RHP

RHP User

F72

Rejection

January 26 2013

The oh dear moments. I have never got a nasty message till now on rhp and that’s been a year on here for me. First message from Him: hi sweetie, you are an extraordinary woman and I love it. I am and single,I live in Rockingham and would very much like to meet you please let me know. my pic is in my private back yard on Sunday lol   Me: thank you for your interest ,but right now I busy and sorry were not a match him:you know, I try to be raunchy here but no good then I try to be nice n again no good then when someone like you comes along a does a quick judge with out meeting me mind you!! then I am damned. we have really lost the art of talking to each other..you have a nice life     Me :that is so unfair a woman is dammed if she replies and dammed if she tells the truth I am busy, I am married and I have a shit load of men that’s the sad part about RHP for women its open slather Yes we have lost the art of talking to each other, but I am not on her for that so I guess you picked the wrong woman. I am married,so I do not want to meet people for a conversation or to be friends, I have random lovers when I feel like it and for you to just tar me and feather me is not fair, you picked me and I said no its that simple and now you are pissed of at me, perhaps read profiles that may suit you better or go on a romantic date site or better still go out in the real world , grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr     Him :well, you being married and you here!!! I feel sorry for your husband ( the poor ,poor man god help him )you may be a free spirit but at the end of it what are you really??   ME my husband knows I am rhp I am happy for him to have other women, we do not own each other. I am just an ordinary woman with a normal sex drive, who happens to have an open mind about sex perhaps that is why I do not get angry at rejection not everyone is matched to every man on RHP If you have this attitude where you feel you have to insult a person you do not know, then you have a lot to lean even at your age. My husband is seven years younger than me, is fireman and fit as a fiddle and treats me as real men treat a woman. the last thing he needs is to go on line looking for sex, I do it to find younger lovers and i can do that just by walking to the pub and I do not drink did it last night and had a lover home in my bed , with no problem at all. I think your pity is self directed , change your attitude and life may be more rewarding for you in the end I am a free spirit yes, and I am happy and I try to make other people happy. thats what its about for me the joy of living and being a woman. all the best for your search, try not to insult a woman when she says no to you.   This poor man has closed of his profile. I really fell for men its so hard and they have to take a hammering from rejection. I had to tell a man the same thing in the pub as he smoked and I could smell it on him. Right now I am getting text messages from him, as it was his mate that I chose and said mate has give my number to this guy. He is telling me he is giving up the smokes to day and how long before I sleep with him...I said never as I was not attracted to him,so that’s hard to tell a guy. So guys a bit of advice, just take it on the chin or try to be a little nice as who know , you may make a friend who has a friend that may just like you. Don’t burn your bridges. And I still wonder if I let him down nice or if something I said cut to the bone it was the last straw for him and he closed his profile off now? Any suggestions or stories of your own about rejection how you handle it, what presses your buttons.

Comments

  • subgal_gc

    subgal_gc

    12 years ago

    I have had my fair share of abuse when I have politely rejected a contact request from a guy, often for a variety of reasons. I have a template reply that reads something along the lines of, Thanks for you email however I am currently not meeting new people, I wish you all the best with your search. It amazes me how many guys have abused me with the answer of if you are not meeting new people why the f*#k are you on here. And don't get me started on the messages I get with nothing more than great you're submissive lets f*#k, without so much as a hi how are you.... I may be submissive in the bedroom but that does not make me a doormat. And if the guys bothered to read my profile they would already know that!So Tuscanred I believe we are damned if we do and damned if we don't reply to emails..even if we are polite and give a good reason whatever that may be. I think some guys are just not able to accept rejection, perhaps they were always told they could have whatever they wanted growing up and never learnt the meaning of the word NO.

  • perthangler

    perthangler

    12 years ago

    hi tr I've been rejected by the best and know it is not a personal thing against me but a personal choice of the person I messaged no biggie. When you clik you clik when you don't tough move on. Don't worry bout him just be you natural lovely free spirited self and keep doin what pleases you Tony

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I am the master...er mistress.I never want to hurt anyones feelings so I usually just tell them that they are far too hot for me. If they require more information I tell them it's not them it's me.Am I being disingenous,no because it is true....hot young men are wayyyyy out of my comfort zone.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    MMM.....well I dont have any probs rejecting..Im always polite and nice - till pushed....   But you know...I say thanks but no thanks in a very polite way and I still get replies like this   Last week gems:       "Obvioulsy Im too smart for you " ............um yeah your rite - your are, what would I know ??? !!!!   "Thanks for letting me waist (yeah spelt correctly) my message on you u dumb cunt" - ...Yeah Ive got one and you must be buddies with the above guy - Im embracing my dumbness at the moment - cause Im brilliant the other 6 days of the week   "You can just fuck off then" - um - but you contacted me ?????????       Guess it must be the WA - SOR way of wooing women...............on that note got myself a good dvd to watch tonite...yay

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I think it's more the the it takes to reply. I would have taken that as an out an out rejection and I'm female. As you pointed out its slater for women and not enough to ho around. Not defending him but understanding of both sides. In the end it is of course as he stated, Gettinb to know someone, but finding out its not just rejection of him? that should have helped. Though obviously for him not !! Lol- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    By no rights am I trying to defend these men and thier actions. From a guys perspective it sucks being rejected constantly. Obviously we out number the ladies one billion fold so it's that nature of the site. To me rejection is rejection, wether we get no response, a polite "no spank you" or a down right 'fuck off'. I learnt pretty quickly what my chances are on here meeting someone that I'm attracted too so I changed my profile to state my only interest is in the forums. That way I don't personally feel like a loser who can't get any. I think a lot of men think the way I did when they join that this site is just like real life just on a computer. I personally get more and better attention in real life. I think it is harder to hook up on here especially as a married man than it would if me meet people in person in a pub or bar. So it can be quite a kick in the balls to hear yet another "sorry im not interested, but good luck". Although it gives no excuse for rudness and abuse. Micksecrets

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Long before I was on this site , I always worked on the Law of Averages . If I approach ten women then it's likely that one woman will say 'yes'. I am prepared for nine 'rejections'. I would never abuse a woman because she wasn't interested in me. We are all entitled to be fussy because Chemistry is so important. Knowing that there are so many Men to choose from , on this Site , I prefer to let Women approach me . I will respond to all Messages in a polite manner because I understand that it can be difficult for someone to make the first move. I'm annoyed to hear that there are so many abusive Men here. They give the rest of us a bad name. So I will appologise on their behalf.... Sorry! One should never abuse a Goddess , for fear of Her Wrath ;)- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I think one of the reasons these men are cut so deep is their perception that women on here are just sluts, bottom of the barrell. And yet even these women reject them. And so the bitterness festers. They are here with an old school attitude for perhaps the wrong reasons, but such is life. Tuscan I admire your compassion. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    some messages i send i dont get a reply at all so if i get a polite reply back i think its good then at least you know and can move on to someone else.I'll always send a return saying thanks for your reply and good luck to you.I've never had a nasty reply and hoping i never do. BE HAPPY PEOPLE

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    One Million to go, DAM what a hard life we make for out selves................Tuscanred you sex little vixen..... I hope we can have a coffee and chat one day Loving GT

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    One should never abuse a Goddess , for fear of Her Wrath ;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I find the women on here are less emotional when it comes to rejection. It could be due to the fact that I am always polite and civil when suggesting we are possibly not a match or it could be due to the fact that it is a very infrequent experience for women to be rejected.... Actually, I'd rather not use be word rejection.....it is rather harsh is it not?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    What can I say? They usually get over it.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I've had to stop replying to anything less than 2 sentences. They are always the ones that get nasty. One guys messaged me today " come and get it" Hmm no thanks. If you can't even say hello I'm not bothering to say no thanks - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'tabithawench' " come and get it" That's a saying from the cooking show: Come and get it, come and get it with Peter Russel Clarke.... Maybe this guy thinks he a cook GT

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It's a shame that people can't read a profile and send a message to suit. We aren't all everyone's cup of tea and not everyone will reply.. You have a healthy marriage and life TR, it's a shame that due to they're insecurities they feel the need to try and drag you down to their level..- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I have been on RHP for almost three years and in that time I have only had maybe 5 responses that have been rude or crass. Not sure why? When I get send a "thank you but no thank you" email the response I usually get back thanks me for replying to their email and wishing me luck. Or maybe I have a selective memory? I certainly don't engage in conversation with the rude dickheads. Can't be bothered.I have had a few (3- 4) really rude and personally abusive emails about my profile or something I have written on the forum. It is really shocking to me when that happens and makes me feel bad for a little while.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'worksaway79'It's a shame that people can't read a profile and send a message to suit. We aren't all everyone's cup of tea and not everyone will reply.. You have a healthy marriage and life TR, it's a shame that due to they're insecurities they feel the need to try and drag you down to their level..- Posted from rhpmobile Now please put on your shirt as I cant stop licking my monitor

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    12 years ago

    It may matter if it was from someone you know.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100'I have been on RHP for almost three years and in that time I have only had maybe 5 responses that have been rude or crass. Not sure why? When I get send a "thank you but no thank you" email the response I usually get back thanks me for replying to their email and wishing me luck.   Same, think I've had two rude responses in the last five months. Most men write back saying they appreciated my "Thank you, but..." response. And Jensman: I don't think I'd ever get over it if you rejected me.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Any (initial) email starting with sweetie, hun or babe, gets a definite "no" reply. That is one of my biggest pet peeves.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Ms_Devious' Any (initial) email starting with sweetie, hun or babe, gets a definite "no" reply. That is one of my biggest pet peeves. It is even better when it is from someone young enough to be your son. What the? In the real world too I find it strange when a younger woman in a shop calls me darling or hon as well. Its plain weird... or do they think I am younger than them or something. OMG, am I turning into an old fart that demands respect from the younger folk? You know in my day youngsters had respect for their elders.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I've had a perspective change since I had my eyes opened quite a lot over the weekend. I still think these guys are dumbarses. But I must concede I've been guilty of allowing rejection affect me. I wouldn't go as far as to suggest that I'd reply like the op's dumbarse, however, it does get you down.I spent a night out with 3 gorgeous women from here, and have walked away from that experience with the view that us guys are here to assist a woman in HER journey. It's nothing to do with what our journey is. Should we feel negative about it?? No...it should be respected, and cherished if you're able to share in any woman's journey......I could be wrong though.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Never have run into this problem, but I don't message too many women though I did have one girl take what I said totally the wrong way when I messaged her. I just got a polite rejection when I wasn't actually coming on to her :-/ most girls just ignore if they aren't interested

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Ghostbusters'I spent a night out with 3 gorgeous women from here, and have walked away from that experience with the view that us guys are here to assist a woman in HER journey. It's nothing to do with what our journey is. Should we feel negative about it?? No...it should be respected, and cherished if you're able to share in any woman's journey......I could be wrong though. Really? Well, you certainly assisted one lucky lady...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    When in Fact in real life...it happens. For me it means if I listen to a negative it means make room for self improvement for a positive outcome... Sheeze some people just don't know how to "react" to rejection...it hurts their ego, self esteem and self wort.. Yet to receive my first abusive email....I think if I were to get one I would thank my lucky stars... Can you imagine what they'd like in real life outside of hiding behind their computers????? ERRRR no thanks screams abuse to me!!!- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    No no no no!! Its isn't about her journey or your journey or his journey. Its about OUR journey.What you most likely saw was three strong independent women who know what they want. I for one want a strong, and okay I admit it, dominant man. Someone who takes control in the bedroom. I want to give up all my control..... now that is a turn on. Oh...but I have again taken it back to me me me again. OopsWhere are all the men who know how to treat a strong confident woman who wants to be submissive in the bedroom huh? Here is another Australian saying. WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    If I were rejected in real life' maybe that would have me questioning why. But rejection here is different.. I dont know how any guy could take it to heart. Its long been my opinion there are lots of females here reject anyone and everyone either just for the hell of it or to feed their ego, and I dont count being snubbed for a difference of opinion as rejection.. In real life' we get to see and chat face to face and you know how things are going.. you dont get that here.. Its too easy to give the flick to someone with the stroke of a few keys...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Want to take that one?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Ghostbusters' I spent a night out with 3 gorgeous women from here, and have walked away from that experience with the view that us guys are here to assist a woman in HER journey. It's nothing to do with what our journey is.I'm no egotist or narcissist but it is about a 'shared journey' surely? I do not place myself over another and vice versa. I walk with someone a while along a path of their/mine/our choosing...it is not about, 'her' journey.....The path is always your own - essentially.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Philosopherpoet' Quoting 'Ghostbusters' I spent a night out with 3 gorgeous women from here, and have walked away from that experience with the view that us guys are here to assist a woman in HER journey. It's nothing to do with what our journey is. Sorry - the above post should have looked like this - rather than a continuation of your quote.I'm no egotist or narcissist but it is about a 'shared journey' surely? I do not place myself over another and vice versa. I walk with someone a while along a path of their/mine/our choosing...it is not about, 'her' journey.....The path is always your own - essentially.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' No no no no!! Its isn't about her journey or your journey or his journey. Its about OUR journey.What you most likely saw was three strong independent women who know what they want. I for one want a strong, and okay I admit it, dominant man. Someone who takes control in the bedroom. I want to give up all my control..... now that is a turn on. Oh...but I have again taken it back to me me me again. OopsWhere are all the men who know how to treat a strong confident woman who wants to be submissive in the bedroom huh? Here is another Australian saying. WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU? Totally agree with the 'shared' aspect of the journey.I like what you say about giving up control to a dominant male. I incline towards being dominant but recognise that the true power always sits within the 'sub' for they silently dictate the flow of events....that is, on the surface the dominant holds the chains, whip, body part etc but the 'sub' only has to say 'stop' and it is game over....The dominant male, therefore, is powerless without the interest, will, consent etc of the divine sub ;-)Danny x

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    12 years ago

    twat

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    There was a word deleted from my previous post to define our.... I had used square brackets and that had been the component that was deleted.....when I say OUR journey I was referring to men. Of course it's about the COUPLES journey, but the focus IS essentially on what the LADY wants. The men are there to provide and to lead that fantasy....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    While I love helping girls to fulfill some fantasies, there are ones that I would love to have fulfilled and the only way for them to be fulfilled would be for the woman/women to take control. It's all very well to lead but sometimes it's nice to relinquish control over to them ;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Speaka de English will ya!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    DEC 13TH MALE: I'd love to hear from you?JAN 28TH MALE: I dare you...Talk to meJAN 28TH ME: Thanks but no thanks.All the best SUPERFOXJAN 28TH MALE: WOW, so full of your self, your obviously arogant, shallow and empty...Good Luck with that.Like WTF?? who says that - I DARE YOU TO TALK TO ME??Aren't we ADULTS on this site not in pre-school???This poor man obviously has no idea how to deal with rejection very well...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Well I would have worded it differently. Saying thanks but no thanks is a little sharp sometimes. In my opinion anyway.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    As mentioned in another thread, I don't make their problem my problem. I actually learnt that in a book dealing with toddler tantrums. Same same really. ;-)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It does read differently knowing you and not knowing you I think. But you did say all the best! One of my templates: Hi there, thank you for your email, I appreciate you taking the time to write. You're not quite what I'm looking for though I'm afraid, so all the best and happy hunting! Devious One click of the button and it's sent.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Lol

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Ms_Devious' It does read differently knowing you and not knowing you I think. But you did say all the best! One of my templates: Hi there, thank you for your email, I appreciate you taking the time to write. You're not quite what I'm looking for though I'm afraid, so all the best and happy hunting! Devious One click of the button and it's sent. PMSL...Happy Hunting from a Fox... I like the sound of that.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    A little hardcore there...Must say I have not gone off. I understand some women get like hundreds of messages and skim thru.I did get a nice rejection (yes! there was such a thing), I replied back saying dont be sorry, all is good. All the best in what u seek...Now, why is that just so hard????I personal fav's are those who flirt back asking to message and when u do, they either:Dont reply,Block u, say no interested..Like... OI! u flirted back...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Hey RHP's, Well just let me say this is the first time I’ve ventured into the forums so please be gentle if I accidently step on anyone’s toes... but here go's... Reading this, I just don’t understand why this individual is SO cut up?!?! Yeah it sux to have someone say... not interested... or I busy... hell sometimes even an “it’s not you it’s me” can still be bitter on the tongue... I could understand hostility if you turned round and said "yeah not even if the world turned to watery jelly and you were the only hard thing left"... that would hurt!!! Hell I am man enough to admit that I don’t get many replies let alone what I would consider a pleasant not thankyou on here! But hey, that’s life. You don’t turn around to the guy/girl that just said you’re not suitable for the new job you are going for and say "&#*k you" even if you really want to, you bite your tongue and say your pleasantries hold your head up and walk out!! To me it really isn’t any different than someone abusing someone at a night club because they aren’t interested in how good your moves are on the floor!!! Well I’ve said my two cents... or reading back maybe its twenty bucks... but have fun all!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    nice reply very mature thing to say..we arent everyones cup of tea...but you defo are mine..see you when you get back..;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Wow!! You've been fairly lucky then, TR.   Love your approach, Freya.   And 50zcool, I think you may be onto something there.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    He asked me how I decide who to meet as I would receive numerous messages, I responded with a few things that I notice, didn't direct at him. I think the message says it all... HIM: Boy to juge some one on gramma ,spelling boy u are shallow and I'm glad u have seed what u have seed ,Shit and I thought I liked u,I thought I had better judgement I gues in your cass not But I will tell u most of the richest men and woman in the world don't have good gramma ,would u say no to Tom cruse ,and a lote of others My company turns about 12 mil a year and it's got nothing todo with gramma I have good friend ,I have been devorced 3 year ago Why don't u put in your profile if u can't spell or if u have bad gramma don't bother it might cut down the amount of mail u get So I wish u all the best as I think u might be here a lote longer then me Block me if u like ME: I wouldn't even have coffee with Tom Cruise... He's too bloody short!- Posted from rhpmobile

  • Letsparty2gether

    Letsparty2gether

    12 years ago

    I'm of the belief that its always better to know than not know. I'll take a rejection message versus no message any day of the week.At least you know.To all you girls that have the courtesy to say "thanks but no thanks" from us genuine decent guys out there... THANK YOU!!Mind you if all you get is a "lets fuck" or "Hi Babe" then of course by all means ignore that :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'OneEmerald'He asked me how I decide who to meet as I would receive numerous messages, I responded with a few things that I notice, didn't direct at him. I think the message says it all... HIM: Boy to juge some one on gramma ,spelling boy u are shallow and I'm glad u have seed what u have seed ,Shit and I thought I liked u,I thought I had better judgement I gues in your cass not But I will tell u most of the richest men and woman in the world don't have good gramma ,would u say no to Tom cruse ,and a lote of others My company turns about 12 mil a year and it's got nothing todo with gramma I have good friend ,I have been devorced 3 year ago Why don't u put in your profile if u can't spell or if u have bad gramma don't bother it might cut down the amount of mail u get So I wish u all the best as I think u might be here a lote longer then me Block me if u like ME: I wouldn't even have coffee with Tom Cruise... He's too bloody short!- Posted from rhpmobile with all that money he could by his own real life girl   I cant spell for shit either, dyslexic but I do use the spell check most times.   do you think he makes dick on arries , thats how he got so fucking rich?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'tuscanred' Quoting 'OneEmerald'He asked me how I decide who to meet as I would receive numerous messages, I responded with a few things that I notice, didn't direct at him. I think the message says it all... HIM: Boy to juge some one on gramma ,spelling boy u are shallow and I'm glad u have seed what u have seed ,Shit and I thought I liked u,I thought I had better judgement I gues in your cass not But I will tell u most of the richest men and woman in the world don't have good gramma ,would u say no to Tom cruse ,and a lote of others My company turns about 12 mil a year and it's got nothing todo with gramma I have good friend ,I have been devorced 3 year ago Why don't u put in your profile if u can't spell or if u have bad gramma don't bother it might cut down the amount of mail u get So I wish u all the best as I think u might be here a lote longer then me Block me if u like ME: I wouldn't even have coffee with Tom Cruise... He's too bloody short!- Posted from rhpmobile with all that money he could by his own real life girl   I cant spell for shit either, dyslexic but I do use the spell check most times.   do you think he makes dick on arries , thats how he got so fucking rich? @Tuscan. You can get glasses for it. Knowing that you take the effort to make sure that your posts are legible makes it even more impressive for me. I also agree with letsparty, I would rather know instead of getting the silent treatment. I however, like to keep it civil and I am in no position to judge anyone as I am on this site the same as everyone else here. I have enough dramas at work and don't need to bring it here. Do I feel rejected when I get a no response. Sometimes, but I quickly snap out of it. After all, it is up to me to convince you to meet me. If you don't want to it either means I did a poor job or I am not the droid you are looking for (that is a famous quote from Star Wars if anyone is wondering).I guess I am comfortable with being myself, knowing my strengths and weaknesses so I don't have to throw impressive titles or how much money I have to others. I tend to talk to people as people instead of looking at their status. In the case of that message Tuscan, I would have ended it earlier than you. You do not have to justify yourself to him or anyone, except yourself.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'goinghard1981' Hey RHP's, Well just let me say this is the first time I’ve ventured into the forums so please be gentle if I accidently step on anyone’s toes... but here go's... Reading this, I just don’t understand why this individual is SO cut up?!?! Yeah it sux to have someone say... not interested... or I busy... hell sometimes even an “it’s not you it’s me” can still be bitter on the tongue... I could understand hostility if you turned round and said "yeah not even if the world turned to watery jelly and you were the only hard thing left"... that would hurt!!! Hell I am man enough to admit that I don’t get many replies let alone what I would consider a pleasant not thankyou on here! But hey, that’s life. You don’t turn around to the guy/girl that just said you’re not suitable for the new job you are going for and say "&#*k you" even if you really want to, you bite your tongue and say your pleasantries hold your head up and walk out!! To me it really isn’t any different than someone abusing someone at a night club because they aren’t interested in how good your moves are on the floor!!! Well I’ve said my two cents... or reading back maybe its twenty bucks... but have fun all!!! I do have to agree with you. How you handle yourself in the face of rejection shows your character. That is my two cents, which in this day and age is rounded down to zero.