F51
Quitting sex...just for a while
February 20 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've had years of one night stands and flings. I've had years of committed love and more years of intense, extraordinary passion and connection. I've had weeks and months and days and nights of hook ups and adventure and experimentation. And now I choose celibacy because it's what my heart and spirit need. A bit over a year now and I'm in no hurry to change things :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
And considering a break.... My last few encounters whilst fun have not been extremely satisfying ....so have been thinking of a break.... Unless someone comes along and rocks my world - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
My celibate days/ weeks are only because I can't find the appropriate one to bonk!
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
A high quality problem.... some say first world problem. After my separation/divorce, there was a stage that sex was so frequent that it became just something to be done each day... a schedule with her, or her, or her, or both hers etc. And while it was always very enjoyable all 'round..... it was just lots of sex. So I stepped back and focussed on other elements of life, which was really great, although the texts kept coming lol. Now I look to sex more as a recreational pastime to be enjoyed while 'light' dating, with a view towards possibly finding a life partner..... As sacreligious as it is to some to say that in here. And the texts keep coming lol ;-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' A high quality problem.... some say first world problem. After my separation/divorce, there was a stage that sex was so frequent that it became just something to be done each day... a schedule with her, or her, or her, or both hers etc. And while it was always very enjoyable all 'round..... it was just lots of sex. So I stepped back and focussed on other elements of life, which was really great, although the texts kept coming lol. Now I look to sex more as a recreational pastime to be enjoyed while 'light' dating, with a view towards possibly finding a life partner..... As sacreligious as it is to some to say that in here. And the texts keep coming lol ;-) - Posted from rhpmobile DG, I've maintained for a while that you're as much a bragger and advertiser as all the other men you so vehemently criticise in here. Case in point - see the highlighted text above. It might be a tad more subtle than what some men write, but it's still tacky and attention-seeking. TBH, I don't really care what you or others do. But when I read your comments I did feel in the mood to point out your blatant double standard :)
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madotara69
11 years ago
DG, says a lot, good luck, we wish you the best it could be. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm enjoying taking a break. Like you, I found random sex totally unsatisfying (apart from one or two experiences!) and I just can't be arsed putting in the effort any more. Especially when it involves many other factors, like arranging baby sitters etc. So whilst I'm not looking for anything serious, I'm happy to wait to find somebody that I can connect with and with whom I can enjoy sex with. Quality over quantity.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Breeeeeeatheeeee. It's Friday. Try to laugh a little.... ie.... lol's ;-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dot you find fucking randoms boring after awhile? I literally can't be fucked with it all. :p
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RHP User
11 years ago
DG is being modest, I text him every day to ask if he is ready to meet strappy. And everyday he says no. *sob sob*
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes I'm in the same boat, can't be bothered with the effort of perpetration ie; baby sitter, waxing, make up only to find it's about them or no connection. I've found going out and flirting and kissing rocks my socks at the moment. Also I've also found from abstaining my orgasms are huge again from self pleasuring. Xx
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inspirit
11 years ago
..and it is fucking awesome....
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think everyone who is over sexed feels this at some point.... Rest time - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
11 years ago
Yes, I do lose interest, excitement and enjoyment in sex after a few random hookups! And I do take a break from sex and keep my body to myself every now and then. Surprisingly, I do enjoy the break away from sex for a long period of imposed celibacy:-) I joined RHP a year ago hoping to find a companion (some will call it a FWB), but haven't been able to find one yet. So, I'm a bit over the random hookups even though I have met some genuine and very nice gentlemen in the past year. I am now in the "sex is so boring with the randoms" mood again, and am thinking of taking a break! But will remain active in the Forums. Of course, I won't say no if someone with a strong mutual chemistry and connection (both mentally and physically) comes along. After all, I haven't given up faith in RHP to find what I seek :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
That this seems to be a common feeling and for the same reasons. Funny how the excitement of the random turns sour quickly. Maybe my what I'm actually searching for is different to what I think I am, but I just haven't cottoned on yet, and my libido has let me know before I figured it out. I agree that in these parts of town, it seems that you shouldn't be looking for more than a hook up, but it appears that for us single folk, it may not actually be the case. I kind of thought of here as a way to keep my skills in the saddle up until I found in the "real world" what I was looking for, but maybe that's not the right approach for me. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
It sounds to me what you went through is quite normal behavior. I believe a lot of people when they first hit this site have expectations, that they will get all the sex in the world and will root just anyone, have random sex, believe they will get free sex etc etc I also believe some people will use this site and sex as a void, as they don't want to face reality or their own problems. They are in denial. After a while reality kicks in, it gets boring to them and they soon realize what they are doing is not healthy to them, their bodies or to others. I also believe it is healthy to focus on ones self for a while, get to know self as knowing as it does make room for healthier choices when it come to choosing prospective people or making better choices in life. Brings on self-confidence I reckon. I'm sure a lot of people have done exactly that, as I have mentioned. To me, I believe people have to go through that to realize and understand their emotions to make better choices. I believe it is really healthy to break from sex for a while and focus on other things in life and getting to know self. If one truly loves ones self, it will attract the same. Foxy
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Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
I have found after many years on this earth that random sex is just that. It serves its purpose at certain times in our lives. I have reached a point where there has to be a mental connection & an ability to communicate. I don't make a point of being celibate, more that it occurs as I don't do Random Sex. Its not a conscience decision, more it happens as I haven't clicked with anyone. Taking the Celibate thought further, if you have made the decision to be celibate for a certain time period, could you miss out on a potential life partner by having a blanket rule?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't believe I have used sex for avoidance of any thing, I'm very fortunate in that I have a lovely life and I'm very happy with my little world. I'm rather comfortable with who I am as well, which is again a nice thing to be able to say. I think that when you stumble across a place that suddenly opens up sex in a way you've never had before, it's kind of easy to get lost in it. I've had an education I never expected! Taking the break seems healthy though, before it all gets ugly, and who wants to ruin sex?! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just letting this evolve on it's own accord, when the feeling changes, I'll go with that change too. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Violetincredible
11 years ago
For example maybe I get into light bdsm and ropes etc with a regular partner then after a while it all becomes routine and predictable and I lose interest (i know this because im planning what i need to buy at the shops during it:/) Then I will stop meeting him and maybe become more interested in girls and dressing and undressing and photographing them... Suddenly sex feels all alive and I'm focused again :) And so on- I tend not to go into celibacy but change my sexual interest but I think it is the same sort of thing! I think it is important to own and fully inhabit and respect your body and your mind in anyway that I tend to go through phases and when I feel like I am going to far in one way stop and change direction in what I am doing sexually. Xx violet
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Violetincredible
11 years ago
Had a bit of an issue with editing and my phone in that last post... Hopefully it makes some sense!! X
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gazpacho
11 years ago
Spare a thought for those people who want a shag but have no immediate prospects? Ahhh yes.... The old self imposed celibacy.... It's like being a vegan. No animal products please. Except with your junk, it's a case of use it or lose it. You have to keep that snapper from sealing shut like a toasted cheese muffin.... Sex is good for your completion, for blood circulation, it increases your dopamines... and it's a great social activity in the company of like minded others. If the edge is taken off it, you're either doing it wrong... Or placing expectations where none should exist. Hugs Gazpacho
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RHP User
11 years ago
Having sex with randoms one on one is freakin boring. And I stand by that position! :p From the finding them, and the emails, and the meet up.... I really really really can't be bothered. And if you meet men for random ONS it's not that good really. Maybe my expectations... But jack rabbits and men that rush.. Well. I am afraid men have ruined it for themselves. If they made more of an effort or understood how the ladies like it then more ladies would be having sex. 😜
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RHP User
11 years ago
Although I agree with that, I know if I go without for awhile my sex drive really drops and I hardly think about it. So being celibate becomes easier and easier. Maybe something that should be avoided?. I know that on my death bed I am not going to be saying, " thank god I went without sex all that time."
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chevtrek
11 years ago
But for a diifferent reason . Sex is cool but when you are searching for more it can loose its zing . Have a nice fun relaxed break.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I get why people go to swingers, its a lot easier to just go get naked and get what you need. So its like doing a bulk shop. One on One is a lot more exhausting, in that us women have to primp, shave, wax, tweek and find the right pretty undies, do our hair, smell good, bring the condoms etc etc etc or mostly do the hosting. then the guy knocks on the door, usually with a hard cock, walks in unzips, feeds you tube steak and goes. there you are, rumpled sheets you have to wash, pick up strewn condom wrappers, clean up the dips and crackers, empty the last of the wine, look at yourself in the mirror and see that great cocky hair or that just fucked hair, and eyes like alice cooper where the cum hit, mouth with lipstick smeared. Takes a half a day to get ready and then ten minutes of sex and hour to clean up. Open your draw and take out your toy, because your worth itand it cost less in time and money. god I need to get LAID lol, I am a cranky cranky woman
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is it really so surprising that 'rando' sex gets boring and we start looking for a real connection with someone!? Jeez, I'm no saint but It's kinda obvious to me that sex is way better If you actually care about your partner and vice versa..... some people actually call it 'making love' ;D Sex doesn't exist in a vacuum, sexuality isn't cut off from the rest of life, of course you should have a break and not force it, be interested in life and you'll be horny! Find a hobby!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I much prefer Fwb's. Unfortunately the one I had for 8 years, met him here, has gone to greener pastures. Have been trying to replace him, not easy though. I don't like ONS, find them unfulfilling and they don't sit well with me. I am the kind of girl who likes ongoing sex with the same person. Unfortunately you don't always know when you meet someone you like Whether they will just drop you after sex, as that does happen.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Breeeeeeatheeeee. It's Friday. Try to laugh a little.... ie.... lol's ;-) - Posted from rhpmobile I had a good laugh, in fact ;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Somethingnew. Understand where your'e coming from here. Fucking without emotion does take its toll sooner or later. Taking time out to re find your mojo is not a bad thing. These days I'm fussy about who comes into my bed which means more quite time than before, but it's well worth it.. Jay.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The soul needs what the soul needs! And the heart wants, what the heart wants!!
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