M51 F46
Respond v's Not Respond
June 02 2018
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
Most people that are just not interested in the first place will simply not respond to any message. For those that make communication and get to the point of possibly meeting then disappear, perhaps you could assume they aren't quite who they say they are and cannot possibly go through with an actual meeting without getting found out. Just one theory. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
I do realise that lots of people aren’t who they say they are - I seem to have a knack for finding them. It’s just frustrating when I am sincere in wanting to meet - albeit I do require planning - and get my hopes up only to have them spectacularly let down time and time again. - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
Is common on here. Water off a ducks back for us - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
I've learnt never to get my hopes up. Took a leaf out of advice from the Shawshank Redemption :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
I have had dates not turn up 3 times for simple coffee dates, so as far as I'm concerned it happens to everyone. But in your case it obviously includes disappearing before you actually set the date and time. The problem is you have to go through many of this scenario before the right one eventually happens. So not getting your hopes or expectations up might save you from heartache later, but then you then have to fake a certain level of enthusiasm if you are not really feeling it. A future suitor might see your lack of enthusiasm as a lack of interest in them and disappear for a different reason. So you end up just feeling stuck. Some people have reasons for ghosting but because they've ghosted you, you'll never know those reasons or get any feedback from them. The person ghosting may think it only has an immediate impact but it actually has a flow on impact. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Oh I am the Queen of being stood up lol I swear its in my genetics to be stood up... I do know not to take it personally, however it is hard to not take it personally at times... And I'm that rare female who actually likes to contribute to the chats and have a say and espcially want to be able to talk to the female part of a couple and I don't think lots of men know how to handle a strong minded sometimes opinionated red head lol - hence the warning on our profile!! Still waiting for someone brave enough to think that they can tame me for a night!! ;-)
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sweetnsensual
7 years ago
We have had our fair share of no shows people cancelling ten mins before they are suppossed to arrive Normally when you have arranged a date you know if people are keen if they continue contact. If they ghost you a couple of days prior its a given they arnt coming!Dont lose hope Xena we would love to see you again!H
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The_Antichrist
7 years ago
I don’t care if I get a response or not... No response is a response and I’m easily moved on as I don’t invest greatly into the outcomes.... But if they tell me I’m not for them, well the end result is the same....I just move on and think nothing of it.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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OkeyDoke45
7 years ago
This happened to me only yesterday - a ''couple'' messaged me some days before wanting to meet up with me at their house to see if they liked me and possibly have some fun. I have been conned before, and I had my suspicions, but ''they'' added a few new innovations I had not seen before that convinced me they could be legit. Was I prepared to risk another disappointment? Well, yes. Long story short, yesterday morning ''they'' were as keen as mustard, it was all going ahead and I was to be at their place ''around lunchtime''. I wasted a couple of hours of my precious downtime driving out to and around their area (in a rural suburb) and boring myself silly while they were (apparently) stuck in another suburb running unavoidable errands. Eventually I just parked up in a local pub, had a beer and waited. By this time I was no longer getting responses to my messages (just enough to be inquisitive, not too many so that I sounded desperate) and I packed it in after a couple of beers. I am like anybody else who has been stood up/ghosted/whatever - I just cannot understand why people (in this case, 99.999999% positive it was either a single man or the male half of a couple that's gone rogue) would want to waste so much time trying to organize a hook up that they actually have no intention of following through with when it comes to the crunch. I think there are a lot of tyre-kickers out there - they really really think they want it until it comes time to commit, then they're gone like a popped balloon. I initially felt a bit angry on the drive home, and comforted myself with truly petty revenge fantasies that may or may not have ensured I fell foul of the law. I was going to carpet-bomb his profile here until I was blocked (if I am not already). I was going to do similar to his Kik profile, just spam the motherfucker for days - even if I had to wake myself every few minutes of a night to do it. I was going to set fire to my own car and drive it into his hedge (jumping out at the last second of course), then I realized that the only one that would really lose out on that deal was me. My car is only a few years old and still in near-new nick. In the end, I just decided to just let it go - wasted enough time on ''them'' as it is. I do admit, though, to harboring secret fantasies about how I will respond should ''they'' try to message me again. Sometimes petty feels good. I shall try again with the next couple that message me, knowing all the whilst that I am probably just lining myself up again - to date I have only had one genuine couple out of the half-dozen that I have entered into conversations with - the rest have either just eventually confessed to being the male only just looking to try it on with another male (I actually respect the honesty even if it is late), or god knows what. The alternative, however, is just to give up altogether, and potentially miss out on some great experiences. The trick is just waiting for the diamond in the rough I suppose.
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RHP User
7 years ago
There is a Diamond in amongst all the rubbish on here just need to be patient good things come to those who wait. But we do like to reply to all unless its the same person time after time. Then there are times when we just forget to reply. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
That my situations were not necessarily with fakes, because one I heard from at a later date mentioned cold feet, and another I managed to meet after granting her a second chance months later (although nothing further eventuated, no mutual chemistry). - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetnsensual
7 years ago
Yes it can be very frustrating especially if it's someone you think you have common interests with. I've certainly had my share of disappointment. You are a super stunning woman in mind and body and we would absolutely love to see you again H 😍😍😍 - Posted from rhpmobile
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NaughtyPandaV02
7 years ago
whenever i message someone who has flirted with me,i usually open my private pics for themi always make a point in my message to say-happy to chat further if you are interested,but if not just a quick message to say that i am not what you are looking for is always appreciatedsome people do but most people don't respond at alli find it quite it quite inconsideratedoesn't particularly bother me too much,just cant understand why so many people can't be bothered with a basic level of consideration for others,especially after they have initiated contact in the first place
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couplakiwis
7 years ago
First of all I checked out your profile...and your serious? You get no shows, thats hard to believe. Anyway I digress, we haven't had any no-shows per say but have definately had the messages come to a complet stop when it comes time to meet. I will say that in all of these situations photos had not been swapped yet so im guessing gohsting or a single person with a fake couples profile maybe, or are they the same thing? That's why we prefer to swap photos early on in the piece, i mean if there's no attraction then whats the point in the convo unless you are looking to just make friends. If so then were cool with that, i mean it's kind of nice to have like minded people that you can talk to about all of this as its not normally a family banter type of topic. I try to answer all messages or flirts if I can but when my girl looks like she does sometimes it's a little much to keep up with. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Yes Kiwi we get no showsEven kik messages saying just crossing the street and will be there soonWe have met two amazing girls and a a great couple but have had 4 no shows before thatEven were going to host a couple and we bought steak wine food and 2 hours before nothinghave been stood up by single girls who suddenly have a great guy that could join as wellwe fully expect to be stood up next time we arrange a meetHi Freshcpl
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sensualjs
7 years ago
We've had our fair share of ghosters. Many while messaging before a meet but the last guy we actually met for a drink, organised a time to play a couple of days later, and then he disappeared into the same hole that most seem to fall into as well lol. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
I can’t believe, anybody would want to stand you up Xena. Wow, hot body. I know, off topic I used to think. Why, once you know your message has been read. Why people don’t respond. Then I worked it out, I think. For many, they must have hundreds of messages and only respond to thos, that gets their attention. Fair enough. To not turn up to an arranged meeting. Well, all I can say. Pricks. If it counts for anything. You’re better off, without them. Yet, that doesn’t fix the problem. What’s the answer, who knows. Maybe, more messages, talking on the phone. That may tell, if a person is genuine. From picking up, their attitude etc In my own situation. I’ve only arranged to meet five people. I suppose ive been lucky, all have turned up All I can say. Stay positive. Be happy, with those who do turn up Wang
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codsworth
7 years ago
I hate being stood up Its just so rude to waste people's time And it doesn't feel good And it makes you question yourself It shouldn't tho Its their problem not yours trying to understand why they do it is a fools errand There is just too many reasons People can be fakes, have issues, get cold feet or something wildly out there Ive been stood up many times First time was the worst, i had setup my house, bought special drinks, cooked super special dinner, bought candles, massage oils and all sorts of stuff...i was going to pleasure them so good. Last contact was them saying they were 5mins away Then ghosted I've even been stood up on a 3rd date that she invited me to, then ghosted for weeks and reinvited later .. seriously wtf? I was told by a Girlfriend forget them because they are not worth your time or energy and to save those things for the people who deserve it, save it for people who can appreciate the bliss you bring This advice made me feel much better I hope it helps you too Xena - Posted from rhpmobile
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FredAndGinger2
7 years ago
We meet a lot of great people and never get stood up. How do we do it? Well after a couple of years of experiential learning (some really negative experiences in the first 6 months) we've found that the best way for us to meet others is in a group social setting. We now organise our own events in regular bars around Melbourne and we get 10 to 30+ couples come along every time. At each of our events there are couples new to the scene and they appreciate the non-intimidating and clothes-on atmosphere to dip their toes in and get to chat face to face with others. Fred - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Weeeelllll, Xena you are certainly not alone and given the courage it takes most people to shed the mainstream programming they have been raised on to take a dip in these waters its seems particularly unkind of people to use the necessary anonymity to disrespect others. We have had couples express great enthusiasm, send scores of messages and then cancel 11th hour for ludicrous and unconvincing reasons when it was too late to cancel flights and on one occasion a hotel. Of course it can be awkward if someone changes their mind but given the anonymity it literally costs nothing to say, enjoyed the chat but sorry we have changed our minds..no sensible recipient of that message would complain. To the inconsiderate people who care nothing for the convenience or feelings of others..go away...to the genuine brave souls who persevere good luck and to the couples we have met when we were as close as dammit but then they or us said meh, maybe not, thank you for your courtesy and dignity. If anyone has a practical solution to ghosting that preserves safety and anonymity we would love to hear it and without challenging those who assert it doesn't bother them we wonder why you would pursue any activity where its last minute withdrawal has no meaning to you? If you really have that intellectual discipline more strength, we inevitably do feel it when others are discourteous, misleading and disrespectful. Finally, anyone not following up with Xena is probably off their meds anyway ; )
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RHP User
7 years ago
We wouldnt fly to meet anyone but sounds like you have had your fair share of disspointments. While that all happens occaisionally you meet someone genuine and its a refreshing change.
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FloozieandHim
6 years ago
We feel your pain. It can be annoying to try to make use of limited time and opportunity and to have a third party, that to be honest is getting as much or more out of the meeting, dick (or don’t dick!) around can be Tourette’s inducing... - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
6 years ago
I do try to make a point in replying to all messages and flirts, I have missed some though. If we receive a flirt from someone I'll read their profile. If they aren't the type for us going by what's on their profile I'll reply with a flirt from the no category. If we get a message I'll do the same but be more flexible with our opinion of whether we would click. I'll normally message back with an introduction of what we enjoy to see if they'd be interested or curious to be a part of this or want to know more. We haven't made a connection through RHP as a couple , our profile reads we're not looking and really we aren't. Sometimes someone pops up that really interests me and I'll respond in that favor. I believe people might get a little concerned about the BDSM side of our relationship, especially after they view our Private pictures or see our Fetlife profiles and get ghosted after a few messages. It can feel like time wasted but oh well :) KC72
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RHP User
6 years ago
Is what annoys me the most. You could be having a fantastic conversation on rhp or kik and then all of a sudden there’s no talk at all, not an ounce of anything. I can take rejection and disapproval well, I understand that I’m not everyone’s cuppa tea & im ok with that. I simply wish people would be more forthcoming in their feelings and or approval/ disapproval because I at least know where I stand. Now when there’s no response to an ongoing conversation I simply remove them from my chat list. I just wish that everyone could be more upfront in their intentions and desires but apparently even that is too much to ask! - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetnsensual
6 years ago
Lots of couples where it’s the guys idea and that’s why they dissapear,
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couple4couple2
6 years ago
As a couple we both log on and message at different times, and different frequencies... if I open a message and my husband has been messaging previously I will leave it for him to reply 9 times out of 10.... and vice versa. So regularly we would open and not reply. Or we want to discuss before replying. However would never arrange a meet up unless we intended on showing up. In the past; I was on here as a single female and I had to cancel plans twice with someone (giving a day or more notice) only to have him intentionally stand me up as some sort of revenge... sent me a message after asking how it felt... I was quite quick to thank him as his prank backfired and I ended up hooking up with the hot bartender! 😝 😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
6 years ago
Reading everyone's responses and seeing the same profiles on the forums again and again...it seems logical that we should all piss off the other time-wasting fuckers on here and just have a group orgy amongst ourselves. Who's in? We might need a travel agent. - Posted from rhpmobile
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