F55
Relationship ?
March 01 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
Swingers can be narrow minded and conservative too!! In all honesty, we are all generalizing when we answer this question I think. I have met loads of really wonderful people, men and women, who are open minded enough to persue a connection via RHP if they met the right person. As in the real world, there are lots of twats and then there are people who have the same values and beliefs as you do. Trick is recognition who the users on RHP are. Just my thoughts.
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ruby_blossum
10 years ago
Everyone has a heart. Everyone deserves to give love and to be loved in return. ....regardless of where you are lucky enough to find it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
On a man"s profile..I don't want to get close...I only want to meet no more than once a month..I just want to get dirty...At least he I honest xxFreya
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ruby_blossum
10 years ago
I may not be interested that he is emotionally unavailable.... ...love his honesty as it gives me a pretty good idea of what he is prepared to offer. The choice to go there or not, is then all mine. Always prefer an honest choice over lies and manipulation.
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RHP User
10 years ago
why being online and being in the real world are considered 2 entirely different things. It is like another planet where we are allowed to misbehave, lie, cheat, treat people like shit, then be happy with ourselves about it! Ye-fucking-ha! I am no less human online than I am in the real world and I am sick of being treated as such also. You can't see my mannerisms or hear my voice except via webcam but you also can't see my joy at chatting to someone nor the hurt I feel when I am just used and lied to again. You don't see the black hole that grows inside me as I become more hollow and jaded because I am not worth a reply, I am not worth showing up for, I am not worth a kiss as you are fucking me, I am not worth seeing out the door when I leave, I am not worth another phone call because you got what you want out of me.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Ralf I say this with the greatest respect, you need to stop fucking any Tom, Dick and Harry that falls across your path. That is the impression I have received from the comments you have made on here. If you don't treat yourself with respect why do you expect others too? It is a horrible thing to say but people don't appreciate or value what comes too cheaply and with that my mind, that is why I believe a lot of men on RHP don't view women as being worthy of a relationship. We are too easy. Hell, that is why I don't get turned on by the hook up culture. Too easy, too ordinary, no excitement, no mystery. Maybe in some weird twisted way my views are too old fashioned but I think there is definitely a grain of truth to what I have said.
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ruby_blossum
10 years ago
I "liked" your post, not because of your sad yet too true words for many at times, I liked that once again you expressed how badly you feel. How nice it would be if men & women took just a moment to read your words ( and similar words from many others at times) and realise the impact their impersonal, self indulgent behaviour has on someone. big hugs from me.
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ruby_blossum
10 years ago
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RHP User
10 years ago
And by too easy I mean that there is no excitement of the chase, there is no having to make things work, there is no trying to woo each other and impress each other. If men are treating women this way. No kissing, no walking out the door, no niceties at all. Well they can just fuck right off. How dare they! Where is the respect?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Must say I agree with Meeka (and Ruby too). With all respect, I think you sound like a great person. You have made several comments about men treating you less than respectful, and my impression is that these guys treat you like crap because you let them get far enough to be able to do so. If they won't kiss you during sex, it makes me wonder how they got into your bed/wherever in the first place. Did you ignore any warning signs? Demand respect before you let them near your bits, not after, would be my suggestion (if you asked for one). x
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ruby_blossum
10 years ago
Those fluffy romantics with rose colored glasses ! Really hope they do have a "safe" place to fall when the inevitable happens.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Like I said on a different forum: I see RHP as an adult dating site (funny that), and treat it as such. Men looking for casual hook-ups can move one, as we are not what the other person is looking for. I'm looking for long-term lovers and potentially more, not one night stands, and I've met more than a handful of men here (both on dates and at Meet and Greets) who are genuinely looking for the same. It's just a matter of finding that person who wants the same thing as you, and there are definitely many out there!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Ruby, I believe a lot of us make that rookie mistake when we first come to this hook up type of culture. We fall for someone or start to think that maybe there could be more. Then it all comes crashing down around our ears. Hopefully most of us start to "get" what it is all about but I have seen women on here that keep falling for one casual guy after the other. I don't know. To me falling in love would be an incredibly rare thing not something you do every Sunday and twice on a Wednesday. But of course everyone is different, maybe I am too cynical. Someone who only just met me once told me that he could see that I was too cynical and that I probably missed out a lot of opportunities because of it. Maybe,
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RHP User
10 years ago
Too true !!! Amy
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ruby_blossum' Those fluffy romantics with rose colored glasses ! Really hope they do have a "safe" place to fall when the inevitable happens. Over time I've seen so many women here who want a man that will love them, protect them, treat them like a princess, yadda yadda yadda. Thing I've found though is that the expectations from many of these women are so high no man could ever live up to them, and more often than not the women don't actually think they deserve any of these things and/or don't believe any man could possibly be great. Forum after forum has been posted of women meeting a guy and wanting him to be perfect so badly, they miss all the warning signs. Then they get stood up, abused, etc. and complain here. Should a guy be the real deal, a woman like this will find a way to sabotage it because it appears too good to be true and they don't deserve to be treated so well. Obviously there must be something wrong, and they'll find it if it's the last thing they do. Some women, not all women of course. But if you read the fora, there are so many examples of women not respecting themselves enough and letting jerks walk all over them.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I do agree. I am too easy but I don't go in fucking people disrespectfully. I know it is just sex, but I still consider anyone I have sex with as a person that is worth my time and effort. I am not screwing them if I am not attracted to them, I have chatted with a lot of them for some time before leaping into bed, not always the case but I do for the most part. I chat to many I will never sleep with because I value people as people.
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Violetincredible
10 years ago
You can't know what a person is really like until you see them in that situation. It doesn't just happen online and it doesn't just happen to you. It's just seeing a persons true colours- you then have the choice to how you react. The bit where your illusion is shattered always hurts. Xxviolet
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' I do agree. I am too easy but I don't go in fucking people disrespectfully. I know it is just sex, but I still consider anyone I have sex with as a person that is worth my time and effort. I am not screwing them if I am not attracted to them, I have chatted with a lot of them for some time before leaping into bed, not always the case but I do for the most part. I chat to many I will never sleep with because I value people as people. But it is not just sex though is it. It is showing each other respect as people. And if you are investing a lot of time in them and then they treat you this way. Well I can understand how damaging that can be to somebody. I think you should just not do this online dating thing anymore. It is hurting you as person and that isn't a good thing.
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RHP User
10 years ago
stages I have been through that I also know others have been though. I am currently fine, happy in fact. I am referring to those times when you see people need a break. There is a lot of bullshit to sift through on here, it is unhealthy to have to over think, over analyse, read between the lines, read too much into things...that has to do your head in. I don't know why people need to feed on the drama, I just want to be treated as a person, a fellow human being, not a service or a commodity which is what we seem to have become in this impersonal online world. Sorry Belladonna, I seem to have hijacked your thread!
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6exxy
10 years ago
There are some formites that high jack threads and take them in directions which are simply negative. Truely to ask the question that has been asked about relationship for both men and women went to very narrow minded spaces, closed even. Instead of intelligent debate it came to destructive criticism. Self interest and self importance tend not to lead to constructive help that is the intention of the forums. Some new year resolutions have been broken, frailties on show, insecurities frayed yet there is hope for all. To be loved is the greatest gift of all. Perhaps we can all learn to love our differences as well as our similarities to heal ourselves and love someone special. ✌️❤️& happiness
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RHP User
10 years ago
But Ralf in a way you have answered Belladonna's question. When people start viewing each other as a commodity or a convenience and don't really see them as a person then no, you wouldn't view the people you hook up with as relationship material in those instances. I used to say that I didn't want to be somebodies RHP experience. People that come here just to experiment or sow their wild oats, things that they have feel they have missed out on. It is a time in their life which is outside of what they consider to be their "normal" and they just see it as a phase they are going through. When they are ready to get serious about someone they go to vanilla dating sites where they believe other people looking for relationships are.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74'I don't go in fucking people disrespectfully. I know it is just sex, but I still consider anyone I have sex with as a person that is worth my time and effort. It sounds from your comments you're getting this in return? I strongly believe in the saying "You teach people how to treat you".If you're not being respected or treating by the men you have sex with, remember they all have one thing in common: you. I'm not saying you're asking to be treated badly, but there's always the choice between allowing it to happen (and again), and saying "Fuck no, I deserve a hell of a lot better than this." (I think we're still on topic, no?)
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RHP User
10 years ago
It sounds from your comments you're NOT getting this in return?
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RHP User
10 years ago
I agree, I am horny, what can I say, someone says sex, I say yes please. There is not much incentive for someone to take their time with me. I guess I stick with the motto, treat others how you wish to be treated but we could sit here and throw sayings back and forth that all make perfect sense yet contradict each other.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I understand what you are saying. I try to treat people the way I like to be treated, and I want the same in return when it comes to people in my private life. If I feel I'm not getting the same amount of respect back that I give for example, I probably won't hang around for long.(Yes, says the woman who stayed in her last relationship about two years too long. I'm learning.) OP, If I meet a man here who's looking for NSA, I don't expect he'll treat me the way I want to be treated. I'm not saying he'd treat me badly, but I don't think either one of us could give the other what they required. So I'll keep looking for like-minded souls.
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Twisted_Mister
10 years ago
The most highly sexed man in Australia, but I would never ever refuse to kiss someone during a meet. Or hopefully, after an initial public place meet to make sure we get along. Because kissing is cool, and if returned properly it melts me. Who the hell are these people? - Posted from rhpmobile
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erotictouch4u
10 years ago
Unfortunately there will always be those men (and women) who act as you would expect to start with just to get into your pants and then treat you like shit afterwards because they have gotten what they wanted. It happens in relationships as well as on sites like this.Take heart that you are better than that and karma will always find a way to reach you and give you what you (and they) deserve.*kisses* ET
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RHP User
10 years ago
I don't go back for seconds with these guys.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' I don't go back for seconds with these guys. Regardless - even when as you say you're horny and want sex you need to be selective, look for a gentleman who acts the way a man should, opens the door, waits for you to speak, listens to what you have to say... am I just old fashioned or what? For a woman there is sooooo much choice here - men are abundant on these sites so why not ask for sex with someone who you already knows would open the door and pay for dinner..?!? Hell, do girls still fall for bad guys at your age, I thought it was just happening to teenagers...
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RHP User
10 years ago
of this too Belladonna, who are these "RHP" men and women? Why are we being defined by a website we happen to be a member of? Am I also a "Facebook" woman? A "Meetup" woman? A freaking "Goodreads" woman? I am a member of this website because I like sex and I like meeting, making friends with, and fucking people who also like sex. It is one aspect of my personality, it doesn't define me. It doesn't make me more or less 'relationship material' than a person who isn't a "RHP woman" (that label is really starting to get on my tits by the way). Am I relationship material? For the right man or woman (preferably one of each ) I would be. But that relationship would be defined only by the people involved in it, not what websites they belong to! Would I consider a relationship with someone I met here? Of course! I am having relationships of varying types from friendship to affectionate sexual liaisons with several people I met through RHP, and not once did their membership to this website enter my deliberations into whether I wanted to be involved with them.
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RHP User
10 years ago
A great post!
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RHP User
10 years ago
We are all relationship material ....the hard bit is finding your perfect match. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Hottie1
10 years ago
Her comments resonate with me as I invest in people and it's often not returned in the same way. I get to know them as much as I can, treat people respectfully and with the care which seems to be returned during the initial stage of getting to know them. I too don't go back for seconds where despite all my screening they turn out to be horrible people, even if they are great in bed! I'm often accused of being too trusting and at times naive and I can't change that, nor do I want to, it's what makes me 'me'! We live and learn Mary xx
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donnamick
10 years ago
You are the person you are first and the swinging is something you do as that person. You aren't defined by the act of swinging. It's the "muggles" that like to define people by the lifestyle they follow, what we see as normal behavior is seen as deviant by non swingers. My point is, bringing it back to the topic, of course RHP members are as much relationship material as anyone, it comes down to who you are and who is able to love you for you. I would have thought RHP members would be better relationship material as at least the sexual component of a relationship should be compatible. Cheers Michael - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Some ppl i have chosen to see on here are specifically for a certain experience that they are offering or I am offering them. We both still need an attraction,but we both know that its very cut and dry. We talk a lot about it before going there.not just with a single man, its also been with couples.both knowing it will be a one off. Then sometimes it might end up we both want to do it again at another time. On the flip side, ive had what I call my regulars that we have continued to see each other for play occasionally. Throw in the ones that I thought it could be an ongoing set up, but one time together proved otherwise.for either of us. Theres been an attraction for each person ive seen, but its probably moreso physical as well as what they offer and throw in personality connection as well. Im always upfront about not wanting the boyfriend experience. But if that happened, you cant stop feelings. And I also started on here looking for the elusive one person to be a fwb. But I realised it wasnt what I actually wanted early on. But its all been a part of my chosen journey on here, my sexual journey. Would not change any of it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'bosch_sparks' Quoting 'ralf74' I don't go back for seconds with these guys. Regardless - even when as you say you're horny and want sex you need to be selective, look for a gentleman who acts the way a man should, opens the door, waits for you to speak, listens to what you have to say... am I just old fashioned or what? For a woman there is sooooo much choice here - men are abundant on these sites so why not ask for sex with someone who you already knows would open the door and pay for dinner..?!? Hell, do girls still fall for bad guys at your age, I thought it was just happening to teenagers... a gentleman you say, funniest thing I have read all day!! The last 'gentleman' I met that ever did any of that was nearly 70 years old and I am sorry but I couldn't fuck that.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'bosch_sparks' Quoting 'ralf74' I don't go back for seconds with these guys. Regardless - even when as you say you're horny and want sex you need to be selective, look for a gentleman who acts the way a man should, opens the door, waits for you to speak, listens to what you have to say... am I just old fashioned or what? For a woman there is sooooo much choice here - men are abundant on these sites so why not ask for sex with someone who you already knows would open the door and pay for dinner..?!? Hell, do girls still fall for bad guys at your age, I thought it was just happening to teenagers... By the way Bosch. Men that pay for dinner and open doors can still treat women like a piece of flesh. Showing somebody respect has nothing to do with what you are willing to pay for. So please don't assume you are not a user just because you think act like gentleman.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' I agree, I am horny, what can I say, someone says sex, I say yes please. There is not much incentive for someone to take their time with me. I guess I stick with the motto, treat others how you wish to be treated but we could sit here and throw sayings back and forth that all make perfect sense yet contradict each other. I don't want to make this thread about you Ralph, but your post stood out. I think most people are horny and love sex. But I think the difference between those who are horny and 'need' to act on it so frequently and obsessively and those who don't has more to do with seeking validation than it does with simply purely being horny. I know a lot of guys who claim to be 'hornier' than other men hence their need for sex all the time (mostly with different partners)........the thing I have noticed with these men is that they are also terribly insecure and need the validation that having sex so frequently with different women provides them. It's called a fake alpha male. I think most human beings have some level of insecurity because none of us were perfectly parented.......it's the degree of that insecurity that sets most of us apart from each other and then impacts on our behaviour and more importantly the relationship we have with ourselves. If you don't treat yourself with love and respect, do you really expect others to do so?
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RHP User
10 years ago
do I seem insecure to you? I don't want to get too personal on here, I think I am way too personal now. I don't know how enjoying sex is treating myself without love and respect, that makes no sense to me. If I am feeling not the best, I tend to do the opposite and withdraw and take some time out, like a lot of people do. I don't need validation from anyone, my life is great. I really don't see how I am any different from anyone else on here except that I am willing to appreciate the person I am with. I know when my body is aroused, it is pretty hard to fake it unless you think I fuck with a dried up prune for a vagina. Funny how recently there were posts about liberated, sexually confident women as being a good thing but now that it is me, I am just a slut with insecurities. Anybody else like to chime in with their expertise on my sex life while we aren't making this thread about me?
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RHP User
10 years ago
when you say 'there is not much incentive for someone to take their time with me', 'I am too easy' and 'someone says sex, I say yes please', then it makes me assume that perhaps you don't value yourself highly enough, because they are not the things that someone who does respect themselves, would say about themselves. Perhaps you are exaggerating when you make those comments, I don't know, but never use your enjoyment of sex as an excuse for not treating yourself with higher value and self worth.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I used to say that I didn't want to be somebodies RHP experience. People that come here just to experiment or sow their wild oats, things that they have feel they have missed out on. It is a time in their life which is outside of what they consider to be their "normal" and they just see it as a phase they are going through. When they are ready to get serious about someone they go to vanilla dating sites where they believe other people looking for relationships are. Meeka I think this is pretty spot on. I'll be the first admit that I signed up to this site after a relationship ended and I was going through a phase that included wanting to have sex as validating that I wasn't undesirable/rejectable. Happy to say that phase has passed. Worked out pretty quickly that's easy to find here, but doesn't mean there will be any friendship or respect involved making it all kinda pointless. If you're super horny and just want a one-off shag I figure its much easier just to go down to the pub.Ralf I hope this helps deflect the topic away from you a bit.
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belladonna888
10 years ago
As much as can relate to Ralf and enjoy her input I'm slightly amused by the lack of male responses to the actual thread! When I first signed up to RHP a relationship was the last thing on my mind, over time I'm more open to the possibility 0f a relationship, my wounds have healed only the scars remain.I can't see any reason why I would exclude the possibility of meeting someone of " relationship material " on RHP or any other site of this nature..I get annoyed by the thought that my presents on this site defines who I am ....
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sounds like a good time to mention coffee, by the way, how is the ankle?
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inspirit
10 years ago
Majoity of woman who join here have come out a "generally speaking" a long term relationship. They first use the site for sex (validation they are still desirable). Now I assume the theny meet men - fuck them and then leave not too return. NOW - some of the men they have fucked may think in general all woman do this on RHP, therefore not really relationship material. I get that, because really they are not at the time - - Does anyone get? After woman have been on here for a while and the "validations" have been made and their lives seem to settle back to normal again, they are then looking for longer term. They are still here as they have opened a new world of sexuality and have become empowered. Hence they seek a like minded man and also they feel comfortable here. I get that too. but. I see some of these same woman bagging men for using the the term lets say "flesh" a little too loosely. I don't get that - but some of you do. Hence my above paragraph. As for the "Relationship saga posts, of recent" - is there really a need to get all uppity. Everyone views this site differently. Not every on can articulate their thoughts as well as some do on here. Many people do however take comments out of context in here and then a shit can arguement happens. Why do some you become so cynical you push your judgements/opinions on too others. It happens all the time. Classic example is within this thread. Why is it ok for woman to "use" men, tho men not to "use" woman (again generally speaking) - these "using men" become the dirt of society in many views. In all honesty is there any woman in here who has not used a man for sex on their RHP Journey - Have you fucked a man and NOT responded to him the next day nor him to you? Would that not be using each other? if so. I just do not get, all the emotions that get dealt out here in the forums. The judgements when people don't look in their own back yard. I have seen many hypocritical comments in the last few weeks/months/years. As for me - I see the site as it is and while I am not seeking any kind of relationship not even an FWB (as these are fraught with disaster for me as I have commitment issues - even for a night :-P ) - If some one came along and rocked by boat - I would consider, maybe. Where would this person find me - in here. Although I do think a lot of men in here are in fact coming out of LTR so I would consider them also non relationship material........ Anywaizzzzzzzzzz........
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RHP User
10 years ago
...Don't judge yourself by someone else's yard stick cause you'll always come up short. The only person who knows yourtrue worth is YOU..... so don't ever let anyone without that insight make your judgement for you.We all want to live the dream. The catch is to find the right person to share yours with. The trick is to look high cause SHIT always settles to the bottom ;) xx
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JDM76
10 years ago
Quoting 'belladonna888' As much as can relate to Ralf and enjoy her input I'm slightly amused by the lack of male responses to the actual thread! When I first signed up to RHP a relationship was the last thing on my mind, over time I'm more open to the possibility 0f a relationship, my wounds have healed only the scars remain.I can't see any reason why I would exclude the possibility of meeting someone of " relationship material " on RHP or any other site of this nature..I get annoyed by the thought that my presents on this site defines who I am .... Belladonna , i joined this site to meet women who i thought were and are confident in their sexuality , as well as to establish friendships / potential relationships organically , rather than wham bam thank you mam , and that is my honest opinion , i'm much to introverted to be firing of cock shots to every woman in a 100 klm radius , and that is me . But the other side of the coin is if ralf or any other user male /female want to fuck any tom , dick or harry , then that is their freedom of choice , good , bad or indifferent , this site is all about choice , but there is also the opportunity to make more good or bad ones because of the nature of this site . We are all on journeys , we all make mistakes , we all get to our destinations at different times . But there should always be respect .
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JDM76
10 years ago
Quoting 'belladonna888' As much as can relate to Ralf and enjoy her input I'm slightly amused by the lack of male responses to the actual thread! When I first signed up to RHP a relationship was the last thing on my mind, over time I'm more open to the possibility 0f a relationship, my wounds have healed only the scars remain.I can't see any reason why I would exclude the possibility of meeting someone of " relationship material " on RHP or any other site of this nature..I get annoyed by the thought that my presents on this site defines who I am .... Belladonna , i joined this site to meet women who i thought were and are confident in their sexuality , as well as to establish friendships / potential relationships organically , rather than wham bam thank you mam , and that is my honest opinion , i'm much to introverted to be firing of cock shots to every woman in a 100 klm radius , and that is me . But the other side of the coin is if ralf or any other user male /female want to fuck any tom , dick or harry , then that is their freedom of choice , good , bad or indifferent , this site is all about choice , but there is also the opportunity to make more good or bad ones because of the nature of this site . We are all on journeys , we all make mistakes , we all get to our destinations at different times . But there should always be respect .
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RHP User
10 years ago
That ever is lucky enough to be in a committed relationship (only 2 ever) with me, will be with a lady who loves sex and loves it even more in a loving relationship. I have never had random sex with someone I wasn't connected to in some way...just makes for way better fun when you are relaxed and attracted ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Just chucking my 2 cents in because this is something I've been thinking about a bit too. Yes I am someone who came on here after the end of my LTR. The experience has certainly given my confidence back and opened up a whole new world sexually. What I've been thinking about is why this new sexual awakening makes us "non wife material" Wouldn't it make more sense to have a LTR (if that's what you are looking for) with someone who has the drive and desire for sex? Or does being "filthy" and "horny" make you only good for NSA. I'm still an excellent mother. Still an excellent nurturer. Wouldn't throwing in the fact that you would have hot sex on tap every day be more appealing? All comes down to the age old madonna/whore complex I guess? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'LittleMissSub'What I've been thinking about is why this new sexual awakening makes us "non wife material" I would suggest most GUYS are not here looking for another relationship, with all due respect I don't think its you so much as them. I'm still an excellent mother. Still an excellent nurturer. Wouldn't throwing in the fact that you would have hot sex on tap every day be more appealing? I speak for myself here but no, experience tells me that 'hot sex on tap every day' is a short term facility that BOTH parties spoil by living their everyday together. If you recall the dating phase, when both parties have energy and excitement everytime they meet...its because they don't have it on tap !!
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belladonna888
10 years ago
Quoting 'sunseeker404a' Sounds like a good time to mention coffee, by the way, how is the ankle? Don't drink coffee, bit tarty, not unlike me ..lolStill broken babes ....
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' Why is it ok for woman to "use" men, tho men not to "use" woman (again generally speaking) - these "using men" become the dirt of society in many views. In all honesty is there any woman in here who has not used a man for sex on their RHP Journey - Have you fucked a man and NOT responded to him the next day nor him to you? Would that not be using each other? if so. Inspirit I'll agree with quite a lot of the observations in your post about why women may be here (although I think that probably only applies to single women, not couples). However saying that every woman here has fucked a man and then not responded to him the next day is incorrect. And I doubt I'm the only one here to dispute your statistic who *hasn't* done that. I think this comes down to choosing what you're looking for, even if it is "just sex", whatever that may mean to you.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have said it before,but you always seem to me to be very impatient and dismissive of women who are here looking for more than casual sex...as for using others just for sex,well sometimes the sex is crap...for all sorts of reasons and whether male or female we don't go back...that is hardly just using someone for sex...Freya
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inspirit
10 years ago
I am not dismissive - I respect the ladies in and men in here looking for LTR's. I have not said this before tho - I find your nit picking dismissive of me - more often than not, quite tiring .- However when you make intitial contact with some one, sex is not the fore runner in your mind? You mean to say it is for coffee and a chat only and you just happen to bring up sex at the time. If it is not using them, then what is it? You are filling a need - are you not? Maybe I am not impatient nor dismissive though rather the opposite and tire of reading all about why some woman in here think they are not good enough. Or how some woman continually misread male posts. Most men I would say do not post in here for fear of getting their balls crushed. In fact I know of a few who don't for that very reason. Well I am sorry if I am so different and do not always agree with you all in here Freya. This is certainly not the first time and will not be the last time.
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inspirit
10 years ago
Quoting 'pieklet' Quoting 'inspirit' Why is it ok for woman to "use" men, tho men not to "use" woman (again generally speaking) - these "using men" become the dirt of society in many views. In all honesty is there any woman in here who has not used a man for sex on their RHP Journey - Have you fucked a man and NOT responded to him the next day nor him to you? Would that not be using each other? if so. Inspirit I'll agree with quite a lot of the observations in your post about why women may be here (although I think that probably only applies to single women, not couples). However saying that every woman here has fucked a man and then not responded to him the next day is incorrect. And I doubt I'm the only one here to dispute your statistic who *hasn't* done that. I think this comes down to choosing what you're looking for, even if it is "just sex", whatever that may mean to you.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm not looking for a relationship. So it's not "me" regardless. I'm just looking to the future and thinking about why the two types of women "the madonna" and "the whore" have to be two separate things. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I shan't comment on any more of your posts...
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On_Safari
10 years ago
SEX is the last thing on my mind and I make sure prior to meeting the man concerned that SEX isn't on offer. It's an opportunity to meet and see if there's anything there worth venturing into at the very least a networking opportunity. It may seem quaint and a total waste of time to some who "use men for sex" but hey, each to their own. I've never been accused of misleading anyone and would be loathe to meet anyone who would view me as poorly. No one approach to RHP is any better/worse than another, it's been demonstrated constantly that the site is used/abused entirely at the discretion of the individual and how much they invest themselves into it if at all. The upshot of those differences is simply that some people have more fulfilling experiences here than others but we all have moments of sanctimonious hypocrisy. And that dear friends is human nature at work. (Shrugs) I prefer to treat people as I like to be treated not used.
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ppiffle3934
10 years ago
I’ve been a long time reader of the forums. After reading the latest threads which have been centred around people on RHP being viewed as “relationship material” or not has given me food for thought and often leads to more questions than answers. I apologise in advance that this will be one of those long winded posts that people may not like. I’ll try to keep it as succinct as possible. . It has raised many questions for me personally and maybe some may relate. I am acutely aware that my profile will be viewed/judged/found wanting etc, and yes it is time for it to change to reflect more of “who” I am now and what I’m looking for, as I wrote it a long time ago and haven’t really changed it. So please, I’m open to suggestions for changing it but as yet am still trying to work out what to put in it! I was in a marriage for 30 years, 22 years monogamous and 8 years open. I have always viewed myself as a sexual/sensual person and have not lived a “conventional” life, before, during or post marriage. My journey on RHP started during the open phase of my marriage and was purely to experience liaisons of a sexual nature. It continued after the end of my marriage as many others have done and stated to “validate” me as still desirable whilst “healing” yet not ready for a relationship. As a “woman of mature age” I am aware that on RHP I can and do attract men of varying ages and recognise that most have been younger than myself. Many would say “batting above my weight” (or whatever the actual saying is, sorry the actually quote escapes me at present). I did have a long term FWB for 6 years but this ended for various reasons last year. Sooo.. I find I am probably leaning more towards relationship possibilities. As a few forum posters have said before, this is an adult dating site if you want a relationship go to a vanilla dating site. I am on the usual vanilla dating sites and frankly the men who are attracted to me lean towards the 10-15yrs older than myself and those that are around my age look 10-15 yrs older than myself. I find I am by no means physically attracted to them and after meeting some of them find them rather boring for want of another word mentally .I find I have little in common with them and think I’d probably give some a heart attack if they knew of my life experiences lol. Not to mention the “scammers” who target females of a certain age which are prolific on these sites. Perhaps being on a site like RHP skews ones views and ideas on what kind of person one is attracted to/looking for? I am what most would describe as a “young and vibrant” 58 year old. I enjoy the company of men, I also enjoy doing social things as well as enjoying sex and as I’ve mentioned have not lived a conventional life. So the question remains, where does one find a compatible partner? Why shouldn’t a person on RHP be considered as relationship material? After all aren’t we just the same outwardly as anyone else you would meet in a bar/pub or any other place? The difference being we are probably more open to talking about sex. It seems there is a large scope of what people are looking for from NSA fun to something more long term.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I see a lot of women riding the wave of newfound confidence after a messy breakup or just a breakup from an LTR; thanks to the guys that will just grab their dicks and run to the closest hole to deposit their ballsack custard.... That then becomes boring as its easy to obtain. Like visiting hookers became boring for me....it was empty, unsatisfying, to the point I just didn't want sex anymore... So then they seek out something more in depth..... Problem now is; they seem to expect that the men that they are interested in are going to be on the same page with just a click of the fingers.....until their clicking goes unheard....as the men they are seeking have fresh new meat to indulge in as they're getting their needs met....and for those guys that have no need to change their winning recipe; why would they ?? Then we read about it here in the forums..... So I ask If you desire a 4WD why would you continue to look at sports cars and expect that it would fulfil your needs?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have used men for sex. I think most hook ups are like that. Nothing wrong with it when it is a mutual thing.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' do I seem insecure to you? ... NO, not at all, in fact I thought you were pretty confident in yourself. Why would anyone assume anything about a person they have not met? Except telling them they can't possibly be who they consider themselves to be unless they were like "70 years old" and no longer fuckable... :-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Brunnication' I speak for myself here but no, experience tells me that 'hot sex on tap every day' is a short term facility that BOTH parties spoil by living their everyday together. If you recall the dating phase, when both parties have energy and excitement everytime they meet...its because they don't have it on tap !! I had sex almost every day with my ex, we had a great sex life. I had it on tap and he had it on a running tap. That was for 15 yrs and then even after he left he was coming back for more.
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RHP User
10 years ago
So yeah we are relationship material - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Keepitsimple72' of this too Belladonna, who are these "RHP" men and women? Why are we being defined by a website we happen to be a member of? Am I also a "Facebook" woman? A "Meetup" woman? A freaking "Goodreads" woman? I am a member of this website because I like sex and I like meeting, making friends with, and fucking people who also like sex. It is one aspect of my personality, it doesn't define me. It doesn't make me more or less 'relationship material' than a person who isn't a "RHP woman" (that label is really starting to get on my tits by the way). Am I relationship material? For the right man or woman (preferably one of each ) I would be. But that relationship would be defined only by the people involved in it, not what websites they belong to! Would I consider a relationship with someone I met here? Of course! I am having relationships of varying types from friendship to affectionate sexual liaisons with several people I met through RHP, and not once did their membership to this website enter my deliberations into whether I wanted to be involved with them. Quoting 'Keepitsimple72' of this too Belladonna, who are these "RHP" men and women? Why are we being defined by a website we happen to be a member of? Am I also a "Facebook" woman? A "Meetup" woman? A freaking "Goodreads" woman? I am a member of this website because I like sex and I like meeting, making friends with, and fucking people who also like sex. It is one aspect of my personality, it doesn't define me. It doesn't make me more or less 'relationship material' than a person who isn't a "RHP woman" (that label is really starting to get on my tits by the way). Am I relationship material? For the right man or woman (preferably one of each ) I would be. But that relationship would be defined only by the people involved in it, not what websites they belong to! Would I consider a relationship with someone I met here? Of course! I am having relationships of varying types from friendship to affectionate sexual liaisons with several people I met through RHP, and not once did their membership to this website enter my deliberations into whether I wanted to be involved with them.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I once commented that on one of these relationship topics and I still stand by my belief that all this "Most Rhp males do this" or "Most Rhp females do that" talk is just hearsay and opinion until we are privy to some hard statistical data...over a relevant timeframe. You know. The way Fact is usually presented. : )
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sir Stir,all your many women friends will be delighted by your observations of them.xxFreya
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On_Safari
10 years ago
Considering you've seen me a mess for love of another I am thankful your obervations are based on your other female friends because that generalisation dodn't relate to me at all darling. Bosch gosh you open yourself for rebuke a but hey....another poor choice of words can I just say areyou intending to no longer be fuckable post 60's? And quietly, my Mum and Dad are both 80+ and still banging away, it's a little harder but it's still happenin'. 😏Indy
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'SamanthaLeon' So yeah we are relationship material - Posted from rhpmobile I would love to meet someone off this or other similar sites for said purpose. Of all that I have experienced so far, I miss most the things in a relationship that I can't get at parties or other private invites. That is, affection, bonding, overnight spooning, cuddles with a movie. To answer the OP: everyone is relationship material, if they want to be, at the right time in their life that is suitable, and with the right person. What type of relationship is also highly flexible as per their particular circumstances.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Fuckable?,,,,Jane Fonda,Diana Ross,Barbra Striesand,Fay Dunaway,Judy Dench she is 80...and Helen Mirren who is 67..xxFreya
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Plain
10 years ago
Reading some of the posts on here about the lack of men joining in. Perhaps we are frightened of the relationship thing, lets face it and I speak specifically in my age group. We have baggage, you will be surprised most men need to get it out of their systems by talking and listening. Some of the profiles from some of the ladies on RHP have man specifications that have every classification known and I wonder if the photo physical attraction side of this site gets defeated by what could be termed over zealous conditions as we read it. I could be wrong here but the guy who may be relationship material tends to read these profiles, remember they may be open to the lifestyle otherwise they would not dabble or become engrossed in it. Just maybe a high proportion of these instant turn on profiles of hot women photo ,catchy line ,with lots of conditions might dissuade him from looking for the gems that are in RHP .On the other hand some of the ladies on here know what they want in life and they are very confident and this can scare guys as well, remember baggage we all have it as we advance in years. Its a life skill learning of how to deal with the baggage that I find is lacking and we still think in terms of Victorian age conservatism which is the real issue for being classified and put into character boxs.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' Sorry I read that as a statement followed by a separate question. Apologies if not. Anyway I answered the question from my perspective. I think one major flaw in a lot of people assumptions is that you can generalise people on this website as "kinkier" than people on other dating websites who are more "vanilla" (a term I really dislike). A website/phone app is simply that - a tool. It's not a way to categorise people. One of my best friends semi-regularly organises outdoor orgies that involve random partners, strap-ons and cross-dressing. The only dating website she's ever been on is e-harmony (granted she says its a complete waste of time and money). Judging someone by which dating avenue they choose to sign up to is like judging someone for which email client they use - gmail versus hotmail versus yahoo. Potato, potato.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' I see a lot of women riding the wave of newfound confidence after a messy breakup or just a breakup from an LTR Freya and Indy, I actually don't see a problem with Stir's comment. He's not talking about all women and is clear about the fact it's his observation.
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On_Safari
10 years ago
I was more reflecting on the fact that Stir seems to have inadvertantly taken some very private information he has been privy to as a friend with other women that yes may be true but is also kind of a betrayal of trust. (shrugs) I don't really care either way because I'm not one of those women and generally get where he is coming from having had many a discussion with him. BUT how would any of those women feel reading his post?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sir_Stir, I don't think all women are doing that, some I am sure are. I personally think the frustrating thing is the fact that so many "seem" to be closed to the idea of a relationship or even contemplating a relationship even if they met someone who ticks all the boxes. So again, it comes down to choices. The men women meet and what they are really after. Not sure how many guys are saying what they think a woman wants to hear, such as they are after FWB or relationships, just to get into a woman's pants? From my point of view, which no doubt is different to the blokes, I think that women are more open to the potential of a relationship, they are more willing to risk their hearts than men. And we can't understand it? What are men so scared of?
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RHP User
10 years ago
What On_Safari? He has made a totally generic comment about his observations. Like we all have been through out this whole thread. You are sounding paranoid there Sweetness.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'bosch_sparks'NO, not at all, in fact I thought you were pretty confident in yourself. Why would anyone assume anything about a person they have not met? Except telling them they can't possibly be who they consider themselves to be unless they were like "70 years old" and no longer fuckable... :-) Dude, must be so difficult permanently walking around with one foot in your mouth.
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On_Safari
10 years ago
lol nup
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On_Safari
10 years ago
My boobs look saggier in this picture
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' What On_Safari? He has made a totally generic comment about his observations. I did not read Stir's comment as anything other than as a general statement, and over time I've come across many women here over time who presented themselves just like he described. And your boobs are hot!
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On_Safari
10 years ago
now back on topic
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RHP User
10 years ago
I lived one marriage without kink or play I discovered it after. I would hope it will continue for some time after, I hope the insecurities and trust I have with my long term partner allows us to continue I feel its a great sign of a strong relationship. So yes I hope to find a relationship on here.
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RHP User
10 years ago
yup agreed.... It's a double edged generalisation that affects the blokes in reverse as well... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I read the forums a lot....I may not comment on all.... But you don't need to be brain surgeon to see what the main complaints from women are, or the men for that matter... I apologise if you think that my comments were based upon conversations I've had with you and anyone else for that matter. My observations are based upon the forum posts and threads only and not upon private conversations with individuals... It would be also arrogant of me to exclude myself from my generalisation. However.... The reality is that people's needs change over time here at RHP and unless you reassess the tools that use to fulfil those needs and desires for suitability of achievement then you're gonna end up chewed up and spat out. Which was the point I was making, which was also in alignment of Inspirits sentiments I feel. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Violetincredible
10 years ago
I just liked the car analogy ☺️ Men..🚗🚚🚌🚓🚲🚜 Xxviolet
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RHP User
10 years ago
lol...I felt using Care Bears may have been a little too strawberry shortcake 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile
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6exxy
10 years ago
Simply an observation but every women that has replied to this post is 40 and over. With the exception being violetincredle(great name!) and curiousgirl86. Is this more applicable to mature women as the subject seems to now be about post serious relationships and going through recovery phases? I'm simply observing and listening. Are people our age lost? Read and think about the responses here? Single women & males available for relationship but no platform to really meet. Hmmm I really think we all can help ourselves to better outcomes here 💃🏃 💕
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'inspirit' Why is it ok for woman to "use" men, tho men not to "use" woman (again generally speaking) - these "using men" become the dirt of society in many views. In all honesty is there any woman in here who has not used a man for sex on their RHP Journey - Have you fucked a man and NOT responded to him the next day nor him to you? Would that not be using each other? if so. ---------- Well Inspirit, I end up here purely by accident. (A long story, not worthy of the novel it would take to write!) However, I like to assume that these women who 'use' men and those men who 'use' women, in the anonymous world of online dating are also rather busy 'using' people in general in the real world. In my world, I don't recall ever having gone through my life using anyone or treating them in a flippant manner. In real life or online. I also like to think that I'm not in the habit of winding up another human being up like a Yo-Yo just to 'have my way' with them. Thinking about exactly what it is you are saying to a person or the innuendo that you may be unwittingly portraying, before opening your mouth, is a rather invaluable skill to have frankly! Say something to someone only if you mean it, and consider that it's someone's heart you are playing with, not a puppy on loan from the pet-shop for the afternoon. When it comes to 'not responding' to a man the next day. There are two schools of thought here; If it was just a dinner and you clearly didn't click - why be calling each other back at all. Alternatively you've met, gone out together a few times, and danced the tango and have become all hot and bothered after a few dates with each other, it's my own personal view that giving a man some gentle encouragement is permissible. Personally, a thank you at the end of the evening, with a "I had a really nice time this evening, and would really like to do this again is sufficient", along with a bright smile. Perhaps followed by a text message to reiterate. However I'll be dammed if I'm then going to message, text, email, and run round like a circus clown trying to get their attention. So generally, not jumping a long-jump straight into bed after the first date, usually paves the way for giving a reasonable indication of what a man's intentions towards you are going to be. The reality is if a man isn't chasing you, texting, emailing or whatever else is required asking you for a next date he clearly isn't that interested, so my motto is NEXT!
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RHP User
10 years ago
While I feel it's important to discuss the many differing topics on the forums and they can make for interesting reading. The reality is we can only talk from our own experiences, its easy to generalise, create statistics etc but our truth, the truth comes from what we have been through. I've had good experiences, great experiences and a couple of bad/poor experiences. Again for me it's all about the journey. The good, the bad and the ugly and I might add the messy too
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RHP User
10 years ago
As a noob to the site, and the "scene", I wouldn't think of generalising here. From this male's point of view, I know my current work and custody circumstances make establishing a "traditional " relationship difficult. So I've come here to hopefully meet someone, not just for a quick release, but more for an ongoing situation without being in each other's pockets day to day. I have absolutely no problem with this developing further, it's just that I am guessing that the lovely ladies on this site have no problems in acknowledging that their sexuality is just as important to them as the "GSOH, walk on the beach, hand in hand " stuff on the vanilla sites. So, all in all, no problem seeing anyone here as "potential relationship material" - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Josie8' The reality is if a man isn't chasing you, texting, emailing or whatever else is required asking you for a next date he clearly isn't that interested, so my motto is NEXT! And that applies to wherever you meet.
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