M38
Seriously why bother?
March 18 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
For shits & giggles. Sorry, truthfully I have no idea why people play mind games like that. Just too boring. NEXT! :D
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RHP User
12 years ago
what happens if they giggle and do number twos,the Queen had gastro last week..maybe young man that is what happened.I do hope they are feeling tickety boo again now.
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RHP User
12 years ago
... Is only a very small facet of my life . I'm a busy person . I'm a Single Dad with a full-time job . Finding Me Time can be quite difficult . I wish this wasn't the case . I wish I could put more energy into pursuing Women . But I made the bed I lie in & I'm content with my lot . I wouldn't arrange a Meet and then call it off at the last minute but I understand that Stuff happens . Sometimes Life can get in the way of Pleasure . Having said all that OP ,some people will play games to avoid Confrontation . Hang in there Mate . There's plenty of Fantastic Women here... ;) GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'MisterGreen' ... Is only a very small facet of my life . I'm a busy person . I'm a Single Dad with a full-time job . Finding Me Time can be quite difficult . I wish this wasn't the case . I wish I could put more energy into pursuing Women . But I made the bed I lie in & I'm content with my lot . I wouldn't arrange a Meet and then call it off at the last minute but I understand that Stuff happens . Sometimes Life can get in the way of Pleasure . Having said all that OP ,some people will play games to avoid Confrontation . Hang in there Mate . There's plenty of Fantastic Women here... ;) Thanks mate, Well said.....I just think its a bit daft, this doesnt only occur with online meets but people I have known for years.....Have had one arrange plans, call them off 5 mins before I leave, only to have them contact me 3 hours later saying they want me to come over again.....in the smart word mentioned the wire "shieeeeeeeet!"- Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
Jokerza..... There are several kinds of flaking out. Most can be avoided easily if you set the meeting up right in the first instance..... and there ARE conversational methods to go that. However, if hou want to confirm your plsns to meet, before you even get ready to go meet someone (ie, an hour or two beforehand, contact them and say ... "hey, something's come up and I might be 5 minutes late....." ....then shut up and see how they respond. 99% of the time if they're going to flake or no-show, you'll find out there and then and save yourself the home and frustration later. DG- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
If it is happening everywhere, in real life and with online meets, then there may be a single common factor......perhaps you're giving them permission (even encouraging them) to stuff you around.Are you the fun, easy-going, happy-go-lucky, good time guy? Always ready and willing for any adventure?Perhaps dial back your availability a bit? Perhaps if a few people start hearing "sorry, I was available earlier, but I'm busy now" (even if it means you'll be home alone watching reruns of Oprah), they'll have to reconsider taking you for granted.*shrug*
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well my make friend posted a reply to this post and it seems that after 7 years on the site his profile is suddenly gone. Looks like they don't like any negative on this site.
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RHP User
12 years ago
That day, text them early on to make sure it's still on...
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RHP User
12 years ago
I firmly believe people treat you how you let them treat you. And I also believe if you watch and listen closely enough the signs of their true character are there very early. If it's friendship, perhaps it's worth over-looking their flakiness because of the other great stuff they have to offer. If it's an online fling, by definition it's not serious or committed, so easy come easy go. I hold myself and people in my life to a high standard and I'm pretty uncompromising about that. I honestly think people tend to let others get away with far too much crap.
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RHP User
12 years ago
well gooooooooolie I would like a dollar for every person I know who has stood outside of a cafes as some idiot did a drive by, and though no to fat to thin to old to young...zoom zoom Or people that fly interstate or over seas, and are standing at the airport with dick or luggage in hand , with a where are you sweetie, to the no answer of the phone or oahhh ohaaas mmm something came up..cant find a babysitter, cant get my car started, cant find my key’s and I ran over the cat on the way to meet you. All of this AFTER you flew to where MR. Miss Cyber rock star said he/she lived. The best are the ones that have a few lined up a few potential meets and work out what one will be the sure thing. coffee..nope, dinner ...nope , no expectations meet....nope Fuck your brains out, no matter who you are?...yep my kinda girl/guy or in that case mostly guy wanting guy or girl thing. Most women on here are not looking for fuck your brains out sight unseen. Unless its on the phone and who gives a shit then. Its all smoke and mirrors honey, be prepared to get stood up or fucked over . Or on the odd occasion get laid Remember Gomer Pile and you will not hear the words SUPRISE SUPRISE I have just had coffee with a girlfriend of mine on here, had to slap her twice over the head for being sucked in. Your cute, your smart and your just gonna have to wear this now and again...:) Welcome to cyber land, where anyone that can type can make them selves into anything they like. Rude people are everywhere but internet interaction makes it so much easier for them.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Messolonghi' Perhaps dial back your availability a bit? Perhaps if a few people start hearing "sorry, I was available earlier, but I'm busy now" (even if it means you'll be home alone watching reruns of Oprah), they'll have to reconsider taking you for granted. Thanks for the advice Messo. I think I'll start doing that more often. As it is, I am now starting to tell people that I need to check my diary first but still try and accommodate them. I guess a flat refusal would make them think my time is important not to be jerked around.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm still new to this. Yes, men are also flakers. To me at least anyway. I admit I cancelled on a guy, then he did it back to me. Ha, served me right. That's the end of him. Another cancelled on me, do I just forget him or wait and see. He did apologise that night and again the next day. But mmm. Whatever.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
... It's not just on-line.I've been stood up so often over the years it's getting harder to give a shit!!!! I pashed & got numbers from three women Friday & Saturday night - All will probably flake (Two haven't replied yet! third I'm not sure I can be bothered). I must admit, I've started to flake lately myself. Never flaked with an on-line meet. However, I tend to chase low investment meets, 30-60mins first meet. I give one text, if they don't reply, I cant be bother! If they cancel or flake once, next!!
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
Sorry Ballard...... and this is NOT a direct stab at you, ok...... .....but if you kiss these women (plus obtain their numbers), and they decide not to follow up with contact when you want them to.... it can only say one of 4 things...1. they were drunk2. they were embarrassed by what they did (likely because of 1) and any attraction they had for you is gone3. you suck at choosing women for anything more than a partypash lol4. the way you ended the interaction, and/or your follow up method isnt working to enhance the initial attractionI guess it depends what you want from your interactions with women.If its only a bit of fun, in that time and that place.... then sure..... but, if you are actively seeking a little more, then obviously, something needs to change.DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry OP it happens to the best of us - and I find it rather rude sometimes.I am so over it!!I get my hopes up, have excitement, get the fuzzy wuzzies and then BANG!! they cancel.I dislike that FALSE HOPE.There is one person who mainly does this to me. I have actually let them know (in a nice way) that it upsets me. It is up to them what they do with it.The thing is...I have to give this person the benefit of doubt as they too are a shift-worker (just like myself) so I tend to be a little fair towards them and try to walk in their shoes plus I do like them as a person.If this behavior continues, I will have to put a stop to it, as it is starting to do my head in and I can't deal with that - I like my head space in a good place not all over the place due to one persons behavior...Their behavior is beyond my control.Foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
with that approach and attitude, I'm not surprised they flake. Quoting 'Balllard' ... It's not just on-line.I've been stood up so often over the years it's getting harder to give a shit!!!! I pashed & got numbers from three women Friday & Saturday night - All will probably flake (Two haven't replied yet! third I'm not sure I can be bothered). I must admit, I've started to flake lately myself. Never flaked with an on-line meet. However, I tend to chase low investment meets, 30-60mins first meet. I give one text, if they don't reply, I cant be bother! If they cancel or flake once, next!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' Sorry Ballard...... and this is NOT a direct stab at you, ok...... .....but if you kiss these women (plus obtain their numbers), and they decide not to follow up with contact when you want them to.... it can only say one of 4 things...1. they were drunk --- I never chase drunk women -- to much effort, there is no way to communicate effectively2. they were embarrassed by what they did (likely because of 1) and any attraction they had for you is goneOne of, absolutely pushed too fast, but worse ... her friend was left on her own & pissed. It's funny, as a guy when you mates involved you're expected to wait. Women get the urge to break it up or be rude. 3. you suck at choosing women for anything more than a partypash lolUnless you have friends in the women's social circle flaking is highly likely. Women with options rarely follow up on men unless there is social pressure too!! i.e. her friend said I was a cool guy. 4. the way you ended the interaction, and/or your follow up method isnt working to enhance the initial attraction& Yes low investment equals high flaking! Still learning on how to end an interaction as well as an effective follow up. Starting to get a feel for it!DGSo... now instead of high jacking Jokerza thread.... back to the question at hand, Flaking! Women always flake in low investment scenario's... RHP is a low investment scenario!! you can't change it... but you do have to accept it!
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
Youre welcome.DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'lil_bit_angelic'I firmly believe people treat you how you let them treat you. And I also believe if you watch and listen closely enough the signs of their true character are there very early. \ My motto right there. I have never been stood up. And that's not because I'm awesome, it's because I'm good at screening. As I've said before, if there is any sign of flakiness or anything that doesn't feel right, there will be no meet. So many times I'd heard the "Well, they were a bit indecisive/unavailable/rude/unclear/contradictory/etc, but I decided to give them a chance. And then I was stood up!" Yeah, no shit....
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discreet_liasons
12 years ago
I think RHP users have one of the highest rates of mental illness I've seen. A great deal of the behaviour of women I've encountered here defies logic and reason. Messages back and forth with increasing interest from the woman then "Sorry my situation has changed" or "sorry you don't fit what I'm looking for" or some equally lame excuse. To be honest (forum regs excepted as we're all special) I think many of the female profiles have absolutely no idea what they want and are happy to fuck people around to break the boredom.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'discreet_liasons' I think RHP users have one of the highest rates of mental illness I've seen. A great deal of the behaviour of women I've encountered here defies logic and reason. Messages back and forth with increasing interest from the woman then "Sorry my situation has changed" or "sorry you don't fit what I'm looking for" or some equally lame excuse. To be honest (forum regs excepted as we're all special) I think many of the female profiles have absolutely no idea what they want and are happy to fuck people around to break the boredom. Sorry I am going to have to disagree with you here...only on the point you made highlighted above. You see I do believe a independent woman will know what she wants, she will NOT be happy to f*ck people around to break the boredom. I think the statement you made is extremely harsh and if this is your logic, I am sorry to hear. There are some amazing people on here - it's true!!One more thing..unless you are a trained psychiatrist to actually make a statement that "RHP users have one of the highest rates of mental illness" is a little bad taste to read also, as some people make take offense to that. Can I say you are a lucky man to even get messages saying ""Sorry my situation has changed" or "sorry you don't fit what I'm looking for" or even a response. Some man on another Forum received a message from a women saying that he needed a haircut!! To me that was rude.To put ALL women into one basket is night right in my eyes...you see women get rude emails as well and I would say (from a forum regular poster) that because there are more females than males in ratio that women would cop the abusive contact and sorry can't make it something came up more.Maybe it might be your Profile name that puts some women off as they may not discreet Liaisons - not every woman wants that. Just trying to be logic and non-judgmental that's all. :)FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
there seems to be a lot of ''flakiness''...messages then nothing,then weeks months go by and another message..or nothing...it doesn't really bother me personally but I can see how frustrating it must be. The important thing is to not take it too seriously....some people just love the game,...others loose interest because they have found what they are looking for......some are fakes...in more ways than one.... My advice is to come here with no expectations and then you can only be pleasantly surprised....if you actually meet someone you like.
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RHP User
12 years ago
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RHP User
12 years ago
represent that about flakes...... crazy as a loone here I do agree there are some people on rhp with some mental health issues, but just like there is in the society we live in the problem is that they can make life a bit messy for others when they take the fairy tale offline and it impacts on people in a bad way. Not turning up for a meeting may in that case turn out to be the least of your worries.
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
Take the messages sent by anonymous people to heart at your own peril.And whinging about it aint gonna change the situation.So.... if you're not getting what you consider to be the results you want..... you have a choice.But it seems form the comments made by the women in here, the choice most guys make is to keep doing the same ineffective thing and expect a different result.Einstein had something to say about that mentality. DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
...there's a fire they have burning for someone else..There's few valid excuses that permit this sort of sudden abandonment of having an intimate/intriguing meet....What's the quotient of quitters who are really players/shy/pretenders/teasers/fakes or plain serviced by some other Dude/s...?.Back-up or New-substitute Dudes being 'Groomed' for fun, have to wait for a preferred-dude to vacate. And sometimes they pop back in with a pleasant surprise for her....And there's your surprise...if it can be called that? This is no "Fun Game" but the prerogative of some women.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's not just women who do this, twice this month we have been stood up, different guys who came across as very interested, constant txt's and promises of what will be until the day before meet and then nothing! A simple "changed my mind" will do. It seems like there are a lot of people on here that like to play games or get off on deception. There are also some awesome people, so it's a matter of getting better at whittling down I suppose.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Read between the lines ;)
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discreet_liasons
12 years ago
I don't see where I lumped all women in the same pile but you read it how you want. To me the definition of mental illness is doing the same thing repeatedly expecting a different result. The number of women IN MY EXPERIENCE (read that twice so you understand it's not meant as every woman) that grind an axe due to previous men's less than hoped for behavior making the new guy jump hoops and suffer for it is staggering and they wonder why guys don't stick around. I also think that there are a great deal of only semi literate people who's comprehension of the messages they get us about 3rd grade level at best. I recently sent a friendly message to a woman who complained bitterly that all men on this sex site are all bastards only looking for sex and none of them know how to fuck or lick pussy. Yet she's still here looking for Mr Brady on a sex site replying to people who make a simple friendly gesture with venom and spite. The next group are the every trying to punch way above their weight for a long lasting relationship type. They only go for incredibly good looking guys, get used for sex, dumped then repeat the cycle then complain all Men are users. You might find the term "mental illness" offensive but I reckon IN MY EXPERIENCE its spot on the money.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'discreet_liasons' I don't see where I lumped all women in the same pile but you read it how you want. To me the definition of mental illness is doing the same thing repeatedly expecting a different result. The number of women IN MY EXPERIENCE (read that twice so you understand it's not meant as every woman) that grind an axe due to previous men's less than hoped for behavior making the new guy jump hoops and suffer for it is staggering and they wonder why guys don't stick around. I also think that there are a great deal of only semi literate people who's comprehension of the messages they get us about 3rd grade level at best. I recently sent a friendly message to a woman who complained bitterly that all men on this sex site are all bastards only looking for sex and none of them know how to fuck or lick pussy. Yet she's still here looking for Mr Brady on a sex site replying to people who make a simple friendly gesture with venom and spite. The next group are the every trying to punch way above their weight for a long lasting relationship type. They only go for incredibly good looking guys, get used for sex, dumped then repeat the cycle then complain all Men are users. You might find the term "mental illness" offensive but I reckon IN MY EXPERIENCE its spot on the money.- Posted from rhpmobile Actually, your use - and your definition - of the term 'mental illness' is not only offensive, it is also extremely inaccurate and shows an incredible ignorance about what mental illness actually is. It is not some subjective notion of yours that can be used to explain every character or personality flaw that you perceive a person to have and that you are bitter about, even if it is IN YOUR EXPERIENCE. Guess what....most people are fucked up in some way/s, and most of the time it has nothing to do with actual mental illness. None of the behaviours you are describing are any reason to think that the individual involved is actually mentally ill.....yep chances are a few will be, but all you can say for sure is that these are people making poor decisions and choices and not learning from their mistakes. Or perhaps they are just selfish assholes, plain and simple. Yes, people can just be selfish, and assholes....without having any underlying condition that makes them that way. Just because someone's behaviour doesn't fit in with your idea of what they should be doing, or you don't approve of the people they are approaching, doesn't mean you can label them and in the process stigmatise all those who do have M.I. I'm getting really sick of topics like this always ending up talking about mental illness as the reason why some people don't reply to messages, don't turn up to meets, are abusive in their messages, go for this type of guy / girl when they're clearly out of their league / do this when they've done it before and it didn't work....whinge whinge blah blah. The fact is that there are always going to be people who do things that we think are wrong, or nasty, or stupid, or whatever. And in online environments in particular you have to expect to deal with and see this type of behaviour. It doesn't mean they are mentally ill, and in fact in the end it doesn't even matter why. If you're going to let some stranger's behaviour bother you that much then you probably shouldn't be here. And you can use the extra time to do a bit of reading and educate yourself about what mental illness actually is instead of throwing the term around in an ignorant manner.
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RHP User
12 years ago
my interpretation of ''flakiness'' is NOT mental illness but inconsistent behaviour....according to the urban dictionary...to change plans without notice and then to have a ridiculous excuse...
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RHP User
12 years ago
I did warn you using that word -Take note other guys reading this Forum...To put a diagnosis label a woman because she "changes plans" or "Thanks or no thanks" is NOT a mental Illness- it happens to nearly everyone on here...The difference is its NOT real life, its just words, untill you actually meet.. Foxy
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discreet_liasons
12 years ago
Discreet trolling lmao. I've been reading the forums and profiles in here for years now and one thing is unwavering. The percentage of time wasters, flakes, no shows, scammers, gold diggers, hypocrites, liars, cheats, drug addicts and disease carriers between men and women are the same but the ratio of men to women in here is much higher. The thing that sticks out the most is the complaints of men aren't tolerated and heaven forbid we generalize, that will bring swift excommunication and scorn from the forum mafia. Anyway it was a fun troll, got pretty much the reaction I forecast and the ones I know to be a little more cautious, tolerant and understanding of the plight of the average male in here were exactly that. Just so you're on the same page as those that know me well in here, I spent 16 years married to a woman who suffers anxiety, depression, premenstrual syndrome and bipolar and before the removal of her uterus endometriosis and poly cystic ovary syndrome. I work my business and have a second income to ensure she has a comfortable home to herself and the best available medical help when she needs it. Almost every woman I've met since we split can't tolerate that I'm a big part of her support network even though we have 2 kids together and she has no family. But whatever I do I better not say women in my experience are insecure. Don't tell me I don't understand mental illness, I've lived it, had to care for my mother during her breakdown then menopause. If you're ever in Sydney and got a free day I'll be happy to share my personal battles with aspergers while we take him fishing, he likes fishing and thanks in no small way to his mum you'd never pick his autism. Anyway just for those that are a bit sensitive I'll try a little harder to cater to a bunch of people I've never met, am unlikely to meet that are indifferent to my life because you said so ;)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFox' Sorry OP it happens to the best of us - and I find it rather rude sometimes.I am so over it!!I get my hopes up, have excitement, get the fuzzy wuzzies and then BANG!! they cancel.I dislike that FALSE HOPE.There is one person who mainly does this to me. I have actually let them know (in a nice way) that it upsets me. It is up to them what they do with it.The thing is...I have to give this person the benefit of doubt as they too are a shift-worker (just like myself) so I tend to be a little fair towards them and try to walk in their shoes plus I do like them as a person.If this behavior continues, I will have to put a stop to it, as it is starting to do my head in and I can't deal with that - I like my head space in a good place not all over the place due to one persons behavior...Their behavior is beyond my control.Foxy Maybe you shouldn't get your hopes up when you insinuate that something casual is wanted but expect/ want much much more.Cu-dos to those who actually are genuine in their profile rather than flakes of of online.Think a lot of members are just living a lie on the site in terms of having their profile as their alter ego rather than actual genuine.
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
DL.... sorry mate... but you were wrong, and cannot accept the criticism earned.Creating a topic solely for the purpose of soliciting the kind of negative responses it rightly deserved, projecting your own history of Aspergers upon others as an excuse for making sweeping comments on others, such as "time wasters, flakes, no shows, scammers, gold diggers, hypocrites, liars, cheats, drug addicts and disease carriers",..... ...and then seeking to justifying such comments based around enduring your own personal relationship circumstances...... says a lot about character.However.... I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Your genuine and kind words are always noted. :-) Foxy
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discreet_liasons
12 years ago
DG every day is a good day for me, I make no complaint about my situation because as far as I'm concerned I'm blessed to have those people in my life regardless of the difficulties. The point I was making is that one errant or flippant remark seems to be all the excuse the forum nazis need to go on the attack and question the behavior and even the morality of the person posting. I make no apologies, I say what I mean and mean what I say and I don't give a rats bum if it makes me unpopular or offends. The majority of people here don't know me from Adam and look at the assumptions made about character over a deliberate flippant remark and now you come charging in on your white horse thinking I'm disadvantaged or complaining about my life situation or something of the sort. Well mate it was nothing of the sort, I've been seeing more and more seemingly nice guys making small errors in articulating their message in forums getting their nuts boiled by the mafia so I thought I'd piss on their patch and see who ran to the gate barking. I think I'm well qualified as an amateur to identify the mentally unstable and I do see them here, control freaks, OCD sufferers, jealousy of stellar proportions, paranoia and my favourite among some of the elite mafia, narcissism. I don't have aspergers by the way, someone very close to me since childhood does. So rant away, people will continue to argue against me and others will inbox me with a pat on the back and some women will message me keen to meet up. Well how about they hey, I'll continue to have a social and sex life despite the scorn and derision of a bunch of middle aged school girls on a sex site. Got to love Australia!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have changed my mind due to the fact I have noted you keep quoting my posts on different forum Topics.... I like reading your posts, however the derogatory remarks are not necessary nor is it a mature way to gain ones attention. I kindly ask that you STOP quoting anymore of my posts I make, or have made, as they are not directed at you as a person.. Now back on Topic with this Forum...FOXY PS-I rather like my profile, it my not be for everyone. :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think I have answered you question as to why a person can change their mind...After much thought one can easily, especially when their is a repeative behaviour that is unacceptable. One would hope that if a person is blocked weeks ago for their derogerity comments, that they can no longer see ones profile only comments in the forums..but yet are able to make reference to it within the last 24hrs??? Its certainly not fair sometimes how the game is played.... Chin up, Life does goes on.... FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think I have answered you question as to why a person can change their mind...After much thought one can easily, especially when their is a repeative behaviour that is unacceptable. One would hope that if a person is blocked weeks ago for their derogerity comments, that they can no longer see ones profile only comments in the forums..but yet are able to make reference to it within the last 24hrs??? Its certainly not fair sometimes how the game is played.... Chin up, Life does goes on.... FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFox' I have changed my mind due to the fact I have noted you keep quoting my posts on different forum Topics.... I like reading your posts, however the derogatory remarks are not necessary nor is it a mature way to gain ones attention. I kindly ask that you STOP quoting anymore of my posts I make, or have made, as they are not directed at you as a person.. Now back on Topic with this Forum...FOXY PS-I rather like my profile, it my not be for everyone. :-) Quoted you maybe twice... if one does not like their comments to be quotes against then dont make them?I only referenced your comment about and it was only the first sentence.. the rest is directed to who knows how many and voice up to those who are silent but possible agreement.I'll BE SURE NOT TO QUOTE YOU FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Don't really exist, unless you are the proud owner of expectations that a particular outcome will come to fruition.....- Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
12 years ago
Well learned, Mr Lurk...DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'sirlurkalot' Don't really exist, unless you are the proud owner of expectations that a particular outcome will come to fruition.....- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
ALL THE FCKN TIME.... When I was into AMWAY!!
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