F55
Responsibility as a DOM
July 03 2013
Comments
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Err what were you doing Dom-ming him at his parents house in the frist place? Lol I don't think it had anything to do with you playing a role you weren't built for but more his inexperience and the subsequent location, given an experienced mature male you may have found the encounter more rewarding. I understand the comment about the scene being driven by thier pleasure and where do you go next to keep it going....I guess that comes with practice, and more practice, and then more practice with a willing accomplice after that. I know I like being on the receiving end but there's also something to be said for giving. Um if you have any suggestions please message me, I'm looking for inspiration. Oh and it's nice to see you back Miss Kay. Cheers Indy (aka On_Safari)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Holly Crap to the mum walking in....LOL oh MsKay would've loved to be a fly on the wall to see her face. I know I shouldn't have a giggle over the fact it was a awkard embarrassing situation- but I do... I am sorry to hear that happened. FOXY
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RHP User
11 years ago
were you just doing it online? or in person?? My first thoughts were an online scene, im guessing he didn't sneak an adult woman down the hall while mum and dad were watching tv...or did he???I agree it can be very surprising what one can do when trying something new..and yes you need to be careful with over zealous young ones. You meet again, repeat what you've done already to reinforce some respect and continuity, and comfort, then you introduce something new, see how it works for you both....trial by error sometimes. Good on you for stepping out of your comfort zone a little!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I would need a whole case of Dom ,Miss Kay,after that trauma.....
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RHP User
11 years ago
And I'd like some suggestions Ms Safari, I'm new to this game. I know FOXY, I was mortified and had huge feelings of guilt and checked on him consistently, He was fine, robust little fucker. I felt worse than he did! But now I know he's OK I can't stop laughing. Wish I could share the scenario. Cheers Ding, I wasn't being snuck down a hall. Online only, I promise. And yes, surprising and new. I'd still like to hear from Doms out there re "Is it a pressure or a pleasure? Or a bit of both?"
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RHP User
11 years ago
Pleasure and pressure but it gets easier with experience. You can even end up falling into a routine like anything else repetitive if your not careful. Glad you can laugh about it in retrospect life needs a little extra excitement sometimes. :) not to mention a little chuckle now and then.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Definitely a bit of both....but depending on how many you have it can get quite emotionally tiring too...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MissKay' And I'd like some suggestions Ms Safari, I'm new to this game. I know FOXY, I was mortified and had huge feelings of guilt and checked on him consistently, He was fine, robust little fucker. I felt worse than he did! But now I know he's OK I can't stop laughing. Wish I could share the scenario. Cheers Ding, I wasn't being snuck down a hall. Online only, I promise. And yes, surprising and new. I'd still like to hear from Doms out there re "Is it a pressure or a pleasure? Or a bit of both?" pm me for a chat if youd like
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inspirit
11 years ago
Is always in control. A good DOM will tell you this. Peoples perceptions on the topic differ greatly though. It also depends on the kind of sub you are. From my experience it is not pressure. It is pleasure.
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kinky_master
11 years ago
It is all part of the age old equation that with great power comes great responsibility. A real Master is not only there for his own pleasure and wellbeing - but he is also in charge of his subs pleasure and wellbeing. Because with the power she has given him over her she has also given him the responsibility that goes with that power. And it doesn't matter that the power transfer is only temporary and can be cancelled by the uttering of just one safe word - the responsibility of the "scene" stays with the Master until everyone has safely left - regardless of when he gave the power back - or when it was taken. A good Master knows all that and worries about the scene about anything that can go wrong and comes prepared - so that when it is playtime he can relax and enjoy himself too, knowing there is a contingency plan for any emergency.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nailed it Inspirit....all is illusion :)
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Yes been to fetlife found some interesting information on the topics, some BDSM Erotica might help with inspiration and google is your best friend there if you don't have access to someone who can elaborate further and give better insight. Um Miss Kay, I'm in the process of writing down some scenarios, give me a bit of time but I am faaaaaar and away from being anything but a willing student and an active participant/explorer!! Would love to know more from a Domme perspective, I think I do "sub" well.....given the opportunity. Although I love Florence and the Machine it's not all, "a kick in the teeth is good for some but a kiss with a fist is better than none wooo ooo!" It's making love, walks away happily singing.... You hit me once, I hit you backYou gave a kick, I gave a slapYou smashed a plate Over my headThen I set fire to our bedYou hit me once, I hit you backYou gave a kick, I gave a slapYou smashed a plate, Over my headThen I set fire to our bedMy black eye casts no shadow, Your red eye sees no blameYour slaps don't stick, Your kicks don't hitSo we remain the same, Blood sticks, sweat dripsBreak the lock if it don't fit, A kick in the teeth is good for someA kiss with a fist is better than noneWhooooooaaa a kiss with a fist is better than none Woot wooo!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' Yes been to fetlife found some interesting information on the topics, some BDSM Erotica might help with inspiration and google is your best friend there if you don't have access to someone who can elaborate further and give better insight. Um Miss Kay, I'm in the process of writing down some scenarios, give me a bit of time but I am faaaaaar and away from being anything but a willing student and an active participant/explorer!! Would love to know more from a Domme perspective, I think I do "sub" well.....given the opportunity. Although I love Florence and the Machine it's not all, "a kick in the teeth is good for some but a kiss with a fist is better than none wooo ooo!" It's making love, walks away happily singing.... You hit me once, I hit you backYou gave a kick, I gave a slapYou smashed a plate Over my headThen I set fire to our bedYou hit me once, I hit you backYou gave a kick, I gave a slapYou smashed a plate, Over my headThen I set fire to our bedMy black eye casts no shadow, Your red eye sees no blameYour slaps don't stick, Your kicks don't hitSo we remain the same, Blood sticks, sweat dripsBreak the lock if it don't fit, A kick in the teeth is good for someA kiss with a fist is better than noneWhooooooaaa a kiss with a fist is better than none Woot wooo!! we should chat...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya73' I would need a whole case of Dom ,Miss Kay,after that trauma..... Thanks Inspirit. Agree, as a sub for years I know I've always had the capacity to control by submission, never utilised it though. Have always been and felt safe so not necessary. But understand all play is led by me & that's what I adore about it. And KM, thanks for your insight. This is what I wanted to know. That 'responsibility' is what shocked me the most the other night. I could have 'had a crack at it' half hearted and not been responsible about it, but I took it VERY seriously. I guess I'm lucky to have always had incredibly thoughtful lovers who have ensured the scene has always benefitted both people, and I wanted to ensure the same in this situation. I guess I wouldn't have had the balls to try and play switch if I hadn't had incredibly good partners adept in 'power transfer' as you put it. I'd learnt from some of the finest. On Safari - Please share your writing when you are ready. Actually I'd love to have cocktails with you and Ding. That would be a great night in. Thought provoking conversation to say the least. And a giggle fest I'm sure. We can play Florence whilst we chuckle... Should we?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I love glassware On Safari But Ding - We are neighbours!!!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
hahah so we are......are you heading to Sydney tomorrow nt??
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RHP User
11 years ago
Got my squids this weekend. Went to message you but as a guest I'd used this week's quota up. Going down next week though...
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Quoting 'MissKay' I love glassware On Safari But Ding - We are neighbours!!!! Yes I'm stuck in no man's land in CQ with a couple of other incredibly sexy forumites!!! Geography is killing me not to mention alot of fun!!! Goldie girls late August (nods head emphatically) comin'? Erm and when finances permit.....been chatting to Meeks and a few about maybe setting up a future event for all the girls up this way to make a trip down to Sydney....lol cocktails would be purrfect I have sooooo much to learn!!
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wingman2014
11 years ago
So it's true?....it's far nobler to give than receive ? Lol
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On_Safari
11 years ago
I prefer 50/50 just depends on the quality of the beast under me as to how much effort one should go to. Lmao :-P whip ya later Wingman.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just be sure to restrain him before you whip him :p He gets a bit defiant ;p- Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
11 years ago
GAG him as well JayJay? Lol ;-) x. You could stay and help me you know....
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wingman2014
11 years ago
The images in my head at the moment !!
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chevtrek
11 years ago
To many variables to comment but I would say curiosity was the big player. An average of 1 in 200,000 women is a Dom why I have no idea but 1 in 5000 would like to dom another woman. Most women at some time like to be dominated in the bedroom and some like to put the shoe on the other foot. Will say this much if there was a nuclear war and we went back to primitive times most women would become submissive and that includes some men.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Huh???DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy is a series of three novels written by American author Anne Rice under the pseudonym of A. N. Roquelaure. The trilogy comprises The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty's Punishment and Beauty's Release, first published individually in 1983, 1984 and 1985 in the United States. They are erotic BDSM novels set in a medieval fantasy world, loosely based on the fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty. The novels describe explicit sexual adventures of the female protagonist Beauty and the male characters Alexi, Tristan and Laurent, featuring both maledom and femdom scenarios amid vivid imageries of bisexuality, homosexuality, ephebophilia and pony play.[1] The Claiming of Sleeping BeautyIn the first chapter of the story, Beauty is awakened from her hundred-year sleep by the Prince, not with a kiss, but through copulation, initiating her into a Satyricon-like world of sexual adventures. After stripping her naked he takes her to his kingdom, ruled by his mother Queen Eleanor, where Beauty is trained as a slave and a plaything. The rest of the naked slaves, dozens of them, in the Queen's castle are princes and princesses sent by their royal parents from the surrounding kingdoms as tributes. In this castle they spend several years learning to become obedient and submissive sexual property, accepting being spanked and forced to have sex with nobles and slaves of both sexes, being publicly displayed and humiliated, and crawling around on their hands and knees like animals until they return to their own lands "being enhanced in wisdom."In the castle Beauty meets another slave, Prince Alexi, with whom she copulates passionately. After that he tells her about the long adventurous journey he had in the castle. Alexi previously had been a stubborn prince who fought back all the attempts to break him, until the Queen sent him to the kitchen to have him tortured by crude kitchen servants. Alexi received such a savage and merciless punishment there that he began to lose his senses and, after some particularly humiliating training at the hands of a strong stable boy, Alexi became a totally surrendered slave, playing various sexual games at the Queen's commands.The moral of Alexi's story notwithstanding, Beauty willfully disobeys, and the book closes with her being sentenced to brutal slavery in the neighboring village along while her master weeps. Beauty's PunishmentThe second book starts as Beauty and another naked slave from the castle, Prince Tristan, are sold at auction in the village square. Beauty is purchased by the inn keeper Mistress Lockely while Tristan is bought by Nicholas, the Queen's chronicler. At Lockely's inn Beauty meets the Captain of the Guard, who forces her to pleasure him and then takes her to a drunken orgy with his soldiers. Tristan is bound and harnessed as a pony with a tail plugged in his rear, and made to pull Nicholas' cart while being whipped. When the cart arrives at an orchard, he is ordered to collect apples with his mouth, and trained to "satisfy" other human ponies in the stable. Afterward, Nicholas has Tristan paddled at the Public Turntable, which devastates the prince, and forcibly copulates with him in the bed.The next day, after having made Tristan march through the crowded streets, which included a short but intense meeting with the Captain of the Guard, Nicholas asks Tristan a series of questions as to what makes a strong, highborn prince obey with such a complete submission. Tristan answers, after some hesitation, that he loves anyone who punishes him no matter how crude or lowly they are and desires the loss of his self amid all the punishments, eventually "becoming" the punishments himself. Nicholas is moved by the answer and, after a frantic intercourse, confesses to him that he is in love with Tristan.Beauty witnesses the harsh punishment of a runaway slave, Prince Laurent, as he is bound to a wooden cross and the Captain whips him all over his muscular body, and later sees Tristan pulling a cart carrying Laurent in a penitential procession. Tristan begs Nicholas to be allowed to meet Beauty and they reunite in Nicholas' house. Beauty and Tristan copulate as Nicholas watches behind a one-way mirror. Suddenly, Arab soldiers raid the village and several naked slaves, including Beauty, Tristan and Laurent, are kidnapped. The book closes as they are sent across the sea to serve in the palace of the Sultan.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Beauty's ReleaseThe third book begins with the captured slaves' journey on the ship to the Sultan's realm. While being imprisoned in a cage, Laurent contemplates the recent punishments he received as a runaway on a wooden cross, recalling its pain, degradation and undeniable pleasure. After their arrival at the exotic land of the Sultan, the captured slaves are groomed by a group of young boys and examined by Lexius, the Sultan's steward. Beauty is taken to the harem and is mounted on the phallus of a bronze statue. She is then greeted by Innana, one of the Sultan's wives, with whom she copulates and is shocked to discover that Innana's clitoris has been surgically removed.Laurent and Tristan are taken to an all-male sadomasochistic orgy, being mounted on a cross and whipped. However, in private, Laurent overpowers Lexius and rapes him. Afterward Laurent and Tristan are taken to the Sultan, made to perform a mutual fellatio on each other in his presence, and then the Sultan anally copulates with Laurent. Laurent and Tristan retire from the Sultan's bedroom and when they are beginning to train Lexius as their secret slave, a rescue team led by the Captain of the Guard arrives and Laurent takes Lexius with him to their ship along with Beauty and Tristan. During the last leg of the voyage, the Captain tells Beauty that she is to be released from the servitude because of her parents' demands and, to her great dismay, sent back home to get married—she hysterically protests, but to no avail. Back at the castle, the Queen takes Lexius as her slave and sends him to the merciless kitchen servants who trained Prince Alexi earlier in the first book. She then sentences both Laurent and Tristan to the village stable for Laurent's rebelliousness and Tristan's failure to become a good slave. They are made to live and work as ponies, pulling all sorts of carts and drawing plows in the fields during the daytime, and having homosexual orgies with other human ponies at night. Tristan, as a pony, reunites with his former owner Nicholas on a temporary basis. However, Laurent's father unexpectedly dies and he is summoned back to his own kingdom against his wish, to become the new ruler. The book ends as Laurent marries Beauty, saying that they shall live happily ever after, or perhaps "a good deal happier" than anyone else could ever guess—hinting that they will continue the pleasure of dominance and submission with each other.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I read these books in my early 20's and have been fascinated with the Dom/sub role play ever since. I am a sub. I love it. I am dominant in my everyday life and I love to hand the control over to someone EXPERIENCED. You must feed your imagination with books and porn channels dealing with BDSM. Shop around in the local reject shop or $2.oo shops. You will be surprised at what you can find that can be play toys. If you are creative....shop in the pet section of these cheaper places...grab some dog collars, all matching make cuffs for wrists and ankles using the various size collars. One for your neck...most have D rings on them you can attach choker chains to with various fastening clips that have key rings on them. You don't need to not fear getting out of all the restraints but it is the illusion and the fact you want to be in various chained up positions...use your imagination. I can get myself ready and chained up for a visiting Dom. I found some cute heavy duty collars with nice big bling stones on them at the Reject shop. Creamy/White colour. they also had pink ones and red ones, in 3 sizes. DOMS MUST HAVE IMAGINATION.... I met one, I had a room set up for him, I was chained..and all he did was fuck me and play with my pussy for over an hour on the mattress I put on the floor.. I had a spanking chair in the room, I have a beam you can be tied to under my house in the room.....I had various toys and anal plugs...i had a bowl in the corner if he had wanted to make me drink my water from it..............NO HE DID NOTHING BUT FUCK ME ON THE MATTRESS.......NO IMAGINATION......We had a break...I told him is that all you are going to do fuck me on the mattress...I said it is getting very boring and if I just wanted to fuck on a bed I would have not gone to all this trouble and just fucked upstairs on a bed. So DOMS Out there sometimes I think I would do a better job!!!!! READ AND FEED WATCH AND FEED your IMAGINATION AND CREATIVITY.
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RHP User
11 years ago
ooops typo 2 many 2's sorry
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RHP User
11 years ago
The RESPONSIBILITIES and DUTIES of a DOM By M. Lester 1998 Being Dominant/submissive is a state of mind. It is not a sex act, it is not a game, and it is not a role. It is a state of being and is totally asexual (neither male nor female) First and foremost, a Dominant is always a Gentleman or Lady. There is no excuse for being impolite or rude to others. Save this for the submissive that needs and requires this of their Dominant. Second, a Dominant must always be in control. Drugs, even alcohol, are mind and body controlling agents. They affect relationships and most importantly can affect a scene, therefore taking away the control the Dominant MUST have. Third, a Dominant is always honest. To lie is to show you cannot be trusted and a submissive must be able to trust you to respect you. Every submissive knows that not every Dominant is super experienced and will respect you much more if you tell the truth Be honest with a submissive about your level of experience with others and the submissive. The submissive can even help you to gain experience and is really an enjoyable learning process. Tell the submissive up-front if You do not wish a monogamous relationship. Most submissives understand and even expect this in a Dominant. You may not get "that" submissive but you will not lose her/his respect. Fourth, a Dominant accepts responsibility for all his/her actions. Everyone makes mistakes. Do what is needed to make amends, and correct it. Accept and admit the fact that you messed up. To seek an excuse for something going wrong or hurting someone will cause you to lose respect. Fifth, a Dominant expects but does not demand respect. No Dominant demands strangers to call him/her Master/Mistress. Respect is earned over time. Demanding Master/Mistress on your name means nothing and is a word that when not earned is meaningless and makes you to others appear to be a petty childish fool. Those that know you and respect you will call you Master or Mistress when you earn it, not before. Remember, to other Dominants you are not Their Master/Mistress you are their equal do not DEMAND them too ever call You that. Sixth, a Dominant knows and understands the differences between needs, desires and wants. The submissive may want a 24/7 relationship with an understanding Dominant. The submissive may desire a short relationship with a crude rude person. The submissive may need a stable sharing marriage with children. Duties of a DOM It is the duty of a Dominant to control his/her emotions. To punish a submissive in anger or to lash out to anyone is abusive. It is the duty of a Dominant to remember that submission is a gift. To misuse this gift is abusive. When the submissive is not free to take back the gift it is no longer a gift. It is the duty of a Dominant to watch over and protect all submissives. This does not mean to protect them from finding some other Dominant and to keep them for oneself. It is the duty of a Dominant to take only a submissive that will match him/her. A submissive that is not into whips should not belong to a Dominant that loves to whip submissives. It is the Duty of a Dominant to take only the amount of submissives the DOM can properly handle, control, love, comfort and care for. Do not keep a submissive hanging, giving false hopes. Free and release the submissive so the submissive can get along with finding the right Dominant. It is the duty of a Dominant to watch and monitor the scene carefully and to ensure the submissive is not being harmed either physically or emotionally. At any time the slightest thing can go wrong and the scene is ruined for the submissive and pleasure becomes actual pain. **It is the duty of a Dominant after a scene to ensure the submissive is emotionally stable. During a scene the submissive is filled with hormones. Afterwards the body reduces them and may cause severe depression to the extent of being suicidal. The submissive must be made to understand the depression and or emotional release is normal and expected. Normal emotions will return in hours to a day. Anything longer is a sign of emotional instability in the submissive and must be corrected before doing another scene. (A Dominant can also experience this depression after a high from the scene.) Each reacts differently some stay high for weeks and when they come down seek the scene again to regain the high. This also can lead to problems such as longer, more intense and dangerous scenes, with unknown Dominants.** It is the duty of a Dominant to know and understand what the needs, desires and wants of a submissive are. Failure to do so may harm the submissive emotionally and mentally. Responsibilities of a DOM It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure an unowned submissive is guided to a Dominant that is suited to the submissive's wants, needs and desires. It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure the submissive knows what being abusive is. To insure this is to insure the submissive knows when to call it quits. It is the responsibility of a Dominant to ensure the submissive knows what the submissive's rights are. It is the responsibility of a Dominant to teach the submissive information about the Lifestyle. The best method is to teach the submissive how to acquire this information and where he/she can get it. An ignorant submissive can be an embarrassment to a Dominant. It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure the submissive grows and develops under the Dominant's ownership, in both the lifestyle and the public life (i.e., job and family). Being submissive only means being a "doormat" when the submissive has made it clear that is what the submissive is looking for. Dishonourable Acts For a Dominant to allow a submissive to be actually harmed in ANY way is Dishonourable. For a Dominant to allow a submissive's rights to be violated is dishonourable. For a Dominant to play with and discard a submissive just for amusement is dishonourable (exception is a submissive that has declared this is the treatment they need). Unless the submissive has declared them selves to be unowned, another Dominant's interference in a relationship is dishonourable. To chase after or scene with Another's submissive without the other Dominant's permission and full knowledge is dishonourable. No Dominant can be expected to live up to the above 100% of the time, others will respect him/her for trying and the harder she/he tries the more respect all will have for the Dominant and his/hers
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RHP User
11 years ago
The last sentence really pissed me off I must say. I get we can't all be perfect but it suggested to just 'try your best' with the above. The above was pretty concise...
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