M44 F41

Shed 16 etiquette on Friday nights

August 12 2019

I must firstly say that we don't go there to swing, we go there because we want to have sex in a different environment and watch others and have others watch us. Due to this we keep the door open when we are having sex but a recent experience has left us a bit concerned about what is normal behaviour and what isn't. We always thought that leaving the door open meant that others could watch you from the door but it would be a bit rude to come in without asking. We also thought that just because the door is open, you can't just come in and start playing with a couple without asking. The door being open is not an invite to participate, well that's what we thought! Recently we went there and we went upstairs and left the door open as usual (because we love the thrill of being watched) and after a few minutes another couple walked in. We thought it was a bit rude to walk in without asking but anyway we continued with what we were doing. Gradually the male partner got closer and closer to me and was about to start touching when my partner told him to stop and that he was welcome to watch but he could not join in. The man then walked out but told us that if we leave the door open then we should expect others to walk in and participate. We then heard him talking to another man about how silly we were and they were making fun of us. This was the first time in a while we had been there and it did make us wonder if perhaps the crowd is not so great anymore but I must say when we went there prior to this, we never had issues, people would just watch from the door and occasionally ask if they could come in for a closer look. So the question I have is what is the normal etiquette in an environment like this? If you leave the door open should you expect people to walk in? Is this acceptable or were we just unlucky? It really ruined our night as we were having a great time prior to this, just relaxing in the spa and having drinks. It was a great way to unwind on a Friday night before it got spoiled by someone. I would love to hear from others about what they think of this. How many others go do Shed 16 for the thrill of being watched and watching others, but have no intention of actually swinging? And what experiences have you had with keeping the door open or closed? I am concerned that if we go back there and have a similar experience, my partner may become violent with other guys who get too close. I look forward to your replies. Thanks in advance.

Comments

DynamicCouple36

5 years ago

No means NO We went there twice. The demographic of the people there, given it attracts the Seaford / Frankston crowd, was rather pushy, disrespect and too feral for our liking. Whether the door was open or not, no still means no and so the male of the other couple was out of line. What they should have first asked, before entering the room, was if it was ok for them to join you. Poor etiquette on their part.

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AnnieWhichway

5 years ago

Don't think they have any. Not saying it's off the visiting list but be prepared for anything at the shed. However, the establishments I've been to, an open door is just that. An open door, ie go through it. Some places enforce an open door. My interpretation is that any one is free to enter and to watch. But not to touch without asking and normally as far back as the walls permit. Bit like the meerkats at the beach. They will get as close to you as physically possible without touching. And to complain about the word 'No' just highlights that there are a few Neanderthal down there that fuck it up for everyone else.

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FeistyFatty

5 years ago

Its not a room for your exclusive use. Why should they have to ask your permission to enter? You left the door open, so people can watch. I see no issue with people entering and watching and maybe being intimate with themselves if they feel obliged. The only issue I read in your OP was that they took a liberty and touched you without permission. You said no, they left.

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RHP User

5 years ago

Sorry to go a bit off topic. Wife and I are so keen to do exactly what you’re talking about. Play and have others watch. What sort of age groups attend these types of events in Melbourne? Is there any that are mostly 20s and 30s? TIA

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Sawadee

5 years ago

We're a Sydney based couple who have never visited a swingers club ' so im not talking from first hand experience. But after reading your post ' l think you have every right to visit the venue and play the way you want to play without anyone intruding. Yes ' if a couple asks and you agree to allow them access to the same room thats fine . You play they watch and they play and you watch but that shouldn't automatically mean open to touch ' but you do need to let them know your boundries. You cant expect them to know if you dont make it clear. Having said that , l like the way your comfortable playing together and being watched . This is something we'd like to try . All we need is to find a suitable venue in Sydney thats tolerant of first timers.. Maybe someone can point us in the right direction..

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RHP User

5 years ago

Public When you attend these places, keep in mind that you are in public, meaning; everyone will have different interpretation of what open door means. No means no, that’s a solid rule. Having said that I’ll agree with another comment that a public place is not ideally for exclusive use, that’s the bedroom of your house. To me, an open door means an open door, however, I’d not touch or violate another individual’s or couple’s space without consent, and that’s where you’ll have issues with people; an open door is a given consent for some. Also keep in mind that Shed is at Seaford. It attracts rather rough and disrespectful bunch of people as the suburb itself has a bad name. And don’t even get me started about Frankston. Which is just next door. I wouldn’t take my mrs there.

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megz85g

5 years ago

Keep the door shut if you don’t want others to come in.

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FeistyFatty

5 years ago

I've NEVER heard a positive comment about Shed... might be a good spot to avoid.

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MsJonesy

5 years ago

Which has a one way mirror. Use that room, with the door closed. Its actually a turn on not knowing who may be watching, hpw many people are out there. I've used that room many times, it is a lot of fun. If the door is open, people will come in. If they do, make your rules known straight away. Don't leave it until they are trying to enter play with you to do that, be confident and set your boundaries straight away. The fact you didn't may have made them assume you were okay with them playing with you. But they should have still asked.

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GoodKarma

5 years ago

Consent is sexy. The best experience I've had was at a place where everyone got a 5min briefing on what consent means before going inside. Consent needed to be a verbal yes. No means no, maybe means no, no response means no. Consent needed to be asked/ given at every step from just standing there watching to touching or getting involved. This was the best experience because it made people feel comfortable. This attracted more couples/females. So I agree with you that coming into the room and watching/playing with themself is still a sexual interaction with you and should have been asked.

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kirraboatie

5 years ago

Was going to be my comment..... I have seen people use the mirror room with the bench sitting around the side and the peep holes. My understanding and I have participated there is that if the door is open you are inviting others in (this goes for other places I have been as well - those that remember CI in Brisbane)…. That said consent before interacting is a must and no is no.

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WeMelT

5 years ago

I have to agree with FFF here. Open door, open shared space. Come in, have a look, play in the same space. Do not touch without permission. I would also say that an incident like that from one individual should not spoil your entire night. Shrug it off and move on. Also if you fear that your other half will get violent then the issue is with your other half... My 10c

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donnamick

5 years ago

Obviously, they didnt read the signs in the shed, pretty clear about what is expected.I may have expected that to happen on a Saturday night but even then we have noticed that in general the guys on that night have in general been quite respectful. We also love to be watched, so leave the door open, but make it clear to cpls, guys that come in that they are welcome to watch but need to ask to touch.Id suggest you use the two way mirror room with the door closed or if you have an open door, just make it clear to people that they are welcome to watch, not get involved.Most people in the swinging scene we have found to be very respectful and wonderful people, so dont let the few bad ones spoil your fun the way you like it.Cheers Michael

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Welikeitwo

5 years ago

Hi allWe (couple) dont think its acceptable for people to touch others without permission. If the door is open however, we would anticipate that people may enter the room.

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mike2im

5 years ago

Usually an open door does mean the room is considered an open room, and others can enter the room and either observe (quietly and respectfully) and even use the same bed and mattresses (assuming there sufficient space). The etiquette is to check with the existing occupants that it is ok to share the bed and mattresses. However that said, at some clubs this etiquette is not always observed. It should be. However, there is absolutely no excuse for physical interaction without seeking consent first and consent from both partners. That is non negotiable.

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just4fun48

5 years ago

My partner and I go to Friday nights there as love they open door policy or using open room as less pushy unlike the other nights. We love being watched , we haven’t had a issue yet with other couples trying to join in but we have joined In with others after being invited.

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Shed 16 etiquette on Friday nights

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