M41

Signals

November 12 2014

OK this is my first new thread so be gentle with me! This comes about from the events of my last Saturday night at my brother's wedding, I had arrived at the reception venue early to assist in setting up when a young woman ( 25 to be exact ) catches my eye. She was there as the bartender for the night. So, being my usual friendly self, started up a conversation which ended up lasting the whole night, with me basically missing the entire reception! She even stayed on after she was finished her shift and the conversation continued. Now to me it seemed to be more than just two people having a good chat as she was always very close or shoulder to shoulder with me. Granted she didn't know anyone at all there but still I was under the impression there could be more to it. At the end of the night I gave her my number, a friendly hug and a kiss on the cheek was given and received ( ever the gentleman I wasn't about to try for anything more ). I also never took her number but once she got home she sent me a message and our chatting continued, also over the next couple of days, until yesterday when i asked if we could catch up again and she responded with a yes but that she has a boyfriend! So that came as quite a shock because here i was thinking i was getting all the right signals from her, that she may have wanted more as well. Don't get me wrong, we still chatted and will still catch up because she is a fantastic person and still enjoyed each others company but it made me question how i was interpreting her signals/ body language etc. So my question to all the ladies is this, what signals do you give when you have an interest in someone, and what do you like to receive to know he is interested in you? I understand everyone is different so i guess that's why I'm asking, as it can be very difficult to distinguish between someone just being friendly and wanting to take it further. Thanking you all, and may you all have an awesome day! Yowie

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inspirit

10 years ago

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Mischeviouslad

10 years ago

Yowie... as much as Im going to field comments as a result of this..... there are a few options here. 1. you gave off a friendly non masculine/non sexual vibe and she put you in the "friend zone" to chat with.2. some women have learned to enjoy attention, and just give their contact details to others3. some women...... particularly younger women who can be more inclined to easy-come-easy-go-relationship principles.... will upgrade.4. she doesnt have a boyfriend, but thats her defence mechanism for keeping you at arms length Only you and she can know how the interaction felt, and the texts which have occurred since that led to her announcement. Now.... my view is, she has stated that she has a boyfriend, so, unless you want to date a cheater (and as an saying goes... whether you follow it or not.... once a cheater always a cheater), then I'd let her go. You could take the Masculine line and set her straight and say that you're a man of principles (hopefully) and you wont interfere with another mans woman, just as you wouldnt endure another man interfering with your woman.Then, leave her alone. What happens after that, is her choice, and not your responsibility, but youve made your point of view very clear. DG

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RHP User

10 years ago

I would just ask her straight out.. something like..."right oh... we spend a heep of time chatting and all.. is it JUST chat for you, OR do you think we MIGHT end up somewhere else?" Something like that... Maybe I would just say.. "Fck it girl... you are so fckn hot, let me suck your shit to a point, and stab myself to death with it... IF you won't fck me!!"Probably NEITHER of them would work for you but YOWIE... you don't have a BEARD!!

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inspirit

10 years ago

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RHP User

10 years ago

I think you were receiving mixed signals from her. From your description it was more than just a passing pleasant chat with a stranger to be polite. Who knows, she may be thinking of ditching her boyfriend if its not working for her. Or as mentioned already she may be sizing you up for a 3some. Only way to find out is to ask. You have nothing to lose and you may avoid a black eye if the boyfriend turns out to be more than just a boyfriend. Great profile btw. CheersLG

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RHP User

10 years ago

she was into you to me. Maybe things aren't that great with the boyfriend and she took an interest in you but thought she better just make sure you were clear that it can't be full steam ahead as yet. As for signals, I am different with different people. Sometimes I am a bit coy and shy and other times I am brazen. You seemed to have read her body language well, if she is open and responsive to you then her body would reflect that. People with their arms or legs crossed or turned away from you aren't open to you. Women apparently tend to play with their hair a lot, bite their bottom lip and push their breasts together. But it seems many people tend to take friendliness as flirting now and there can be a fine line between some titillation and real desire. Good luck working it out.

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MsSuperFoxy

10 years ago

It sounds like you were "Future Faked". IMOE...the lady was spinning you a future to get what she wanted, her needs needed to be met for her right now. People do this for various reasons - 1) being their primary relationship is rocky. It sounds like the two of you were making plans to do stuff in the future as if the two of you were planning on a "relationship" in future together. Then you found out the future didn't match up when she said she had a BF - expectations crushed a little. It's shitty, I know. I guarantee her next move, she will now do what she has too, so there is no or very little confrontation. Actions were not behind the words, so now OP you are left questioning yourself, because of the change of relationship. So now it sounds like you are wanting and seeking answers. To be honest OP, you will not get them...unless you are included with her and her partners future - then it will be different dynamics. The best advice I can give you is to stop thinking this is YOU and cease looking for signs and signals. If she was interested in the word GO she wouldn't have Future Faked. Foxy PS_ Time to move on and find someone who is "Just that into YOU" as much as "YOU are into them". :)

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MsSuperFoxy

10 years ago

For your first Forum Topic - awesome! Well done. Foxy x

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RHP User

10 years ago

Well, if i knew what they were i probably wouldn't be on here?!?!?! hahahahahaha

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RHP User

10 years ago

If you add up the responses from all the posters so far, here's what you get: - it sounds like she was giving off signals beyond just a low-key, casual chat. How much beyond is hard to tell as we weren't there, but based on your description of how much time you spent with her and the contact afterwards, a fair bit beyond - now this is the tricky bit - her REASONS for giving off those signals could be anything. She might have felt too awkward to tell you directly that she was attached and it was easier when she was distant and on SMS. Perhaps she was being polite in response to all the attention you gave her but didn't feel the same way, so the boyfriend story was an easy-out. Perhaps she simply craved the attention and gave it back so she could get more of it from you. Perhaps her relationship is on the rocks or they swing or she's comfortable cheating. So many possibilities. Unless she tells you, you can only guess which reasons apply. - your choices are not so tricky. It's seems there are three options. Speak to her directly about the mixed signals and see what she says/where it leads OR bow out completely now you know she has a boyfriend OR stay in touch and meet up without addressing what happened, and see where that leads. Personally, I like closure so I'd be likely to ask her directly. I'd probably say something like "I'm surprised to hear you have a boyfriend. I thought we had some sparks and we were both enjoying flirting. Did I read the situation wrong? Is there a reason you didn't tell me about your boyfriend at the wedding?" If I didn't want the awkwardness of asking those questions then I'd simply walk away. Too many unknowns for me. Good luck! - Posted from rhpmobile

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6exxy

10 years ago

Seriously? Take the next step and kiss her. Boyfriend or not women like a man that takes charge and risk. The nice guy sitting back gets nothing because he wasn't willing to take the risk. She is into you but are you into her? Good luck and you should be asking the guys this question!😀

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RHP User

10 years ago

Unless you've seen her body language interacting with other people platonically you've really got nothing to compare it to in order to say for sure she was flirting with you. So I reckon you should send her a message saying this:- "I suppose a fuck is out of the question then??" Lol :p - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

So thank you all for your input and ideas its always greatly appreciated! Although I had already made up my mind about what do do, as I'm not about to enter into anything that involves cheating, nor am I interested in playing with a couple. But like I have said, catching up again is certainly on the agenda, at the very least I've made another friend, which if nothing else, is always good for networking! Stir, as always your comments are so inspiring! Foxxy, future faked? that's a new concept I'd never heard of, good thoughts! And thank you! Leo, thank you for the compliment on my profile, it's always nice to get a good review! Cavey, dammit lost out because of the lack of beard, that's the third time this week! Once again thank you all for your opinions and thoughts, hopefully the thread continues and we get a few more insights into the behaviour of women, us mere mortals need all the help we can get!!! Have an awesome day! Yowie

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RHP User

10 years ago

She put you in the friend zone..You paid her attention ....lots of it..when she was supposed to be working..Why didn't she tell you about the b.f...because she wanted to keep on chatting to you,keep your attention, dangle a little potential...move on OP xxFreya

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RHP User

10 years ago

She put you in the friend zone..You paid her attention ....lots of it..when she was supposed to be working..Why didn't she tell you about the b.f...because she wanted to keep on chatting to you,keep your attention, dangle a little potential...move on OP xxFreya

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RHP User

10 years ago

Yes, I tend to agree. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

That one made me chortle out loud :) - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

I am with Freya on this one. If you like a certain amount of anarchy in your life keep that glow in your heart alive for her. If I were you I would move her to the friends category, sometimes friends stay around a lot longer than lovers. If that friendship is true you have expanded your social network and increased your chance of meeting someone even more special.

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RHP User

10 years ago

You may very well be right and I don't have any problems with that at all. As for the glow in the heart thing, that makes it sound like I was looking for a relationship, which is definitely not something I want or need at the moment! Have an awesome day! Yowie

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TallBaldSexy

10 years ago

dissecting & deciphering signals is helpful but how did the process go? Going back to the initial chat - this reportedly went well and we progressed to a more interactive chat rubbing shoulders - was that an escalation of interest? - maybe - maybe not - lets go with maybe.... What occurred next from the OP seems that we felt some potential vibes from our sexy 25yo Bar Attendant - but we were unsure of her actual intentions....At this point a decision was made to let our sexy "drink" walk out the door gentleman gesture. Q. Did we miss the opportunity at this point? Q. Did it indeed die off once removed from the environment?....Q. Does she really have a boyfriend or is that an excuse?... Who knows but should we have asked a direct question before she slipped away?

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RHP User

10 years ago

After a few days now she drops the bombshell ? I have a boyfriend !!! Get it mr gentleman ? She does not want another boyfriend ! However you really blew this one ! The signals are there you just misenterpreted them what she was trying to let you know all that night was she wanted to be taken out the back bent over as you buried your face in her dripping pussy till she squirted down the front of your shirt spun her around hoisted her up pressing against the store room door pounding the fuck out of her as she screamed out fuck me harder dont stop fuck me yes yes yes !! Bent her over again feeding your huge thick cock deep in her doggy until her knees bent colapsed in orgasmic paralysis half naked on the cement floor , then later taking her home fucking her all night as boyfriend was away and she does not cheat !! But that would nt be cheating as such just that she needed a moment to reflect . So yeah you fucked up . - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

10 years ago

Ya big dag. She's cockteasing, harsh but true ! Not malicious maybe but you've been retained purely for entertainment value. Your definitely in the friendzone which is quick sand, keep her on, maybe you can hit on her friends. I would leave the next move to her.

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RHP User

10 years ago

Next time that you find yourself chatting up a woman,ASK her if she is attached....some people are just very good at flirting...for them its like flexing a muscle,but for the rest of us,confusing....It's also a power thing,intrepid flirts like to see the object of their attention succumb to their sexy wiles...they often describe their behaviour as ''harmless''....toying deliberately with someone's emotions,is hardly that IMO....and don't do the shoulder to shoulder thing...gaze into her eyes,flirt right back,develop your own sexy powers.. Oh and just ignore Big O,he just clearly needs to get laid xxFreya

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6exxy

10 years ago

If she wants to bowl take out your bat and hit it for six! Make the move then she has no room to put you in the friend category. If she rolls and like Bigocean said she bends over then the balls in her court! Seriously don't let the circumstance dictate to you. You do have a choice but maybe it's not in your nature and you come to where you are now. Asking people on this forum?

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