Show me the way

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  given your age and experience - safety first: define your limits and discuss them, as well as expectations with prospective dom in advance, agree upon a safe word, sight unseen meetups are best avoided.do not mistake disrespectful rudeness for strength of character, or abusive cruelty for dominance. take things guys say with a grain of salt - in general a 22 year old 'dominate master with years of experience and a friend who has a dungeon' likely speaks of Dungeons & Dragons, his experience gained while single-handedly surfing free porn sites since mom took away the credit card ;)on a lighter note, i'm sure many will point you to the whens and the whereabouts, be safe and have fun on your journey.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Very good question. My wife likes to be dominated but not hardcore and by me but I also think that one other person that she can be dominating over would bring her out a liittle. My uneducated answer at this present stage would be to try a small group starting out. Maybe just to watch or join in a little. But im shure there are some hell bent hardcore people out there willing to give a you a spanking for youre troubles ;-)- Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Most of all I think trust is the key to pushing your boundaries , you need to ultimately know your safe if you wan to back out or it gets to much. So you must be able to trust the people your with. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  They have loads of forum groups based on certain fetishes or BDsM themes. This way you can discuss & read all about it and learn from other women's experiences. What to look for and what to avoid. They have regular munches (meet&greets) where you can meet other people with similiar interests. That is what I would do anyway.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  O'right! I'll be the "bad guy" here (you knew there was going to be one yeah?.... Duty of care and all that BS!) take care of yourself sweet's! 18 is young! Guys don't and won't (typically) respect that. All's I'm saying is be CAREFUL! Make sure you respect yourself and your body first and foremost! It's a hard world and the last thing you need are bad experiences that will cause you to have hang-ups about sex later in life. Lecture over! Good luck and best wishes!- Posted from rhpmobile

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  kinky_master

  12 years ago

  As I have mentioned in another thread - go with your instinct. If someone sounds too good to be true they normally are - so ask question -and repeat your questions a little while later - look for consistent answers. Make sure you have a safeword. Remember as a sub you will be vulnerable at the first meeting - he won't. So make sure you can trust him enough to stop when you use your safe word . Find out if this person is just telling you what you want to hear - or if he genuinely cares for your opinions and limits. Stay away form the ones telling you that real subs have no limits - as nothing could be further from the truth. And finally the acid test - find out what he thinks of 50 shades of grey - lol - and if it is his guide to BDSM - run - lol. Otherwise just be yourself and have as much fun as you can.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Young lady, there is some good advice in the posts above. BDSM, whilst being seen as a game can also have serious consequences if you make poor decisions or disrespect yourself. Trust is very important, take your time and develop a strong basis of trust with your chosen play partner.   Safe words should not be optional (except for the most experienced players) so it is important that prior to a meet for play, He SHOULD provide you with a simple safeword set up (like traffic lights) and you should be aware when to use them. As discussed above, a new player like yourself must ensure that your limits (the things you do knot wish to be involved in) are clearly stated and agreed to. Its a bit late when you are tied up with a gag n your mouth and He decides your limits aren't necessarily His. Siafewords would ideally include a safe action (like a couple of quick taps using your hand or foot that translates to an "orange/red" signal to slow down or back off.   That brings us to a BDSM Checklist. Again, a good experienced and considerate Gentleman Dom (which you would be wise to look for) will ask you for a Checklist. Ideally an emailable version so that He can study your experience level, consider your likes and dislikes (limits) and particular things that turn you on or you may wish to consider. you will also find many words or phrases that you are unfamiliar with and that gives you the opportunity to educate yourself and understand more what's going on.   I also use fetlife.com (a facebook like wordwide community specifically for fetish and kinky types) as it has Groups where people into the same thing can provide community support or answer questions and Fetish lists that you can add to your profile so that others can see what you are into.   Also, (I could go on for ever but you need succinct and simple advice at this stage) consider finding a Mentor. Someone whom you learn to Trust, whom has your best interests (knot self interests) at heart and can act as your Guide through the initial stages and may even assist in finding your first Dom or Domme.   I have a simple set of terms for the initial stages that I use when describing a girls initial forays into this lifestyle: These are not necessarily everyone's idea but after many years as a Dom I find this explains it to some degree and works effectively as a way of growing into the scene safely and sanely:   Mentor - guides a newbie through the initial stages, discusses concepts and ideas, how to get started, Checklists, safewords and any of the initial teething issues around finding the right person for you.   Teacher - similar to a Mentor but with a more hands on approach. A Teacher moves on with the sub from theory to practice, demonstrating the things you have discussed and perhaps what to try. May or may knot be the same person as your Mentor. A good Teacher sets up the play, makes sure everything is safe and ensures your wellbeing at all times, whilst taking you to the edge of your desires and fantasies, bringing you back to Earth gently and considerately. A good Teacher is also creative and keeps things interesting.   Master - Acts as Mentor and Teacher. If a strong relationship develops between the submissive and the Teacher (or Mentor) they may decide to formalise their relationship (privately or publicly) and become Master and slavegirl (or any of a number of terms). There are many aspects and different forms of a M/s relationship that include simple get togethers for play right through to 24/7, 7/365 formal live in arrangements. there is no time to go into detail here.   If you are simply looking for bondage (non sexual) then there may knot be the need to enter this kind of relationship.   Finally, when you play, you will likely receive a huge endorphin rush like a high because what you are doing may be exciting and new and thrilling (it may also be painful, sexy, fun hopefully or any of a number of new feelings and emotions) so it is important to be aware that what goes up, must come down. An experienced bondage model or sexually submissive girl will be aware (as will an experienced Dominant) that you may suffer a form of sub-drop, that is, you feel down, depressed and shocked at what you have done. you may also KNOT suffer this but its important to know that it's reasonably normal reaction to a previous high and generally temporary. A good, experienced and considerate Dom will be aware and understand sub-drop and will provide important Aftercare for His submissive.   I don't pretend to know it all, many are more experienced and knowledgeable but I hope these basic terms and suggestions are of assistance to you. Enjoy the ride but take time to consider what you want to do, develop a strong level of Trust with your Mentor and always play safe and sane.   TallDarkman Xx

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Hi Madimadi, Please drop me a line and maybe we can talk about it.

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