of everyday life. If anyones bragging, its probably his mates down the pub. Hey did you know Stevo has 2 hot wives... Cuckle_shells - I'll have to find copies of those shows to watch. Leo_girl - It's interesting hearing the customs of other cultures. I wasn't expecting this thread to take that turn, but I'm so glad it did. Thanks for all the responses so far, and why is it I'm suddenly craving popcorn.

  • couplefairride

    couplefairride

    10 years ago

    one for fucking, one for cooking, one for money, one for house work, one for intelligence... Hmmmm. Could work for me. Hard to find the complete package these days why not out source. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Relationships between two people are complicated. I can't even imagine how much more complication a third person might add to the mix. Three-way domestics! Think I'll stick with being single, inside my head is complicated enough alone.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'MysteryMr' Some interesting responses so far. Devlin - Very detailed response and great insights. I may not agree with all of them, but the whole point of the thread was to get different perspectives. Thanks. :-) Koko - Yes, Tilda Swinton came to mind when I posted this. From memory she took her lover to an awards ceremony with her. How cool is that. Europianbliss - Safe travels. Not sure what else to say. Im coupled with my minsen now.Would you require an explanation of Minsen.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    I don't think we need poly anything, but I do think increasing promiscuity would be a good thing. Not for my own selfish ends but as a glue for a closer more intimate society.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Its is a clear demonstration that women think differently to men, men like to duplicate to solve problems but how can two wives be better than a wife and girlfriend. Girls like to solve problems, having one husband is bad enough most aren't silly enough to have 2. A wife/husband is a single role, its only society and its moral code that defines the role. There is nothing to say you can't have a sexual partner or two, a young plaything or a more sensible companion in addition. Polyamorous groups suggest both partners should be consenting but how can one part of a couple rely on the other to agree to their sexuality/needs.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    monogamy suffocates women, but they keep wanting it.

  • totallygenuine

    totallygenuine

    10 years ago

    Polyamorous relationships with the wives/gf's of couples. Well I'm not married to them but I am involved in relationships with the wives/gf's of the couples atm. It's worked for me from over the years. Hubby/bf are all for it as well.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    all THREE are involved sexually???? It often seems to be about Men having more than one F, or a woman having two M's - what about a poly relationship where the women also love each other in all ways that count? Shaz

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting '50zcool' monogamy suffocates women, but they keep wanting it. It is how we are conditioned when we are young. we should all have more realistic views about love and relationships rather than the Prince Charming will come and save you scenario we are all feed when we are young.

  • Single_Guy4U

    Single_Guy4U

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'cumplaytime' all THREE are involved sexually???? It often seems to be about Men having more than one F, or a woman having two M's - what about a poly relationship where the women also love each other in all ways that count? Shaz Where do you find them ?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'Single_Guy4U' Quoting 'cumplaytime' all THREE are involved sexually???? It often seems to be about Men having more than one F, or a woman having two M's - what about a poly relationship where the women also love each other in all ways that count? Shaz Where do you find them ? If I told you I would have to kill you pmsl..

  • Single_Guy4U

    Single_Guy4U

    10 years ago

    Quoting 'cumplaytime' Quoting 'Single_Guy4U' Quoting 'cumplaytime' all THREE are involved sexually???? It often seems to be about Men having more than one F, or a woman having two M's - what about a poly relationship where the women also love each other in all ways that count? Shaz Where do you find them ? If I told you I would have to kill you pmsl.. I would die happy though

  • RHP

    RHP User

    3 years ago

    Yes, we have discussed exploring a mfm thrupple relationship with 'M' being the V. The liklihood of finding a 3rd though that 'M' could love and who is also looking for , or open to the idea of, such a relationship is pretty slim