F67
Polyandry or polyamory,would you consider a living arrangement like this.
May 29 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
When I was really interested in Polygamy, but these days not. I think I came to realise that living with two females under the one roof could be just too hard, not to mention all the side complications.I think Polyandry would be much more my style these days, if I was still inclined to go down that road.Polyamory is pretty interesting, but I don't think I have the time to do it justice these days.I think I would struggle with FWB these days, (again time) although that is my preference.ONS doesn't interest me much.I'm sure Lisa will have something interesting to say on this subject.Cheers Felonius
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xFunlovingx
13 years ago
I watched a show on this very subject on Foxtel and out of the 6 relationships that they showed...only one lot got on well with each other. In the other relationships one person didn't like the other or both couldn't stand each other! There did seem to be jealousies when the woman/man was in bed with the other partner as well. Was very eye opening as I have never met anyone in a relationship like this! . Would I do it? Nah, not for me! One man does my head in let alone two of them! I have no problems with others doing it...my only concern is the ones that don't like the other partner and there are kids around. Kids are more switched on to what is going on around them to what we think. I swear I could feel the tension come through the telly with 2 of the relationships! Also sadly one woman had picked her two partners over her kids and handed over custody of them to Welfare. That is just sad! Hugs...xFunlovingx
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RHP User
13 years ago
I actually raised the subject once with my first wife. ....Never made that mistake again.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have read The Ethical Slut which discusses all these concepts and types of relationships and how they might work, how to deal with jealousy, etc. Anybody interested in polyamory should read it. And can I say, it often sounds like bloody hard work. They describe situations were a couple might have a few different relationships outside the primary relationships. But of course most of the time the "others" don't actually live with main couple. Good friend of mine is married and has a boyfriend and they have made it work... although I am sure there was some very rocky times there..... then there is me. LOL Love the idea, and I think I could definitely be in polyamory relationships but I don't think I would like to have it as a permanent living arrangement. I have often wondered... who decides who sleeps where and on what nights? But you have limited yourself there Hesione... there can also be bisexuality involved too so that all partners could sleep with each other or at the same time on occasion too. xxMeeka
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RHP User
13 years ago
Was just watching a show on ABC about this very topic tonight. The questions were based around Australian law and how we deal with polygamous relationships & marriages. I was actually going to start a topic about it but I saw this one. What do you think? Should Australian law allow polygamous marriages? Should it be legal? Sorry I am not sure when to use what word. LMFAO. xxMeeka
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RHP User
13 years ago
I was just discussing this very thing this evening with my partner. He asked my thoughts and I said... . "It is hard enough to put up with one man...let alone two of you." . Then I asked him if he would like this situation and the answer came back..... . "Not in the same bloody house I wouldnt" . Lol.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I wouldnt like it. However my uncle did live with two women. He married one and both sisiters lived together with him. He had only children with his wife. His wife worked and the sister stayed in the home as hausemate.....it worked for them. He is now 81 his wife died 4 years ago and the sister is still alive....everybody knew but no one talked openly about it until now. I think we should let people decide how they liked to live and stop with the rules.
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Playful2looking
13 years ago
I think I would give it a try with two women or maybe another guy not because I think I am a big stud but because I actually like women and I am sexually attracted to some guys not all but some. I have seen so many lovely women on their own; either through divorce or the partner has died and I would love to make them happy. I like female company. I guess I am fairly comfortable with women and some men. I am bi sexual which means to me that i am a mixture of both sexes. I like to shop but also do boy stuff like fix things My soul mate is a woman who is simialr in that she is bisexual she also likes female company which means we probally would lean more towards FFM poly instead of MMF poly. The person we would bring into our family circle would have to fit in probally another bisexual. In our case i don't think a straight person would work. so either a bi lady or a bi guy. If we were to do the Polyamory thing. I guess in our case it would depend on the person or persons involved. A living arranment is a lot different then having play time with other people.A living arrangement would be like being married...Hmm not sure cheers D n C
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QLDtwo4fun
13 years ago
I would have said no way. Now I am aware of some unconventional arrangements that work for all of those envolved. As for Meeka's question, I think legislation should recognize these relationships, particularly as there are social security, inheritance and insurance implications. In a couple with a working member, the other partner is not eligible for social security benefits, in a multi partner arrangement they are. If the breadwinner in a multi partner arrangement dies intestate, the current system favors the marraige partner and offspring over the other claimants.
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RHP User
13 years ago
At least I'd get some help with the housework.
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RHP User
13 years ago
If you make it hard. I found living with another woman too hard, but the relationship with her in her own territory was much easier. It really is no big deal.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I can't even find one man to have me...I'd never be able to find two that want me lol then to find two that get along. Shit!! I think I'll just stay single lol Hugs roxxy
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justswingingbi
13 years ago
We once had a sleep over with a third (male) and I tell you, sleeping between two of them was a luxury I could well do with again! I would not like to share my husband with another wife, I think I'd just be too jealous, but I could certainly have to husbands. But then would my husband be okay? Don't know. He's fine sharing me for an afternoon or whatever while he's there.
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RHP User
13 years ago
It's always hard to separate ourselves from our social conditioning, but personally I am quite comfortable with my preference for monogamy no matter what the reason is for me feeling that way. For me it's not just that I wouldn't want to share my partner or myself sexually (although that is certainly the case), it is also that I value that awesome feeling of intimacy between us. It would be reduced if there was a third person of either gender let into our private world where we are us. People might argue against monogamy by saying that it's merely religion at the heart of it, consider it a form of oppression, bag it because it hasn't worked out for them, or believe that it's not in human nature because they were once cheated on or haven't found a person they've wanted to commit to, or whatever. I can empathise with all of that, but I don't share those outlooks. Accordingly, if people find personal happiness by perceiving that they are stretching boundaries or rebelling against social constructs to prove or disprove theories about human nature or beat a perceived enemy (be it religion, social norms, or the opposite sex) then I certainly don't aspire to convince them otherwise. I have no stake in trying to sell monogamy to anyone else. But because it works for me I'm not looking for an alternative. I've known people who seem to live their personal lives like a social experiment in the quest to be considered open-minded or find some 'new and undiscovered' form of relationship dynamic. And such people can get quite preachy about their views, as if their need to discredit monogamy (especially marriage) is some kind of cause for the greater good. But I've not yet seen those particular people find a degree of personal happiness in their own lives that would cause me to think they are onto something. Whatever choices are made, personal happiness is the only real benchmark.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'MsVelvetblue' It's always hard to separate ourselves from our social conditioning, but personally I am quite comfortable with my preference for monogamy no matter what the reason is for me feeling that way. For me it's not just that I wouldn't want to share my partner or myself sexually (although that is certainly the case), it is also that I value that awesome feeling of intimacy between us. It would be reduced if there was a third person of either gender let into our private world where we are us. I respect your choice MsVelvetblue and of course we could talk about this subject til the cows came home. I will say though, that I disagree with one of your comments, bringing a third person into the equation doesn't have to diminish what you and your partner have.. in fact it could very well enrich your bond and bring another dimension into your relationship. But each to their own. Alot of these scenarios, particularly the ones I read about in The Ethical Slut seem utterly fantastic and I am not sure how anyone could make them work on a long term basis. Again I personally wouldn't want to live in this situation full time. I want to be free! xxMeeka
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RHP User
13 years ago
well.. it worked out for a good time... until I told her her Mother was a better lay.. She replied quick a fck.. "Get fckd brother... our dad is better then you will EVER be!!"
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RHP User
13 years ago
Thanks for laugh bud! Cheers Felonius...might jump outta the sandpit for a while I think, lots of new testosterone here all of a sudden, might go and swing on da swing or go to me room and crank up the stereo.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I found when swinging and being with others did enhance my relationship with my partner and the other dimension was exciting however could I do it on a 24/7/365 basis...???...ah no Must admit I have not read The Ethical Slut but have seen you mention it before on other threads so off to download it. Thankyou for mentioning that Cheers
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RHP User
13 years ago
Cavey... Cousin, how you been!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I live polyamory and have done so for over 3 years now. THere is my husband Bryan, My partner John and I. We have a very stable and loving relationship ( there is NO boy stuff by the way).I get offended when people say to me " The sex must be great". Well i say it is not about sex....do i ask you about the sex with your husband, we are a threesome that live our lives together and i have a loving relationship with 2 men. THey love me and adhore me and treat me so great. I am busy Yes! i have 2 guys instead of one. BUT it is not about sex. Just like any relationships it is about communication.There is no jealousy here, we are just the best friends and lovers and everyone knows about us. My kids his family, our relations, our work colleges, and everyone!!!! we dont splash it out there, we dont put it in peoples faces we simply live together and enjoy our lives. John is 34 ( partner) Bryan is 61 and I am 47 ...it is awesome we do everything together.I see this as a very long term thing and so do they. If you watch "friends " on TV that is simply how our lives are....we are awesome friends all 3 of us and lovers as well.People ask me how does it work so well, I say i have no idea, but it just does.!The funniest part about all of this is the people in "the lifestyle" had a hard time getting used to it and understanding it. this is because i was seen to be breaking rules of the lifestyle. You see your not supposed to fall in love with someone else, swinging is about fucking!.But i am was never a player and it just happened and we all clicked. They would gossip about...OMG she is leaving bryan for John,....they are selling the business and Leesa is leaving Bryan...the gossip went on and on and we just laughed.Our personal friends and our families never judged and love John and Bryan and can see how well it works and they understood from the start which is more i can say for the swinging scene..lolNowdays we are just us, we have never socialized with swingers in our personal life and keep personal and work very seperate, we find that works so well for us.Being polyamorous is the best thing in the world, i am loved and have love and love 2 guys and nothing could be more special.Leesa
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RHP User
13 years ago
Gee that shut everyone up lol
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justswingingbi
13 years ago
For sharing your story... I have always wondered about how it might work with 2 men and a woman... We hear so much about plural marriage with one man (mormons etc) but not often the other way around.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'couplesint'Gee that shut everyone up lol Three years does not a life time make. In the greater scheme of things it is but a mere drop in the ocean of time.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Last year I read 'Sex At Dawn',,,the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality.The authors main motivation for writing the book was because they felt the high rate of divorce in western countries, was due mainly to infidelity. As children are often the ones who suffer most in these situations ,they wanted to explore other cultures and the different permutations of possible alternatives to the nuclear family .Monogamy they felt,was a choice and not a natural state of being for most humans. It was a facinating read,and along with the 'Ethical Slut" ,certainly gave me ,much food for thought. Thank you to everyone who posted.A particular thank you to you ,Leesa.
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RHP User
13 years ago
shut up just yetonly cus it is fri and zapping round where i can add a touch of spice to the night before i heed out3 in this house, meheedlesshorse - aithonwe all get on great and some times have a laugh some times just go to bed earlyoh and never really upsets any one who wins the argumentlol
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RHP User
13 years ago
It's complicated enough with our special needs child and the sibling of one.Although I have always said that out numbering yourself with kids seems crazy so if we had another we would get a mail order bride and if we had a 4th we would order a husband ;) heheheIf I was child free it would be a different story :) It would be good for me as my partner is home 1/2 the time......so if I was a particular fan of a playmate male or female and if my partner was a fan as well.......IT COULD WORK FOR US! It would be safer then me being child free and playing solo half the year!!! Hang on that sounds great :(.....I really want to go dancing right now (hang on a male that is not a fan of dancing and loves sleeping (stay at home baby sitter) :D and likes being woken up to me when I get back lol!Cass xxx
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