Saving a relationship or delaying the inevitable?

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  CandDSwing

  9 years ago

  Hey there, My partner and I joined the lifestyle to experience this together , we don't personally believe that playing apart is something that we want as a couple. Perhaps if you are thinking that this is potentially 'delaying the inevitable" then you might be already emotionally withdrawn to a degree. On the disclosure front I think you both need to understand what is best for you, do you personally want each and every detail and if so do you believe you would get it? Or can you go on knowing that there were certain details and experiences you will fully never know. It's certainly something that might need a bit of discussion (as does anything in the lifestyle really) Hope you go well with what is best for you both C

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  Hottie1

  9 years ago

  Our relationship is in fact a little challenging. Hubby had spoken about swinging for years and he patiently waited and encouraged me to explore my sexuality further. We weren't fixing anything in our relationship, hubby is a worldly, open minded person and he believed I should expand my experiences. He hired an escort for my birthday over two years ago, simply to enable me to become more comfortable with other men. I was a virgin when I met hubby and till the escort had not had any sexual intimacy with any other man. Fast forward two years and I've become his hotwife. Hubby says he already 'has the best and can't keep up with me, lol' but he loves watching me with others and I also play alone. I mainly play with couples but have been looking for a special man to become my lover and friend, fingers crossed I think that I've found him 😉 We have complete disclosure and hubby generally meets playmates. On two occasions, hubby has disliked a playmate and out of respect for hubby, I no longer play or interact with that person. On both occasions, hubby's assessment was spot on! We communicate constantly. We check on how each other is feeling all the time. Hubby genuinely loves hearing of my experiences. He also understands that for me to be intimate with someone, I actually really care for that person and I will ensure that all the 'relationships' I'm in, all have the care and nurturing they need. I'm a very lucky lady, and along with my gorgeous hubby, I have the freedom to meet some very incredible people, who have become very special to me/us! Mary xx

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  him_and_me

  9 years ago

  We've mainly played separately (same house different rooms or just with one of us going off with someone else). It wasn't planned that way, but just seemed to happen. Seeing each other with someone else can be really exciting, but there are times when it can tug at the heart strings too. I would say that you need to have complete trust and honesty with your partner and make sure what it is you're both comfortable with. Once you have that sorted, then it's up to you how much you share. I can read Mrs him_and_me's messages if I want, but I rarely do. After a play date, I like to get a sense of what went on without getting a "blow-by-blow" account (pardon the pun). As ongoing maintenance of it all, simply make sure you're talking all the time and discussing any issues. One thing that always gives me great comfort in all this is that we have veto rights over any partner, situation or the whole idea of being with others. If anything feels uncomfortable for either of us, it's nice to know we can can simply let the other know that and we can address that right away with the full support of each other. It makes the idea of playing with others more relaxed and fun. I hope you guys can work things out and have lots of fun. Him - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  6 years ago

  OP I hope things worked out for the best, however they worked out.Some time ago my wife accepted that just because she'd lost her libido it was OK for me to have a functioning libido and a lover. When she found out I had found a lover it was quite confronting for her, but she accepted it as being inevitable and something she'd agreed too. It was always part of the deal that she was free to play around too, and she is now seeing someone too.The good news is that this has reignited her libido and we're enjoying a romp together quite often.So I guess this is a win/win for opening a marriage.

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  curiousm50

  6 years ago

  Another good book to read is "Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships" There are many many forms of relationships and levels of openness.

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  EarthQueen

  6 years ago

  Quoting 'MrMojoRisin' OP I hope things worked out for the best, however they worked out.Some time ago my wife accepted that just because she'd lost her libido it was OK for me to have a functioning libido and a lover. When she found out I had found a lover it was quite confronting for her, but she accepted it as being inevitable and something she'd agreed too. It was always part of the deal that she was free to play around too, and she is now seeing someone too.The good news is that this has reignited her libido and we're enjoying a romp together quite often.So I guess this is a win/win for opening a marriage. Glad its working out for you both. Isn't libido a weird thing, it has a mind of its own? I feel there is so much we don't know about sexuality and what makes us tick.

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  sweetnsensual

  6 years ago

  We play together as we love the joint experience Every experience is different

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