M51
(Reprise) Married & attached men - what are you looking for?
November 29 2013
Comments
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Mr_MrsAraps
11 years ago
Did she not see how much effort was made in planning stuff like this ??? Her loss and the neighbours gain (I guess)
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
So..... submitting the story to Penthouse Letters? lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think you should tell your wife that you want to open the marriage up and for both of you to see other people. See what she says then.....
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On_Safari
11 years ago
You know what, I wish I was the one sitting in your next door neighbours backyard. lol damn me to hell....as I said in the needing to feel desired thread...so many women have these kinds of men and take them for granted. I'm with you Araps FFS!!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am totally lost for words!! I guess women have been complaining for years about being taken for granted but as we can see Alius , men also are copping a raw deal!! Ive always been a very giving and generous person and if I had a man do that for me I would be giving and giving and oh so generous!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
you woke up? Funnily enough, your wife sounds just like my ex husband. Are you sure you know what kind of 'sport' she was out playing?
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inspirit
11 years ago
sore leg....my arse
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RHP User
11 years ago
You said nothing to your wife about how it made you feel?? Instead you put up, and said nothing..... Sorry to take a big downer and turn into a man basher this time but dude it's not that hard to say "no it's our anniversary and I want you at home tonight, as I've got much planned for this very substantial day, and I'm not prepared to be 2nd best to a soccer game." - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mr_MrsAraps
11 years ago
At the very least sit down and have a serious talk to her about it and let her know how shit her actions and lack of affection made you feel after going to so much effort ... If you talk about it and she says what's the problem - ie doesn't take any responsibility, or tries to put the blame back to you for always wanting sex then I would be thinking - Danger Will Robinson!
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erotictouch4u
11 years ago
Alius...yours and mine must be sisters LOL Same deal...woken up with a cuppa every morning, cooking dinner and cleaning up every night after work, massage most nights before bed. All she does is sit on her ass at home on Facebook and never such a thing as a simple "thankyou" or "please", just orders. JayJay...yes some of us men try hard to be the perfect partner but just taken for granted. ET xox
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RHP User
11 years ago
I can not express in words how much I think you did the right thing. Who could possibly ignore a beautiful young woman especially when your wife treats you in such a manner. Some women are too lucky to know what they have.
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RHP User
11 years ago
is that you had to go to the Rocklea markets to get flowers, don't you have any green thumb neighbours
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nice fantasy...I assume...
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RHP User
11 years ago
if it isn't....you say in your poetical profile that your wife is no longer interested in sex and that she has told you to find a kitten....in that case tell her x R
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RHP User
11 years ago
Mate, hats off to ya. There ain't many men left like you in the world. Due to my anniversary near by, u have inspired me to do something out of the ordinary for my soul mate. It's the least she deserves considering everything she does for me and the kids with out ever questioning it. Sorry to hear about what she did mate but thanks for making me relies what my beautiful does for us without question... I hope she like what I do on the 4th of dec.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'd say that is a pretty typical story (minus the young nubile neighbour) and exactly why many men AND women are on sites like RHP. It takes two to make a relationship work but only one to let it fail. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why is everyone so quick to criticise his wife? Sexual disconnect, loss of intimacy and all that jazz is typically more complex than something a night of bubbly and massage can recover. She might well love him (as I did my partner for a decade, though he had zero interest in sex). She might well be grateful for his efforts. But she might not be able to just flick the sex and intimacy button back on. What's the history of her losing interest? What have they both done to contribute to it? What have either of them done to try to recover it? The romantic evening the OP planned was lovely but it also screamed 'let's get naked baby'. If she's lost interest in sex that would likely just make her feel pressured. It might even make her feel that he doesn't 'get' her, doesn't try, and is only focused on sex. I don't know the OP or his wife obviously, so I have no idea what was going on, but I do think human beings are a bit more complex than many of you are making out. I also think there's a path back to sex and intimacy for most couples - it often means trying something different than their usual strategy, and that's where a lot of couples fall apart I think - trying the same thing and expecting a different result. My husband felt intimate towards me when I was lighthearted, social, fun and lit up a room (not my natural state). I felt intimate towards him when we were alone, quiet, deeply connected in meaningful conversation or emotion (not his natural state). No amount of bubbly or massages was going to bridge that gap for us. In the end it just didn't work and we separated. So my question is, what's at the heart of her loss of interest? And my comment is, please, don't be so quick to judge and criticise.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Asked her why?, why she agreed on your anniversary to do something else rather than be with you, why she isn't 'interested'. There has to be a reason. If all is true as you wrote, then you obviously love and desire her, so what is missing for her? You don't need to remind her of your efforts, don't speak about what YOU want, concentrate on getting HER to talk and then ask her for her recommendations...... Later on you can come back and say 'I've been thinking about what you've said' and then suggest opening up the relationship. Anyway, there's my 2 cents worth.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Alius'A trip to the Rocklea flower markets and a few hours of menial labour later the house was immaculate and filled with the scent that only 10 bunches of fleshly cut can produce. Of what? 10 bunches of freshly cut WHAT?!?!?! . You can't leave us hanging like that!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have seen you make that comment before. Why are you such a doormat? I don't get it, you must like it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
We can't comment on the lack of intimacy in their life.... I think most people are judging her harshly because she was inconsiderate and insensitive.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
" The romantic evening the OP planned was lovely but it also screamed 'let's get naked baby'. If she's lost interest in sex that would likely just make her feel pressured." A night of closeness, affection, a swim and cuddle in the pool, massage doesn't necessarily lead to sex (though if it were me it would)...... I've often been the long term Mistress/Lover, usually exclusive (faithful to married men, yes stupid and unfulfilling emotionally in many ways) but hey; I'm learning what mistaked NOT TO MAKE when I/he find each other. The men I give of myself to are at a certain professional level where the wives are spoilt, have nice homes, nice lives, don't need to work but if they are worth their salt do. Have lovely kids they're proud of and a seemingly idyllic social and family setting. Yup everything. It's easy to take that for granted when your husband is obviously still "romancing" or "doting" on them. Responsive to thier needs (or lack of them!! Mocking grunt). Alius and his wife may connect on every other level of commitment, friendship, caring and respect for each other but without possitively reaffirming that desirability for each other through intimacy and oneness the relationship is flawed. If she's so wrapped up in "her world" which admittedly happens (even in my failed marriage) the HIS NEEDS are secondary and with some women not registered at all. I'm not being harsh about women and yes there's two sides to every story. Men crave our love too.....and for the likes of DG, Jay_Me, Unrushed I know somewhere deep within they too seek "the one woman they will burn in desire with for eternity" My downfall is, I'm not physically or emotionally perfect and my flaws are out there for all to see but I will never take the man/men in my future for granted because they too are worth every moment of reciprocated "desire" and dare I say "love" I can share. I loathe complacent wives/husbands, they truly don't know what they're missing. Yes Alius, tell her you'd like to explore an open marriage due to a lack of intimate and emotional connection. Or atleast table that topic of discussion for open debate. http://redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/The-need-to-be-desired-42859 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Obviously there are some very deeply ingrained issues when it comes to intimacy in the OPs relationship, so I am actually wondering how anyone - including the OP himself - could think that him making her dinner and offering a massage with the obvious intention of having sex afterwards was going to even begin to fix things. There is only one way that you are going to move forward in some way, and that is by talking to her. We have no idea what the issues actually are for her, and obviously you are going to present things in a light that make us sympathetic towards you and label her as a selfish bitch. But I'm not going to make any judgements about who is 'wrong' here. It's probably both of you. You have indicated in another forum that you don't want to separate, so you can either keep going the way you are, or you can talk to her and come to some sort of agreement that makes you both happy, or at least happier. Life is a series of choices, and some of them are fucking hard ones.
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RHP User
11 years ago
While I certainly appreciate any and all feedback (including the completely predictable and negative snipe from 1 trick pony) I was trying to provide some sort of contextual insight as to why married men might seek affairs as per the original thread. There is so much more to a well rounded and long lasting relationship than sex. I just wish I could have it all (as we all do). The reality is if I left and hooked up with a hot young lover I would probably end up with a larger hole in my life on balance .. back to square one ? I guess the real question is should I deny myself and go without or bend the rules rather than burn the house down ? There is no easy answer is the gist of it. * I honour the commitments I make regardless of whether that integrity is reciprocated or not - just who I am. * I have discussed the situation ad nausea with the wife and ultimately told her I will be accepting that which she does not want to give from others should the opportunity present itself (as per my profile). This is not the same as an open marriage as she still insists she has no interest in doing the same despite my encouragement to do so in the hope it would kindle her 'spark' ? * Mes, the 10 bunches of cut flowers were all different - I'm no florist and just pick what looks and smells great - of course the centre-piece was red roses ... and there was lots of purple I noticed later ? * Special thanks to Indy for the leg-up :) * The question of whether it is fiction or otherwise is irrelevant to message ... I wish I was that creative. 'These things can happen in REAL life' is the sub-plot aimed at other men in my situation - You just need to be prepared to go with it when it falls in your lap.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
.....hence my separation.....AND MAKING THOSE HARD CHOICES!!! The words may be borrowed but the sentiment is mine..... Dear Husband, We haven’t had any communication in a while, and it’s given me time I needed to think. Remember when you said we should live with each other and be unhappy so we could be happy? Consider it a testimony to how much I love you that I spent so long pouring myself into that offer, trying to make it work. But my friend took me to the most amazing place the other day, it’s called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came, they trashed it along with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome’s first true great Emperor, how could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would one day be in ruins? It’s one of the quietest and loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up, around it over centuries, feels like a precious womb, like a heartache you won’t let go of…as it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same, Michael. Settle for living in misery because we’re afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked around this place, at the chaos it’s endured, the way it’s been adapted, burnt, pillaged then found a way to build itself back up again and I was reassured. Maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic, it’s just the world that is and the only real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation. Even in this eternal city, the Augusteum showed me that we must always be prepared for endless waves of transformation. Both of us deserve better than staying together because we’re afraid we’ll be destroyed if we don’t. And we are both being destroyed and destroying each other by staying together. I packed my things, have been homeless in recent months (yes homeless!!) had no money, no job, nothing but guess what. During that period I have also received kindness (no not charity), seen the best and the worst of a town and it's people, been shat on by family members, told I'm a disgrace, been lonely but not alone and ultimately had some pretty damn happy moments!! It's hard right now, unbelievably hard and it's not over yet and may even get worse if my "pie" doesn't work out BUT I'm stronger, hopefully a little wiser and actually at peace with both my mistakes and my choices because I know I'm doing the right thing for all of us and that I have done everything I can to protect those I love and guess what? I'm valuing and loving myself and my life more and more each and everyday. Relevance to the topic OP, maybe for both of you to achieve this you should make the hard choice to discuss the issues and grow together again or "let go and grow" on your own. And to quote the boys "Man the fuck up!"
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why do I feel like sometimes I am reading the story of my life (goes off checking for Auryn in the bottom drawer) Alius, if this is what happens for your double digit anniversary it might just be time to sit down with the other half and have a serious heart to heart discussion and see what can be done to re-spark the flame. Also... secrets can cause issues, especially if the girl next door comes back for seconds... better to be open and honest even if you have permission to find a 'kitten'. JayJay... can I borrow your kitchen please? ET, why 'try hard to be the perfect partner'? is it not better and easier to just be yourself? That way nobody can take you for granted. (a lesson from my recent past). SG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Alius... So you see yourself with this situation for the next 30 or 40 years? And you will be happy? You won't regret that you could have gone out and found it all with one person?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Alius... So you see yourself with this situation for the next 30 or 40 years? And you will be happy? You won't regret that you could have gone out and found it all with one person? There are men out there who know they could have it all....yet still don't take it
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inspirit
11 years ago
Suck it up princesses. Woman cop just the same.
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erotictouch4u
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' ET, I have seen you make that comment before. Why are you such a doormat? I don't get it, you must like it. Not a doormat Meeka, just patient and not the type of bastard male who would throw a woman out onto the street with no job, money or other place to go. I was brought up to respect women, never to be violent against them and I would not abandon my young son either. When he is ready we will both seek peace alone together. Quoting 'Amicus75' ET, why 'try hard to be the perfect partner'? is it not better and easier to just be yourself? That way nobody can take you for granted. (a lesson from my recent past). In such situations Amicus it is always easier to blame the other person but I always look at what I am doing to make sure I am not at fault, hence trying to be "the perfect partner" to see if anything changes, but nothing did.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'eagertongue4u' Quoting 'Meeka100' ET, I have seen you make that comment before. Why are you such a doormat? I don't get it, you must like it. Not a doormat Meeka, just patient and not the type of bastard male who would throw a woman out onto the street with no job, money or other place to go. I was brought up to respect women, never to be violent against them and I would not abandon my young son either. When he is ready we will both seek peace alone together. Errr......... where did that come from? Not sure if I should be insulted that you would think I am suggesting you should be violent or throw your wife out on the street because she doesn't say thank you when you bring her a cup of tea. I was thinking more along the lines of,,, hey why not stop bringing her tea every morning. But if you feel that waiting until your son is ready before abandoning your wife makes it better, well okay. Sounds to me like you are an enabler, you enable your wife to be the way she is. And by that I am making the assumption based on your comment that she does nothing all day but play on facebook while you do all the work.
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RHP User
11 years ago
A lot of comments here are based on one evening of your relationship, and told from your side only..Now, I struggle with that, In fact, my ex could have written the first part of your story. The caring, loving partner who so thoughtfully plans a great night while his other half is nothing but unappreciative and self-centred..We don't know what the other days in your house are like. Was her going out after dinner unexpected? Did she really only tell you after dinner, without any forewarning whatsoever? Were there things leading up to this? Does she feel you're as attentive and thoughtful as you present yourself?.Frankly I find your story very convenient. I would very much like to hear her version of events.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nice story. The smell of weed bringing two together haha. It sounds like you put a lot of effort into that night. Also I might add football goes for 90mins, not a few hours ;). It is hard to respond to this. It is quite conflicting - especially with kids and a wife involved. On one hand you really do need to communicate the issues you two have. But on the other hand - I have a feeling maybe it is too late for change. In the end you need to make a decision and act on it. Life is to be lived not waiting.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Also from what Mez said - she is right. I can't read your story and see you as the victim as it is missing the context outside of that night, and her perspective. But clearly there is a problem and it is effecting you and your wife. Especially if she'd prefer to play football (for a few hours) instead of sex on your anniversary. And with each rejection - sex is only going to get worse and cause further problems. good luck
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RHP User
11 years ago
What Mesmerised said... My ex presents me in this way too... And I him sometimes... We all get caught up in our own version of events... There's always three sides to every story, his side, her side and the truth! It sounds to me like she certainly did not expect you to do anything for the anniversary, why would that be? Suddenly being mr perfect does not undo years of neglect. GET YE TO A COUNCILLOR! Yes I'm yelling! Being separated and sharing custody of kids sucks for everyone. Make it work!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Awesome71' Suddenly being mr perfect does not undo years of neglect. My ex was in town recently, and took me out to dinner. He was attentive, funny and warm and footed the bill without hesitation, despite being very stingy by nature. However when he invited himself to house sit for me for several weeks when I'm going on holiday, I had to tell him that one nice evening could not undo the many ugly things that had happened between us. I explained I couldn't be friends with him overnight and he took it really well I thought. Until the next day when he came at me with guns blazing, and Mr Hyde was back..
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Alius' We ate dinner together, discussed the ups and downs of our tenure, achievements we were proud of so far and our plans for the future ... That's exactly what my ex and I did, and doesn't mean all is well.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It is indeed the OP's fault. As I'm sure you can attest to, only those within the relationship know what's happening. In fact they often don't understand the dynamic either! Although it takes two to make a relationship work it only takes one to make it fail or to choose to end it. We can't know his wife's position and I refuse to make a judgement based on a story, a single event or even one personal observation. OP, I'm hoping you'll encourage your wife to participate in some counseling or other activities to reconnect. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kaleidoscope' Ladies, let's not assume It is indeed the OP's fault. Oh, I'm not. I'm saying that we are only hearing the OP's side, seen through his eyes. That does not a balanced, objective story make..Maybe she is unappreciative on a daily basis. Maybe he is not attentive everyday. You are right, we don't know what happens between closed doors and the dynamics.
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RHP User
11 years ago
An athletic woman who plays soccer.....lucky bugger!
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GezWouldGo
11 years ago
Any thread that requires scroll loses me.
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wetrynplease
11 years ago
That is a poor effort on so many levels... Unsure if this is a true story or some manufactured bullshit meant for a Picture mag forum but am baffled at how shallow you are. 1st - you are on here with a single male profile, why? 2nd - though you have a wife and family, you are telling stories of you behaing like a dog and sowing your oats where you feel 3rd - knowing fully that you have every intention of playing with someone's partner is premeditated and deserving of brutal retaliation - you deserve no sympathy! Would luv to hear the whole story but Marriage is give and take, enough said! Sharing and open relationships are great and a benefit to my marriage BUT only when done honestly, openly and with the knowlegde and consent of all parties or it is plain cheating... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kaleidoscope' I'd say that is a pretty typical story (minus the young nubile neighbour) and exactly why many men AND women are on sites like RHP. It takes two to make a relationship work but only one to let it fail. - Posted from rhpmobile I found RHP by accident. After 16 years of being married, the last 5 being totally "loveless" I guess I was looking for something that was missing in my life. How do our partnerships become so taken for granted that we stop working on them?After finding RHP I could have just starting having affairs and stayed with my partner for another 10 years until my child was older but I decided that I owed it to myself to start re-living life and hopefully have some fun along the way.It's not easy at the age of 43,(or any age) but hopefully I will find out who I am, or rather who I used to be.I do agree that it takes two people to make a relationship work BUT it also takes two to make it fail. I guess at some stage we all have to start being honest with ourselves
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RHP User
11 years ago
Maybe your wife arranged that little encounter with the "neighbour" as her gift for you? Probably wishful thinking but it would have been very thoughtful of her ;-). Sounds like you got well rewarded for your efforts regardless of how it came about .....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Unfortunately once one person has checked out of the marriage it's very hard to make it work. When one party says it's over it is indeed over and that is why I say it takes ONE person to make it fail. It doesn't matter how much the second party might want it to work it takes BOTH parties being engaged and committed to fixing or maintaining a successful relationship. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kaleidoscope' Unfortunately once one person has checked out of the marriage it's very hard to make it work. When one party says it's over it is indeed over and that is why I say it takes ONE person to make it fail. It doesn't matter how much the second party might want it to work it takes BOTH parties being engaged and committed to fixing or maintaining a successful relationship. - Posted from rhpmobile You are right
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
I still call bullshit on the story..... too many inconsistencies.JMO.. but there. Said what half of us were thinking. But OP.... you ask ..... "Would it be insensitive to tell her what had happened given it was our anniversary or would she appreciate the honesty over and above the insensitivity ?" Insensitive?!Seriously?? Do you think this happening on your anniversary is what makes it insensitive?! DG
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erotictouch4u
11 years ago
Did not want to hijack Alius' post, just wanted to let him know he was not alone in how he was dealt with on that occasion, but willing to continue offline with you if you wish.ET xox
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RHP User
11 years ago
what happened next?If the girl was so into you,did you arrange for more?Is she indeed the answer to your looking for a ''kitten'' dilemma? It is interesting that none of the married men with daughters have responded to Meeka's question ...would you want your 25-35 year old daughter to be a married man's ''kitten''....it has certainly never factored into the hopes and dreams I have had for my 29 year old daughter
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RHP User
11 years ago
Having had very similar experience. The Lion has always put others before himself.... And so. This is why married men continue to chase their needs and desires... You cannot blame them.. Xxx - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mr_MrsAraps
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kaleidoscope' Unfortunately once one person has checked out of the marriage it's very hard to make it work. When one party says it's over it is indeed over and that is why I say it takes ONE person to make it fail. It doesn't matter how much the second party might want it to work it takes BOTH parties being engaged and committed to fixing or maintaining a successful relationship. - Posted from rhpmobile Totally agree
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RHP User
11 years ago
Funny you should ask Freya ... if the man you had dreamed of for her didn't take her for granted she wouldn't have been sitting alone in a foreign backyard looking to the stars for salvation ? I would want my daughter to be happy whatever that entailed for her. Looks like the subject matter has stimulated lots of thoughtful discussion among my fellow RHP users - I'm happy about that. I had never thought of myself as a guy who could get it all from one wonder-woman if I just moved on ? Must admit it made me feel good to hear one espouse it :) A little real life reinforcement and I might just take to that idea ? Feels unrealistic though according to my current life experience ? @DG if only I gave a fuck what you thought ... trouble is your negativity and propensity to do nothing but citicize and admonish others precedes you. Make a contribution for once and I promise I'll return the favour.
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RHP User
11 years ago
24 and married 5 years and ive never stopped doing romantic things like that cooking ravioli from scratch and chocolate coated cherries and in the last 3 years sex every 2 months (if im lucky) :( and havnt even got birthday sex in last 2 years. and no girls and boys before you ask i havnt let myself go and neither has she but us men still get judged for ending up here..... and looking to make love and be wanted elseware as everyone needs that effection :).
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RHP User
11 years ago
my daughter is 3 going on 4 but in my opinion if i knew her husband was neglecting her id either go give him a tune up or tell her that famous daddy line (do what ever makes u happy honey).
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nobody is a Wonder Woman, but you can find women who more closely fit your needs and wants maybe more so than your wife. Sounds like you have been unhappy for a long time. I know it's easy for me to say but I would ask your wife if she really wants the marriage to work & go to counselling because I get the impression that you do want it to work. Does she? You only live once so make the best of it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sound advice there Meeks... But that is the key question... Do they both want to not only keep what they have... But to improve on the other areas that they are not happy with. Sometimes it's timing, one partner wants to salvage and get councilling and the other doesn't want to... And by the time that partner wants to try, the other may have given up... So was true in my marriage... I dragged my heels years ago when things could have been overcome and by the end I saw nothing left to want in the relationship... Hp xo 💌 Because we all desire happiness...
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Quoting 'Alius' @DG if only I gave a fuck what you thought ... trouble is your negativity and propensity to do nothing but citicize and admonish others precedes you. Make a contribution for once and I promise I'll return the favour. The fact that you (a) replied, with aggressive defensiveness ....and (b) replied inferring youve read many of my previous posts.... incorrectly though.... suggests you DO care. But, anyhoooo... lets get back on track.You didnt address the point about insensitivity.... which is what YOU asked. " Would it be insensitive to tell her what had happened given it was our anniversary or would she appreciate the honesty over and above the insensitivity ?" Would it be insensitive... on any other day.... if she knew?Or does the anniversary make it more insensitive... or less? Im asking you seeing as you raised it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think that was meant to be a rhetorical questions Dude!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think people are focusing on all the fluff but are not focusing on what is important. And that is the marriage itself. Telling your husband to go find another women because you are not interested and will never be interested(????) even when the husband clearly doesn't want to ........ I mean what is the way forward here?
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's very sad. Why did you get married at 19? That is completely nuts! Sorry, that's probably a bit rude but I can't get my head around why people get married young unless they are strict Catholics. Good luck though.
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RHP User
11 years ago
My ex wife and I had a pretty wild sex life to begin with. Don't we all?? Then the honeymoon period ends, and things settle into a groove.... The groove becomes a rut....temptations are vividly challenging both people as the fire is starting to dwindle due to everyday pressures; kids, finances, etc. You become so consumed with what you're missing out on, that you fail to see what you've actually got. Pretty soon, one party - or both - begin to wonder all about the "if only" scenarios. Seeking SOMETHING, ANYTHING to blame for the fire starting to get cold, instead of ourselves. Marriage falls apart as both are waiting for the other to give them a sign that it's worth salvaging.....instead of one or both parties taking that step.... However..... As someone else has already mentioned, if you're facing that there's only one person trying, it's time to make a decision for YOU. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
As above - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
And realized that I was no longer going to be unhappy, so I left. Was he happy that I made the decision, probably not, but was I happy about, yes I was. Was it hard & scary, hell yes it was. I walked out of our house, out of all the materialistic shit id had for the past 10 years, I was now going to be a single parent with 3 kids (6, 3, & 1) in a small, judgemental, narrow minded town ( because they had one idea what our life was like behind closed doors) I divorced him excatly 12 months later, I gave him the house, and everything in it. (because he was the materialistic one not me) i got our kids. I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life in a loveless, sexless, sometimes scary marriage. Life is just to bloody short, and he has thanked me for it on more than one occasion, because he was just as unhappy............ good luck with everything - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
The point I'm attempting to make is you have a clear decision to stay and talk it out(discuss the options of seeking sex or whatever it is you seek with others), or leave. It's not a hard choice, but it takes an honest(to themselves) person to make a decision. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
Well said....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hmm .. you didn't even need to end up here to find someone that wants you .. :) mwah :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Have to disagree on one thing Meeka .. it's not necessarily nuts that he got married at 19 at all .. strong sense of doing what he thought was right at the time perhaps .. & maybe he had his heart set that it would be a lifetime thing & was prepared to honour that .. ? Getting married older does not guarantee a perfect relationship or that the marriage will last or be honoured from either party .. think the amount of over 40 year old married men on this site is testament to that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Your 20's should be for exploring, experimenting, travelling, having fun, doing outrageous things, etc. Getting married and having kids was not even a consideration for me. I mean why get so serious so soon? You have your whole life to do that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
& you can also do that while older also .. like a lot do in their retirement years lol .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Different stokes for different folks...The main potential problem is that the later you breed, should that be something that you desire, is the problems of actually getting pregnant and the potential for abnormalities...Two very good reasons for breeding young.Also young breeders will be empty nesters in their early 40's... and are often very content with their family life... and able to explore their sexual desires, without restrictions. hp xoBecause you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Retirement!! Why on earth would you wait until then? I guess it's a personal thing but getting married young and having kids was something that never entered my head, even for a second. Most of my close friends and family didn't do that either.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Highpriority' Different stokes for different folks...the main potential problem is that the later you breed,T should that be something that you desire, is the problems of actually getting pregnant and the potential for abnormalities...Two very good reasons for breeding young.Also young breeders will be empty nesters in their early 40's... and are often very content with their family life... and able to explore their sexual desires, without restrictions. hp xoBecause you're worth it... We are not cattle, lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
our sex life was never the best even at the start but.....i fell in love and the sex only got bad after the birth of our daughter who is going to be four in january. ever since she came out of my wifes nether yaya lol (vagina) my wife wont let anything in except my penis....on rare occasion like every two months and yes that means i hadnt tasted pussy in almost 4 years coz she didnt let me lick her out when she was pregnant either. but the only bad thing in our relationship is the sex everything else is 100% awsome but i am stuck with what i have and im ok with a little sacrifice as my daughter wont be young long and ill be a more distinguished man later on and still be able to play ;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
... To exercise ones right of replacement... 😄 Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sun_kissed yours by far is the most intelligent comment I have read thus far. Takes two to make intimacy in a relationship we don't know the details . I think its sad that some reckon Alius is a stud for making hay as he put it with the neighbour! Perhaps he needs to sit down openly talk with your missus and work out where you should both go if you don't feel right anymore then tell her. Surely 20 years must be worth fighting for if not then walk away (:
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well i doubt that applies to the general population because you & most of your family & friends didn't get married or have children but anyway .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Like you said it is a personal choice .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'passion8_1' Well i doubt that applies to the general population because you & most of your family & friends didn't get married or have children but anyway . No that is not what I said, they have had children. But my closest friends and my own sister who met her partner at the age of 21, and they are still together 20 years later, waited until they were in their 30's before starting a family. So most couples waited to get a little established and alot were together for 5 - 10 years before popping out kids. And yes that is probably not the general population. To me, you actually grow and change so much in your 20's. If I had a child that wanted to get married before the age of 25 I would strongly argue against it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Highpriority' Different stokes for different folks...The main potential problem is that the later you breed, should that be something that you desire, is the problems of actually getting pregnant and the potential for abnormalities...Two very good reasons for breeding young.Also young breeders will be empty nesters in their early 40's... and are often very content with their family life... and able to explore their sexual desires, without restrictions. hp xoBecause you're worth it... Hey HP, I was thinking more as in your late 20's or early 30's before starting a family.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I had my first child at 27. Got married at 32. Seperated first time at 39, not whipping the dead horse anymore. My friends and fsmily all had careers and lives before marriage and children. Most have thankfully survived and live happily on. Would I want my daughters to marry before 30, no effing way. And thankful actually that they aren't in a rush for kids either. The oldest is 22 and yes our family is a blended one for those doing the math. I have always encouraged my girls to live life for themselves first, men cum and go by nature; when they meet "the one" I hope it will truly be everything they could hope for. As a tangent to conversation though, we have friends, they met at 12yo, were high school sweethearts, inseparable.....had 2 boys, bought a house, a business, got married 2yrs ago after already spending 25yrs in bliss together. Never been with any other partner and still going strong. Now THAT'S love and a soulmate. Rare and practically unheard of in this day and age. Then again 2 of the brothers in law married their high school sweethearts and they're in a similar boat.....(shrugs) some people just strike it lucky I guess.
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RHP User
11 years ago
LIVE AND LET LIVE EVERYONE FOR THEMSELVES! HAVE FUN PEOPLE ;) .CARL
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RHP User
11 years ago
Respectfully... your wife doesn't appreciate your efforts so your answer is to get stoned, bang your neighbours girlfriend and then tell everyone on RHP. Mate... If that's your attitude then perhaps there may well be other reasons at play as to why your wife doesn't appreciate you? Agreed everyone has needs and a right to feel valued in their relationship but cutting your neighbours grass to get back at your wife rather than having a mature, adult conversation with her says a lot more about you than it does her. Respectfully. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'threesomeplusone' Respectfully... your wife doesn't appreciate your efforts so your answer is to get stoned, bang your neighbours girlfriend and then tell everyone on RHP. Respectfully. - Posted from rhpmobile You make it sound like he planned it that way.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I do believe threesome was being very respectful. I think they raise a very valid perspective. Does it make his choices more palatable because he didn't 'plan' his actions?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Great post, and my sentiments exactly.
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