M45
Security of meeting
February 27 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
I always ask the man if it is ok for me to give identifying & checkable info of his to a friend of mine. Have only had 2 say no & so told them there would be no meeting. I think having the licence number would be enough & I do understand your thoughts on ID theft.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I wonder what the outcry would be if a guy tried that, insisting a woman provide him photo ID prior to a meet - there would be hell to pay I bet.Same goes for profiles without photo's - I have been asked to either get on cam or provide a recent photo (complete with something showing the date) yet the woman flatly refused to provide any photo's of herself. When I refused I got called a player and a timewaster - go figure lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'mooka' I wonder what the outcry would be if a guy tried that, insisting a woman provide him photo ID prior to a meet - there would be hell to pay I bet.Same goes for profiles without photo's - I have been asked to either get on cam or provide a recent photo (complete with something showing the date) yet the woman flatly refused to provide any photo's of herself. When I refused I got called a player and a timewaster - go figure lol It's all about double standards really. This idea of providing identity is a bit of a joke really. Next thing you know they will be asking for a strand of hair and a set of finger prints. I have met a few woman, who have a friend on standby who calls within the first 15 mins of the meet, the person I have met replies with "I am okay and I will be at this address if I dont contact with you within such a time you know what to do" . I think this is a better idea , than to request personal info. I at times will hand out my facebook ID so that they can get an idea of my personality and see that I am not a psychopath!
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RHP User
13 years ago
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!As 'baygirl2315' overtime I've had my fair share of meeting people ;) and I have to say that for an initial coffee/meet & greet in a public place after texting someone/chatting online and on the phone - there's no way I would demand that a date scans their credentials for me to view prior to meeting them!!! Perhaps if the potential FWB was so HOT and was already mind fucking me - I would scan but omit all the personal stuff like the licence number and home address.... and just keep my name shown. Quid pro quo but!! I wouldn't send mine if they didn't send me their's first!!I'm extremely security conscious because of the type of industry I'm in, but WHAT THE FUCK???!!! Wow, I'm just glad I never had to date like this.... but I suspect it's a scam of some kind especially when you consider how many dating sites there are online...... and yeah, I'm sure she's a junior doctor. pfft!
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wannabyummymummy
13 years ago
This sounds extreme to say the least and to me it sounds dodgy.Of course you have to be careful and take precautions when meeting someone new for instance my husband always knows where i am and who i am with, i always have an exit plan and i trust my insticts during a casual (public place) coffee meet.I think in this case you dodged a bullet, NEXT!!!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
you were wise to be cautious friskyeatin. I have never asked for ID but do have a friend check in (as a precaution). However having said that, I would never agree to meet with a potential mate if there was even the slightest doubt in my mind. Stay safe :-)
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RHP User
13 years ago
when we play........ someone (a friend) always has the address and phone numbers...and even the name/s of our host/s...just in case.......
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RHP User
13 years ago
Meah. It's way too difficult really. I appreciate there's a risk and people need to protect themselves... I suppose it depends what your interests are in being here. I certainly would not hand over my license details as security to meet some stranger for coffee. Maybe yes, if I was going to borrow their car... but what's the chances of that? Trust is a two way street. You were wise to hang on to your identity. There are better ways to meet and greet. You can do that at a listed event for instance, in the company of numerous others... this strategy helps preserve your safety... and at least then, if the lady is a dud, all is not lost as you could socialise with some of the others. Who knows, you might stumble on a new life long friend by accident.HugsStalky
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think privacy is very important,do no even give your second name. all I ask is for the first name. Even when I do a photo shoot and its work, I just do not want to know as I protect others privacy and my own. As for the date thing we exchange info with our girlfriends where we are, with who off this site or anywhere for that matter. We do the phone call with the secret message thing so if there is danger they will know it. so far no problems and to be honest you have more problems from guys in pubs or even walking alone in a park. Life is full of risk for women Protect your ID at all costs especially if your married
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RHP User
13 years ago
protect your ID at all costs...especially if you're 'married'..........umm....... does that make it more important? if so....why?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Glad to hear that on this topic both male and female agree somewhat (for once) :DAppreciate the insight and at least I know I was not over reacting. BTW - she did contact me stating that "I dodged a bullet" - if people are that insecure, then why they on this site?secondly, if you honestly feel once meeting me that I am shifty (haha- don't judge me by my colour) then don't arrange to meet. The many others I have meet know me well enough and am sure they would vouch for me highly.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I usually ask myself for ID before I masturbate because I can only do it with the lights off and I can't be 100% sure that it's me. It's your own safety and you should take it as seriously as you need too, but just because some one says 'no' to the request it doesn't make them Hanibal Lecter.
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uneventful
13 years ago
It is actually illegal ... and a criminal offense to photocopy or reproduce by any means your license or passport .. with the exception of being asked by an office of the court, in relation to a case only .. Yet so many people do it without thinking .. Maybe you should do what us girls do ... meet in a public place in daylight .. and have a friend ring 20 mins into the meet time with a precoded message or warning word ... it works for both ..
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RHP User
13 years ago
Brilliant comment! I have never actually heard of anyone asking for a DL? For me if I meet up with someone from RHP I text a friend the address and the persons profile name so that if I disappear the police know where to start looking.Although, I don't make a habit of it... I have gone straight to a persons house after only exchanging a couple of emails. Oops. Quoting 'Ramakin' I usually ask myself for ID before I masturbate because I can only do it with the lights off and I can't be 100% sure that it's me. It's your own safety and you should take it as seriously as you need too, but just because some one says 'no' to the request it doesn't make them Hanibal Lecter.
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RHP User
13 years ago
so far no problems and to be honest you have more problems from guys in pubs or even walking alone in a park. Life is full of risk for womenAbsolutely as men in bars and on the streets won't try to charm you into their company or ask.....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' protect your ID at all costs...especially if you're 'married'..........umm....... does that make it more important? if so....whyKnock KNock "Mr Jones is your wife home?, I got your address from your wife's wallet after I was done jumping her bones all night anyway here are her knickers she left behind"
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RHP User
13 years ago
....but, for me personally, what you described was a little extreme.I don't meet many people at all from here but the very few I have, I've talked to for awhile and usually I can sense what sort of person they are, before we meet.Guess it comes down to the 'gut feeling', letting friends know of your whereabouts, and hopefully having great taste in non-murders *LOL*xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
Although I haven't really thought too deeply about it, I can understand why people want a bit of a security blanket when meeting up. I am not sure how I would react to being asked for my driver's licence, taht hasn't happened yet. I have had the "friend on standby" ring the person I was meeting, and I can certainly understand that. I do want to speak on the phone before meeting up though. There are two reasons for that I guess. One, you get a much better sense of who the other person is when you can hear their voice than you can with words on the page. Secondly you would be amazed at what information can be gleaned from phone contact in an investigative sense. Let's face it, CSI is just a TV show and the real world doesn't work like that, but in the real world of investigation phone calls can give an awful lot of information. Hmmmmm that almost sounds bad there, that kind of information has a lot of safeguards around it, it can't really be gotten casually, but if anything were ever to happen to me, the phone conversation would probably mean someone would get a knock on the door. Whatever makes you comfortable I guess. If you want to ask for a driver's licence and that makes you comfortable, go for it. If you want a friend to call, that's fine too. You can't really play well together until both of you, all three of you.....however many of you...are comfortable.
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RHP User
13 years ago
no...its not illegal to take a photocopy of a licence. in fact, its a requirement for a whole range of things, all having nothing to do with any court of law. as a means of identification,and to check licencing conditions and classes...companies are allowed to ask for a copy. financial institutions require proof of ID, as do local councils, clubs, sporting associations, welfare bodies, real estate offices, etc etc etc ..its just not advisable to leave copies laying around the place.....remember tho that the copies mean nothing...unless certified as a 'copy' by an agent of the court...which includes a JP.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'jokerza' Quoting 'mikeandshel' protect your ID at all costs...especially if you're 'married'..........umm....... does that make it more important? if so....whyKnock KNock "Mr Jones is your wife home?, I got your address from your wife's wallet after I was done jumping her bones all night anyway here are her knickers she left behind" just another reason married people should never play on the sly...i thought not straying wouldve been the best form of protection in this instance........oh and who is being protected? the husband at home and oblivious? or the wife...out there in studland?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'mikeandshel' Quoting 'jokerza' Quoting 'mikeandshel' protect your ID at all costs...especially if you're 'married'..........umm....... does that make it more important? if so....whyKnock KNock "Mr Jones is your wife home?, I got your address from your wife's wallet after I was done jumping her bones all night anyway here are her knickers she left behind" just another reason married people should never play on the sly...i thought not straying wouldve been the best form of protection in this instance........oh and who is being protected? the husband at home and oblivious? or the wife...out there in studland? Very good point!
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RHP User
13 years ago
LOL this is a joke right...your taking us all for a ride...why the hell would you give it to her, ask her for hers too and keep hers till your finished fucking her and then give it back to her when your done..lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
yea leesa, it does sound a bit extreme.... but in this 'enlightened' age....you just never know do you?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Just exchange business cards like normal people FFS! Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Talk about paranoid. You're just shagging. Hell, I rarely know a name. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
13 years ago
No risk no gain........*BUT* you can never be too safe there are crazy people out there looking for ways to lure people in.I was assaulted and deprived of my liberty answering an ad for share accommodation in a highrise FFS........I was there for a couple of hours - believing I was moving in - before the BDSM nut job tried to force himself on me- unsuccessfully.....I dominated him (in defence) and stabbed him with his kitchen knife. I nearly died falling/scaling the outside of the terraced building (12 storeys : 7 impacts) I say this not to shock but to validate the reality of life threatening situationsI was naive and trusting and whilst most are lucky - fingers crossed- some are not at all and some like me are 1/2 lucky :) No one knew where I was- that will NEVER happen again play date or any other time that I go into someone's home/trap.Giving someone as much info as possible is essential- it *is* dangerous meeting someone in private. "just shagging" that's what you hope stalky but if it's a crazy psycho you are not going to know til it's too late and wouldn't a calculated freak factor the early phone call in rendering it of little protection??? I played once without my partner but text him a lot- but even that could have been false though I doubt anyone could impersonate my complicated text ha!!! My man knew where I was though and luckily all went well.Cass xxx play safe :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
Of course Cassy you're right. Play safe. I very rarely do one on one situations and then, usually in public places. Mostly I meet people in the relatively safe environment of a sex on premises facility but otherwise in very public situations. You have to be sensible about your own safety. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
13 years ago
If i asked for everyone's full name and details before they entered the club NO ONE would come..lolToo extreme i say.....everyone is allowed a little privacy, do your research first dont just play with anyone, be safe play safe and enjoy.I dont think the young folk of our day ask for id before they go out on a date or simply have naughty sex in the toilets..lol I recon a number plate would be sufficient if you are that concerned about the person you are sharing naughties with.If you have any worries WHY bother doing it....simply not that important..OR IS IT for some.?Leesa xxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
I am naturally a trusting risk taker that had to re-adapt. I value living and meeting ppl so yes precautions are a good idea.I wouldn't ask someone for id discretion is someone's right I think. The person asking could be a crazy stalker or worse.I would go to a singles night- that's smart play.....pity they only go til 12 am and are on school nights (nudge nudge)Couplesint- Number plate's a good idea :) I NEVER ignore my gut (it was right/lesson learned) - if it's not no harm done.I do believe the psycho whack jobs will put on their best impression of a nice normal person and do it for as long as it takes to bait you. That's what they say about supermarket massacre's- "oh he was just a nice, quiet guy that kept to himself blah blah blah".Hmmm it just occurred to me that I let my drink be poured without looking at it in a hotel room by a stranger = STUPID!Note to self...........A GIRL CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL - SELF PRESERVATION IS A FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLE.Says a lot for swinging in the park, safety in public and numbers hahaha.Cass xxx
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RHP User
13 years ago
There are some interesting comments and stories- THANKS ALL for staring I must say when I met the member, my gut feeling was good. We had great conversations over drinks and though it was cut a little short due to the pancake parlour closing, we continued on outside. We had common interest as both come from the health/ medical field. She did confirm again that our play time would only be a once off which I had to be content with. I was just wanting to organise something casual with maybe a bite to eat and drinks before a lot of fun. Guess wanted to make the most of a once off with just a seemingly good person (well... my impressions anyway) NO! couplesint I am not kidding about her wanting a scanned copy of my licence. I honestly thought it was a joke. The idea to give my licence to her was just that maybe to make her feel safe she could call/ txt someone my details. Just wanted to keep her mind at ease. Not having and keep my licence or a scanned copy. In a way I do regret that what we planned did not venture on, but in the end if she was doubtful then so be it, and I respect that. I never have or will place someone / people I meet in an uncomfortable position (mentally speaking not physically lol). I know I did the right thing by not giving me details and I have met many groups,couples and females on this site with far less effort and enjoyed the company including the one last Tuesday from just drinks at their local pub and naughty things in the Redcliffe pools at midnight... To all, Have Fun, Be Naughty, Play Safe & Bring a Smile to the Other :D
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RHP User
13 years ago
we tell our friend of our plans...so she knows roughly where we are , and who we might be with. its not much...but it may help... that we can both 'handle' ourselves helps...people should have self defence training.... it has benefits on many levels.
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RHP User
13 years ago
There are some interesting comments and stories- THANKS ALL for staring I must say when I met the member, my gut feeling was good. We had great conversations over drinks and though it was cut a little short due to the pancake parlour closing, we continued on outside. We had common interest as both come from the health/ medical field. She did confirm again that our play time would only be a once off which I had to be content with. I was just wanting to organise something casual with maybe a bite to eat and drinks before a lot of fun. Guess wanted to make the most of a once off with just a seemingly good person (well... my impressions anyway) NO! couplesint I am not kidding about her wanting a scanned copy of my licence. I honestly thought it was a joke. The idea to give my licence to her was just that maybe to make her feel safe she could call/ txt someone my details. Just wanted to keep her mind at ease. Not having and keep my licence or a scanned copy. In a way I do regret that what we planned did not venture on, but in the end if she was doubtful then so be it, and I respect that. I never have or will place someone / people I meet in an uncomfortable position (mentally speaking not physically lol). I know I did the right thing by not giving me details and I have met many groups,couples and females on this site with far less effort and enjoyed the company including the one last Tuesday from just drinks at their local pub and naughty things in the Redcliffe pools at midnight... To all, Have Fun, Be Naughty, Play Safe & Bring a Smile to the Other :D
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RHP User
13 years ago
I always let a friend know the details of the person i'm meeting up with. It's a risk you take and I feel it's best to play on the safe side. There are some nutters out there.
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