F44
Relationships
March 01 2017
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
When I was single I had a few lovely FWB relationships Now Im with someone who is my Mr 99% Compatible. ( we do disagree now and again! ) We enjoy each others company, love socialising with our friends and are both sexually experimentive. None of us are looking elsewhere as we dont need or want to. If we play its together. And no thats not my " jealous insecurities", we both want that situation. Hes not the type that enjoys seeing his parner being fucked by someone else ..I think its a Cuckold, am I right? All I know is that its a great thing and I dont want to give it up for any random shags. Its our choice and we are happy with how the way things are. :)
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RHP User
8 years ago
For me, personally as we get older relationships are harder to firstly, be compatible and then maintain! Kids too, especially at a certain age as I've found in the last 4 relationships, can and do pact negatively towards someone else taking their fathers spot! I know this is not a new thing and has been always this way. But with technology at their disposal, contact to the father can be instantaneous and certainly taken out of context as I've found out personally. Therefore as kids mother she will rebel against me purely because on " not " there dad! Its quite intimidating and I've now found I'm muchbless stressed living alone with my son! But I do miss and yearn for a woman's touch an cuddles each evening. And as a single man/I can and definitely don't have a problem obtaining random hookups when needed. Its the emotional and intellectual connection that I miss......
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RHP User
8 years ago
Yes I'd like to find my perfect match BUT I'm doubting I ever will. Every time I attempt to follow up with a guy over 40, something goes wrong before we ever meet. I find most men, sorry not making a sweeping statement, but the ones I've been in contact with in that 40's age bracket, are wanting nsa and if I want just nsa sex, I'll take a young guy. On the rare occasion I communicate with, and with the view to meet, an older guy, I like them to not be closed to a further connection, if indeed the mood takes us there, if we're really into each other. So I'm very aware I have a double standard here, because sex is everything to me, I do hookups, and have lots of different partners, ongoing at the same time. I want them to enjoy the same, or together to share others, but I get turned off by older guys who state they aren't open to anything else, or who don't treat me with respect and really appreciate me and treat me like the sexy minx I am 😀 a quick fuck I can get any day of the week, but I bugger off if I think the older guys just want to use me to fill in a gap until they can hook a young chick. I'm not gap filler guys, I'm a beautiful sexy, sexual woman who you shouldn't take for granted. When such a woman is placed before you, missed opportunity could very well be regretted. I never go back, once I've moved on, you've lost me 😉
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RHP User
8 years ago
@ITouch You sound like you have sex on the mind a lot... but excuse me for saying this but I think what you've said above is a little hypocritical... if you are worried about older men ditching you for younger women... you react by going for younger men yourself? I can't say that all older men like much young women... but if you judge older men like that with your own insecurity, that's what it will always be before you give them a chance. Learn about their past, maybe they've been burnt by younger women going for younger men. I don't think it's fair to generalise a certain demographic. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
stories from polyamorous/polygamous couples or open relationships. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Zsuza69
8 years ago
Relationships are a funny thing. For ours I think is almost perfect. It was spawn out of both our previous marriages broke down at much the same time. We found each other at both of our lowest moments and never looked back. We found after talking to each other that we were so compatible and yet with the age gap so different at the same time. We have now been together for ten years and we have never really fought or yelled at each other (for extended periods of time that is). Never gone to bed angry with each other in those ten years. As for swinging we both love to see each other being pleasured by other people. And our trust in each other is endless. We do allow each other to play separately although we both prefer to play as a couple. We only play separately when one of us finds a sexual partner that the other has no interest in. Which happens quite regularly. Probably the age gap thing and the fact that we both don't have a type as such. We tell each other every thing and talk about everything I think that is the key, trust and not hiding anything from each other. We have talked about polygamy relationships and found we are in agreement of it. So much so that we would like to find either a guy or woman that would like to be in one as well. Once the giant never stop eating or growing beanstalk has left home that is. Which is only about a year or so away. Mr Zsuza - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'm happily married, 20 years this year, my hubby and I have a great relationship and very much in love and not looking to change that, we have an amazing sex life together, the only issue is we were very young when we got married and were each other's firsts, and now after 20 years and 2 kids later we are at a point where we are extremely secure in our marriage and who we are and would like to explore a little sexually with other people, wether that be together or separately, so far our only experiences have been at the swingers club which was a lot of fun and something we both really enjoyed, my husband has just recently joined a service for married people to meet other married people for "fun", so he's meeting a couple of women next week, I'm hoping in the future to meet other couples and singles who don't mind exploring with me but I'm currently working on myself and my body issues, in the mean time I love reading the forums. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
No, it's too hard to explain exactly what I mean. Putting this into text isn't easy. It is complicated and I'm not worried about them being interested in, or playing with, any age women, just if it's strictly sex only, I'll take a hot young body. Double standard, yes probably but I'm also not actively looking for a relationship, will just float along and if that person ever jumps out in front of me, all good. Otherwise I'm very happy. But I've found older guys arrogant and lazy, that's not a general statement, it's my personal experience. There are good ones out there that I'd be a good match with, but they're mostly already taken at my age. But all good, I'm happy and entitled to my opinion about how it has been for me 😃
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RHP User
8 years ago
"Older men ditching me for younger women" ?? Where did I say that? Don't enhance what I said. What I said or what I meant was they quite often treat me like they are squeezing me into a space in their schedule, perhaps during the week, leaving the weekend free to go out and troll for young chicks. Now keep in mind these guys are hot, so can attract any age women. But I don't care if they fuck other women, I want them to, so let's not make it up as we to along 😉 Mary made a comment about how she and her bf have a rule or agreement that when she's in his location, he doesn't see other women, but otherwise happy for him to. So my feeling is similar with new guys closer to my age. If they treat me like I don't matter, or I'm a priority of sorts, even just for the time leading up to a meet or surrounding it, it comes across as being complacent, and I'd rather give them a miss. There are plenty of others who appreciate the opportunity to be with me, and treat me accordingly. Simple as that, and in my experience, it's the young guys who appreciate it more and make me feel sexy and wanted. But don't be calling me a hypocrite. I never treat any man like he's a 'filler', I focus on each one, putting the others to the back shelf, while I'm connecting with him, and I don't put up with them being arrogant. If I could give specific examples, I would be able to explain it better, but I can't do that. I love every guy I meet, not forever, but I have to 'feel' to be with them, regardless of age, and if they don't ' feel' me, I'm not interested. I'm a warm and living person and I state clearly on my profile that I want ongoing where possible, and to not be their one and only, but a priority of sorts. I really don't like my character being analyzed or attacked so please talk about yourself, don't try to analyse me 😃
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RHP User
8 years ago
Warm and 'loving' I meant, makes a massive difference to sexual play
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RHP User
8 years ago
sorry for hogging the thread but the other point I forgot to make is I've had a lot of very long term fb's, up to 3 years and every one has been 20's and 30's. They made me feel special, they were turned on by me, and the same in reverse. If I could find a guy closer to my age who made me feel like that and had the sexual oomph, attraction goes without saying, then age is irrelevant 😃
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RHP User
8 years ago
2 years, not 3
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RHP User
8 years ago
I don't mean to come across all as labelling but tbh, I don't normally read your lengthy posts because they confuse me. It's like I have to somehow map out some flowchart... I do empathise with you. It's not an easy gig. Ok I understand... if you want to be exclusive with an older guy AND if it feels like he is looking for a younger chick to date, you say goodbye. So then you look for younger guys for sex, but don't date them because they seem to want NSA? It's good that you don't compromise your own values for a man. Yes you are right to respect yourself, I agree. But don't doubt that the right guy will come along. For some reason, doubting pushes the opportunities away. Some things aren't always what they seem. Sometimes a guy that could be right for you could be right under your nose and you've disregarded him because of some rule you made for yourself froma previous experience... just saying don't give up. Good that you are also glad you are single for now :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'll just ignore your snide remark about my lengthy posts and stay away from your topics. I feel you're maybe not as fussy who you befriend or spend time with 😃 I am Oh and btw exclusive? lol you clearly have some judgment going on here, and baggage, re your comment about my lengthy posts. Another jfm 😇
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RHP User
8 years ago
leave you to it. Not interested in staying here with a rude op
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'm in a very supporting and loving relationship and I wouldn't have it any other way. And it also involves other men from time to time... I wouldn't change a thing.
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RHP User
8 years ago
My 'flow' is just fine 🐳🐳🐳
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RHP User
8 years ago
I said one thing that may have been taken as rude. I'm honest. My friendships are built on absolute honesty. I am no different here. Sorry you took it that way, but I'm not apologising for being me and voicing my opinion. Is it not a fact that your posts are lengthy? To get this straight, I don't mind lengthy, as long as there is substance. I was struggling to grasp your thinking/experiences. The rest of my post (95% of it) was actually in AGREEANCE with you. But you seem to miss that. Oh well. I don't want you to crawl into your shell. It's your perception of my posts. It had good intentions to clear up miscommunication, if you will. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I think it's a wonderful thing when people are genuinely happy 💖 not just following other people's rules or conventions. I love hearing that 😍 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I live solo poly.. and am in a relationship with a poly couple. solo poly is that I will not nest/live/move in with anyone.. right now this fits well for me, that might change at some point. I visit my couple every second weekend and stay with their family, which consists of wife/husband and girlfriend. I have a poly relationship with husband and girlfriend. This is working very well for us all, the main thing that has been difficult with me, has been reaching out to them for support when I need it. My fierce independence gets in the way, but that is part of my growth and for me to learn. Zsuza69... polygamy is marriage... polyamory is many loves/relationships. (thinking its a typo but for the general readers)
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RHP User
8 years ago
@Spirit_Phoenix Wow I find your arrangement so fascinating. I also find the man is so amazing to juggle the time between his women. Does he work? What else does he fill time with or does he have projects going on? What about kids? Also the gf, is she in the relationship with the wife too? I think I love the idea of solo poly - I've learnt a new concept. It must be so difficult. I've lived alone a lot of my life only because I like to have my own space. But when I'm caught up with someone it's hard when we have to part. Are you slowly asking them for support or advice bit by bit? I'd be very thoughtful of what to ask but I'm the type of person that once I figure out how I feel I ask for advice and then later they will ask how I'm going. What a beautiful relationship. My fantasy is a relationship with 2 straight guys, they know of each other but I have the full 1-1 experience with them. They can also date other women to find a 2nd girlfriend but I probably wouldn't be involved. I don't want them to do it to make me jealous because I'd have the other guy, but I'd want them to do it if they feel the need to but I would always be there to pick them up again emotionally. My biggest fear if I feel stuck with an unhappy stale monogamous relationship. It kills me inside. I want to give myself fully. I used to wish I could quadruplicate myself when I used to hang out in a group of guys because I felt their loneliness. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'FlyGirlC' @Spirit_Phoenix Wow I find your arrangement so fascinating. I also find the man is so amazing to juggle the time between his women. Does he work? What else does he fill time with or does he have projects going on? What about kids? Also the gf, is she in the relationship with the wife too? I think I love the idea of solo poly - I've learnt a new concept. It must be so difficult. I've lived alone a lot of my life only because I like to have my own space. But when I'm caught up with someone it's hard when we have to part. Are you slowly asking them for support or advice bit by bit? I'd be very thoughtful of what to ask but I'm the type of person that once I figure out how I feel I ask for advice and then later they will ask how I'm going. What a beautiful relationship. My fantasy is a relationship with 2 straight guys, they know of each other but I have the full 1-1 experience with them. They can also date other women to find a 2nd girlfriend but I probably wouldn't be involved. I don't want them to do it to make me jealous because I'd have the other guy, but I'd want them to do it if they feel the need to but I would always be there to pick them up again emotionally. My biggest fear if I feel stuck with an unhappy stale monogamous relationship. It kills me inside. I want to give myself fully. I used to wish I could quadruplicate myself when I used to hang out in a group of guys because I felt their loneliness. - Posted from rhpmobile as with anything, I think it can be as hard as the individual makes it, it does take much self reflection and communication is as vital, as it should be in a mono relationship. schedules do become a big thing, negotiating time and needs. I find personally, I am quite nonchalant and go with the flow very easily. I need very little. For example, Friday week I have to go to the specialist in the town where they live, (hour and half from me) I have communicated to them that I am there and that I am free for 4 nights if its ok with them all. I will then stay over. The husband and wife have something they are doing together on the Saturday, I will either go out or stay there, as I have reading and writing to do and hang with the girlfriend. Over a normal weekend together, we spend time as family, I get quality time in private with him, then with him and her later in the day. There are adult children, they are aware and very understanding, to the point of stirring dad up about his girlfriends lol.. I am reaching out more, its coming to me slowly, he and I have discussed what is in my head at the time and why I find it difficult. (19 years of being alone) So yes I am getting there slowly. A few times now I have reached out to him when I have been in great stress. I also have had to teach myself to touch base soon after coming home as I get subdrop and polydrop from my time with them. Even then tho, I still have to self manage, as I cant just drive over there for a hug and a chat. So I find myself, cleaning, eating, or whipping out the magic wand bwahahahha
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RHP User
8 years ago
As much as I would love to be in relationship with someone - I lack the skills required. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
@Spirit_Phoenix What a wonderful setup. It seems to be helping you develop yourself - that's what I love. Thank you for sharing. It's provided me new understanding and much insight into different options. It appears that you've approached this situation very thoughtfully 💖 I hope to do the same in my future relationships. I think you are very courageous to show your vulnerability to those you trust and confident they will not betray that trust but in fact support you through. It's such a whole new level 😍 @LaFemme I don't believe you lack the skills... you have to find the wrongs ones before you find the right one. Continue to be yourself, unapologetically. Let me share a story with you. A friend of mine was married to her highschool sweetheart for about 13 years but during that time although he was a lovely man, my friend had a long term affair with her boss, a "womaniser", but she and others knew that he loved her over his wife. Eventually they decided they wanted to be together, my friend left her husband, but the boss's wife cracked it and wanted the status. So he couldn't leave her. After a year of grieving, having flings in between, my friend then met someone and jumped into the sack and he gave her an std that he never warned her about. She stayed in an unhappy relationship for 11years until he cheated on her. She kicked him out and that's when I started chatting to her as my neighbour. She was broken and her beloved dog died after 16 yrs and she would cry as her dog knew when there was something not right with mum. As we built our friendship, she became more herself and started to stop thinking the terrible thoughts. She was soft and I was quite blunt, no time for BS... it was like yin and yang, light and dark. She had strength in character because anything I said didn't really faze her much. She rarely would get angry. I needed to be her fierce inner voice coming from outside. She slowly built self confidence and she started to think about relationships again. She forgave her ex in some way and moved forward. Now 2 years since her separation, she thought she could go back to some ex-flames, but then she found a man that's so serendipitous to her life... he knew her father when he was a young lad (they are in their 50s now) who died 3 years ago, he went to the same school as her but much older. He remembers her but she doesn't remember him. Her 2 new rescued dachshunds love him, but barked at the ex... I've never seen the boy dog yelp in so much excitement, around in circles seeing a male figure around that his mum was so fond of. He has been separated for 25 years because his wife left him for the neighbour. She knows she's found the one 💖 My friend taught me to open up and love... she always the optimistic one whereas I always want to protect her. Because she's been through the hardships of loving someone in secrecy, I can tell her anything and it doesn't shock her, but we have giggles together. Don't start telling yourself that you don't have skills. You absolutely do have them! The universe will open up when you are ready... and not expecting the surprise. Just keep on loving yourself 😉😘 - Posted from rhpmobile
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PurePeony
8 years ago
Reading your posts make me feel as if you are right here and we are sipping tea together, enjoying an arvo of frank girl talk! What kind of relationship are you in or prefer? Or are you single and playing when you want to, but would like to find someone? - I'm single atm. But to prevent cobwebs from building up, I have a FB for trysts that are way too irregular and rare for my liking but oh well... beggars can't be choosers! It's hard for me to find men I am attracted to because I'm so fussy, so when I find one, he's sorta like a gem. I would, of course, rather be with a proper bf. What do you like about the relationship you are in or looking for? - The current arrangement has forced me to change the way I view things. I have learnt to let go, and for the control freak and obsessive planner that I used to be, that's a huge lesson to learn! Almost died from heart attacks! LOL!!! :P I have learnt to just appreciate the moment and enjoy the sex, knowing that the next encounter could be half a year away or that could be the last... buh-bye! To be able to conquer that without acting up and trying to sink possessive claws into the person is so very liberating for me! It's made me realise that you can love different people in different ways and in this case, "love" means to accept him for the enigma that he is and to learn to accept the long periods of separation and disappearance without resentment but to live a full life myself in the interim. It has challenged me to turn all that I've thought about love upside-down. Love is not a one-size-fits-all concept - love for one man may be to let him feel that you belong to him but for another, love for him means that he wants to feel free and unfettered. In a way, I've learnt to appreciate people for who they are and not force anything on them. Are there any downsides in your personal experience? - Yes. I remain pretty much alone and left to my own defences. I would say, "devices", but sex toys just don't do anything for me.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Right back atcha I'm in the same situation as you but I'm enjoying my "boyfriend moments/experiences" with my FWB. Sometimes when I overthink, I do want more, however I think it's worth waiting it out because we're all going through life changes this year and it's good to have space to get on with our own lives. We still care for each other. There is fun in the mystery of the future. I think about how my past relationships were always full steam ahead. There is beauty in taking things slow and enjoying the many hook ups that we have and the fantasies we create. Distance makes the heart grow fond. Do you agree? Or because you come from a very fast-paced life, you can't help being horny and impatient? Hahaha I feel like that sometimes... but I try to settle myself. - Posted from rhpmobile
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PurePeony
8 years ago
Totally agree with you re taking things slow. I've given the alternative lifestyles a go and frankly, I'm not sure it's "better". Increasingly, the tendency to return to the "take it slow and savour it thoroughly" method increases. I feel the urge to establish a firm friendship first and foremost before venturing into a relationship. If you aren't even good buddies first, it's kinda no chance in hell you can survive the storms sorta risky scenario. Maybe we should be rational, take a step back, and do a "risk assessment" and / or cost-benefit analysis potential partners! LOL! As if love can ever be quantified / justified! :P I'm probably the slow poke in my "fast-paced life" because I'm watching my health challenges and don't want to become some crash dummy disaster. :P My horniness-initiated decisions are mainly due to my hormones - they make me morphe into an insatiable sex fiend sometimes! Hahaha! I've always had a pretty high libido. But the 40's unleashes a power surge of hormones like you won't believe! :P It helps that I've got an in-built Quality Control Centre that is very stringent. I'd rather squirm with the throes of lust than have trysts with any Tom, Dick or Harry...or should that be dick, penis and cock? ="D I can't give my best nor even pretend to be very interested if I'm simply not into the man. Maybe, I'm a pretty strong character looking for a stronger male character...and that can be a pretty tough call. So nice that you have a FWB for that boyfriend experience. ;) Where may I find myself one of those? :P Seriously speaking though, I'm often straddling the Madonna and the Whore identities - good, wholesome and traditional vs unconventional, courageous and sex fiend. :P I have a feeling that you might empathise with that because of personal experience? ;) BTW, there's a TV series, The Girlfriend Experience, about high-class social escorts. Pretty entertaining, although not scandalous enough.
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RHP User
8 years ago
You'd think I'd learn by now writing a massive long post on the RHP app and not copying before posting... it crashes and all is lost... now to write it again... gotta report that... why doesn't this app stay logged in 😓 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Regarding the whore identities, yes I struggled with that when I first came on RHP, but having met some great, open-minded people on here, we can't deny that we all love good sex. So why should we deny it if it's fun? Only if it hurts someone it's not fun. However if it's communicated beforehand then it should be ok. I think being friend with open communication is super important and very freeing. It took a long time for me to get to this stage. In my early 20s, I was crazy emotional - angry to possessive to upset to worry to excited to fear to annoyed. I learnt to control it, starting with anger as that was the most humiliating and tends to rear its ugly head the most, especially when dealing with stupid people or things not going MY way. These days I just take a moment, breathe and let it be, find clarity and judge whether the situation needs intervening - usually it doesn't. Next, the fun journey of finding out/creating who I am began. Also finding the person(s) I want in my life and holding onto that no matter what. I got he term "boyfriend experience" from a hooker/escort doco where men paid extra for the girlfriend experience. I don't think we should deny ourselves of such magnetic friendships and still have our own independence. It takes time to develop. I don't want a super strong or super weak partner. I want my equal... willing to please me as much as I'm willing to please them. I love honesty. If they are more advanced than me in one area, I'd expect them to come back down to my level and take it easy on me to encourage me to grow at my pace and vice versa. I force myself not to get angry at people because they will not tell me the truth if it's gonna make me go apeshit. I learnt that early on from my Mum. I'd sometimes not tell her stuff cos she'd worry herself silly. It didn't matter if she knew or not. It's my life I'm living. But with someone intimate it's a whole new level. In order to grow together, it's better to encourage each other not to keep things from one another but to open your minds and be curious of each other. We are always changing and there's always something new to learn about ourselves and each other. I've never hated any of my exes and never blamed them for not sharing their feelings or feeling their feelings. Forgiveness and knowing they will continue to be good people is all I want for them. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
There is nothing more amazing then finding that one person you feel you love deeply and you just know they are your best friend, lover and that company, that one person that always will be there for you. I am old school I believe in true love and appreciate everything there is in a great relationship xx
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