F58
Should there always be play at a swingers party?
December 08 2015
Comments
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Sadly so many people attend a swingers party or club , with a sense of entitlement and demand to get laid, especially if they have paid to get in. When they don't get what they want, many show their true colours and become all aggro. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Of course there always should be sex,after all ,he has paid for sex..oh hang on,it's not a brothel!!!..just another example of arrogant entitlement xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
An invite to a swingers party is an invite to meet people in the scene. We are open minded, sexually aware types who are comfortable in our sexuality(or on the journey to being so!) BUT! We are also humans and don't always feel the vibe or meet people that entice us, so we don't play. I think experienced swingers walk away not bothered, as we don't force ourselves to play simply for the fact we turned up. I can't speak for any one else, but I have been to many parties and not played and still had a fantastic time! I will admit though I have left parties due to the guys that force their sense of entitlement, sadly this is why they are rarely invited. There are many awesome respectful single guys "in the scene", and its a shame the rest don't do their homework first to understand the rules. What is worst is those that are in the scene and break the cardinal rule!
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RHP User
9 years ago
If anyone's idea of getting their money's worth is to have sex, they should go to a brothel. I wonder if this guy is the kinda person who flips the Monopoly board over when he doesn't win...
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
some places charge, be cheaper and more productive for him to go to a brothel.
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
So..... to this guy ... it shouldn't matter if people aren't feeling sexual?OR that they don't feel at all sexual towards him? But everyone should get down to it because he wants that. Riiiiiiiiiight. Twat.
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madotara69
9 years ago
'Desperado why don't you come to your senses ?' How can an eagle soar when he is surrounded by turkeys, bahahahaa Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Im sure the hosts would have explained that to him when he registered interest and also on arrival. But he probably didnt listen anyway, if he has that kind of sulky attitude.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Missed you guys around here. Nice to see you back
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quote OP "he wanted to be social he would go to a pub" Yep he had the completely wrong attitude and I bet he was a right stick in the mud not only making himself unattractive but also these types of attitudes affect the whole atmosphere. Though he is not entirely to blame, he had expectation garnered from endless porn and shared with his peers. It's not like we are taught what to expect, or how to behave. On the whole guys and girls who turn up for the first time have no clue what it is like. Where can you learn this, who gives you advice. Without some type of education this will be the ongoing situation. For the average person the swinging scene is just an ongoing orgy, little do they know If he wanted a social? stupid man the swinging scene is the best social scene there is, so much better than the pub, and now because he did not wet his whistle the pub is the all he knows to get.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have been to parties and lounges and not played on nights if either the mood didn't get me or I wasn't attracted to anyone. Sometimes I really just like the social side of open minded people. Miss B 💋 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Whateverway'The price some places charge, be cheaper and more productive for him to go to a brothel. Yes, $350 I've seen at the upper amount. Of course, this amount is purely entry only for the benefit of being able to meet people :p
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RHP User
9 years ago
put out....or get out!!! Lol :p Ok I'm out :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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QLDtwo4fun
9 years ago
What can you say, was there no action at the party or did he bring an attitude that killed the party.
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hotdelights
9 years ago
Just have singles partys for singles couples can get on with other couples nice cross section of conversation as couples do tend to mix together - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
yes yes, we know that cost of admission is just for admission and nothing more... but, would others be miffed if they paid an exorbitant amount to get into a swingers club and there was nobody there? "hi Mr Club Owner... there isn't anyone here, umm, can we get our money back and leave""sorry, but payment is ONLY for entry, nothing more""but there isn't anybody else here" "sorry, you paid for entry, this isn't a brothel, you can go wank by yourself if you'd like, have a great night, no refunds" Without seeing the full exchange and knowing the situation he was talking about I wouldn't want to really condemn the fellow. (as if we all haven't been to a normal party or a night out and left thinking "meh, waste of time" when it didn't live up to our expectations despite there being no guarantees of the aforementioned expectations being met) Perhaps it isn't the lack of sex that has upset him, perhaps he feels taken advantage of as a cash-cow for monetary gain? If they limit numbers of single guys to get a desirable mix, then what excuse exists for charging such a massive amount more for guys versus either couples or women? besides just trying to extract as much cash as the market will bare. (maybe it is just another "oh single guys are just arseholes, no wonder they're single" topic, but I think it's more interesting to wonder if there is more to it)
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have never been to a party or a club where playing was a pre requisite. Let's face it, nobody would go if that were the case. Although I have been to parties were attendees are expected to dress down to lingerie/underwear or even to be nude. Regardless if you are playing or watching or there just to socialise.
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JohnAnn2227
9 years ago
Unfortunately this guy is not on his own. We have come across guys that are at a swingers club as a couple and they have this same attitude. One night we were at a well-known swingers club in Sydney we met a couple and began chatting. While they were nice people to chat with I had no sexual attraction to either of them. He kept pressuring me to play and even got John on his own and asked him "What is up with Ann? I thought you guys said you were full swap. Talk to her or get her some more drinks as we can't wait all night!" As you can imagine John politely discussed the errors of his attitude and we moved on from them. This sort of scenario has happened a couple of times and does put a dampener on a night. We don't go to swing clubs to merely meet and fuck other people. We love the atmosphere, excitement and sensual behaviour that we can observe or exhibit without being thrown out of a bar. Also how many bars or nightclubs have spas that you can relax nude in?????Ann
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RHP User
9 years ago
In Victoria anyway, the average entry to a swinger's party for a single male is $100. Some are more, some are less. At last count (that is, as of now) I've been to 19 events with an entry fee, over a year, with 8 different hosts/organisers. Only once (and as it happened, the second event) did I not play to some degree. But the events I have paid for are advertised as "player's parties" or equivalent, not general swingers get-togethers. More correctly, the events requiring single men in attendance because the women (in couples) wish to play with more than one at a time. Obviously I agree that some financial amounts are required to cover time, energy and overhead costs in running an event. Over certain amounts though, combined with the numbers in attendance, it's a least partly about making a profit. Which I'm happy to accept (the same as any other good/service or formalised opportunity, such as speed dating), as long as the event is still properly managed. Meet & greets are free, not the least because the organisers run them out of the goodness of their heart, even though the effort and money they put in could justify at least a small token fee. It would be an interesting experiment though, to have an actual swinger's party with a flat entry rate per head (no pun intended).
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RHP User
9 years ago
its pushy rude men like him that make it harder for the rest of the single men to be exceptedinto parties.
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RHP User
9 years ago
is simply like an invite to one of these private parties ,,,i have no problem paying to attend and not find any intimacy there ,,,,id simply like the oppurtunity to attend so that i may meet some of the on the scene people ,,ive heard edvery excuse under the sun for not being invited to these parties ,,,from,,,,,,,,, we simply overlooked you ,,even tho id registered 3 times and been asked by the hosts to register ,,which i did ,,,id even spoken to the hosts in person regards there party then all of a sudden id been overlooked ,,other excuses were your pre op and havent got a vagina yet ,,,etc etc ,,seems the latest ploy is to use age as an excuse to not invite older people ,,,,yet at these parties youll always find people that are friends of the hosts etc ,,that are the same age as myself ,,,usually woman ,,that have been invited ,,,?????? sounds a bit bitter from myself i suppose ,,,,all im asking for is a fair go ,,,,the way things are for me on rhp ,,id have more chance of meeting some one if i joined the local knitting club ,,,,,
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RHP User
9 years ago
He paid $30 - this included soft drinks, finger foods and some shooters. Sounds like a bloody good deal to me!
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RHP User
9 years ago
all participants were charged $30, which is very fair when it included refreshments etc Quoting 'countrytouch' In Victoria anyway, the average entry to a swinger's party for a single male is $100. Some are more, some are less. At last count (that is, as of now) I've been to 19 events with an entry fee, over a year, with 8 different hosts/organisers. Only once (and as it happened, the second event) did I not play to some degree. But the events I have paid for are advertised as "player's parties" or equivalent, not general swingers get-togethers. More correctly, the events requiring single men in attendance because the women (in couples) wish to play with more than one at a time. Obviously I agree that some financial amounts are required to cover time, energy and overhead costs in running an event. Over certain amounts though, combined with the numbers in attendance, it's a least partly about making a profit. Which I'm happy to accept (the same as any other good/service or formalised opportunity, such as speed dating), as long as the event is still properly managed. Meet & greets are free, not the least because the organisers run them out of the goodness of their heart, even though the effort and money they put in could justify at least a small token fee. It would be an interesting experiment though, to have an actual swinger's party with a flat entry rate per head (no pun intended).
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sahzpete
9 years ago
My wife and I have been to a few parties and now have started hosting our own parties from time to time, and if we invite a single male friend it is made very clear to him the rules at first, NO means NO and the Ladies rule they are the Queens on the night and us men just the page boys and that’s the way it should be.You chat to them and you soon get the vibe if they are interested or not and if not then you should not be offended as the lady needs to be attracted to the man she is about to jump into bed with, and just because she is at a swingers party does not mean she will play and this is the case with my wife the last 2 parties she did not play but had a great night socializing and just watching the naked people in the pool or spa, we have noticed some couple come to watch but only play with there own partners and not with others, and that ok as that’s there thing, ever one wants and gets different things from parties.Some use parties to meet nice couple or single to play later and lots like to play on the night, but that’s what it is about like minded people meeting with out judgment, and that’s why not many single men get invited.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I disagree with the statement that was made about swingers events being for couples. I hope not. Yes in some circles and events couples can dominate the scene. But I like a mix. I don't play with couples or women. I like those women that can allow their men to play alone. I have been lucky to play at every event I have attended. I guess if I was that guy who went and did not get to play and explore I would feel pretty crap by the end of the night. I think more people could play if they were a bit more open minded and made the effort to get to know the new people and made them feel welcome.
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RHP User
9 years ago
does it truly make it harder for genuine men; or does it simply give you the added advantage of knowing where the hurdles are going to be?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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sahzpete
9 years ago
To Glen53 I think if you are respectful and not pushy and give the lady time to see you are also interested in them and not just to drag them off to bed then you will get a reputation as a nice guy and the you will get reinvited to parties. There is a couple of Ozzie ladies called Mercury and Diamond on you tube that are very good and talk about sex and give advice from the ladies point of view , it worth a look worth.
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Aristippusx2
9 years ago
Agree with willow, where have you guys been? As a country lad I missed the pictures of your ride on lawn mower! Lol
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've lost count of the number of times I've been to swingers parties and not had sex. I revel in the social side and have got so caught up in great conversation and company I've completely forgotten about the sex. This "I paid to fuck" attitude tells me that they were a bad choice as a single guy. Women may be at a swingers party but that doesn't mean they are just going to open their legs on request. Wanting to feel used and/or objectified as a cum receptical is a fetish not a condition of entry. Women still like to be wooed and seduced even in a sexually free environment.
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RHP User
9 years ago
so... having read the exchange, I think bashing this guy was completely unwarranted. Based on what he said, he wasn't trying to force play, his gripe was that he expected it to be a play party, not a social event - so a waste of time since it didn't match what he was looking for at all. IMO he didn't display any sense of entitlement to play or that he'd paid so should get laid, it could be summed up as "I thought it was a play party, if I'd known it was just a social event I would've stayed at home". mountain out a molehill IMO
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RHP User
9 years ago
I must have left me goggles at home when I read the OP..I think that the poor bennighted possum's profile name is Sulkalot 😚xxFreya
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madotara69
9 years ago
Quoting 'Aristippusx2' Agree with willow, where have you guys been? As a country lad I missed the pictures of your ride on lawn mower! Lol You know.. it's so much easier organising blokes for a bit of naughty stuff than Unicorns !!! Especially getting all together for a bit of a party and we've been having a few of those lately, back in town and all but shit happens unexpected or time gets away and sex doesn't always come to fruitfulness, however it's an ongoing work in progress, but you gotta be there when things get hot and sticky, it's all part and parcel with the lifestyle in our humble opinion. Ok mower back up just for you guys Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
I might be the odd man out , but if I don't have some sort of attraction , it won't happen. If I were the single man at a swingers club and I left without having sex I might be disappointed but never devistated... I'd figure it wasn't to be... But that's looking on as someone who has never been to a swingers club before.. No way would I pay $350 to enter a swingers club, even $100 is a rort.. A fool and his money are easily separated when it comes to a promise of sex and the organisers know that. This is the very thing that has held me back even though its a must do thing on my bucket list.. One day I'll get serious and find a lady wanting to cure that curiosity the same... Until then... ?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I disagree with you. I read the ad over and over. At no point in the ad did the couple even suggest there would be 'play' and it seemed pretty clear to me it was intended to be a "fun night". They restricted single men to three, so he was really lucky to be one of them. I think my original question was pretty valid, imho - not just about this particular guy, but swingers parties in general. Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' so... having read the exchange, I think bashing this guy was completely unwarranted. Based on what he said, he wasn't trying to force play, his gripe was that he expected it to be a play party, not a social event - so a waste of time since it didn't match what he was looking for at all. IMO he didn't display any sense of entitlement to play or that he'd paid so should get laid, it could be summed up as "I thought it was a play party, if I'd known it was just a social event I would've stayed at home". mountain out a molehill IMO
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'freogirl66' I disagree with you. I read the ad over and over. At no point in the ad did the couple even suggest there would be 'play' and it seemed pretty clear to me it was intended to be a "fun night". They restricted single men to three, so he was really lucky to be one of them. I think my original question was pretty valid, imho - not just about this particular guy, but swingers parties in general. Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' so... having read the exchange, I think bashing this guy was completely unwarranted. Based on what he said, he wasn't trying to force play, his gripe was that he expected it to be a play party, not a social event - so a waste of time since it didn't match what he was looking for at all. IMO he didn't display any sense of entitlement to play or that he'd paid so should get laid, it could be summed up as "I thought it was a play party, if I'd known it was just a social event I would've stayed at home". mountain out a molehill IMO Call me crazy but if it was just a social event, why was the number of guys limited to three? That alone makes it sound like a play event.
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Aristippusx2
9 years ago
And it's the black one 😆
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inspirit
9 years ago
Was he adonis? Obviosly not Rest my point lol. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'freogirl66' I disagree with you. I read the ad over and over. At no point in the ad did the couple even suggest there would be 'play' and it seemed pretty clear to me it was intended to be a "fun night". They restricted single men to three, so he was really lucky to be one of them. I think my original question was pretty valid, imho - not just about this particular guy, but swingers parties in general. what ad? what was the event? I hadn't seen that posted anywhere. I wish you would have just posted all the relevant information, instead of gradually drip feeding little tidbits. e.g. $30 pricing for all is a substantial change to how many clubs and events run. How is anyone meant to make a relevant and meaningful comment without any information to give the situation context. What was your original question? The OP was all statements.
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Bazingal
9 years ago
I have been to parties and not found anyone I was interested in playing with. So I didn't. Happy to chat though and had a great time anyway. Kicking myself I didn't play at the first party I went to, soooo many sexy people there, but I was too shy..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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MnauMnau
9 years ago
Hi all, Firs time on forum, have patience with me. Nice and educational reading about "play" and parties. Now I know what to expect and what not ;) Thanks a lot. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Welcome to the forums xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'MnauMnau' Hi all, Firs time on forum, have patience with me. Nice and educational reading about "play" and parties. Now I know what to expect and what not ;) Thanks a lot. - Posted from rhpmobile Always attend not expecting anything. Try to be happy with just being able to talk to some new people, even if you're paying for the privilege. Actually that goes for anything in life. Don't expect much and you'll never be disappointed. Play party or not, women/couples will see right through you, so you have to be honestly genuine and communicative, wanting to actually get to know them. Most of the time there's socialising first, so make as much small talk as possible. Even if you come across as shy and nervous, that is a better look than cocky or pushy. And when it comes to play, always err on the side of caution. While some view light touching as a method of asking, I prefer to ask before everything, sometimes I will even ask to watch if it's not obvious that it's ok. In my experience, the fact that you have asked, will mean the answer is more likely to be a yes.
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Casual01
9 years ago
Ok Iv all ways wanted to go to a swingers party. Just to see what's it like or about. So my question is how do you get invited to one..coz I'm keen as lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Honestly I'd look at it the same as being invited to 'hang out' at someone of the other sex's place - sure sex might happen, but there's no obligation for it to and to insist on it is kind of a dickish thing to do.
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RHP User
9 years ago
S your new profile pic is ..... Absofuckinglutely sizzling. (Wiping off the drool on my phone)... As you were everyone
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'sam690000000' Ok Iv all ways wanted to go to a swingers party. Just to see what's it like or about. So my question is how do you get invited to one..coz I'm keen as lol - Posted from rhpmobile Check out the events section, but remember, it's not like you are going to walk in and everyone is going for it with everyone else. I've seen that on occasion, but it's very rare. So if you go to one, go with the idea, you intend on meeting new people and if you get to play with anyone, then it's a bonus. Most parties are not strictly play parties where that is the expectation.
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Casual01
9 years ago
@rebeccaB16 yea i know. I would be happy just to meet new people and have a laugh. It wouldn't bother me if I didn't get lucky. Just kind of want to see what the fuss is about. But thanks for the tip 👌🏻 - Posted from rhpmobile
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Missb4u
9 years ago
Willow I concur. Was checking that pic out myself this morning... HOT
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RHP User
9 years ago
I been to Diversions quite a few times and had sex there once, AFTER meeting a very nice couple who wanted to play. So we did. It's not always about getting your end wet
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RHP User
9 years ago
I totaly understand all the comments and this attitude may be because single guys get charged $80-$100 if every person who enters a party or club gets charged the same like $25 per head .sorry the pun it might change attitudes - Posted from rhpmobile
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abcplus1
9 years ago
Thought about it, but never had opportunity or motive or perhaps even a host to lead us. But in saying that, we have considered going to an event more to be open minded watchers and voyeurs than likely participants. Guess that would mean we would be off his Christmas card list also 😆
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RHP User
9 years ago
I get asked that question a lot by guys, and the key thing is respect. All of the above comments are correct, if you assume all swingers parties involve mass orgies and that's why you want to go, you are not the type of male we want. I'd suggest going to meet and greets that are open to all, make yourself known as a respectful person and you may earn an invite to a play party!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'unicorn99' I'd suggest going to meet and greets that are open to all, make yourself known as a respectful person and you may earn an invite to a play party! Unfortunately, one of the problems with those charging $100 or more, is that aren't always as selective as they should be with who (the men) they invite, because they are in part focused on the money. So sometimes it's not a case of "earning an invite", more so just putting up the cash. As long as I'm somewhat talkative on the phone, I've always got an invite. But these are all players parties, and advertised as such. But while it causes issues with selection, these events remain quite appropriate for me, as they don't mind that I'll be travelling in, while other more selective events I'd prefer to go to have taken an issue with that, as they've told me they find more distant travellers unreliable.
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team_Pringle
9 years ago
Nah we agree that if we commit to attend without knowing all present..... We have taken a chance and do our best to play with everyone ..... People must plan to attend these events... Female cycles, nights off work, baby sitters ..... A lot of variables to juggle ..... No reasonable entity should be denied at any event. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
You plan to play with everyone? Really? I have been at events with up to 100 people there! You can't possibly say you would play with all of them! I don't do the sympathy sex thing... If it was difficult for someone to attend. Well, that's not really my problem. Is it?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I would not attend an event if I was expected to spread my legs for every man there. No way.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Ummmmmmmmm.... It's better to call him and bang on, rather then debating..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
But I can remember going one night and having a cracking time with the people there and didn't bother me that I didn't get any and I would go back and do it again - Posted from rhpmobile
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