M46
Safe sex in three/foursome
October 29 2013
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Have only ever had MMF threesome which was pretty straight forward as far as safety went so will be watching this one
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RHP User
11 years ago
For us, it's a fairly straightforward condom swap. I (Mr Tryst) have never been bothered by taking condoms on and off. It's really not too big of an effort or imposition. Besides, with an extra hand (or four!) in the mix, it's not like the whole party has to stop and wait! Mr Tryst x
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RHP User
11 years ago
Every time you want to put your dick in a new hole you need to put a new condom on. Whether you are just with one person or two or four or more. And don't forget your fingers and hands. Nobody usually wears surgical gloves but frequent showering and hand washing for everyone is a good idea. As the doomsayers will tell you, there is no such thing as totally safe sex. And they are right, so STI checks every 3-6 mths is a good idea when you are into the group scene. Most things are easy to treat and it's the only way to say disease free. :)
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rootratandlady
11 years ago
We do the condom swap when in a threesome with another woman. But I am always a little concern when it comes to girl on girl, like sharing a double ended dildo, as said in other threads...sex is messy, there is sharing of body fluids.... even though transmission risks are supposably very low, it still bothers me. Is there a way to keep that 'safe'?
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erotictouch4u
11 years ago
Both pregnancy safe AND sti safe is best. As others have said, every change means a new start, so new protection. Hey, have them put the new one on after you take the old one off...more fun. ET xox
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RHP User
11 years ago
If you have a little inelegance then trust is all you need. No reasonable person with an STI will play. No reasonable swinger will not go without a STI test at least twice a year. So ask, "When was your last test?", ask "Are you free of STI's?" then use your inelegance to determine if you can trust their answers.For in reality condoms do not mean safe sex. If you listen to the people that say condoms are a must, that they have never had an STI test because they believe they are safe because they always used condoms. Don't go near them. They are the most dangerous. Safe sex is about trust, not about condoms because condoms only reduce risk. THEY DO NOT prevent the spread of STI's. Only fools think condoms are safe.The only way to be safe is to get regular testing. Saying you always use condoms is not safe at all.
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RHP User
11 years ago
When enjoying a 3some or 4some, we've never found it to be an issue, as it's a fairly straightforward part of the play, condom swap. Be up front with your play friends at the start regarding safe sex, as you'll find that once in the moment, it just seems to flow. No Glove...No Love!
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chevtrek
11 years ago
You should be that horny it dont bother you.At some partys I have used up to 14 condoms.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Every time you want to put your dick in a new hole you need to put a new condom on. Whether you are just with one person or two or four or more. And don't forget your fingers and hands. Nobody usually wears surgical gloves but frequent showering and hand washing for everyone is a good idea. Condom use, one per person makes sense.... obviously ....... but its the hands element thats the real concern. DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Always swap condoms between partners, every time. It should really only take a few seconds if you have them handy, and I agree with Mr Tryst that it shouldn't be a big effort. And yes, DG, hands seem to be forgotten. A friend caught chlamydia from from a guy's hands going from one woman to the next at a party. As I was there, I know she was very vigilent about using a new condom every time, so that was the only explanation. I have no problem with the same man going from pussy to anal with me without swapping condoms, but never the other way around. And to the second guy there that thought he could have bum sex without a condom when I was distracted by my other lover: I will never be that distracted. Shame on you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Things I have learned (sometimes the hard way :P ) Ask prospective couples/partners what they do to keep themselves sexually safe. Have regular STI checks. Make sure there is alt least 30minutes between you brushing your teeth and performing oral sex. Brushing your teeth can cause bleeding or irritation of the gums so it's easier to be infected. The mouth heals very quickly though... So min of 30 minutes. New condom for each hole and for each new person When in a larger group with a few women... Don't allow yourself to be fingered as people are poking their fingers in all sorts of holes. Also men and women touching cocks and precum and cum then not thinking twice about touching someone else. After each group play do have a shower or at least wash your hands. Women also start tasting like rubber I think?? So it's nice to smell nice too. Watch the men put a new condom on. Sometimes a guy thinks having a condom on is enough, without realizing that he is spreading girl juices around on the condom. Be vigilant for those fuckwits that like to take the condom off when you are not watching. Be considerate and mindful of the people you are playing with DG.... It's a calculated risk at the end of the day. Yes going to large orgies puts you in a higher risk category, however you can minimize the risk as I have said above and have regular STI checks. Obviously, if you see any changes or display and symptoms you go to the Doc ASAP.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You know what, a lot of STI's are easily treatable. Half of Sydney probably has chlamydia and don't even know it. A shot of antibiotics and you are all good again. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I and my partner MF couple are new to the scene and am strict on safe sex and i wondered how will i even perform safe sex properly when my hubby wants me to go down on another female, dont think you can ever be 100% safe but i did just read that someone is holding a party and for the people who can show a current STD check could choose to either wear or not wear a condom and for the people who dont have a current check they will have a arm band on so everyone knows they have not been checked. I have not been with another couple yet as im hot and cold and mainly due to safe sex part. I want my partner to swap condoms all the time, he wants to go bonkers from one hole to the other persons hole and there is no way im having him use the same condom. I didnt even think about fingers so now i will be.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Use condoms on your strapons and toys!
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RHP User
11 years ago
What the? Armbands. Fuck me now I have heard everything. Don't you fall for that. Some diseases like HIV can take three to six mths to show up in a test. And who is to say the person didn't contract an STI the minute after they took the test?? Don't ever behave in a risky way because someone told you they have had a test and they are all clean. Unless they didn't have sex since the test.... The test is worthless as proof of being disease free. There are couples who play without a condom based on those assumptions. They are a huge risk factor in my mind, and are also extremely naive as far as I am concerned.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Assume everybody lies.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67'If you have a little inelegance then trust is all you need. No reasonable person with an STI will play. The first two lines reminded me why I stopped reading your posts.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Often people don't even know they have an STI. And can I say all the people who sneer at swingers and group sex are absolutely risky themselves! Some of those people feel they don't need STI checks... they are the dicks spreading it around!! If you are sexually active but not in an exclusive relationship you still should have STI checks. At least annually I reckon. It's your own health after all.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'chevtrek'At some partys I have used up to 14 condoms. Did you take them home as souvenirs or something?
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
According to some.... Having trust and being too horny to care...... Is enough?!!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Condom swapping is necessary. And I don't see it interfering with the sex in a group context. Its common sense and courtesy for the other person.Also I suggest keeping a tight group of people you interact with - and that you can trust when participating in group sex.As Meeka said, a lot of people never get tested. Due to embarrassment, disillusionment or immaturity. Try to only invite people in your group sessions that you know are responsible and trust worthy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
As in life it's self never trust or I've believe what is being told when anyone wants something from another person the old car salesman tech comes out (bull shit) Alwsy play safe n never get over caught in the mo that u say to yourself o fuk it it's ok !
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RHP User
11 years ago
Who here would trust a condom. Seams many see it as the perfect shield. They live under a delusion. There is plenty of information on the amount of protection a condom will give. At best a condom will protect you 80% of the time. That is four in five. Yes it does reduce you risk, but really it is only a slight reduction.One here said they may use 12 condoms in a night (not a big number) but with that comes two and half failures to protect. I do not make this up it is readily available information to anyone that cares to look it up.Who here would have sex with a HIV positive person even with a condom on? Not many I am guessing. Strange, because if a person is using a condom that person is under no obligation legally to divulge any STI they have. It is illegal to knowingly spread any type of pathogen. Wearing a condom negates the need to inform. If you trust someone that says they always use condoms, you are a fool. If you trust condoms you are a fool.As i have said before. Intelligence and trust are you best allies. There is no perfect solution. But DO NOT FUCK random strangers. If you do I am not interested at all, no matter how strict you are about condoms. The shear fact that to put a condom on requires the hands is enough to not trust them. A little pre-cum on the hands, then put on a condom, well we know what can happen next.Please people stop relying on condoms to protect you. They do not protect you!!!!.There is only one way to stop STIs and that is REGULAR TESTING. Always ask if someone has been tested recently. Use your judgment to deduce if they are telling the truth. I have on many occasions said no because the person/s I am interested do not provide a satisfactory answer. Ask them where? Ask them when? Ask them why? if you still are not sure they are telling the truth. Ask them what the procedure was? It is easy to pick a lie. Any good swinger will tell the truth, it is in their own interest. Randoms are not worth the risk (Unless you trust your instinct).The people I have sex with are trusted. I know they would not dare spread anything (not even the common cold)Do not trust the people here that stand behind the shield of latex. If you would not fuck someone that does not use a condom then think about the fact that if you had sex with 5 or more people even with protection, one failure at least will have pasted on something to you, (IF NOT MORE) More the five fucks is at least on fuck without a condom.There is only one way to stop the spread of STIs and that is to get regular testing. That is to demand that your partners be tested. That is to make it know over and over. TESTING is the only way. I will not fall back on the ridicule from those that say I am unsafe. I know I am clean, I no because I have been tested, recently. I know more than 80% of the time who is full of lies and who is not. My odds are so much less at getting a STI than those that simply relies on condoms.I have played this game for many years now and seldom use them. I have never had anything at all. Nor would I fuck anyone that I did not trust, ever.Only fools use condoms. They do not protect at all.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I thought you went to swingers clubs? Aren't you fucking or at least having sexual contact with strangers there? For a slut you are very exclusive aren't you? Will the real Blindman stand up. :P Mind you it's easier for a woman to get an STI. It sucks. I have had two STI's. The first one because I was silly and naive and the second through bad luck. My slut boyfriend who is bi and has probably sucked more dicks than you have had hot dinners has never had an STI. He doesn't use condoms for oral either. He didn't catch it off me either... He is always showering and washing and after a huge weekend I believe he uses Rawleighs Man and beast cream for all the chapped areas. Lol.
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andyrabbit
11 years ago
look at the photo's posted and sent and see how many people play in 3's , 4's and groups without any condoms on..tells alot
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Wellllllll Blindman just put a social noose around his neck and kicked the chair out.lol I get your point..... but its not that well made.Trust... is only as strong as a persons ignorance and delusion.DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
I just saw Blindman's last comment. Only fools use condoms? Blindman are you saying you don't use condoms? Even when you say they protect you 80% of the time. That makes no sense really. It's about risk minimization and testing.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have read that incorrectly haven't I?
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madotara69
11 years ago
I think so.From what Blindman has said, I think what he is saying is that he has been playing this game for enough time to learn and find people that truly understand safe sex practice. To enter the room knowing 100% that you are clear and clean of any STI's. And to protect the commitment his group share to keep that true, They cannot trust that someone just wearing a condom with no other understanding of safe sex can be trusted to be 100% safe and simply a free ticket to get a free fuck.I can believe that a close group of regular swingers could take care for each other, if that being the case.I think Blindman is saying that people who have STI's will use condoms as a disguise, they do fail at times and those are the sort of times they fail mostly.If Blindmans post shocks the shit out of everyone as to how important complacency can be just as dangerous. Then it is sure to be a good thing to shock the shit out of everyone.Mado
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ridiculous. He is lucky that he obviously has a strong immune system. It only takes one weak link in the chain, wonder if he asks all his lovers when they had their last test, and does he ask their lovers, and the lovers lovers, etc etc. You know I wish people would take ownership of their decisions. He has decided that it's worth the risk. As a bi guy... Just doesn't bare thinking about really. Good luck to him.
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RHP User
11 years ago
No one gets tested often enough for me to ever contemplate that this method is safe. And I am confused, not that long ago I read a comment of Blindman's about how he loves to go to swingers clubs.... Where every one is a stranger. I have seen him comment that he is a slut as well. I know some sluts and they can have sexual contact with hundreds of people in one year, not saying Blindman does as I don't know anything about him. So I am not so sure where you got this committed group idea Mado, but again I don't often read most of the posts so you probably have a better idea than I do.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have never asked for my a hard copy of my results before, do they even give them to you?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I have never asked for my a hard copy of my results before, do they even give them to you? Yep... you doctor must give you a copy if you ask for them, just remember to ask what all the funny results mean as some of the details can be a little confusing... and as you say, they are only good until the time you next expose yourself to a risky situation... could be 5 mins after the test or it could be 5 years.
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madotara69
11 years ago
You really need to slow down and read the entire posts, before taking such a strong stance. Yes Blindman has emphasised that asking playmates have been tested.And it is clear that you have only speed read my post.Personally I would not choose to play in a group of people in a sex club, relying that condoms are going to keep Me and Tara safe. There is way to much chance that idiots just count on condoms, with no care for safe sex.But hey that is only my opinion, others can take the chance of contracting STI now and then if they like.Russian roulette definitely. We are clean because of that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
He makes the comment that he doesn't use condoms. For me.. I don't care that he has been tested I wouldn't go near a guy that told me that. And my comments were not directed at you at all. But bully for you Mado. So you fuck one guy at a time. What's the difference really? Or do you insist on a test and then ask them to abstain from sex until they have sex with you and Tara?. The STI I got was from an exclusive relationship. Well exclusive on my side. You know most STI's are like getting a cold. There is no shame to it. I believe half the single people having one night stands every weekend quite often forgo the condom and are probably never tested. To me they are More unsafe. May ask the last time you were tested?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I take it you and Tara don't use condoms either in your threesomes? Is that what if required means? Did you every think that a man that would readily accept a couple with out condoms is a high risk root? How many other couples does he do without a condom. How many guys are out there getting blown off at the glory holes and all the straight men in the the gay clubs.... People lie about their sex life all the time.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I just disagree with it. You can never be 100% sure that you are STI free as some STI can take months to show up in your test. The only way is to be celibate or be in an exclusive relationship. Therefore it's safest to assume everyone has an STI and make them wear a condom because it reduces your risk, doesn't eliminate it but it reduces it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
But I still stand by what I have said. Its about risk management. For some people they insist on me using condoms, I do, for other people I will always use condoms whether they want them or not. For my close and private trusted fuck buddies (for want of a better term) I do not use condoms.Personally I hate the bloody things. I seldom have an orgasm while wearing one. I love the wet sloppy skin to skin contact that makes sex so wonderful, the natural way as nature intended.Nor do I wish to treat intimate partners like potencial biological weapons factories. I consider people clean until I judge otherwise. That is just me and I am a great believer in the fact that the vast majority of people would never knowingly pass on an infection. A few here in the forums present a very low view of the people they play with. I have found that regular swingers are above average intelligence, and have a responsible attitude towards sex. I do not play with inexperience or the once every few months player. They are not swingers in my view and are not interested in the life style and its responsibilities. I am a good judge of character, and rely on my instincts.I am clean, as in personal hygiene. I always shower before and after sex (Always) with soap, nothing else (soap is the b est). I expect my partners do the same, if they did not then I would not be interested in them.I have taken the time to educate my self on STI's. How they are transmitted, what the symptoms are, what the risks are, their prevalence in the population. If I ever was tested positive I would stop all sex, and inform ALL my partners since my last test. I would never hide behind a condom and pretend it was safe. To me the risk reduction of condoms, especially for active swingers is marginal at best. One in five condoms fail to protect you against the spread of a STI. I am not talking breakage, I am talking about improper use and I seldom see them used properly. Quality is also an issue. At some places where condoms are supplied they are cheap crap. Usually too small in both width and length, and too thin.I find it strange that women who for their own protection still expect the man to supply them. Do you ever check the brand. Do you ever test the condom. You should be able to put a clenched fist in it them, and then spread you fingers wide A good condom should resist tearing from finger nails. The base should be sturdy and should maintain a tight seal at all times. Make sure when you have put them on that there is plenty of space for semen, you don't want it being squeezed because the condom is to small or put on incorrectly. Oh and make sure you roll it ALL the way down. And guys keep an eye on it they do tend to work their way up the shaft. If it does not cover the entire length of the penis why bother.Many men buy the wrong size, either two big or two small. For those that use condoms, do your self a favor. Always supply your own. Have a variety of sizes, do not use colored, novelty or flavored condoms. And for gods sake people please check the use by date. Condoms only have a shelf life of about a year. How many guys have had them sitting in their hot car for a couple of years. They are latex they do not last. Please store them in a cool dark place, not your back pocket.Proper condom use is the responsibility of both people. If you wish to protect your self pay attention. Proper use can turn that 1 in five failure to one in a dozen or more.Now the one fact that I stick by: The lowest rates of STI in active people come from those that get regular testing (twice or more a year, depending on how active you are). Irrespective of whether they use condoms or not. Always ask, "When, where, and how." they were tested. Many people have never been tested and have no clue as to the procedure. You can quickly spot a lie when you ask "When, where, and how." Asking them if they use condoms or not is pointless. THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE SAFE. Have you been tested.I take my sexual health very seriously and do not leave it up to the very common failures of condoms. When I fuck someone (condom or not) in my mind I must confident that I would be happy to fuck them without one. For me the worst possible thing would be to test positive for an STI. For me that mean "No more sex!" ( till I am totally sure I am clean again. ) So believe me I do not want that to ever happen, but I do balance the risk, as I do when I drive, work and play.Oh and one last thing that just totally perplexes me about women's attitudes to protection. Most will demand a condom for all types of penetrative sex except oral sex. What the hell is up with that? The face is a major site for transmission. Not so much the mouth, but the eyes, nose, and to a limited extent the ears. In reality don't rub your eyes during sex, but then dont have sex if you are so in fear of catching something. So I hope that clarifies my stance on condoms. (If required!) That does not mean, (Do I have to.) It means I will make the assessment whether I will or will not use them. It means that if someone asks that I use them I will never say no, or may pass up sex. It mean that even if asked to bare back and I do not have full trust in that person I will put a good quality fresh one on properly and keep an eye on it, and it means that I am educated, understand the risks, am open and honest about how and when I use them. For me if they have ALWAYS on their profile , I am not interested. (It does not say Always, except when the break, or do not fit, are too old, or cheap or only for the pussy, or I like to have cum all over me.)Get with it people. You are all swingers you should all know this shit.I am proud that I have If Required on my profile. At least I am honest, way to easy to select "Always" what fool would rely on that for safety. Responsible and safe sex has little to do with condoms. Inelegance and trust are what is important to me.Rant done for now. But I will post the same stuff every time this subject comes up. If it puts your nose out of joint then take a good hard look at your attitude to safe sex for in my view you are not practicing it.Way to late to proof read so hope it comes out ok. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I have never asked for my a hard copy of my results before, do they even give them to you? My last results spanned four pages, and that's with everything coming back negative.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I suppose I should ask for my results. But at the end of the day it only proves that I was STI free only on the day I took the test. :)
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HSV2couple
11 years ago
We have been totally honest about our affliction and we have met some great people. We can tell you there ARE people on here that are NOT so honest. We play safely and within boundaries have regular tests and require the same in return. We have now found friends who have the same affliction who test regularly and we only play within ourselves. True honesty on here is hard to find. Play safe xo
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RHP User
11 years ago
Some good points. And thanks for the clarification ... Your last comment about only fools wear condoms made me think that you never ever wear condoms at all!! Glad to hear that isn't the case. I agree that if everyone had tests then the cases would slowly diminish in the community. Do doctors ever encourage people to have tests? Do they ask about people's sexual health? I have never had to think about it because up until now, condoms were also a contraceptive for me since joining RHP and experimenting with the group scene. Although do you know, even that won't put some guys off.... They still want to forgo the condom!! You probably also have a strong immune system and can fight a lot of the infections too. Because Of a condition I have I unfortunately am more prone to infections... Like the common cold. Which by the way is harder to get rid of than STIs. Lucky you! Stay safe. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Your question about HIV. Well I know it isn't necessarily a death sentence these days but it scares the shit out of me. I think condoms are the recommended way of not spreading HIV right? I also read recently that there are a suspected 4000 people in NSW who are HIV positive but don't even know it... But who knows how true that is. If I was in love with someone with HIV... Well I suppose yes I would still be with them in a sexual way but I would use all the protection that I could. I think.... Let's hope it's a choice I never have to make.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Every time you swap partner (Or hole) a new condom is needed. It's pretty easy to make it part of the show, so no issues there. The tricky bit is making sure there are enough condoms for the whole session :)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think Blind Man is just making all this up, No one in their right Mind would think like he says he does! IF not, Then his name says it all :-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
wow meekai have been through and read all of the posts and you are on the attack every time..quite sad really that blindman was only stating an opinion and you have pounced every time..back off lady you rant to much!!!!i have read your posts on other topics to wont read anything of yours again..:( Quoting 'Meeka100' Your question about HIV. Well I know it isn't necessarily a death sentence these days but it scares the shit out of me. I think condoms are the recommended way of not spreading HIV right? I also read recently that there are a suspected 4000 people in NSW who are HIV positive but don't even know it... But who knows how true that is. If I was in love with someone with HIV... Well I suppose yes I would still be with them in a sexual way but I would use all the protection that I could. I think.... Let's hope it's a choice I never have to make.
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madotara69
11 years ago
I do not need to wear condoms with Tara during sex, the if required is for in the case a playmate might insist on me wearing a condom.We don't have sex with other people unless we are together. We are very selective with meeting others and we have only had sex with one guy from RHP.If a playmate (another man) does not mind if I am not wearing a condom with my wife, then why would I need to.So yes if it is required, I will wear a condom.If the guy can show to us that he is clear of STI, then we may allow him to not use a condom, though that is for the that moment, and something we would all be satisfied if so. I just reckon that you guy's having random sex in groups, should all be as safe as possible, insist on playmates entering the group with a clear test. Much safer than relying on condoms alone.Well that is what I thought Blindmans post was about.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think Blindman is saying you don't have to wear condoms if people get tested once or twice a year. Is that right Blindman?? Most STI's are no issue when treated, but it's HIV that scares me. At swingers clubs and sex parties there are hundreds of people there. There are no rules regarding having a clear test. But to me it's the same thing for all the single people out there rooting around. I have assessed the risk against the fun I have. The fact that I mitigate the risk with condoms and regular STI checks and I have decided that for me group sex is worth it. I am careful, I don't just jump from person to person, and I do watch to see what others are doing and how careful they are. I take full responsibility for that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Protection = couple 'o' mates out back. Safe sex = getting out the window before the husband gets home. Guarantee to not spread/contract STI/STD's = Hire a minion!!! 😜- Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
11 years ago
We have never been to a sex club, nearly went for a look one night, though never made it. After reading some of the posts about group sex, and blokes taking off condoms when no one is looking and stuuf like that. I have some seedy feelings about sex clubsBut they are your cup of tea, so how do you feel about the general nature of safe sex in the clubs?
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RHP User
11 years ago
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's a risky activity, not everyone is vigilant and of course you are at greater risk due to having contact with more people. I do watch people and if they are not using condoms they are not for me. Mind you I prefer smaller groups. So, again you have to weigh up the risks. If you use condoms, wash after every play, etc etc. I know people who have been in the scene for years, and the seedy scene too, and have never had an STI ever. I know people who have had sexual contact with more men in one bender weekend or one big gang bang than I have had in my whole life!! But they have been lucky to never had anything ... Well I believe pubic lice was the worst. As for taking condoms off... In all honest it's the single guys that you meet one on one who do that. You have to constantly tell them each time to put a condom on or they try and slip it off when you are not looking. It's really terrible. And that is all ages I guys too.... Even when they know that I am not using any other contraceptive. I can never get my head around that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
All you can do is go for a look and asses the risk for yourself. Angel and Demon night tonight. You should go just to have a look. See what it's all about.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The amount of new people I have taken to the club.... We quite enjoy sitting on the side lines observing with a champagne. It's fun... I do enjoy that.
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madotara69
11 years ago
We always thought that the clubs would be really sensitive to the health, we have been told that most who go are couples. And if people were bringing STI's to the scene, the clubs would go down hill pretty quickly.Yep we most likely will go for a look one of these days, It is something we wanted to do for a long time.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Luvnya69' When enjoying a 3some or 4some, we've never found it to be an issue, as it's a fairly straightforward part of the play, condom swap. Be up front with your play friends at the start regarding safe sex, as you'll find that once in the moment, it just seems to flow. No Glove...No Love! Quoting 'Blindman67' If you have a little inelegance then trust is all you need. No reasonable person with an STI will play. No reasonable swinger will not go without a STI test at least twice a year. So ask, "When was your last test?", ask "Are you free of STI's?" then use your inelegance to determine if you can trust their answers.For in reality condoms do not mean safe sex. If you listen to the people that say condoms are a must, that they have never had an STI test because they believe they are safe because they always used condoms. Don't go near them. They are the most dangerous. Safe sex is about trust, not about condoms because condoms only reduce risk. THEY DO NOT prevent the spread of STI's. Only fools think condoms are safe.The only way to be safe is to get regular testing. Saying you always use condoms is not safe at all. Blindman67 your attitude is DANGEROUS!!!!!So you have an STi check today and have sex with an HIV carrier tomorrow and get infected by him/her ur test comes back clear as the test was done prior to the exposure!!!!Condoms are only thing that has any real degree of protection. Oh and the trust thing... You seriously are naive and poorly educated on STis!!!!I had a girlfriend for 18mths who 9mths into the relationship got "thrush" that just seemed to keep coming back, finally diagnosed with an STi. She had no idea and was devastated!! Fortunately as she couldn’t take the pill we ALWAYS practised safe sex, unfortunately it seems the guy she was with previously who cheated on her "trusted" one of the partners he had behind her back and didn't use a condom!Oh and how about Chlamydia??? An individual can have this STi for months with no symptoms, so based on ur rationale, have 2 checks up a yr, one in jan comes back clear, pick up chlamydia in feb, have unprotected sex with 10 women between feb and June and in June get diagnosed with Chlamydia, - so because you've been Intelligent ( try checking ur spelling!! good word to mess up!) and had ur STi tests and women have been stupid enough to TRUST you, 10 have been exposed, and Chlamydia can leave women sterile.Suggest before you start spouting absolute SHIT when it comes to Sexual health, get ur facts straight - YES I WORK IN MEDICINE!!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi all thanks to everyone who has contributed to the post we have been following it since it started with interest. We intend on venturing out in the near future for a meeting and thanks to all the members comments we are now a lot more informed. The condom on is a no brainer for us but we had little consideration to the nitty gritty like wipes when changing condoms for hands, hot juice and eye contact, showers during, fingers etc etc.Our sexual health is more important to us than the enjoyment we would possibly expect to get from an encounter so staying safe while having fun is paramount.While we except that contact outside our relationship has a level of risk we also concede that with mitigation the risk is reduced to an exceptable level.Once again hats off to the varied debated opinion of this topic, its makes reading these forums so much more important and informative when those in the lifestyle have ironed out the wrinkles of the game and provided valuable life lessons for us newbies. A big thank you to all.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'netstu'Quoting 'Luvnya69' When enjoying a 3some or 4some, we've never found it to be an issue, as it's a fairly straightforward part of the play, condom swap. Be up front with your play friends at the start regarding safe sex, as you'll find that once in the moment, it just seems to flow. No Glove...No Love! Quoting 'Blindman67' If you have a little inelegance then trust is all you need. No reasonable person with an STI will play. No reasonable swinger will not go without a STI test at least twice a year.So ask, "When was your last test?", ask "Are you free of STI's?" then use your inelegance to determine if you can trust their answers.For in reality condoms do not mean safe sex. If you listen to the people that say condoms are a must, that they have never had an STI test because they believe they are safe because they always used condoms. Don't go near them. They are the most dangerous.Safe sex is about trust, not about condoms because condoms only reduce risk. THEY DO NOT prevent the spread of STI's. Only fools think condoms are safe.The only way to be safe is to get regular testing. Saying you always use condoms is not safe at all. Blindman67 your attitude is DANGEROUS!!!!!So you have an STi check today and have sex with an HIV carrier tomorrow and get infected by him/her ur test comes back clear as the test was done prior to the exposure!!!!Condoms are only thing that has any real degree of protection. Oh and the trust thing... You seriously are naive and poorly educated on STis!!!!I had a girlfriend for 18mths who 9mths into the relationship got "thrush" that just seemed to keep coming back, finally diagnosed with an STi. She had no idea and was devastated!! Fortunately as she couldn’t take the pill we ALWAYS practised safe sex, unfortunately it seems the guy she was with previously who cheated on her "trusted" one of the partners he had behind her back and didn't use a condom!Oh and how about Chlamydia??? An individual can have this STi for months with no symptoms, so based on ur rationale, have 2 checks up a yr, one in jan comes back clear, pick up chlamydia in feb, have unprotected sex with 10 women between feb and June and in June get diagnosed with Chlamydia, - so because you've been Intelligent ( try checking ur spelling!! good word to mess up!) and had ur STi tests and women have been stupid enough to TRUST you, 10 have been exposed, and Chlamydia can leave women sterile.Suggest before you start spouting absolute SHIT when it comes to Sexual health, get ur facts straight - YES I WORK IN MEDICINE!!! Its strange that you do not seem to understand how testing protects swingers. I do not operate in a vacuum, I know many regular swingers. So lets say there are ten of us(Nice round number).I go get a test twice a year, they all go, at their connivance and get tested twice a year. Between us that is a total of 22 STI tests, close to one every two weeks.Now here is the really cool bit. if any one of us get any type of STI we go straight to the phone and tell all the others. We all stop fucking and get tested. If we have it we get it treated. Not only do the 11 of use have a warning of potencial infection, so do all the other people that we have slept with know that their is potential risk. No its not perfect but when you tell me that all I need to protect my self against Chlamydia, stop its spread and be confident that I am safe is a tiny bit of latex. Well I think I will stick to my shit.The more people that test reguarly the lest often we all have to get tested.I am sure you know that Chlamydia infects the eyes. That any fluids that come in contact with your eyes (including tears) will carry the the risk of infection. That these infectious fluids can pass into the nose and the mouth. That any hole you have in you body will have the Chlamydia bug. Also as you are in Med you will know that Chlamydia can survive up two 3 hours outside the body, it can survive boiling water. It is perfectly happy to catch a lift on a sneeze. It don't mind hanging out under your finger nails for even longer just waiting for you to rub your eyes, or feel up your lover.But Mr MED. Please do tell me why is it that over the last 10 years has there has been a 400% increase in known cases while there has been no significant change in condom usage. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that condoms have very little effect on the transmission of Chlamydia.70% of women can have it without symptoms and 50% of men. It can at any time without warning make you setrile. From the onset of the secondary infection to being permanently sterile requires only 7-12 weeks.So ask your self. How many of the people you have sex with get regular testing? Do you trust that they would inform you of a positive result? How often do you get tested? Now if the number of tests from all these trusted people comes to less then 4 a year. You with your tiny condom on, stand the risk of becoming sterile all the while completely unaware that you have it. From infection to sterile can take as little as 12 weeks. You are an irresponsibly fool. You risk you own health and that of others. It is completely treatable and you promote your bullshit "condom is the answer shit". If Chlamydia was the only STI I would not need to use condoms and be at significantly less risk then you, while most likely fucking many more people then you. Why are you people so incapable of understanding this. This is totaly selfish really. It is the only way I know of to protect my self and my close friends, not a stupid condom that covers a fraction of a your body where ever opening is oozing a dangerous easily treatable invisible bug.In 2001 their where less then 200,000 cases in a few years we will be approaching 1,000,000 cases.WHY? simple because people do not get tested and believe that condoms protect. Why do none of the other STI rates increase at the same rate. Think about it.You need to get your head examined.. but please get a test on the way. At least that will be one less vector to worry about.Now go back to work. You might work in Medicine but you are no trained health care professional.THERE IS ONLY ON WAY TO STOP THE SPREAD OF STI's dead in its tracks and that is testing especially for stupid ones like Chlamydia. If just 25% of the sexually active population of Australia go tested before the end of the year, by 2015 there would be almost no Chlamydia or any of the other treatable STI'sIf on more person tells me they practice safe sex because the always use condoms, and dont need testing. I will drag their sorry ass to the future adoption clinics and point to the endless line of childless couples that thought condoms where safe, and did not know that a good sneeze can transfer the bug as easily as a good fuck. FOOLs
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why did the chicken cross the road?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nobody is saying that testing is not an essential part of the lifestyle. It's only you who keep saying that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
safer sex (I don't say 'safe' because sexual contact always involves risk, no matter what precautions you take) involves being tested regularly AND always using condoms. Relying only on one or the other is not going to cut it, and I would be very hesitant to have sexual contact with anyone who does so, I don't care how much they say they trust the people they are sleeping with. I don't know them, so I don't trust them. There is only one person you can rely on, and that you know the full sexual history of, and that's yourself.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Everything you wrote.... hinges on trust. Trust, was your word of choice.Now.... while you might trust those you know in your swingers circle, and dont practice safe sex with............ can you trust those theyre with outside of that swingers circle who you dont know?!Implicitly, if you dont know them... there can be no trust of them.ipso facto... your circle of trust has holes in it. DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'ipso facto... your circle of trust has holes in it. DG Must... resist... juvenile... pun.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sex is not safe... neither is crossing the road nor drinking tap water... everything we do in life has risk so what I think everyone is getting at is the level of Risk Mitigation.Blindman uses trust as his risk mitigation which to some seems a little lack lustre and to others it seems reasonable. To me I don't trust to trust so I practice safer sex (thank you Luckdragon, love your work!).When looking at the scenario that MadoTara have put forward I find this quite acceptable that they wouldn't use protection with each other as they are happily married and would play as a couple with others, thus the risk is shared. One would assume that an individual who is invited to play with them, be it man with Tara or woman with Mado, will discuss and agree on the rules with both of them prior and honour those rules... thus is the sensible ruling for all couple play-dates (MFM, FMF, MMF, FFM etc etc). I don't see how Mado and Tara using protection with each other will increase the safety of the 3rd person and am happy to be educated.In group play (e.g. in a club with strangers or orgy) the agreement of protection will be hard to come to without having a big get together conference style so I would hope everyone playing with strangers en mass would assume the default position of "as much protection as possible" and look out for number 1... selfish I know but in this day and age with everyone being of differing opinions as we see in this thread can anyone afford to take the risk?And how long does it take to swap a condom? 10sec-1min?... a new one for a new hole seems quite reasonable to me and during the intermission there can be some self indulgence by the partner to keep themselves amused.Does anyone remember the good old AIDS ad's on TV... "You're not just sleeping with your partner but every partner they've ever been with".?SG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Amicus75' Sex is not safe... neither is crossing the road nor drinking tap water... everything we do in life has risk so what I think everyone is getting at is the level of Risk Mitigation.Blindman uses trust as his risk mitigation which to some seems a little lack lustre and to others it seems reasonable. To me I don't trust to trust so I practice safer sex (thank you Luckdragon, love your work!).When looking at the scenario that MadoTara have put forward I find this quite acceptable that they wouldn't use protection with each other as they are happily married and would play as a couple with others, thus the risk is shared. One would assume that an individual who is invited to play with them, be it man with Tara or woman with Mado, will discuss and agree on the rules with both of them prior and honour those rules... thus is the sensible ruling for all couple play-dates (MFM, FMF, MMF, FFM etc etc). I don't see how Mado and Tara using protection with each other will increase the safety of the 3rd person and am happy to be educated.In group play (e.g. in a club with strangers or orgy) the agreement of protection will be hard to come to without having a big get together conference style so I would hope everyone playing with strangers en mass would assume the default position of "as much protection as possible" and look out for number 1... selfish I know but in this day and age with everyone being of differing opinions as we see in this thread can anyone afford to take the risk?And how long does it take to swap a condom? 10sec-1min?... a new one for a new hole seems quite reasonable to me and during the intermission there can be some self indulgence by the partner to keep themselves amused.Does anyone remember the good old AIDS ad's on TV... "You're not just sleeping with your partner but every partner they've ever been with".?SG BANG BANG right on!!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Nobody is saying that testing is not an essential part of the lifestyle. It's only you who keep saying that.It easy to say, but there does not seem to be much doing by the way I interpret some of w
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Nobody is saying that testing is not an essential part of the lifestyle. It's only you who keep saying that.It easy to say, but there does not seem to be much doing by the way I interpret some of what people say. And its more the fact that people do not understand how limited the protection you get from condoms is, especially for Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and HSV2. STI Sexually transmitted infections does not mean infections transmitted during penetrative sex. but infections transmitted by intimate human contact. The are many doctors who classify prolonged kissing, touching as sex. Well I have had my say.
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madotara69
11 years ago
By the time you have dodged the Wallabies, Wombats, Deer, Goanna, Snakes, Water Dragons, Rabbits, Wood Ducks, Cows, Sheep, Trail bikes, and 4x4's. You have survived a risky journey, though we have fresh rain water running through our taps.Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Far out.... didnt think a fairly straight forward question would end in this.... I've read the first page, then lost interest and only skimmed over it.... Blindman.... if 80% protection to you is worse than 0% you have a screw loose, sorry.... All in all it is about accumulating safeties... tests, condoms, trust, knowledge.... Will ANYTHING EVER be 100% safe? No, but lets try and keep it as safe as possible.... Thanks to those for useful comments....
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