Safer safe sex....

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  OkeyDoke45

  8 years ago

  As soon as the terms are reneged upon by either party (almost invariably the male), such as the posted case or others (unrequested anal penetration or anal penetration that continued despite refusal of would probably be another frequently encountered instance), should be classified as sexual assault/rape and prosecuted accordingly. The same would also apply to sex that you consider too vigorous or rough where they are asked to stop but do not do so, a penis being forced into your mouth, forcing you to ''take a load'' orally, there are other instances that others could add I'm sure. I honestly do not know why some men consider sex where the partner has not enjoyed any part of it a win. There are some accidents - poorly timed cramps, back pain, involuntary flatulence - where pain or discomfort cannot be avoided. Things tend to stop anyway if you're back locks up or you cramp up. Flatulence could involve some repercussions via verbal admonishment but generally proceedings continue once the nausea dies down. Doing anything that you know your partner is not into or finds uncomfortable or painful - I don't know why you would want to at all. For me, I try to keep in tune with my partner to gauge the enjoyment (or lack of). if it appears they are not enjoying whatever it is that I am doing - a grimace or tensing up, noises of disapproval, pulling you away is a big one that you would be a fool to ignore, I stop and ask if they are okay. They may say it's fine just go slower - do so. They may say ''don't do that'' - stop it and don't go there again, even if it's something they have liked or done before. I let my partner decide what they want when they want - they will soon let you know if they wish you to enter them for instance. To a point though obviously - if you're both naked and you're waiting for permission to touch their breast or penis or whatever, that's probably going to get old rather quickly. Penetration though, I'm waiting for their prompts. Again, if they ask you to stop or slow down though - do so. At the end of the night (or day if you're a shift worker), you both should be grinning from ear to ear. Why on earth would you want to continue with something that endangers that?

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Quite simply, as a Man I find this to be Rape, nothing short of it. I hate condoms as much as any man, but I'd NEVER do this, that is reserved for very special people in committed relationships. This is poor for men..... - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Yes I read about that too. Interesting development just as a lot of the world seems to be going backwards with women's rights (such as Trump's new policies.)

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Ive had females try to discreetly remove my condom while she is on top...more than once. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  ruby_blossum

  8 years ago

  Regardless of gender or sexual identity...I like to think if you have chosen to enjoy a sexual encounter or relationship with another person, you are able to do so feeling secure....condoms being the least of things to worry about. Many people, not all, do discuss the yays & nays of limits ..have far to push it ('scuse the pun) . Its happened to me as well and the guys have been taken aback, shocked even, when I have put a stop to all further contact. I really dislike having choice taken away from me, especially when the choice has been agreed to by both parties to begin with. Appears that women do it to the guys as well...not on either :( Why does this happen? Why, in an age of sexual freedom far greater than years ago...do people refuse to listen-hear NO ? Is it because they have no regard for their self? Do they have no regard for their sexual partner? ....so many questions today :)

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  This was on Hack yesterday, but I didn't catch it, there is an article about the show "“Is this rape?” The legal grey-area around prosecuting ‘stealthing’ in Australia". So there is no specific law in Australia against it, yet. Someone would need to take it to trial. Gawd. I've had it done, twice. It's awful. It takes away your sense of power amd agency, and shows utter contempt for another person. It's a non- consensual action, and therefore I see it as sexual abuse. And yes, I'm aware of this being done to guys, as is deception about other forms of contraception. I like that it is being discussed, but if the perpetrators are aware it's not yet criminal, where does that leave a person who has had this done?

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Ok, there was a discussion on this on fetlife, and someone linked into a Pro-stealthing post in another group - it was from a group of people with a breeding fantasy / kink. I don't think there is ever one reason for an action, and for some reason this reason didn't jump out at me, initially. I was thinking it was more to do with power, and disregard for another's agency. As is much sexual assault, but maybe the need to breed, for some, has an impact. Can part of the reason be that we're hard wired to procreate, and if you can't by being a sort after mate, you'll do it by deception??

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  MrPlayful

  8 years ago

  Because they don't care about your wants and needs? They don't care about your experience? They don't care about your life choices? Your rights? Their responsibilities? Potentially your short term mental health after being violated? Possibly your short or long term general health? And definitely your long term mental health if the worst were to happen, not to mention financial implications if you can no longer work for whatever reason. Their choice, unknown to you, could be quite life changing for you and they simply couldn't give a shit how this could affect you at all. Why? All of the above because they are self centered arseholes. I wouldn't call it rape because I don't believe it has the same forced and violent approach, but it a violation just the same if they know beyond a reasonable doubt that you only wish to have sex if a condom is used, hence not consensual and therefore still sexual abuse. The big problem will be proving that it happened. With most rape I assume there would be physical evidence of restraint or struggle. With this it is consensual until they remove the condom and therefore no signs of physical conflict. Your word against theirs. You could install a video camera in the bedroom, but then that just opens up a whole new can of worms on a few levels. Ruby, this post is a great one to remind us of the dangers of the lifestyle we lead. Awareness hopefully brings safety. Pepper, whether or not those who do this are breeders or just arseholes, keep a knife in the bedside drawer... when caught, cut their balls off because either way they don't deserve to breed and pass on their traits.

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