F54
Sleepless night.......
January 27 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
because it is like trying to fathom the unfathomable.It could be a number of things. He is attached,had the guilts,couldn't get away. He found someone else. His budgie died. and so the list goes on. However don't think for one moment that the lingerie,bedlinen etc are a waste because the RHP mantra is NEXT. These things are ALWAYS about timing and inclination. I know you feel utterly rejected now but think how much worse you would feel if you had,had a quick bonk and he left,never to be seen or heard from again.He did you a HUGE favour OP. Some people just like to play a game,see if they can reel you in,it's good for their ego. A master of the texting you say,I suggest he has done this many times before and will do it many more times. Do not give him another thought,he just aint worth it.
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SacralChakra
12 years ago
Some men do this sometimes. They seriously don't think the same as us and its a hard lesson to learn. Here's a scenario - his mate came over and said lets watch the cricket/tennis/footy. He put his phone on charge but forgot to turn the power point on so its run down and is still sitting on the kitchen bench, turned off. They ended up getting pissed/going out/having a bbq.... He was busy and having fun so he didn't give you a second thought. He's probably clueless that you've spent so much money and organised your weekend around him. Did you have a definite date set? It sounds like perhaps you assumed he was as eager as you for some fun without confirming... The lesson we women need to learn is to live our lives for US. When those thoughts of a particular person creep into our heads, push it away and think about YOUR stuff. Don't wait for them to call - get out and do things. If they are REALLY interested, they will call. If they don't call THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED. Its taken me over 40 years to learn this lesson myself... *sigh*
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RHP User
12 years ago
For many on here it is the thrill of the chase and chatting to the men this scenario is not exclusive to either sex. Men and women alike do this. Yes it is annoying, yes it is frustrating but there is nothing we can do about it. It is not that they intentionally set out to be nasty and hurtful. You have to consider that we each have our own agenda. The man who was texting you, he may be boosting a very low confidence level with his little on line flirting. I know it is a low act from your point of veiw but he may not even consider that he has done anything wrong at all. Remember the anonymity of being on line is the largest appeal and the big turn on for some. If they meet you then that anonymity is gone. They may not be who or what they profess to be. THey may be married or in a relationship. You have just become someones step to feeling a little better about themselves. At the expense of your own flagging self confidence.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We're arseholes.
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TrymeonForsize
12 years ago
Thankyou for your kind advice....... Yes we had confirmed that today was the day we were going to fulfill the many scenarios that we had imagined together...... Hence my pre-organizing to have my children absent..... As I say, quite an undertaking considering how many I have...... I truly thought my radar was on track with this guy, and guess its the reason that I'm so utterly confused..... I guess it's my first quite painful experience with this sort of scenario, and I'm really struggling with it...... But thankyou for your well considered advice xxx
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beebs
12 years ago
So sorry to hear that you had this happen. It shouldn't take long for him to see that you have posted here and the apologies will un-doubtably be coming. I hope it is all innocent and the fun times have just been postponed. Take care B
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RHP User
12 years ago
The male psyche, such a mystery. Yes there are countless reasons but I also think it boils down to something quite simple. If it's a priority for him he'll make it happen. He might still be interested, he might still want you, but something else - hanging with mates, apologising to his wife, sleeping in, talking to the latest gal who's caught his attention etc - became suddenly MORE important at the time. Ouch! There might be a completely legit reason of course but I wouldn't waste too much time worrying about that or giving him the benefit of the doubt - if there is a genuine reason he'll do what he can to explain when he can. Otherwise, as FREYA said, "next"! I know we women get consumed with the question "why" but I think the answer is usually simple and we just don't want to accept it. Regardless if what you've shared, regardless of what's happened so far, at that moment you weren't a priority for him. Bloody men!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'd met with a gorgeous woman a few times, had great sex, good rapport, she was heading across the country for a month back home, and then I never heard from her again (and she hasn't been back on RHP.) I do hope I was just a dud lay the third time and that nothing bad happened, or that she met the love of her life but feared the temptation of communicating with me again would set her over the edge and she'd throw her new life away just for another night with me. It's very frustrating just not knowing what's happened, but not much I can do about it. As others have said though, someone(s) else will come along, so it's definitely NOT a waste with your investments!A question about your scenario was unclear though - had you actually scheduled a date that he's missed? If you were expecting something to happen but hadn't set it up yet, essentially all you've described so far is him taking more than a day to respond. Which isn't necessarily the end of it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It probably had nothing to do with you or your body. But it does sound to me like you invested a lot in someone you had not met yet. Spending all that money, not having sex with others and going through a lot of trouble to have a kid-free house... He obviously wasn't worth it. Next! I hope the next guy that contacts you is a MAN. And that he goes totally gaga over your lingerie. Lucky him!
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TrymeonForsize
12 years ago
Thanks ms devious , we had met.....(no sex) .& I had thought that with the interaction afterwards that it was a sure thing........ He seemed very genuine and normal....... Obviously I now need to fine tune my radar somewhat....:( Btw........ Love the patriotic outfit xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
The "Disappearing Act" I call it... Happens to me all the time... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
they met,had dinner,made plans....maybe his last name is Houdini
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TrymeonForsize
12 years ago
thanks mischevious, i do have an incredibly full life.........and tend to have RHP as only a small part of it.......but I guess the effort I put into this one reflects just how serious I thought this guy was.......tis not something I do often........ but I guess its a lesson learned.....although a hard one at that......Superfox.....I can barely believe that anyone would EVER disappear on you xxxxxxxx
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TrymeonForsize
12 years ago
Either that or my name should indeed be gullible.........
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swifttall
12 years ago
He is an idiot an you deserve better,
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VillainNVixen
12 years ago
There may be a reasonable explanation trymeonforsize. I cant agree with your body being the issue, but that is just my opinion. Most likely explanation is that he is a prick. Another explanation may lie in a story that I will tell you all. One of my good friends, a girl, had a shocking horse accident, broken ribs, collarbone, coughing up blood, revived a number of times etc. She had been chasing this guy for a while and it just happened that they were going on their first date that night. The poor guy rocked up and after waiting a while thought he had been stood up and couldnt understand. As with you he thought they had chemistry. When my friend came to she realised what day it was and all that she could get out were the words "hot date". After repeating this a few times to her family receiving quisical looks they eventually twigged what she was on about and passed over her mobile phone. She pointed to the number and they were able to call her poor hot date and put him out of his mysery. There is a happy ending. He was so keen on her he sped over to the hospital for their first date and they eventually got married. Not sure if you are a romantic trymeon but hopefully the awwwww that you are letting out right now helps you feel a bit better.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hey maybe you should just think yourself lucky not to have got too close to him... This bloke has probably got some issues and maybe he likes you too much to let you get too involved with him... You probably wouldn't be so pissed off at him if you knew everything that was going on in his life.... Maybe he likes you too much and thinks you're too good for him, especially if he's in a really low point in his life... Go and get someone better because you deserve better and because this bloke will probably only fuck you around anyways... You've probably been through a lot to get to where you are right now in life, some good, some bad, so why would you want to go through his bad times too... You don't need it... There's plenty of good blokes to choose from out there, with their shit together, who would be wrapped to have a chick like you, so why bother with someone who doesn't know what the hell he wants or where he's going half the time... It would be worse if you had seen more of each other, and you did get attached to him, while he has issues... Maybe he's just trying to save you from that... Just giving another point of view... Who knows? ...Maybe I'm wrong and all he really is, is an asshole... Don't try to work out whats going on his head, because he probably doesn't know either... I doubt if its got anything to do with the way you are, or the way you look, in fact I'd be sure about that... Its definetly his problem not yours, so kick him to the side, and then smile when you see the look on his face when he sees you with someone else.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I truly hope you have found a replacement. You are a lovely woman and I'm sure plenty of men would jump at the opportunity to replace the AWOL dude.... Danny x
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RHP User
12 years ago
is good for you no matter what the circumstances. With sexy lingerie - even better. Wear it, takes some sexy selfies, raid the toy box. Enjoy your time to yourself. If someone else joins you, it's a bonus. If he doesn't show up ... you've had a lovely 'me' day anyway .... and .... NEXT!!!! I'm sure there are other gorgeous men on here that will enjoy your knickers! I have a couple of RHP mantras I stick to, the first one's the same as ML's "Don't make other's problems your problems" and importantly, "No expectations = No disappointments". :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
and we both reside here..Im tipping you met with my ex..reknown for doing this.............and if thats the case...consider yourself lucky !!!! - cause trust me the reasons for the silence...is that wifey got hold of his phone...!!! But seriously hon...this is Perth - there is smogasbord of men here.......us Perth girls are fortunate in that it is pick and choose here as opposed to our cousins elsewhere in the country The lovely lingerie (which I bet you rock) and new bed linen Im sure wont go to waste.........this one just wasnt fmeant or you and to be honest, unless death is his excuse..then in my humble opinion, you may have had a lucky escape.. You sound deliteful..Im sure there is someone awesome out there...just for you.......just keep clicking..... Best of luck xx
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TrymeonForsize
12 years ago
Wow, thanks for the overwhelmingly good advice and best wishes for you all.........I took your advice and am now sitting in airconditioned comfort in my new lingerie...... fresh bed lined on the bed that I know I will appreciate slipping into tonight..... I'm not angry with this guy, as I mentioned just totally confused and a little bruised in the ego department, but I'm a big girl and know that i will recover Perhaps I've needed this to happen to give me a reality check and to focus on things that are more important ........you guys really are too kind Thanks again for making what started out as a crappy day turn into a pleasant relaxing one. *hugs to all * xxTry
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TrymeonForsize
12 years ago
lol so many brilliant comments.........Jensman.........after having a husband for an arsehole it has taken me a little time to realise that not all men ARE arseholes lol........but rest assured, this one glitch in my new found appreciation for the male of the species will not put me of them for another 3 years lol .....there ARE good men.......I just haven't met that many lol.......keentoflirt..... very lovely tale there......and yes, although my romanticism is a little jaded I'm sure there still remains a little romantic heart beating somewhere inside me.....and it was an awwwwwwwwww moment reading your story. As for the possibility that he is injured and lying in traction in some hospital? mmmmm if so then he has his laptop with him and has read a message that I posted him on here.....so, not buying that one lol.......Seriously, I really was just terribly confused and a little hurt, something that I was really looking forward to never happened but I guess in the greater scheme of things it's not too bad.......as the song goes " I will survive"........ Again, thanks to all xxxxxxxxx
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Mr_MrsAraps
12 years ago
I would say he was in a relationship/married and had second thoughts so prob dodged a bullet there.On the flip side anyone who organises to be free with 4 kids (i know how hard that is), and buys new lingerie for a meet is going to find someone and he will be lucky guy.Cheers, W.
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swifttall
12 years ago
Quoting 'TrymeonForsize' .........after having a husband for an arsehole ... I am going to guess that you meant you had an arsehole for a husband and not a husband for an arsehole... Stay strong and gorgeous, because you are.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Nobody likes silence. It's the "I don't care" (or more likely "coward") thing that's annoying.~frowns~But anyway and moving right along.Let me know if you need a hand folding those new sheets?
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RHP User
12 years ago
He got scared.....saw all that you were investing and thought OH O .....I had a similar situation he seemed very keen and excited for this and then the excuses its just very disappointing when everything is so hard to arrange free time and all. They worry if you got o all this for them you are the type that will get attached. I cant count how many times I have gone to look for a new outfit only to be let down. Us girls always want everything to be special to look good and some guys dont realise its just that we want to make a good impression. We want that night to be special in our memories sometimes.I am sorry he didnt have the decency to even say sorry. (not that it would have helped.)Enjoy your gifts to yourself especially those sheets mmmm.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' MissM is right about the principle of investment though.... investment of thought, time, emotion, money...... You're confusing people.
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TrymeonForsize
12 years ago
Morning again lovely people, thought I'd let you know that I received a text message (finally) at 10pm last night..........appropriate self-flagelation and all.......lol Still totally confused as to his motivations for initiating contact with me and for the complete sudden change of mind, but at least he apologised for his houdini like behaviour. On the flip side, thanks to your kind words of encouragement I had a most enjoyable day to myself.......and i must admit that my toes curled with pleasure when I slipped under my lovely new sheets last night and I slept like a baby......albeit it one in expensive new lingerie lol So, case closed........lesson learned.........what a stunning day it is today.......methinks I will spend it with the people that really are important in my life that never fail to make me feel good about myself and confirm just how lucky I really am .......my kids Again....thank you for your words of support and encouragement.....they really did help xxxxxxx Try
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RHP User
12 years ago
Seems to happen to most of us at some point or other on here. Try not to take it personally. Rejection only defines us if we allow it to. Having said that, it isn't a lot of fun.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I wouldn't take it too personally, it could have been one of the many scenarios above. I do agree with MsD though, you seem to have gone to an awful lot of trouble to please someone you don't know all that well. Take it as one of lifes lessons and move on. Hope all turns out well, at the very least when you organise another rondezvous you are all set now.
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RHP User
12 years ago
maybe he got hit by a truck........bout the only excuse that will get him a return text from now on....why is it that men say ..i love xyz lingerie...and we go buy it...im changing my ways...next time he says i love ....im just going to tell him what size i am.....that'd be a size 7 shoe for all of you who have been messaging me about my feet........
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princesssuzie
12 years ago
Hi TrymeonForsize I've had a similar situation happen to me a couple of times and really know how you feel. I felt so dejected as first and then picked myself up and decided it was their problem not mine and I've gone on to meet some really nice guys from rhp, so don't let one man ruin it for you. I've had a quick look at your profile and you have nothing to worry about, the guys out there will be beating your door down in no time... I really don't know why each guy went silent as they gave all indications that they were keen. What I have learnt is to be a lot more cautious and I'm not so forthcoming with pics anymore... Suzie
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry for the late reply to this. I just finished reading the whole thread.After interacting with you, I guess only thing comes to my mind is your smile. Just smile it away as you usually do. I know its hard but believe me a smile like yours can melt down everything :). And you have already done the rest. Refocus, redefine the north pole and move on :Pxx
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFox' The "Disappearing Act" I call it... Happens to me all the time... This has brought to lite , a Damsel in distress, about to be revenged, by flash of belly bling light. Damsel Revenged "Never to be seen again". They called it, this time... - Posted from rhpmobile
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TrymeonForsize
12 years ago
and I only remembered as I was going through houdini's texts that i forgot to mention that I was not the first one to go on a little shopping spree lol.........he had gone shopping too, not for lingerie but for toys and had sent me pics..............DAMN.......had wanted to try some of them too !!!!! As for my purchases? Was just like buying a new dress.....something that I would normally do if I had something coming up that I was looking forward to.........and the linen? A girl can NEVER have enough good quality linen lol........DrZ......you are the total charmer!!!!!! When are you coming to Perth for gods sake lol!!!!!XXXXX hugs to all
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shucksta
12 years ago
But what aboQuoting 'TrymeonForsize'......and the linen? A girl can NEVER have enough good quality linen lol........Fresh linen... but no shamwow or plastic undersheets!??!!
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TrymeonForsize
12 years ago
Pffffft.......... Shamwow.........plastic under sheets? Sounds like equipment for a nursing home Shuck lol :-P
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi TryMeOnForSize,Firstly you look like a total goddess so don't go beating your self up baby and I know this for a fact trust me on this one! Secondly some guys just get high on the chase. So why not carry through with the process of hooking up with a lady as beautiful as your self? The guy is committed else where period. You have given him enough to fantasize about you while cutting you off means that he can feel some sense of morality for his current relationship. He wanted to know if he could ever have had such a beautiful stunner (which is you) and now you have for filled his male ego. It may be hard but he would have probably broken it off after scoring anyway which I think would hurt more. In a strange twisted way the guy didn't want to hurt you deep down. If he didn't care at all he would have taken you to bed as it is your better off where you are. Let me know if this helps.
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RHP User
12 years ago
read through this and looked at your profile I would suggest that one, he's fucking nuts !And while there are many valid reasons already mentioned it may be that your shopping spree spooked him.Hey I get that linen and lingerie will keep on giving long past his time, but I'm thinking it may just have given him the feeling that you were investing way too much in this meet than made him comfortable.Just sayin'.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I agree with Shinas and others.Married. Either got squeezed, or got cold feet. Nothing to do with the state of your body (smokin'!) or a mate with a better offer of pizza and beer. Not a bit.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Tryme...he must be mental, lazy, selfish.... who knows why people do this especially after meeting and obviously some attraction and chemistry. Just had a look at your profile and all I can say is what was he thinking? I am out of your age range and attached otherwise I would be more than happy for a chance to meet you and if all went well have an opportunity for you to test drive your new lingerie with me ;-). Forget him and get on with meeting others. I am sure there's plenty of opportunities on here for you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We hadn't met but we'd spoken flat out for a few days, suddenly she dropped off the face of the earth. Shit happens, better for the ego if they disappear before you get into bed. At least that way the sex side of it doesn't become part of the second guessing. Good luck with your......NEXT!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hey Try there is an up to every down. If there was a legit reason for not being able to make it, there is no excuse for not making a phone call or a quick text. Hope you've recovered got back on the horse and had fun with the lingerie.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sorry to hear about your problem but i'm sure there are heaps of guys out there that would love to see you in your lingerie and see what a sexy lady you are. If the guy was playing the game the game would not be finished untill he completed the conquest so you can bet your bottom dollar his partner found out and put a stop to it. We'd love to see how sexy you look in your outfit so why not get back on the horse and put some pics up of you dressed up and let the prick know what he missed out on. All the best for the future.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've had one, I've talked to for years ....we play online ,we talk heaps......we going to meet then he never turns up ,then he did but somehow I wasn't good enough ......then he wanted to come back and chat....... then the other day said he'd found another play mate.........Men your all the same ,you just don't realize we girls may be on here for fun.... but we do have feelings and are very trusting!!!Be kind and honest with us........ and yes I am stupid I will let him back if he ever comes back ...... why cause he makes me laugh
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TrymeonForsize
12 years ago
I am blown away by your words of support & encouragement !!! Thank you for all the wonderful comments, they are much appreciated:) happily I can report that I'm back on the horse lol..... Ego intact...... New lingerie worn & now accompanied by more new lingerie ;). I think it was a good learning curve for me, and hope that I've gained some insight from it. Although I wasn't emotionally invested in this guy, I really really wanted to shag him, my libido took it very hard, all that anticipation leading up to our "play date" left my lady bits frowning for some time lol.....funnily enough Im not on RHP to find the next love of my life ( hard enough getting rid of the last one lol) and shall continue to work through my personal sexual bucket list with renewed gusto :) so again, thanks loads for your support, encouragement, empathy, compliments & best wishes......... Xxxxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Tryme I have read thru and couldnt agree more with all the comments All I can say is that we have spoken and exchanged PGs and I can 100% say it's not about any part of your body, you have a body made for worshiping mmmm Shame you had to farm out the kids because that time is so valuable and precious My only guess is the guy was an idiot - move on If for any reason (and it would have to be absolutely genuine - not my mates come over as that tells you what sort of person that is) I would have to raincheck it would be understandable - things come up, but I would let you know. I would never go that far down the track not to contact again - truly spineless. Obviously he wasn't a gentleman and he has done you a favour ;-) Glad you have been able to get back on the horse (or maybe cowboy !!) and had the opportunity to wear your new lingerie for dramatical effect Btw, happy valentines day for yday xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Maybe he died- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sounds like a married guy!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
So what are the reasons when females do this too guy's that they are supposedly keen on???- Posted from rhpmobile
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platinumblonde69
12 years ago
Maybe you gave him the confidence he needed to think "Wow...She thinks Im hot. I might try my luck with some others." If you were his first meet and things went so well, maybe he just is like a kid in a candy shop and has gone shopping for more. Have had this happen a few years ago myself. And I agree with pkplay....maybe he is married....and had second thoughts about getting too involved seeing you got on so well. Just some thoughts...But Im sure he has left the path clear for someone much more worthy....Plat
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