RHP

RHP User

M48

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)

April 04 2013

There was an article in the newspapers a few days ago. It was regarding Hedley Galt. She was someone who is addicted to love. Some definitions from the article:sex addiction is "a compulsive pattern of pursuing sexual arousal independent of emotional attachments".Love addiction is "a compulsive, chronic craving and/or pursuit of romantic love in an effort to get our sense of security and worth from another person. During infatuation we believe we have that security only to be disappointed and empty again once the intensity fades. The negative consequences can be severe and yet the love addict continues to hang on to the belief that true love with fix everything."It reminds me of a few forum posts by members. It seems Ms Galt would get into unhealthy relationships just because she wanted to be in love. Have you been/are in a similar situation? I want to be in love but haven't had that feeling yet. I don't think I measure my worth in terms of my partner though. I am comfortable being me, in some cases a bit too comfortable. What are your thoughts on this topic?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    and yes I am a sex addict

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    because it sure aint love.I think many people are addicted to the thrill of the new.The dizzy rush of chemicals to the brain and every other where .We also project onto the other ,we transform them into Prince Charming or Princess Fewclothes,and then reality sets in and so does disillusionment ,,phttt we are on to the next one. When we are unhappy wiith our lives,with who we are we often expect that if only we could find 'the one'' we will be whole again and happy. As you know zu the only one that can makes us happy is the one who gazes back at us in our morning mirror. Finding someone to love and to love us for who we actually are ,is a whole other thing.Some of us will find it,some of us never will,but every relationship we have,including family ,friends and lovers, can only ever enhance the one we have with ourselves. Still,the search for that illusive person can bring us lots of pleasure,and the process of auditioning for the lead can be lots of fun.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    That some people on here would fit either of those definitions. One person springs to mind who is 'in love' with a different person each week, lol. I avoid falling in love like the plague myself! I feel like I have a healthy perspective on my sex life. It's certainly not affecting the rest of my life... My forum addiction however... Is another story!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Great topic OP :)I've never been in Love nor know what it feels like - so I would not have a clue - It actually scares the entire crap out of me!!I actually posted a Forum Topic about "The Feeling of Love" still have not found answers for that yet or know exactly what it feels like..I am guessing it is different for everyone - I imagine it would be a very HEALTHY relationship??When I left my marriage...I made a commitment to get to know myself, love myself, honor and respect myself before anyone else, that to me is important for future "HEALTHY" relationships.. I actually got a tattoo on the back of my neck (an of an infinity symbol with the words "Love" embossed) to honor and respect my self for infinity...will never be co-depend on anyone again - very very unhealthy.To answer your question...I could NEVER enter into an "UNHEALTHY" relationship just to be in Love.FOXY

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Keeps popping in my head now.Your lights are on, but you're not home Your mind is not your own Your heart sweats, your body shakes Another kiss is what it takes You can't sleep, you can't eat There's no doubt, you're in deep Your throat is tight, you can't breathe Another kiss is all you need Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love You see the signs, but you can't read You're runnin' at a different speed Your heart beats in double time Another kiss and you'll be mine, a one track mind You can't be saved Oblivion is all you crave If there's some left for you You don't mind if you do Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love Might as well face it, you're addicted to love Might as well face it, you're addicted to love Might as well face it, you're addicted to love Might as well face it, you're addicted to love Might as well face it, you're addicted to love

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Thanks for the comment Freya. Yes, at the end of the day, we all need to live with ourselves. Alas, the actress I am looking for the leading role has not turned up. In the article, I think Ms Galt's issues are not so much she wants someone new but rather she wants to be in a relationship no matter the cost, She mentioned that she knows, deep down the relationship she was in was toxic. However, she also wants to be in a relationship and would rather be in a toxic relationship than be single. I actually went out with someone like that. Once the relationship is over, she needs to be in another one as if she cannot be alone. She did have some insecurities. I agree Awesome, the forums are addictive. Perhaps we need Forums Anonymous. Of course, we could always disable the network connection.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I couldn't agree more. I know of several people like that. They have love on such a high pedestal that they constantly have their "heart broken" but really it's more to do with them having such high expectations than anything else. As for sex addiction, well I think it'd be safe to say a large proportion of RHP is as addicted as each other, there are plenty of worse things to be addicted to.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Awesome71'That some people on here would fit either of those definitions. One person springs to mind who is 'in love' with a different person each week, lol. I avoid falling in love like the plague myself! I feel like I have a healthy perspective on my sex life. It's certainly not affecting the rest of my life... My forum addiction however... Is another story! bloody forums

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Im definitely a love addict......   Give me love over hate, anger, bitterness, nastiness, jealousy, pettiness, sniping and every other negativity imaginable....Id rather my heart was full of the positive than the negative......I pity those who hang onto the those feelings..but we all make choices and who am I to judge how people choose to be...   My heart is full of love at present..I am blessed with so many lovely people in my life ..friends and lovers...people that care - that walk their talk and are beautiful souls...every single person in my life fulfills a need be it love, friendship or sex...   Addicted..so what ? who cares...?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    The definition of addiction: The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. Hmm...the forum is addictive but not an addiction. I can function quite well without it.Love is an admirable emotion to have Shinas. Keep the love going. Glad you are happy again.

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    12 years ago

    same same ..right

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'inspirit' same same ..right I have one. Want to find out

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'inspirit'same same ..rightbut make that cocks

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    and I am a forum tragic

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    LOL I love my addictive attraction to elegant cocks with substance...*raises hands* .....My name is FOXY :-)- Posted from rhpmobile

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'zu7bcv' Quoting 'inspirit' same same ..right I have one. Want to find out Advertising on the Forums..Shame on YOU!

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    12 years ago

    ..and I suffer from multiple addictive personality disorder.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'inspirit' Quoting 'zu7bcv' Quoting 'inspirit' same same ..right I have one. Want to find out Advertising on the Forums..Shame on YOU! What can I say. I am shameless. Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    It is getting a bit off topic. Partly my fault. It seems that there are people who have to be in love, even if they say they are not. As I mentioned, I went out with a woman who goes from one relationship to another very quickly. They have to be with someone, even if that person is not good for them. Then they move on, some stay because they can't be alone. How much of a problem is it? Is it just a few people? I know there is alot of embarrassment and shame with addiction. That is why it is difficult for people to own up to them. I haven't been in love so can't say I am addicted to it. I think I want it.What about sex addiction? I like that too but don't think I am addicted to it. Haha...how do you say it. I have a dick, I am not a dick. Are love or relationships something that is forced by others onto us?

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    12 years ago

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwieeee. Not my cup of darl-jeerling at the moment I do like a robust bushels these days.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I would hope not...we have free will....we choose our happiness and our pain.....   Situations do occur in our lives that we may not have control over but how we react is completely our choice

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I think people who are "Relationship Jumpers" have no idea what its like to be by themselves......it was a really scary thought I had prior leaving my husband...We were together more than 1/2 my life...co-depend on each other...I had never really known myself, as I always had him there. ..I remember coming home after returning from my mothers after a week and went "F*ck what do I do???" It has to be the scariest, dark times I had ever had...then one day I woke up, looked in the mirror and went "Hey I like you, infact I am glad I got to know you"....6 yrs later; now it doesn't worry me as I know myself, know my limits.....Its not that scary..So you see OP I guess what I am saying is some people can't do that as it takes personal inner strength and courage...For some people (both sexes) its too overwhelming, they can't emotionally handle that, so they seek love from others to be with....If they find someone they hang on to that they Love....Is it a bad thing??? I don't know...only if its unhealthy, abusive and Toxic I guess it would be......FOXY- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Im not addicted to sex.. I am however addicted to the game that leads to sex. The boy/girl thing, the flirting , the breaking down of defences , the knowing that sex is inevitable even though its not yet spoken.. I'm not addicted to love because that's not what I want.. befriend me, have your fun with me, trust me... but plz don't get your claws in me... Doesn't mean I'm not into you, just means I'm happy being us and nothing else...

  • wannabyummymummy

    wannabyummymummy

    12 years ago

    is for quitters and i am certainly not the quitting kind, i will happily have my sex addiction thank you very much

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    And I am addicted to lust. Slurp!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'dacougarbitch' And I am addicted to lust. Slurp! Has that caused problems or is an issue? Is the article in the Age making a big deal our of something that is normal?