F57
Say my name
February 25 2017
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'm the exact opposite, I hate them overusing my name. I recently cut off communication with someone for overusing my name. I regretted actually telling him, and loose tongues worry me around here. Every message would have my name about 4 times. I found it creepy. I prefer they call me pet names, touchy works for me 😉 or babe, that kind of thing. I don't even need to know their name 😃
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RHP User
8 years ago
I like my name being used in person or in a message - especially to start. As we become more relaxed then not such a big thing if it's an ongoing chat. If there's a pause in the conversation for whatever reason (life gets in the way sometimes) then when communication restarts, names are better than 'hey'. Manners I guess. Pet names with play mates are not for me though. 'Babe' leaves me cold. 'Hun' or 'honey' not so sweet for me :) It makes me feel generic. Again that's just my thoughts on the subject. No judgement on anyone else. Just me :)
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Smilingwithfun
8 years ago
I feel it can make messages slightly impersonal if you keep using the persons name. bit like receiving letters from the Government. On the other hand, pet names can make it very personal.
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RHP User
8 years ago
it bugs me too.Many men must make a habit of not using the names of their playmates whilst messaging or speaking face to face.It's happened to me over and over with various men.I don't like that sort of treatment at all and find it rude and impersonal.If it continues, I will stop seeing that person.I have taken a couple of men to task on this but of course they couldn't answer my question.Obviously they had actually forgotten my name as they had gotten too accustomed to just calling me "babe" or "hun"
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Missb4u
8 years ago
This will crucify me but sometimes I just forget their name. What makes it worse is im a total hypocrite because I do like my name being used occasionally so I know they know who I am.
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Missb4u
8 years ago
Probably add that I'm not great with names in general. Faces I remember but sometimes takes me a little while to place the name
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'KillerHeelz' I like my name being used in person or in a message - especially to start. As we become more relaxed then not such a big thing if it's an ongoing chat. If there's a pause in the conversation for whatever reason (life gets in the way sometimes) then when communication restarts, names are better than 'hey'. Manners I guess. Pet names with play mates are not for me though. 'Babe' leaves me cold. 'Hun' or 'honey' not so sweet for me :) It makes me feel generic. Again that's just my thoughts on the subject. No judgement on anyone else. Just me :) I love pet names with a lover or somebody I know will be a lover...it's when they don't use your name or a pet name at all...it's just "Hey" or "Hi" or not even that!
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RHP User
8 years ago
Being called babe or hun,darling however I quite like. But I love being called by my name. I once asked a regular fb if he actually remembered my name ..bless 'I'm.:) Q
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RHP User
8 years ago
If someone can fuck you and not remember your name,?? Why would you want to see them again??
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RHP User
8 years ago
Missb4u :) I get the same thing. Don't feel bad coz then I'll have to too ha ha I just shrug it off at the moment and think it's just a downside of online conversation as it's anyways going to seem a little impersonal talking to a screen than a person, that's my view anyway - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
constant use of my name feels like those cheap "sales guy" tricks where they use your name frequently. I find it off putting.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I just launch into what I need to say... 😅 sometimes I will even remember to ask the typical how are you I do love pet names though 😍😍😍 omg... I don't think guys mind as much that I don't call them pet names 😋 I'm sure they would tell me. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' constant use of my name feels like those cheap "sales guy" tricks where they use your name frequently. I find it off putting. I agree but I like them to use my name (or a pet name if we're at that stage) every now and then.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Nothing wrong with being formal at first so you know the persons real name. Sometimes it's just there first name and that's enough. Having a pet name that she doesn't mind hearing occasionally is a nice way to express how us guy's feel. It's more important the content within the txt then a name. ? I ask her what she's comfortable in hearing or hopefully we make up one along the journey. 😉
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RHP User
8 years ago
Would agree if my first name was mentioned in every message I'd find it to formal and anal. Definitely sending a message should be more then a" Hey. How's your day " ? txt. Again it's all about how much effort you/they are willing to give and knowing how to communicate.
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Seachange
8 years ago
My sentiments exactly. Any fwbs or potential fwbs get extra brownie points for thoughtfulness. I know many men may have many lovers and are too lazy to remember names just in case the commit the ultimate faux pas of calling one woman another name. they are just cautious of losing their booty for that night . Lol
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RHP User
8 years ago
Would smell as sweet... Except as Lilyorchid said....if it isn't your name Luckily it hasn't yet happened to me. If it ever does, then he may lose booty access for more than just that one night. KH x
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RHP User
8 years ago
I've had guys, long term fb's, where we never exchanged names and I liked that. I never knew their names and they never knew mine, and here's the thing, they were the best guys I've met, not only because it was losing drama and/frills and just getting straight down to what it was we wanted to be doing, but they were respectful and genuine. I'm exactly the same now, it's about sex and sexual sensation, intimacy yes, but I don't want to marry them and don't need the formality of knowing their name. I like to remove any kind of formality from a sexual liaison. I appreciate everyone is different. Pet names for me anyway, are a great way to make you feel like you've known them longer, everything is fast tracked with hook ups, so if pet names are used, mutually agreeable pet names, I have some I hate, then I find them a lot sexier. It's kind of like role playing as their gf, but only when seeing or communicating with each other. Awesome, I get to pretend I have 25 yr old bf's 😜 I actually find it a bit off putting if they throw their name at me in early messaging, it then makes me feel like I'm under pressure to tell them mine when I might not want to, ever 😉 actually more so with older men who I might be communicating with, a polite conversation, but they know that's all it is, I then find giving me their name can seem pushy or over personal if we're just having a chat. Exceptions to that are a few forum guys I've gotten to know better 😃
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RHP User
8 years ago
I nick name people all the time. The first reason - I forget people's names. The real teason 2/ Depersonalisation. Emotional distance. When people dont refer tp you as you, by saying your name...they are making you less relevant in their life. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
A man who says my name when we're having sex or when he cums, is one of the biggest turn ons ever for me... it will make me cum almost instantly. Back on topic... it's a fine line between saying it just enough and not saying it too much. Like S_onTheLoose said, over use can make me feel I'm being interrogated or being given a sales pitch. I'm bad at using names especially in texts or messages, but I'm trying to do better, it's a respect thing. LeFemme, I hear what you're saying about nicknames being a way to establish emotional distance, but for me it's the opposite. If I give you a nickname, it means I'm seriously into you 🙂
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RHP User
8 years ago
*LaFemme - apologies!
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Chat convo as per real conversations. And it's not normal to use names in face to face as it's too much like your parents giving you a talking too. But if l haven't chatted a while l may use the first name to start..... If l can remember
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RHP User
8 years ago
Where the other lady referred to the man by his name ... I suppose she was giving him encouragement and feedback but I hated it and still do. Give me an affection pet name any day :) I love texting and messaging and both my gorgeous men have a pet name for me ... yes they're different :) It's a huge turn on because it only refers to me, it's affectionate and special to my relationship with them individually :) 'Mary this' and 'Mary that' is way too formal and impersonal for me. Mary xx
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thanks everybody for your responses, I appreciate it and enjoyed reading the different viewpoints. I just want to clarify that I love pet names and I agree, over use of my name is a turn off. I'm also specifically talking about messaging, not when you're with someone in person. I also don't expect the use of my name/pet name in every single message. It's when neither is ever used that it bugs me. I had a fwb a few years ago and it only lasted about 3 months. Whenever he messaged he would begin with "How are you?". He never began a message with Hi (insert my name)/babe/gorgeous/darling/beautiful. Nor did he ever use my name or a pet name in any message or in person. Even if we hadn't spoken for a couple of weeks. I felt at the time that it reduced me to just somebody to fuck, rather than a friend with benefits. I realise that this is not going to be a problem for everybody, I just wanted to see how other people felt.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I think changing it up is nice. Every new day, I start with a different line. It's not always a hi, it's not always morning sexy, sometimes it's straight to the point. But I get what the other person's style is and I don't mind. I love being called babe, gorgeous, sexy etc - swoon... but you know if they start calling other people that then hmmmmm 🤔 not special! So you know, it really depends on the individual. Some just don't suit when they call you a pet name cos it's not in their nature/style and asking them to call you that kinda loses its spark. Lol I don't know if that makes sense. But I've asked a bf at the time to call me babe and it was so awkward and forced hahaha so I won't do that anymore. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'm one of those people who never seem to get a nickname or petname except for an abbreviation or minor variation of what is a relatively uncommon name. Never the less I like to hear my name and see it used, it means I matter.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'that50zguy' I'm one of those people who never seem to get a nickname or petname except for an abbreviation or minor variation of what is a relatively uncommon name. Never the less I like to hear my name and see it used, it means I matter.
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RHP User
8 years ago
This could be just me but 'hey you' for me is quite intimate, it doesn't show affection necessarily but whenever I write hey you I smile a little after because its a cute term, its not a phrase I would use to someone I did not want to kiss.
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