F59
Singles attending events solo
November 01 2015
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
I havent been to a venue alone but I have attended a couple of private parties where I knew absolutely nobody. I really had to overcome the fear and get out of my comfort zone though. My main concern was walking in and just be standing around looking like orphan Annie. But the hosts were very welcoming and introduced me to people and told them I was new. They both continually checked up on me to see how I was going. I did get the cold shoulder from a few wives who were chatting together but majority of people were friendly and chatty. Being private parties, the premises are smaller and so people arent spread out and secluded as much as in a club setting,so it was easier to be a part of conversations that were happening I dont think I would go to a large venue on my own though, unless I knew some people who would be there.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I actually prefer going alone because it means I can walk around and watch without feeling I have to play with (or even talk to) anyone. Being an introvert I prefer to observe for a while before diving in (and sometimes I don't even). I'm not a fan of expectations and often decide at the last minute whether I'll play or not. Going by myself means there will be no feelings hurt. And the freedom! The only time I've felt uncomfortable was when one couple decided that if I wasn't going to fuck (read: them), I had no business being at the club. They even complained to management. Having said all that, it was my pleasure accompanying a few newbie couples who needed someone to hold their hand, because it was clear ahead of time I'd go as a friend only.
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Missb4u
9 years ago
Go alone but like the idea of going with a female friend or a couple of girlfriends.
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Katkat
9 years ago
ive done it few weeks ago it was good meeting new people hosts was very friendly looks like I'll be joining them again next month haha I'll try bring a guy this time with me see how i go if there's a difference lol. - Posted from rhpmobile
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PatchworkGirl
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Having said all that, it was my pleasure accompanying a few newbie couples who needed someone to hold their hand, because it was clear ahead of time I'd go as a friend only. I'm sure the newbies appreciated the company too Meander!
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RHP User
9 years ago
There was one club where solo single guys were not only allowed but encouraged to go. It was something I liked the idea of (if I'd been lucky enough for a woman to take an interest I think I'd have been a very happy man indeed!) but I have to admit I was too shy. I'm a bit self-conscious about my body (I'm a little overweight) and ultimately there was something about the idea of just rolling up on my own to a sex-on-premises venue that felt a bit like I didn't really belong in such a setting. Maybe one day.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Going alone would make me uncomfortable and is why I've never stepped foot inside any venue. I keep threatening to grab a friend to go along with just for the experience... One day, it will happen..
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'd go by myself, with no hesitation, not being the shy type and extremely horny, i'd find action fairly quickly and in the main area, like being watched so would never hide away in a room. Don't understand why people go to a swingers club and hide in a room, may as well stay at home or go to a motel, anyway guess some are shyer. BUT my issue is that the people won't be to my taste or too old or a combination of both. It is what it is and one day i might just go to check it out, but would try to find a singles party so no jealous wives to standvin the way of free fun. But i couldn't imagine not interracting at all, i'm too horny, if no-one appealed i'd probably send out an SOS to meet me somewhere. I like to pleasure myself openly as well, not sure if that would be acceptable in the event that no person appealed but i'd quite happily slide down on the floor and start doing myself, not sure if that would be a turn off for others? - Posted from rhpmobile
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QLDtwo4fun
9 years ago
There is offen single girls at the parties we go to, some go purely to meet women, some go to meet couples, and some are there to meet men. There are always a few single guys there to ensure the ladies needs are met. Not every couple in the party scene plays as a couple every time so there is always room for a few singles.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I would love to watchful doing yourself, maybe if I fitted what you are looking for I could help! Where are the clubs in Perth? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Always gone alone. As I have/do to most other engagments, entertainment and travels over the years. So I'm very used to it.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Hi all, I'd love attend a swingers party however im a single male in my late 20's and there is not many parties that take on single men. I can see why this can be the case to a degree however it makes it hard at the same time. I'm yet to attend a swingers party of any kind so I'm hoping I could perhaps get some advice on how to go about it and maybe get pointed in the right direction :) Many ThanksGrind_time
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f15eagle
9 years ago
The first time I went to a swinger party, the host was very gracious, she introduced me to everyone and I felt very welcomed even though I was new and alone. I only ever go to swinger parties or clubs by myself, except might be once or twice. I pretend it's just a normal party and talk to as many people as I can. Sometimes it leads to fun time in the play room, sometimes not, but that's just par for the course. I understand it can be intimidating for someone who turns up alone (just like any party), so I always look out for them and show them around, make them feel comfortable. The only problem is, being a single male, I can't go to couples nights.
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TheDoorMan
9 years ago
Do it once you should be made welcome as soon as your are meet by door stud host or hostess have a chat which you would have asked when you rang up to attend a venue. You should be shown around the venue bathrooms play rooms then be introduced to most none playing persons in attendance. You are in charge as a women no is no and if annoyed tell the host hostess and in ours the door stud.Have a very good time. .
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RHP User
9 years ago
Dear Deep Purple, I found you originally in Swingers Clubs in Brisbane Area. I will be in Gold Coast from 31May thru 05Jun. I am wondering if you and I can team up as a couple and visit one of the venues you have mentioned in your post. I can be a charming pal for one night. What do you say?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yes I replied to you in the other thread. You are obviously new and excited to try lots of new things with like minded people. But just take a minute and look at things from the other peoples perspective. Your profile has no pics, even in your private gallery. People like to see who is talking to them. Also, you will find that most women wont take a stranger to a club/party to help them get in. So Im sorry but I wouldnt team up to go to clubs. I think your best bet would be to pay for a membership so that you can message ladies and get to know them. Also put some pics up. They dont have to be your face. As you find your feet, you will see that we dont all jump when asked to do something, no matter how nice the person words it. There is also no reason why you cant go to a venue on your own. There are other single gents there.just take your time. Suggestion re Gold coast... Hang out at the Atrium bar at Jupiters casino. Its a well knows spot that couples go to and pick up single guys for play... If you are into that.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Deep Purple, True. I apologise for being a bit hasty. My photo was under the review till now. I guess I will try Vino alone on Friday. They seem to take single gents only on Friday night. Thanks for your suggestion, Deep P.
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RHP User
9 years ago
No need to apologise. You asked and I answered. All the best. Pop back in here and give us a review if you end up going
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RHP User
8 years ago
To date...I only go to swingers events solo and have no problem just watching if nothing takes my fancy. It suits me as a single woman. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I am a totally straight single bloke (not even a bi-curious fingernail)...so my experience may be different to single Bi men, but...in my experience single men do NOT get invited to private events. I've had only one FB who was part of a group of people who met privately for sexual purposes but she did not wish to share me with other women. I have never been to a Swingers' Club for the same reason and when I have looked at Swingers' Clubs advertisements/calendars it seems single men are mostly NOT welcome at Swingers clubs. However, outside these contexts I am a happy (not gay) bachelor of over 11 years. I always fly solo...everywhere...and am completely comfortable doing so...this includes some straight-friendly venues such as The Colombian which I find has a less aggressive atmosphere compared to the clubs in my neighbourhood (Kings Cross)....I do find the drug culture a bit tedious, but at least the place is by and large friendly. My two bob's worth
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RHP User
8 years ago
My experience with swingers clubs/venues/private parties, is that the majority are straight male play with the couples and single guys. And keeping an eye on the events section on here should find you some events that include single male guests. As a single female, I dont attend anything thats only couples and single women. I prefer extra willies. Lol
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thanks for the heads-up! (pun intended)
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Saints and Sinners next month in Melbourne (check the events section for details) is open to couples, single women and Trans. I will be attending. Any single women who would like to go but daunted attending alone? Message or flirt me and maybe we can get a small group together for moral support and drink companions
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RHP User
8 years ago
That could be a fun night for the melb single ladies/trans. Travel in a pack and have more fun on the prowl. Maybe making an event thingy might be handy for the ladies who would love to go if they had someone to hang out with
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RHP User
8 years ago
As for the OP's question in more detail, before I attended my first event, I had a phone conversation with a professional sex counsellor/psychologist (someone also within the swinging scene), about my questions and concerns. And prior to the first time I attended such an event (a house party, obviously solo) I was excited for literally weeks beforehand (because I had read the party description, and had then rung and been accepted). I was so excited, that masturbation was not even cutting it - I would masturbate and immediately afterwards, I was still so excited it was like I had never did it. Not only was it an opportunity to actually have sex (again), when I finally went to the event, it dawned on me that many shared certain fantasies, and was amazed to see people engaging in them, and that it was so literally accessable to me, especially so in Melbourne. As it happened, I did manage to play at the event, and stayed on a high after the event, as the lady I played with gave me a "glowing review"! As I went to more of these events, I did look out for "newbie" single men to chat to and perhaps give advice, or talk to the couples or more experienced men to get advice, and just hear stories. I rarely saw any single women. Now I've been to almost all events/clubs allowing single men in Melbourne, most of them multiple times. You are correct that these events are normally aimed at extra men for the women/couples. Not that I have ever complained about that! However, I don't attend such commercial events anymore (solo), at least for the time being, mainly for financial reasons. Although I have been going to similar private invited events lately through fetlife. Other than that, for the moment I am focusing on (keeping or finding) ongoing connections with individuals or couples. Like many men are seeking, it would be nice one day to attend different events with a likeminded single female, but that wouldn't be going solo anymore then would it? :)
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Paradisepair
8 years ago
I (MrsParadise) have been to a few alone overseas and it's a very different experience than going as half of a couple. I am almost at the stage of not wanting to go to any that don't have a few single guys around as it feels so cliquey at couples + girls parties. My best nights solo have been at singles parties or a friends night where she's high on quality and adds 1 guy for every 3 to 4 couples. I have also had a very successful night when I brought along a wingman, a hot single guy I met online and then in person on the way there. Generally hosts are always welcoming, and it's easy to work out who wants to talk to you. I know now that it's hard work being a unicorn, first world problems... but yeah the grass is not greener, it's just different.
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RHP User
8 years ago
...despite the best of sentiments expressed on this thread about single men being welcome, the evidence is to the contrary. I've just checked events/parties for Sydney/NSW and...the only one that lists single men as potential attendees is the national meet and greet in Adelaide on October 22. Well, that's nice...but really?...I mean...really? I am well aware of how badly some single men behave online and in the real world...so why not simply dispense with the pretence and just put a disclaimer on all RHP events...NO SINGLE MEN...lots of women and couples have it on their profile so why not just make it a general disclaimer?
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thats pretty sad. Well I wouldnt be interested in any of those events, if it were only couples and women.
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RHP User
8 years ago
As I'm contemplating attending my first swingers party next month, what are the general order of events and what rules exist written and unwritten as a single mle?
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RHP User
8 years ago
As a single female comming to these events, I like that single males are capped. And although this limits my options, It's unfortunate that some tend to follow me around like a bad smell, if I'm not interested I'm not going their. No need to make yourself look desperate. Even small conversation potentially may get you their, but trying to drag me off to play the moment u lay eyes on me. No thanks. I like to take a single male as my "couple" but make them aware I'm not their baby sitter and that if couples only want a female that I'm not going to push the issue, so for that I like to choose a good looking bloke, that respects women, and has the confidence to not need his hand held :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
looking for a partner or a single for an event or party in perth? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
You probably won't find a woman willing to go to an event or club with you, just so you can get in the door. When two people go to an event together, they need to be comfortable that the other person won't be a dickhead and make both people look bad. I almost always go to clubs by myself, only very rarely will I go with a man, and only if we are good friends. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
You probably won't find a woman willing to go to an event or club with you, just so you can get in the door. When two people go to an event together, they need to be comfortable that the other person won't be a dickhead and make both people look bad. I almost always go to clubs by myself, only very rarely will I go with a man, and only if we are good friends. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I have attended parties and clubs as a couple before and as a single guy on invite, and it is a real shame that some and I mean some.Single guys that I have seen and heard acting like lecherous dogs spoil it for all the genuine single guys by their behavior and dis-respect to the point that is why single guys at events,clubs and parties just can't even get a look in. I'm sure there are lots of guys out there as lovely,caring and as genuine as me
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RHP User
8 years ago
So how do we know your loving & caring Mrboom?
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kanditime
7 years ago
I've never been to a swingers club/party. But am looking at going to one towards the end of the month in Brisbane. I'll be going alone, a little nervous as I'm not sure what to expect. But we'll see how we go. - Posted from rhpmobile
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