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RHP

RHP User

M74

Seeking People Who Are Shit Boring: More Profile Research

June 11 2013

profiles

rhp life

So having resolved the scam profile issue, and diverted myself with friendly rats, I have been dutifully poring through profiles and here's the thing. Most profiles (like mine) don't have faces. Most profiles don't fill out the sexual/fetish checklists. Most use a pre-written template self description, and most have the same as a subtitle: "Seeking people for fun and friendship" or "I am horny and I need help NOW". If you are scrolling through them (even the 7 people who 'are looking for me' take up some time), you tend to try to do a quick scan, to see if something attracts. (BTW at this point the 'men don't read profiles, the bastards' meme loses all traction. Most women don't write profiles. The one thing one is an expert on is oneself. If one cannot write a few paras about the one thing one is an expert on, what hope is there?What I did was scan a few pages out of 'A boy's guide to perving on your sister's friends' and copied it, and that seems to work for the big description. Next week I will spice it up by scanning 'A playboy's guide to rats who will do anything'.But it is the subtitle I am working on. I started with one that was pretty ordinary, but at least I wrote it myself. Today I changed it a bit; nice try, but no cigar.Tomorrow I am going to replace it with 'Go on! I'd bang him if I was you!' but that poses problems of internal logical inconsistency. Who is 'I', and if it's me, isn't it just an ad for wanking? Not easy.I thought of writing 'Jesus I'm nice!' but that would only get the christians, and I have difficulty having detailed conversations with them, sadly.The day after I had hoped to use 'Please provide pounding pussy for poor pathetic puny prick pal' but it seems to be too long, which is annoying - you have to admit the alliteration is sex on wheels.I am also considering 'Holy jesus! I lost that $100,000.00 in my foreskin; please help!' but the difficulty is that it doesnt take much consideration to find out that I don't have a fucking foreskin, so it is not what you'd call a long term strategy.So there you go. M 62

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It is a mindfield (sic) but you seem to have most of the options covered! Made me smile again!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Your style reminds me of someone I used know - I like it. He turned out to be a prick - but I'm sure you're a lovely chap!Mrs.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Ah, thanks for that. Love your work!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Now I have the image of rats wearing Playboy bunny ears in my head. Not nearly as disturbing an image as I would have initially thought. Wonder if that's anything to do with the No Doze and painkillers.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    How come I don't get it?

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  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    12 years ago

    What's to get. Man with too much spare time on his typing hand. lol DG- Posted from rhpmobile

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  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    12 years ago

    However... I see his POV.... More like one of those anti-ads. Makes a change from the run of thinly veiled personals we've had in here recently.... .... the kind which starts out asking a question then typically slides seamlessly into the "I'm available" purpose for the topic. Seems admin is watching, eraser in hand this week. lol DG- Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Holy Shit....."My foreskin is missing along with that million dollars"?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' What's to get. Man with too much spare time on his typing hand. lol DG- Posted from rhpmobile At least he doesn't take himself too seriously, unlike some on here.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    not put a picture up.Maybe some women find you adorable. But hey how can they find you adorable when there is nothing to look at.Yes we like our mind played with, but a photos can speak too.So be a brave man and get someone to take photos and show us your FACE>we don't need to see your penis without foreskin and you don't have to show us the missing money.So what you say about this idea?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    that the foreskin of a rat,is very ,very small

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Mainly because I have a head like a boarding house pudding. Mothers hide their children's faces when I walk down the street. But I am screwing my courage to the sticking place and maybe I will.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Karynbbrilliant idea. I'll just have to spellcheck 'billion' and away I go. Sorta

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Luckdragon have I got the Townsville speech pattern down ay?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' What's to get. Man with too much spare time on his typing hand. lol DG- Posted from rhpmobile Agree with Litonya, a pic may help Freya, did you actually see this??? Which makes me wonder if any animals have foreskin?? Anyone??

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Did someone say foreskin ... nom nom ...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    show me the money, honey ... (reckon this'll pass the mods???) ... testing 1 2 ...... testing ......

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Trouble is that I started out as a prick. Now considering being a nice bloke, but all this typing is hard work; I have to hold the computer up above my head with both hands and then reach up and type and it's hard when you can't see the keys and have to kind of blindly tap your way around hoping that you hit the right lefffers

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'kingoftheroad' Luckdragon have I got the Townsville speech pattern down ay? Anywhere north of Brisbane you'll fit right in.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    " trailor for sale sale or rent"...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Hi! King of the Road :) Thank you for your Light hearted tongue in cheek Thread. I enjoyed your verbal aerobics very much and had more than a giggle reading it he! he! he ! I checked out your Profile for my research to add substance to your ID. you didn't disappoint it's as informative original and entertaining as this thread. I look forward to reading and replying to more of your contributions on the Forum . .Enjoy Lu :)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Thank you so much for your kind words!The truth is I didn't write any of it; I just drank huge amounts of absinthe and then the absinthe elf came in the window and hit the keyboard. I choose my shirt/tie combinations the same way.(If ever you are in Sydney, let me take you to the absinthe room in Surry Hills. Possibly the worst taste interior in the world, but the absinthe ceremony - slotted spoon, sugar cube, ice water dripped through the cube into the absinthe until it takes on the requisite milkiness - is to die for. They only let you drink 3, then you have to leave.)m62

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