F53

Sexual compatibility

March 01 2018

Obviously is pretty important within the realms of a short term relationship and definitely long term. One offs not so much because the time does not need to be invested there. I am older and it is presumed that because I am I should have way more experience than I do. In the last 10 years I have definitely branched out so to speak but I am willing to experience more and am very open to try and do more things. My only desire is to explore my sexuality rather than cater to the whims of someone who only wants to do what they want and me be subservient to them. I have discovered I have a very long way to go. We all our own individual sexual experiences to bring to the table. It is hard to break out of the habits we have developed over time. My frustration lies in the fact that I want spontaneity, I don't want to have to make suggestions all the time, I want to be told what to do sometimes or just go with the flow and see what happens and explore and experience all that physical intimacy has to offer. The younger guys seem to have so much more experience and have a very different view of sex. Some anyway. I don't want to be bored or want my partner to be bored either. It's about evolving and communication and so much more than just the physical act. It is just as important to me as any other part of the relationship. How do I get over a sexual stalemate though?If everything else is good and I am satisfied but feel I am not doing the same for my partner?? How do you guys deal with this??

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EarthQueen

7 years ago

I guess there’s no other way than learn what you like together and communicate. It’s just about finding what you are both comfortable with and boundaries. It’s also up to him to let you know as well but not put pressure on if you aren’t ready or into some things. Not sure if I’m answering your question? Sorry it’s a bit hard to understand? If you want spontaneouty maybe initiate? Although if he wants you to be more sub that might not appeal to him? Text each other your fantasies if it’s hard to do face to face? Sorry I don’t think I’m much help here 🤔 Interesting topic - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

Thank you. Any input is good input. We talk and communicate a lot about what you have said. I am open and willing, Happy to initiate, have and do. When someone says they have done everything already and used to be told what to do by their previous partners I think they have been conditioned somewhat into that way of thinking. Almost Sub.?? Or words to the effect just a sexual toy. I found that confronting as I have never thought of anyone that way. I never will. I get separation from non emotional casual sex, I can do that. Its so much a 2 way street for me. I don't believe in the I did this for you so now you owe me this.......BJ on your Birthday and that's it........Sex 1 day a week on a certain day or time......blah blah blah. You do this now when I want with total disregard to the other persons needs. I know this happens but I have never been this way. You may think you have "been there done that" but is it not about the person you are with that makes it exciting or different not the act itself. The intimacy, the mental connection, having a giggle when things go wrong etc??

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madotara69

7 years ago

First, sometimes Tara thinks i'm thinking something, I think she's thinking something and when we come together on it, both things we were thinking had nothing to do with anything either of us were actually thinking. Laugh or cry about it, it did bring our imaginations together and off we went in a totally different direction with thoughts and ideas, spontaneity had us on the www. looking and bammm. Tara's found a new thing for penis massage, tying them up with cords, wrapping the balls, she was delighted to see giving a cock a fair slap from side to side we recognised and she has been doing quite well, she has also been having a bit of a thrill tying us guys balls to our cocks, but separating each ball in the fancy twirling of the cord and to her disappointment, all we found at the time was just wrapping the sack behind both balls, she liked the whacking like a speed ball lol, dramatised, then she saw the cord used by wrapping it tight, spiralling up the shaft, just below the head and twirling back around criss crossing to the base and was tickled pink, she liked it. We have threesomes with guys mostly, now and then she likes to pay a little something in care, so she uses me as a crash test dummy for some kinky mischievous idea, whether I land up in traction or hiding somewhere safe and sound, it's nice that she cares no matter, I love her unconditionally Maybe you are satisfying your partner and you both have something other on your minds, maybe try something crazy fun and adventurous, childish, chase it and when you both find it, you can both look to each other, hold hands, have a cuddle, a kiss, a reassuring look of having each other's back and jump together. Don't let anything steal away the kids at heart and playful nature, invincible but smarter. Mado Mado Tara xx

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RHP User

7 years ago

Being so new we don't have that much familiarity but getting there. Your posts make me laugh and Tara sounds amazing!! Hold on to that one. I love research. I love having fun with it all. I should run with building my confidence and just go for it. Ok I have a challenge. I like a challenge. Why the hell not??

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madotara69

7 years ago

You are hot

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EarthQueen

7 years ago

Quoting 'Msmidnightblu71' When someone says they have done everything already and used to be told what to do by their previous partners I think they have been conditioned somewhat into that way of thinking. Almost Sub.?? Or words to the effect just a sexual toy. You do this now when I want with total disregard to the other persons needs. I know this happens but I have never been this way. Just answering from my perspective if someone said that to me. Not judging your situation its just my take. I'm not really familiar with more intense sub/dom roles. I'm happy to be somewhat sub, I enjoy it and I would be more comfortable with that. Constantly having to direct is not my thing. That would get old to me real quick. I would find it a bit intimidating to be honest and then I would overthink and not get turned on. Too much pressure and too intense. But again some people would like that. It would be a turn on. Just not for me. I don't think I could switch either. It's not in me. Also being told "I have done everything", well maybe he has , but not with you. Like you mentioned each sexual experience is a new thing in itself right? Thats my way of thinking anyway, I'm with you. To me it sounds a bit uncaring and cold. A little bit hurtful to TBH. That would definitely hurt my feelings and leave me with a feeling of self doubt. I mean if someone tells you that, where do you go then? The part about the total disregard makes it sound quite mechanical? Again like you said sex should be fun and sexy not about pressure and preconceived expectations when you are with a regular partner. Sometimes its great. sometimes its a bit of a flop thats OK have a laugh and move on to next time. Try new stuff together, work out what turns you on. etc etc Its all about the give and take to me. It can't be one sided. Hope you find your happy place with it I'll shut up now xx

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RHP User

7 years ago

like you I want to enjoy sex and enjoy my partner and want him to enjoy me hence why I am a fwbs chick. Nothing urks me more then these guys that want to meet straight away thinking Im their piece of meat. Im far from that. FWB's is just that, be a friend first. Get to know eachother, know what eachother wants, know where the bounderies are. I didnt see men for 22 yrs and only started seeing them again 3 yrs ago, I have learnt so much since I started this and I use to be such a prude. The things I watch on video I though like wtf, never heard or seen this before lmfao. There is so much to me now and I love allowing myself to submit to my partner and take in & enjoy what he is doing to me. There are rules however that he must please me first as I have had some selfish ones when i first started doing this and NO MEN its not about sucking your cock and fucking you, there is two parties involved here and once you have done this to a male they are satisfied and relaxed and leave you to go home frustrated. I refuse anyone to do this to me after that shit. Men know they please me first or I get dressed. Its no skin off my nose. I dont feel alot of younger ones know more then me, most come to me because they want to learn and I hate being a "teacher" but have had to show them how to get me off, having said that it doesnt matter what age group they come from I have found I had to guide most as I dont cum easily yet most men that speak to me say "you must have had the wrong guys, and all the things they want to do to me" I said no not the wrong guys, most wont look at body language, stop what they are doing when I am close to cumming, if I squirt they think thats an orgasm when it isnt for me, its just a build up to the excitement of it. In this way when I get braggers wanting me I always reject them because they are the ones that have displeased me the most.

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RHP User

7 years ago

So very true and snippits of a very long conversation obviously. We are on the same page pretty much you and I and I agree a lot with what you are saying. He is a very intense thinker and questions everything in his head. I get that to a degree and that can be really hard to deal with in any context. As I mentioned his previous partners sounded selfish and controlling but that is what he is used to. Always 2 sides I guess. Self confidence is also an issue. It is weird that this guy is sexy as hell, has an amazing body, always turns me on, Is also one of the nicest guys and is so good in bed. But doesn't see himself that way. In majority of past relationships, he has been cheated on. I don't know him very well and it is a bit of a process getting to know him. But I like what I see and feel when we are together. I am not one to give up just because something is hard. Anyway time will tell Ms Blu

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RHP User

7 years ago

Thank you for you input. I always take this advice on board because it is outside what was "my normal experience". A lot of men any age miss the queues you are talking about and might say they have a lot of experience but some don't and that's OK. I think that is all part of really being intimate with someone. I must say I haven't really had the problem too much of being left unsatisfied on this journey. I get off on my partner getting off sometimes without anything else but that is just me. I have just as much fun exploring the male body because I have never really done that before. Ohh the fun still to be had!! Ms Blu

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RHP User

7 years ago

Quoting 'Msmidnightblu71' A lot of men any age miss the queues you are talking about and might say they have a lot of experience but some don't and that's OK. I think that is all part of really being intimate with someone. ......................True but experience or not, some feel because they can get alot off they can get all women off. We are all designed different and some of us are harder to find those spots hence why I love fwbs that you continue seeing. You can both explore eachothers bodies and know what eachother likes making this so much fun for both. Then you can also explore more and exciting things that you may never have tried before because you build a good trust with that person.

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RHP User

7 years ago

Totally agree.

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tamworthguy46

7 years ago

Sexual compatibility to me sort of seems to be on different levels from ordinary to awesome i suppose, personally not so much to do with experience, rather a willingness to loose yourself in the moment, every one has there routines that they work to that might be tried and tested to get their lover off, the same stuff can get old after a while.You say you feel satisfied, but you want to do more, that sounds nice to me, he is doing it for you so you want do please him.So variety always sparks things up a bit, so Take charge every now and then , Tie that fucker up or or something and let go on him, tie him up good though if going to if you really kinky with him lol. You could also try some surprise role play, go for a walk in your imagination. good luck on your journey

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LetsFrolic

7 years ago

Some people taste different. Like when you kiss them or do oral? Why do they smell different.. is this to do with compatibility? - Posted from rhpmobile

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