M38

Shy guys

August 18 2011

Hi Ladies, I'm curious when you're on a date with a shy guy that clearly feels so nervious that keeping the conversation flowing seems so hard with the akward silences growing longer, do you automatically think there will never be any chemistry or whatever and just put it off as a bad experience and move on? Or do you understand that this is more first date jitters and that the second date should be much better? I mean for me personally blind dates and first dates with people i'm not all that familiar with almost always leave the woman bored and uninterested. I understand this is my character flaw but its temporary. do women realise this or is it really ALL about first impressions? Ladies I really would appreciate your incite on this topic. Thanks, Pharoah

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RHP User

13 years ago

If that happens, I've always been able to read it and realise what it is. We can tell that you haven't shut down because you're bored or disinterested, but that you may be struggling due to nerves. That's usually when i would take over in the conversation lead, or I would say something silly , like "Did you know that if you don't talk for 2 whole minutes on a first date, you will uncontrollably piss your pants" lmao a good (silly, crazy, stupid) show of humour is your best friend in nerve wracking situations. If I were you, I would be very very upfront about having shocking nerves with this sort of thing and tell her from the get go. That way you don't leave her wondering if it's her, if she's not so intuitive. Honesty and seeing the humour in it really will help to overcome it in the long run. Will also give you time to relax and let her see the 'usual' you come out, best of luck with your dates

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RHP User

13 years ago

I actually like speaking in public and do it across several venues yet know what a case of nerves can do to you too. Seriously...find something ridiculous or even cheeky to say and laughter will lead you on your way for the next ....however long it takes to get the that "ya know ya wanna" sort of question. | I had one of those damn PowerPoint presos go pear shaped due to technology issues in front of a group of about 600 snobs and nobs....I thought I had turned off the mic as I leaned over to check it and muttered "Thanks for fucking this up Mr. Gates". The rest of it was easy once they quit laughing. | If all else fails...just stare at their breasts. Women are used to us not looking them in the eye and some who shall remain nameless and have small breasts might interrupt you just to get you to look up. If she asks what you are looking at just say... | "I am the chairman of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee and think you qualify for membership". | Ya know ya wanna!

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RHP User

13 years ago

I have a knack (so it seems) of getting even the most shy of people to open up and tell me stuff they normally would not tell anyone apart from thier best mate. I tend listen well and ask the right questions and the conversation just does not have those awkward silences. Most men find my company relaxing and yes I know that SOME of you would find that hard to believe. I guess it comes from standing in front of a nasty group of teenaged school kiddies and trying to coax them to learn fun stuff like economics.

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RHP User

13 years ago

I am generally intuitive enough to pick up on If someone is shy and/or nervous. Think it is easier for older or should I say more mature, experienced people to see. Generally fill in the awkward silences with something funny or a sense of the ridiculous which, generally, relaxes and makes people more comfortable. Failing that I just bring up the topic that brought us together ....... it generally gets people talking. Cissy

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RHP User

13 years ago

Some women just talk and talk and talk and talk and there's really only one way to gag 'em. I therefore conclude that being a good listener with a big dick is ample compensation for shyness.Ok... alright. What I really think is that some people just make me feel relaxed and others not so much. Saying nothing is not always awkward for instance. If I'm comfortable with someone I don't feel awkward when we're quiet.. yet there are other people who, I really have no idea what they're saying because whatever it is their talking about, just doesn't catch my attention.... have you ever met someone that is talking to youo... you become self conscious of teh smile on your face... you start to wonder whether your smile looks silly... you can feel it kind of straining your cheeks and you think you had better change facial expressions or they might think you're mocking them... but you dont want to pull a face.... then suddenly.. they stop talking... and you realise that it is your turn to speak.... then you realise you have no idea what the topic of conversation was.... so you smile.... NOw that's what I call an awkward silence!Feel free to repeat this story at liberty... whenever you run out of things to say... and follow it up by.. "but you make me feel quite comfortable. Would you like another champaine and come back to my house to look at my bits and bobs?HugsStalky

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RHP User

13 years ago

I am a bit shy too and I really suck at small talk, but I will make a valiant effort in keeping the conversation going but if the other person does not at least try to meet me half way. Yeah I get bored and I doubt that there can be any chemistry between us. If you see me around I am usually the one sitting there listening. I have nothing to say for myself, I mean who really cares anyway. Ooh err aren't I feeling sorry for myself today. Hahaha. But I find that you have a natural rapport with some people. xx Meeka

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RHP User

13 years ago

Darling i think first date nerves are very common from either side of the table. As long as the other person is skilled at keeping a conversation going you shoudl be right. Just keep asking open questions. What do you do (if that's not too personal)? And if it is, perhaps what "area/field" do you work in? What are you interested in? Have you travelled? Fave childhood memory? Weirdest, kinkiest, hottest place you had sex in? It depends, if this is a "i am looking for a relationship with this person" date then you have to be a little more careful about your questions, if it's a shag/sports date then you can easier ask sexy questions. I guess just sus out what type of person this is, what type of questions you think you can get away with asking? Better yet, go to a movie of her choice and talk about it afterwards. There are many ways around this problem. When in doubt, fake it till you make it. You may not feel brave or outgoing but just be the confident outgoing guy for that date, almost like role play. You'll be amazed with the results. Happy hunting xx Kitty

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RHP User

13 years ago

Some shy guys can be hard work in the long run because even when they get comfortable with you they are still too shy to say what they want. First date nerves and shyness is normal and no problem but if a boy was still coy after the first couple of dates that was the end of it for me.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Thanks all for your responses. Very valueable iinput! Just need to put it to good use:p

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