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RHP

RHP User

M41

Sexting, S(&)MS, Fingering Digits etc.

December 04 2012

So here's something I never thought I'd be into. Over the past few months I've really taken a shining to sexting a lovely lover friend of mine. I've always had a really distracting tendency to turn every comment I read and hear into innuendo and/or a sex pun, so in reality it was a natural fit (speaking of 'natural fits'...) Of course, there are other times I've discovered that, while wordplay is foreplay, sometimes the situation calls for skipping the coy suggestions and getting straight to the explicit, gritty, filthy point... At the very least, it''s made me put a key lock on my mobile for the first time!So I propose we play a game of "show us yer texts!" The rules? Post up a sexting round you've played. It can be hilarious, filthy, bizarre etc. - hell, you could make it up for all we know!No identifying features, simple him/her, her/her, him/him/her etc. Try and keep it to a maximum of five texts, and five responses.I'll kick us off with a playful one.***HIM: I was thinking of writing a Validation for you: "I certify that I have met the user XXXXXXX and that she is a real person."HIM: Sexy, no?HER: Hot!HER: You could say: "She certainly felt real, spitroasted between myself and that other guy."HIM: ...HIM: Nah uh. You were unreal...

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Lol... Now that would be telling.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' Lol... Now that would be telling. Didn't pick the infamous Meeka for the shy type?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    ya wan me 2 send a pic? ok so wot u think? hmm a bit small wot ya mean small? well I wasn't expecting you to send me a photo of your thumb tom

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    So what are you after exactly? Real texts? Something funny... Or super dirty?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Suuuuuper dirty would be a good start.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Btw, don't think I didn't notice you are very sneaky!! You think you can convince me you are not a virgin huh? Very smooth... or is it even real? Mmm now you are just confusing me. Your game is a little hard, but I am the queen of dirty texting it's true. Okay he is an abridged version:Her: Talk about mojo yours is kicking my buttMe: Well you could send me a little video of yourself which would help me with my frustration problem..Next dayMe: I am still wet this morning picturing you lying back with you legs spread open. Fuck that was so hot! All I could think about was how I wanted to slide my tongue deep inside... Want you to come in my mouth, have your juices running into my mouth. God! ...Take about pussy twinge mine is humming... As I sit on the bus on the way to work. I better stop before I start moaning! Her: Love it! You dirty bitch. ..Later on... Me: OMG I am so embarrassed. Don't know what came over me!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Me: Do you think if I had my tongue inside you when you came would I feel the contractions and rush of cum on my tongue. Oh fuck wet again!I am not putting anymore... they just get naughtier. Someone else say something and save my embarrassment. hehehehe

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    va va voom

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Me: did you like the picture of my tits?   other person: yea why did you send me that picture   me: cause you ask me silly   other person: well lucky for you , y our eye appointment with me is next week, I sent you a text to remind you.   me: sorry about that, please do not remind me of it when I come to my appointment there is a bus leaving in ten munites, I feel like I should be under it right now. or at least a big hole in the ground would do.   If your like me, mrs MagOO then sexting is not a good idea at all. Plus I cant lock my phone. I have done that more than once , sent a text to the wrong person.   especially when you have a few comming at you hot and fast, they you get em mixed up.   and as for this little love fest that is going on here,let me tell you folks its much hotter in real life.   You women are both sex on a stick and neptune is the thinking womans crumpet.   I have to fan myself just thinking of those naughty girls and   I kiss and tell, why not if a lover is hot as hell and I tell my girlfriends then they will want some of that as well   kinda like a when Harry met Sally moment.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    more like when Harry met Sally,then Sally met Dick and then Sally met Jane,they all really licked oops meant liked Sally

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    RHP really need to invest in a delete button. Why will I never learn to shut up!！(◎_◎)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    On our way to a playdate to what I thought was going to be a lovely spot (he knows I love my hotel suites...)   HIM (6.32pm): I got water views for you (I'm thinking - *aawwww thats sweet and now I'm really horny - must get plastic covers for my seat*)   ME (upon my arrival): I hope you didn't pay for water views because there aren't any... but I'll make some for you... Door's unlocked, I'm naked ...   ME (8.53am next day): Thank you for my bruises :-) How's your blood blister (*on his cock*)   HIM: sore.   ME: Sore? Poor baby. Lucky I didn't let you have it this morning then ... That will teach you that you can't shove your cock up my butt until the area is completely ready, and we're not in a trailer park without a glass of wine. ;-P   I'm brutal ...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Him: I have the day off today so I went out and got drunk last night. Just woke up hungover and horny and wanted to let you know I'm stroking my big hard cock right now thinking about you. Him: (Picture) Here is photographic evidence... X Me: Love it! Me: (Picture) I got bent over the kitchen sink this morning, while trying to do the washing up. Him: Beautiful. I can't wait to have my wicked way with you.     And Meeka, no more outing. You do NOT know this one! (But you should wish you did...)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Whereas I am not getting any new roots... I suppose I should go read the 50 unread messages I have in my inbox. Truly I can't be bothered. Oops am I bad :(

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' Goodness Ms_D you are like a kid in a candy store! Hehe, that reminds me of Tuscan. I am indeed sampling all the sweet things on display!   *Sucks innocently on an Allen's snake*

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Okay that was a lie, it's 59 messages. Why do I do this. Now I go through them in one go and I barely read any of them .. I don't think this Internet dating thing is for me.

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  • avidmale

    avidmale

    12 years ago

    Her: I dont like ballsMe: didnt stop you from sucking mineHer: I aim to please, next time i wontMe: Unfair, ill accendentally cum on your mouthHer: And ill swallow it, no biggieMe: Give me something to do besides not sleepHer: I dunno, pull yourself or somethingMe: Or, I could just come around and lick you outHer: I just got a tingle

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    goodness Ms D,what fun

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  • WHY_NOT_LOOK

    WHY_NOT_LOOK

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' RHP really need to invest in a delete button. Why will I never learn to shut up!！(◎_◎) I so want to post but your keeping it real and i know ill regret it as well

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    From a very statuesque beach blonde non RHPer who wandered into my web over the weekend....her texts to me below... Her: Oh really?? Interesting. My mind has been wandering all over the place to be honest... Me: Hahaha well that's wonderful ;) Naughty thoughts? Her: Very... Including 1. Wanting u back in the shower behind me 2. You grabbing the bed head;) 3. Purchasing waterproof sheets.... Her: Btw... Just cancelled another date ;) No mango required ;)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Him: When are you coming to pick up your cd?Her: Have you found it?Him: Yeah it'll cost you a fuck on my kitchen chair to get it backHer: That's blackmailShe did get the cd back (although it turned out to be the wrong one so no doubt more chair fucking will be required).

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    But hawt!! yes, I too have discovered I love a bit of dirty, flirty sexting. Only AFTER I've met someone (ok, with one exception) but woah, it gets me going. I'm a bit careful to make sure the first line isn't totally obscene, just in case it comes up as a preview. Have also had to lock my phone for the first time .

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    not sharing ours....as they are truly personal and private. we have a continual back and fro happening...and know exactly what to say, and when....for maximum effect...lol.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    *looking through text messages on phone*Ummmm the best kept secret is the one that's never told!!!!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    Him: Gonna love cumming up into you Bring lube just in case You need arse fucking Me: You going to play before then because Im hungry   Him: No Ill be fully loaded

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