SxcMissM

SxcMissM

F56

Reluctance to attend Swingers Clubs and Parties

December 14 2018

When it comes to swingers parties or clubs what stops you from attending a party or club style venue? this question is aimed at both couples and singles M and F if you are a single female what stops you attending ?What are you looking for in the ideal space ?What is missing that makes you reluctant to attend an event?What are you looking for in an ideal scenario? I have attended both clubs and parties as a couple and a single and i have an idea of what i would like but am curious to get the opinions of others both single and coupled

Comments

  • megz85g

    megz85g

    6 years ago

    For me, knowing certain people are attending makes me avoid

  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    6 years ago

    A wing girl. I want someone to go with. Not a man. I don’t want to feel any pressure. Ideal scenario - all female event to start with. My age also. Feel a bit old, even though I’m fairly confident about myself.

  • Freaky_Fun

    Freaky_Fun

    6 years ago

    Nothing stops me. But then l am a little different, l don't get fazed by a lot 🤪

  • FeistyFatty

    FeistyFatty

    6 years ago

    For me its definetely my size. I would feel quite out of place with all the "beautiful people" in attendance.

  • SxcMissM

    SxcMissM

    6 years ago

    Feisty the parties and clubs i have been too have bodies of all shapes and sizes don't let that stop you i am more on the curvy side and that concerns me also but we are all attracted to different types so variety is good

  • noeleena

    noeleena

    6 years ago

    Hi. Whats stopping me now is males wont talk to or with me unless they are staff or hosts , I have been to many meetups and been totally ignored , yes my age at 71 not being a hot sexy chic not even being feminine in my facial features, So what guy would have the slightest bit of interest in who I am at all none, this was an eye opener for me I quess I expected this to be the case so was not at all surprised, I wondered as to myself would guys be interested just one out of 300 men up until 2 months ago not one. so for a single female I,v run out of options . I blame myself …...I,m just not sexy enough , and I think that sum,s it up, ...noeleena...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    I go to a club and party occasionally but the thing that stops me going more often is having someone you know to go with. I've been to a club once by myself and it didn't feel right, just sitting there. I like the social aspect and would feel more comfortable if I had someone I knew to chat to.

  • usnow

    usnow

    6 years ago

    The worry of who may be there .Not everyone knows how to keep a secret .And don't everyone say "you are all in the same situation " as that is definitely NOT true .Many people have nothing to lose , some actually do . Usnow .

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    6 years ago

    I have no reluctan

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    6 years ago

    I have no reluctance. As far a body size goes..... there are ALL shapes and sizes. I use to be a size 24. Never let it hinder me. If sime one is into you, it doesnt matter what size you are or how you look. Its about attitide and putting your confidence forth. Besides if you dont get fucked, you meet some great people along the journey. I'll just add, your perspective on beautiful people is very sibjective. Ive met some stunners who were just crap and Ive met some non stunners who are amazing. Don't let "beauty" deter you from experiencing an awesome time.

  • WishingWell

    WishingWell

    6 years ago

    Great topic! I like to attend swingers clubs with a playmate or 2 whereby we discuss each other's boundaries before going. But it's pretty much freedom to do whatever you want but check in with each other every now and then, you know have each others back. I don't think I could attend a club on my own without knowing anyone there, but that's just me.. Play parties that attract me are ones that are a bit different, kinky, and I generally prefer it if more males than females go, as I am a straight woman and can be a bit greedy at times 😉. Tbh the best parties I've been to have been singles only parties, as I've found with couples that some can become jealous or mainly stick to themselves. But each to their own.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    The people who attend contribute to the ambience of the event as do the hosts. From my experience what I’ve learnt is that you have to go with an open mind to events and make your own fun and have your own experience. At the end of the day you control what you get out of something by what you put into getting something. Definitely going with someone enables you to have your own fun with them in a more voyeurustic manner than what you may be used to (if they are that sort of friend)... But that aside it’s a matter of maintaining an open mind and making the most of the experience.

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    6 years ago

    What stops me is the thought of being left in the corner on my own, that no one would be interested and I’m not the outgoing kind of person that will walk up and talk to strangers.

  • Freaky_Fun

    Freaky_Fun

    6 years ago

    MissB You know l will always hold your hand. 😘😘 Ladies these are probably the one place we can go where our weight is not judged. I sure as shit know l wouldn't be seen at Surfers Paradise in a bikini but feel comfortable at clubs and parties. FFF Just for the record l think you're stunning.

  • Freaky_Fun

    Freaky_Fun

    6 years ago

    Oh and totally agree with WW. Couples can be very stand offish and only socialise with other couples. So much for the unicorn theory.

  • SxcMissM

    SxcMissM

    6 years ago

    When it comes to parties or clubs do you think that more intimate is better regarding numbers of couples or singles attending, getting the ratio and mix right or large scale where there can be up to 100 people attending?

  • sw1ng3rz

    sw1ng3rz

    6 years ago

    For me it’s definitely about my size. We looked into a couple of clubs in Sydney but all the advertising on line talked about attractive guest policy... while hubby loves all my curves I would be mortified being turned away at the door

  • HotNightsGC

    HotNightsGC

    6 years ago

    For us it’s the cliques or the ‘beautiful crowd that usually attend together on the same nights. We’ve found on these nights, there’s not much action happening as the majority of the crowd don’t or won’t mix with others.

  • curiousnhorny05

    curiousnhorny05

    6 years ago

    I have attended a couple. I think what makes it hard is not attending often thereby getting to know others. If I didn’t live hours away from the closest club that would help.

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    6 years ago

    Freaky fun would you really? 👏😘

  • abab1

    abab1

    6 years ago

    My wife and I had our first swinging experience at a party in Brisbane on holidays, there were nerves but we had a lot of fun. We thought it'd be a good way to see what happens and leave if we wanted. We stayed and played :) It wasn't until we got back to Townsville we actually met couples for a drink and possibly play. Now that felt awkward, kinda caught there trying to match up four people and felt like dating. After about six months we ran our own party of 10 couples and 5 single guys, no pressure to play for anyone, friends were made, we had a great time and swinging was fun again. Give me a good party over an awkward meet any day.

  • Freaky_Fun

    Freaky_Fun

    6 years ago

    Of course Miss B. I'm going away tomorrow for Xmas for a couple of weeks. When l get back we'll grab Eiliethiya and all go together. Xx

  • Dirtyandfriendly

    Dirtyandfriendly

    6 years ago

    Since I'm the single guy I won't go purely due to that. I've heard enough stories and a while ago I went to a house event alone and it was a complete sausage fest and wasn't my style. I was clearly over dressed for it too from what was there. If I ever go it will be with a female, I won't go alone ever. It's not that I'm scared or nervous, I just don't want to be that creepy single guy.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    MissB, Freaky is a great person to go with. She'll look out for you 🙂

  • sensualplay

    sensualplay

    6 years ago

    Great questions. Mr here is open to a wider variety of experiences and can do on his own, but the desire as a couple for us is different to what most swingers events offer. As a couple because majority of events are BYO or have bars that is an immediate reluctance for us as we prefer playtime to be with lots of presence and fun without drinking. Outside of this, the idea is really attractive and hot, but we guess it is mostly a fantasy. We'd love to attend something where people are friendly, on similar page with understanding consent, and what is an erotically sensual atmosphere (different to 'porno' banging style of things). We are not against people playing in what ever ways they enjoy, I guess we just have different tastes. We have attended a few parties that didn't have drinking involved and meet some lovely people. However, we still find some unwanted attention that kind of puts us off. We can see that if we gathered a group of like minded friends it would work more than random people. We're not sure how we'd set something up that would attracted like minded people. There is so much potential for an indulgent evening of fun and pleasure in the right setting. It is difficult enough to find one person on a similar page on swingers sites .... connection beyond pleasure is important for us as a couple. We do love meeting open minded people in a social setting and is what keeps us on this site in a way.

  • kiwiguyinperth

    kiwiguyinperth

    6 years ago

    For me it is firstly my size as I am a big guy. As someone else has mention you only see the "good looking" people on any adverts or pics taken at events. I also have a longterm partner and we were talking about this the other day and for her it is the thought of it being a sausage fest with too many guys that expect sex due to having paid the entry fee. It is something we have wanted to do for a while but very hesitant to do due to being worried about the type of crowd it may be. But I guess until you go you just dont know.

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    6 years ago

    Often l nominate to attend and have the intention but the obstacle is being unsure of who is going. Nothing worse than being like a stale bottle of piss on the table. Always better with a wing person and gets me there

  • House_of_Fun

    House_of_Fun

    6 years ago

    Quoting 'sw1ng3rz' For me it’s definitely about my size. We looked into a couple of clubs in Sydney but all the advertising on line talked about attractive guest policy... while hubby loves all my curves I would be mortified being turned away at the door I can highly recommend the Couples Club in Surry Hills to you. They are very inclusive, and people of all ages, shapes and sizes attend. I've been myself heaps of times, alone, with friends, or as a wing-woman for newbies. To answer the OP: My ideal space is laid-back and dimly lit, with a lounge and bar and separate play areas.I can wander around and choose whether to just watch or engage. What would stop me attending are parties aimed at a young and attractive crowd, or a too strict no single men policy.Also a club or party that doesn't feel clean, doesn't focus on safe sex, or allows smoking (which the CC sadly does sometimes).

  • Eiliethiya

    Eiliethiya

    6 years ago

    the same Missb! But I've been all over the place with Freaky (and other RHP'ers!) and I'm ok being left in the corner...people are chatty even if you don't initiate conversation, and I've never felt any pressure to play or be/do anything i'm not comfortable with! 😁Quoting 'Missb4u' What stops me is the thought of being left in the corner on my own, that no one would be interested and I’m not the outgoing kind of person that will walk up and talk to strangers.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    All teh parties and at times clubs are the same, all shape, sizes ages and everyone mingles smiles and talked and its a case of you can do it all or nothing at all....