F58
Relationships
September 23 2013
Comments
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Beachlover1999
11 years ago
Blue eyes I can only talk for myself.....I to have had similar situations on vanilla sites and as I have posted previously for the most part find communicating with guys and gals on RHP refreshing, open and honest (honest in the sense they say what they think and want). I would not ever consider a vanilla relationship, haven't done that for years!!!! I am not looking for a headlong relationship but am certainly open to having my mind changed, but he would have to be pretty amazing ++++++++!!!!!!! I have to much to loose and consider before I make the big commitment, financially, emotionally and a child to consider. Someone near Port and regular for wining dining, good witty company and sex would be perrrrfect!!!!!!!! It defo gets confusing on here as profile state single but actually they don't/ won't say what they want....... Surely everyone fears hurt, lies betrayal........I have had more than my fair share but I love men, male company, adventurous sex and living a little on the wild side........No I don't want to stay single forever......I do however want to be sitting in the nursing home with a giggle and smile on my face knowing I have loved and lived a lot!!!! Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.......... ;)))
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm not on any vanilla dating sites, haven't been for more than 12 months. I do prefer the honesty about intentions that you find here on RHP and I know that what I'm currently looking for is available here. I would say I'm not seeking a full time relationship at this point in time. That's not a never, just a not now. I absolutely plan on being in a relationship again, however it will be something I enter into with my heart and my head this time. I'm not at all concerned about being hurt, it goes with the territory. When love doesn't work out everyone hurts. That's part of the risk you take. I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to feel that kind of stomach tingling delight in someone's company for fear of what may come on the other side of that experience. Sure, like most women my age, I have some baggage, but I don't consider myself damaged. I have no bitterness, no fear of entering another relationship. I'm just not in a rush. When that man comes into my life I'll be ready to embrace the experience with open arms.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I would shy away from any intimate sex, afraid of that connection. I guess a coward of the heart.I never dated in the ten years I was divorced, and the last three years of my divorce I did not even have sex.I am back with my x husband and we have a more open relationship and its getting better all the time as I am starting to let go,and thats the key to trust someone not to bounce your heart around like a rubber ball.I thought and did do a lot of random sex with hot guys and learnt a heap about my sexuality form RHP.But now I am happy with my one FWB, never thought I would hang up my spurs but for now , its enough for me.There is a kind of relationship of mutual respect and honesty, so that for me is something new.I also realised that over time, I could not get off or aroused with other men as much as with this guy , so in the end my body and mind were connecting.there is no chance of a relationship other than this, we are both married and both love our partners very much. I think people do want a relationship but are afraid, and who can blame them, we always know what we do not want in lifebut we seldom know what we do want.Fear of failing, fear of making our situation worse and people have been so burnt that the cannot mend it back to where they can take that risk again.from what I have seen here, every single person wants to be happy, they do want that person to be there for them, no matter what shape it takes. to have a person, kiss your eyes, your for head, to know they will catch you if you fall, and fall we do no matter how smart we think we are.lady T into retirement (for a little while at least) maybe hot sexy summer time may change that but I think not as I have things to do and want to spend less time on the computer and get stuck into my book , so stay tuned
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Plain
11 years ago
Do you want to be alone or not, are you a social person or a loner all come into it. I think most people that get to middle ages that are single, separated, divorced or widowed have had most of their idyllic dreams and expectations shattered at some stage. We are still romantics at heart, mostly I believe anyway ( I can see the sniggering now, you fool) and its a very human trait, when we are on RHP looking for all of the above FWB, FB,NSA, their must be some sort of attraction or link to some sort of electric moment for things to proceed and be successful no matter how short.What upsets me is how emotionally (no other way to say this sorry) damaged people become as a result of earlier relationship failures, that becomes self perpetuating, most men end up at the base end and are only after a shag, they dont get it unless they pay for it and are angry at the world for their plight for instance. Or anytime you complement a lady, women in the average shopping centre, they shirk away passively or aggressively, yell out pervert.These are basic issues yet we still cant get a grasp on them at out age no wonder why we have reservations about getting into new relationships. Lets face it we are teenagers again with bad experiences, hmmm perhaps this is the conundrum.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Who doesn't want the perfect 'utopian' relationship with their elusive soul mate IF they can find them ? By definition there is nothing bad about it.When people state they're not looking for a relationship I see it as more of a defense against any lingering expectations people may have that sex = start of relationship. They are making it clear the interaction is free of obligation not opportunity.Even seasoned, independent singles stating no intention or desire for a relationship would find it difficult to resist should they bump into the right person at the right time. In my view relationships develop and evolve without any conscious decision to do so. You don't choose to start it - the choice is whether you allow it to blossom or not.
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madotara69
11 years ago
before you up and piss off (breaking my heart)Can you tell us what the theme of your book will be?Mado
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RHP User
11 years ago
1. Yes very probably.2. The right person at the right time.3.an "or" question.....not what I envisage.4. Not as far as I am aware.5. Yes I think you can if you choose to.As for my philosophy about it, Indefatigable nailed it right n the head for me in his last paragraph. I wish I could use the quote function!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have never experienced a great love and so do not expect it.I think it is worse to live in the delusion of ''there is someone for everyone'',it just clearly is not so.And yes I know that the positive thinking brigade will disagree,but look around you.I would certainly rather be happily single surrounded by family,friends and the occassional lover than unhappily coupled.But I am also somewhat of an optimist and ho knows who I will trip over tomorrow.Freyasophical
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was going to say I state I don't expect to find a relationship here on RHP, but you can't read my profile anyway so I definitely won't! There are times when I think I would like a relationship and then I wonder whether I could live with someone every day. Then I think about the various alternatives and then . . . . I go to sleep. I'm open to the possibility and I certainly know I won't die if I don't find someone, or they don't find me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Do people who state not into a relationship think they will change their mind? - Yes. People can always change their minds... some change them as often as their underwear, others change them with the seasons and some change with the new year.What would it take to change your mind? - The right lady. Chemistry, personality and all the other things that make a connection right. Or do you envisage being single (alone) forever? - No. But I never envisaged getting divorced or living back in Sydney either... the only certainty in life is death and the date of that is not fixed... anything else is possible.Are you too frightened of being hurt..emotionally or financially to change? - No. Earlier this year the answer was more like Yes but now it is a solid No. Who dares wins... Fear Nothing!Do you really think you can remain single for ever? - Yes. But I wouldn't like to because I have so much to share.Chin up OP... Love will come bite you in the bum when you least expect if and it'll probably be from the one you least expect it from.
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RHP User
11 years ago
"Unhappily coupled" Nice term, Freya... bad place to visit, horrible place to live... Yet some choose this. Security means a lot to some people... Even at the expense of their happyness. I choose to believe that there is someone for me... I don't fall in love with my partners, but i care for them, I don't do callous uncaring sex... Mado, I think the working title of Lady Tuscans book is "61 shades of grey" Hp xo 💌 ...she's gunna kill me 😎
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RHP User
11 years ago
Whether in the traditional sense, or a more casual sense, I've pretty much given up for now. Too many bad experiences over the last year or so have left me a tad jaded and cynical. Too many times I've been left wondering what the hell just happened, and what's wrong with me.So to answer to OP's questions:1. I may change my mind one day. For now, I've come to be comfortable - not exactly happy - with the current situation.2. Somebody incredibly special, and a big shift in my own confidence towards relationships....I guess there could be some trust issues at work here..3. I don't know. It's not something I really want to think about.4. Frightened? Not the word I'd use. I'd go with extremely cautious and wary.5. Again, I don't know.CheersJAB
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RHP User
11 years ago
Love it! Perhaps that's your next incarnation? I have experienced "the great love affair", been convinced that it was meant to be, didn't mean that it turned out that way though. I think a huge number of people are "unhappily partnered" and I have to agree, I'd rather be single....that's why I left my marriage. I'm a persistent optimist, still convinced there is someone out there for everyone. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
What are the chances that I can find a wonderful man who wants a relationship, wants to explore and be naughty/kinky sexually and will still let me keep my lover! I am hoping he is out there!! 💕💕💕💕
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Tall74nHard9
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'What are the chances that I can find a wonderful man who wants a relationship, wants to explore and be naughty/kinky sexually and will still let me keep my lover! I am hoping he is out there!! 💕💕💕💕 If you truly found a wonderful man, say the man "of your dreams", who unconditionally gave you his all, would you really insist on keeping a lover as well (and dishonouring this wonderful man) ? Food for thought ? Tall
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Amicus75' Do people who state not into a relationship think they will change their mind? - Yes. Can they? Yes. Will they? That's not a given. I learned a long time ago that if a man says he does not want a relationship, he means it. I must say though: recently a thread was resurrected where I said that if the sex with a FWB were to end, so would the friendship. I remember Meeks calling that harsh. Well, I have changed my mind. A true friendship has developed between a certain man and myself, where we don't feel we need to have sex to see each other. Meeks, I stand corrected. OMG, I think I just saw a pig. With wings.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'What are the chances that I can find a wonderful man who wants a relationship, wants to explore and be naughty/kinky sexually and will still let me keep my lover! I am hoping he is out there!!I'll fight you for him.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Maybe we can time share? Well I know it's a tall order but if I do meet someone I hope he doesn't mind me maintaining a friendship with old lovers. ;-)
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Coops27M
11 years ago
I'm not looking for a relationship for the time being, i am still young and wish to explore, experiment, enjoy the diversity that people provide but if i find myself with someone who can share an amazing mutual connection with me then i am not afraid to embrace that. My last relationship was full of lies, confusion and pain and left me bewildered and scorn so i'm certainly not in any hurry to date the first person that presents the oppurtunity.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mesmerised' Quoting 'Amicus75' Do people who state not into a relationship think they will change their mind? - Yes. Can they? Yes. Will they? That's not a given. I learned a long time ago that if a man says he does not want a relationship, he means it. OMG, I think I just saw a pig. With wings. Agreed, just because they can doesn't mean they will... but the likelihood they will is the same as them not... people can surprise you.I friend I met a few years ago swore blind that she would never settle down and would never find a man blah blah blah... she got married last week. I think men can be the same if they find someone who triggers their soft spot the right way.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Amicus75' Quoting 'Meeka100' Maybe we can time share? Well I know it's a tall order but if I do meet someone I hope he doesn't mind me maintaining a friendship with old lovers. ;-) Until she comes home and says... "Honey, I don't love you any more. I'm leaving you for (name withheld) as I love her more. I guess I'm just not interested in men any more. I'm sorry."
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RHP User
11 years ago
My ideal man would be bi so that we could all play together!! If I met someone and they wanted me to stop playing alone with others I would do it. Absolutely... I just hope he would be confident enough in himself to not mind me maintaining a friendship with a FWB who is more F than B. Ya know!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Food for thought... Not all men insist on monogamy. In fact, I am not sure if I would be interested in someone who didn't occasionally like to have some group play. Just sometimes.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Monogawhat??Loved my partner having other lovers... specially when invited to play (which was very rare). But that's enough hijacking OPs thread...
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Tall74nHard9
11 years ago
Thanks for your responses. I was just initially taking you at your word as you had put it in the thread, but you have since qualified in what you would possibly regard as "ideal". Sweety I was certainly not having a go at you per se, but just a reply as per the way you worded it. In your qualification of seeking bi etc I can understand your situation better and I concur with what you have put forward. If I found a particular partner who was also happy outside of a monogamous relationship I would also welcome that whole-heartedly. And maintaining previous outside relationships would have to be high on my list too. And as per your thread above, if he wasn't confident enough with you maintaining previous relationships, he would hardly then qualify as your 'ideal' man, would he ? Tall
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Tall74nHard9
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Maybe we can time share? Well I know it's a tall order but if I do meet someone I hope he doesn't mind me maintaining a friendship with old lovers. ;-) ..on a lighter note ..... you call ??? Tall
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