F50
SHOULD I OR ??
October 02 2015
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
"The lifestyle" is what you want it to be and what you want out of it, and for however long you are enjoying it. Its not a life time commitment that you cant move away from whenever you chose to. And its not something that you can never return to if you desire it. I have had a 10 yr break between swinging and playing bi. I never missed it at all whenI was commited to a long term partner. It wasnt until being single again, and then having a casual 6 month relationship, then I started thinking about playing with couples and swinging again. I dont doubt that if I happen to meet that "Mr Wonderful" in the future, I will be quite content in commiting to a monogomous, satisfying relationship again. Life is full of changes and different fazes that we go through. Dont regret any of your experiences as the make you who you are today.
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Smilingwithfun
9 years ago
How many times in one's life does that special person cross our paths? The question is Can you spend the rest of your life saying "What if".
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QLDtwo4fun
9 years ago
However, make sure that person is also aware of your past, maybe not in graphic detail, but enough to ensure they accept you knowing all about you. Maybe, with time their position may change.
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Hottie1
9 years ago
Is he 'the one' if he essentially asks/expects/wants you to change who you are and what you enjoy? The 'one' for me is the person who accepts my past and respects who I am, the whole me and will support me in being the 'best' me I can be, not his version of the 'me' he wants! In saying that I don't know your relationship, and I wish you all the best. Kudos to both of you for your openness and honesty in this initial stage. Could I give 'up' the lifestyle, I don't think so, but I'm in a different place to you and I'm obviously commenting from that place! All the best in your journey, Mary xx
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
I've done the compromise thing. Realise it wasnt for me. Now, for me, that someone special is someone that accepts both of me, i accept all of them and we are the people that can enhance each others lives to make them special. Good luck for whatever you decide. Annie
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'ag4mg92' Is he 'the one' if he essentially asks/expects/wants you to change who you are and what you enjoy? The 'one' for me is the person who accepts my past and respects who I am, the whole me and will support me in being the 'best' me I can be, not his version of the 'me' he wants! In saying that I don't know your relationship, and I wish you all the best. Kudos to both of you for your openness and honesty in this initial stage. Could I give 'up' the lifestyle, I don't think so, but I'm in a different place to you and I'm obviously commenting from that place! All the best in your journey, Mary xx Yes! Please be careful of committing to an exclusive love relationship with someone who doesn't love you exactly as you are. I have done this in the past and found myself questioning their love for me after the high wore off, wanting to do things that were now deemed "bad", which then made me feel bad about myself. Eventually bailing from the relationship after a few years with a damaged self-worth. I would say from experience, don't go there, but I know in the moment that the love drug is so tantalizing you might make a choice that goes against your instincts in order to get that hit.
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
will no doubt be giving you food for thought. The initial feelings of meeting that new someone will in time settle down, but your normal desires for your lust in life will always remain. To someone who may not be initiated to your current lifestyle, I can understand his reluctance about belonging to the site, as he sees this will always be some form of competition he will have to compete against. As for your bisexual side, personally I would consider that bit of a bonus, but from your very brief commentary, he seems a bit too much on the straight and narrow - would that really suit you ? As has been noted, if anyone asks you to change too much of your character to suit themselves, chances are it is a sign that things will not last, as there will always be other things that they want changed over time. Then you are no longer 'you'. I would be very wary - if you are indeed quite interested at this point in time, certainly try it out, as you will learn. But be prepared to call time out later on if you find that perhaps it isn't all that it appears to be now. Tall
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have mixed feelings, strongly feel if they're 'the one' don't let them go, and spend the rest of your life regretting it. Concern would be he should love you for who you are, like in the Bridget Jones Diary movie where Colin Firth's character says to Bridget after she runs through what a train wreck she is (I liken myself to her) 'No, I like you just the way you are'. God, that's what I want, someone who will forgive imperfections, we all make mistakes along the way but I want my guy to look at me across a crowded room and want to get into my pants, while I'm thinking the same thing, to have each other's back, but at the same time, freely let that person enjoy sexual pleasure in whatever form it comes or evolves along the way, together or apart, so that to me is the only way I would enter into a relationship. They's have to love me 'just the way I am'. How many boxes does this guy tick, and how well does he tick yours haha
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RHP User
9 years ago
sorry typo I meant 'they'd', and i need coffee
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RHP User
9 years ago
dont miss an opportunity, if it doesn't work - reopen your RHP. To spend time wondering 'what if' is a waste of time, we can enjoy different things at different stages in our lives - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
What's the trade off? He's asking you to give up things that are part of you- is that right?? I'd be asking myself a few soul searching questions....would I loose my self worth, confidence, beliefs, freedom and myself??? If You gave up being BI and RHP.. Would you be 100% happy?? I believe and my own thoughts would be.. if you did OP give up over time the trade off would be.., you will struggle and constantly try to change yourself to meet this relationship. I reckon over time your confidence will slowly erode along with your self-esteem, mind body and soul. Would this be empowering to you?? Make you 100% happy?? At the end of the day your happiness comes first. Good luck in making the right choice for you. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Love that corset you are wearing.Where did you buy it, online or a shop?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Being Bi is a part of who you are. I think you need to do some soul searching to work out if you are ready. Good luck it isn't easy xo
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Nice profile piccy you have up...... Got a real funny feeling that we arent looking at the real you......... Wanna explain???
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RHP User
9 years ago
OP, your profile is new but I don't know if you are too or posting under a pseudonym. Anyhow, I think the question is: Will giving up things you love leave an empty space he can fill? If not, this scenario is a recipe for resentment developing over time. I've said before that I could stop engaging in certain sexual things I really like in return for intimacy I like more, but I couldn't be with someone if I was unfulfilled in some way.
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RHP User
9 years ago
To find that someone special is awesome news. It does make the heart beat faster and those rose coloured glasses sure do get a work out at this time. However, as sweet and as much as I am happy to read that another person has found someone special, I do have to ask that the things you are considering giving up...are what you are about to embark on worth it? Is this lifestyle a part of you or was it just something that developed over time as a way to enjoy yourself. If it is indeed a part of you, well it will be hard to conform...I say conform because it will feel a chore after a while no matter the intentions. But if this lifestyle was just a way of having fun, then I guess you have to ask yourself are you ready to take the next step. Life throws a lot of hurdles, but at the end of the day knowing who you are deep down (core beliefs..the things that make you tick)...and standing on those things make making these decisions much easier. Just like the Lion King...remember who you are...remember....remember....remember
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sometimes people do make a new profile for their own personal reasons to avoid someone, or post a question they dont want to post with their real profile or to flush someone out. Not a crime unless its a deliberate way to catfish vulnerable people 😝
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
How I see it, is someone who pretends/creates another profile to trick another/others into believing that they are that person...Always a motive. So are you saying Willow, that is OK to have a 2nd profile to avoid someone, or post a question they dont want to post with their real profile or to flush someone out?? Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Want to write a forum on that? Could be meaty and might keep this one one topic.
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RHP User
9 years ago
,,
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RHP User
9 years ago
I know of someone who made a profile to catch her partner out. She was on here for less than 24 hrs before he messaged her. She played along until he gave his number and tried to tee up a meet. Flushed him out.Motive?yes of course.Did it effect my time on here? Nup. Or this OP might have wanted to ask this question but the man she is involved with may also be on here. She doesnt want him to know of her fears so she made a profile to post this. Both scenarios dont make my time on here any better or worse.So I really dont GAF. But a single man making a couples profile is a whole different story if he contacts me personally to lead me on for his own sexual gratification being deceptive. Maybe you could make a new topic instead of taking over this one.
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RHP User
9 years ago
The fox can if shes bothered by it
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RHP User
9 years ago
If you have to be someone your not how long before someone special becomes someone resented ? Tricky situation but your young enough to recover, just don't say anything stupid like "I do" 😃 Good luck.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Ms Fire.will either bring you happiness or a little pain..can we have it all,maybe but you know yourself,how much of you ,your friendships are you prepared to give up?How important is the "lifestyle" to you compared to one relationship that may provide you with love and intimacy and all the missing bits..only you can answer that,hugs xxFreya .
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RHP User
9 years ago
Aren't we all jumping to conclusions here about the OP..she doesn't seem familiar to me all you Miss Marples...and bullying a new poster...not nice ..Freya
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
Had same thoughts, that it was not ok to jump on the OP.. That's why I asked and questioned. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
you can't see a rainbow without first seeing a little rain right?? Good luck and I hope your future is rewarding; whatever that that maybe :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
thanks to all, I appreciate the response and time. I apologise for not participating more in the conversations.... Yep there is motive for everything and mine was rather innocent and only involved mysel and my situation. Nothing hurtful or dramatic, I'm def not trying to deceive or trick anybody. Experiences of others can be exremely helpful, I guess at the end of the day it's just going to time, thought and conversation. Oh and yep the corset was from online,, I think!! I confess a friends generous nature was involved in that pic. Thanks again. 😁😁😁
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Just saying one should not use photos that are not theirs. Not saying she is not genuine and the question/topic is an interesting one.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Be yourself. I think if you find you cannot be within any relationship, it's important to realise you are the most important in your life, and I hope you choose you over your partner. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
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RHP User
9 years ago
You're actually friends with the model in your pic? Tell her she is stunning. ;-)
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