F52
Small town minds and the 'R' word ...
May 23 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
my inner Goddess has a bigger arsenal!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
obviously your rugby boys have big mouths........
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was looking to move to Cowra last year and even thought of it again last night ....what actually stopped me was the lack of men to play with in such a small town, and after seeing you here and knowing you come all the way to Sydney to play I realised that unless I had someone special to play with Im not coming.You knew from the start Paintme I have heard you say it before about your town and I am sorry but no matter where the fuck you are its the same. Women have a reputation...lol......why I dont know. I thought when I stumbled in here I had found an alterior universe I never knew existed. People could fuck who they liked and not be judged.But then I found out the hard way they wont introduce you to their friends or openly have a relationship with you your just not going to cut it. It portrays to be acceptable but even the swingers know they have to hide their secret. Maybe I will go back to wearing a Burka or the light go to church and pray for ??? I'm looking forward to hearing what others will say they will say go ahead and be you and you will and you should but no matter what it wont be equal or fair.
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RHP User
12 years ago
That's awful!! My gut says to just ignore it, it's none of their business and you are doing nothing 'wrong'. But those words are easy to say and less easy to do I would imagine. Society has a long way to go in accepting 'sex positive' women and religion just confuses that (in my opinion - no offense intended). Hope you find the answer that's best for you xx- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'ding26' obviously your rugby boys have big mouths........ I've a bigger mouth than anyone. I don't blame them a single bit. If it's good then celebrate it. Sheesh, when I have a fun night I want to share it. Don't we all learn from other's experiences? It's the judgemental attitude about a woman's sexuality I grapple with.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It really is a lovely town. I'm just not a fan of the archaic attitudes that I've seen thus far.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We also live in a small town, not that it only exists in small towns, just magnified maybe, because you do tend to have more of a community 'thing' going on. Just hold your head up high and don't take any notice of the gossip, it's gonna be next weeks fish and chip paper. You seem like a lovely person Paint me, with a gorgeous and funny personality, if people can't see that then f*** em'. You have to wonder sometimes why people can't get over a little sexy fun and see it for what it is... Just normal everyday people who enjoy the intimate company of other adults. Relationships are not everyone's cup of tea, particularly when you've been there, done that and it doesn't work for you. Don't let close minded people change you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well Paintme you know I just love to talk about it but I don't go around revealing people's real names. That is not on. So from me, it's a thumbs down to the Rugby boys. Or maybe you should tell us their names and we can all email them to tell them to shut the fuck up. Grrrr
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Paradisepair
12 years ago
I have decided the obvious answer for anyone who has a reputation to uphold on any level is that they all join the sex party.So first come out to your community by handing out leaflet's, letterbox dropping and generally promoting the cause of the Sex Party. And then once everyone's comfortable because they kind of understand politics and they've heard about the Sex Party before - any scandal that is then caused by your wantonly behavior is explained away as 'that's just Paintme' and was to be expected.I think it could actually work as an antidote to 'scandal'. But you'd have to be pre-preemptive. As for the here and now, there's not much you can do really. I'd invite both of the boys around again and give them a spanking! And maybe make sure you all go out on the town together, proudly.Don't wear anyone-else's shame or hang ups, you're just about 30 years ahead of society's acceptance. We all are. Something to be proud of really, paving the moral pathway for other sex-crazed individuals of the future.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Keep your head held high and carry on with what your doing. Would be interesting to know who the gossipers were. Maybe some jeolousy involved me thinks or spurned male egos. Same thing happens to me. Working on a mining camp as soon as you talk to a guy for more than 10 minutes its assumed your fucking him.
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RHP User
12 years ago
They don't know how it will impact you or your life. So it's a double thumbs down and a huge strapon up the arse to the Rugby boys. In all honesty I don't find it funny at all and unfortunately it impacts women greatly. Attitudes are especially harsh if you are a mother. It's the way of the world and It sucks.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I have a reputation as artist , wife,mother in a small town and I keep it that way as people will judge you, and it rolls over into other peoples lives, your business your friends all that counts in the real world rhp is just a small fraction of what you do, people who have nothing to loose are open about this life I have plenty to loose, and my reputation is one of those things some times the work I do as in gov jobs or in prisons or even teaching art, what do you think people will do if they found out about my sex life? and really its nobodys business , sure I blab on rhp but if it came back to biteme on the arse My life would be fucked,andnot in a good way as for your sister inlaw sure she isok withit when its out there in cyberland, and not in bumfuck small town where her reputation by mixing with you takes a hammering ladies and gentelmen................trust no one with your sex life at all. I only do with my female flat mate and another friendfrom my town,because they are already on rhp if you do not want to be tared and feathered and run out of town, then live like a nun in public and when people confront you with it, then look all outraged and say excuse me! that is a disgusting lie!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Tar and feather me baby. I'm relativitly new at this but I'm never going to shy away from my sexuality. I've earned it. As have we all.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Most people here think I'm an insensitive prick.....I'll plead the 5th- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
... But Rugby Boys are part of a Team . Of course they're gonna share the story with their Team Mates . Small Town people love to gossip. It's Currency . There's not much else to talk about , so they get involved in everyone else's lives . They twist stories to make themselves seem more interesting. HoHum... You're bigger than that ! Rise above it & use it to your advantage .- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sounds to me like your sister has now hit 'reality'... the possible effects upon herself and your family. It was all well and good when your 'rooting' around was something between you and her but now your 'risque' behaviour has become a 'risk' for her and the family as to how it will 'reflect' upon their 'reputation'.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sister-in-law
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RHP User
12 years ago
If it was two chicks and one guy..would that guy be considered a slut? Um no! He would be considered awesome! And the two girls would be considered the sluts! It is wrong is what it is! Don't worry, small talk equals small minds..x - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
so I will try again...it was similar to TR's,no surprise in that really because she and I have talked about this subject before. The reality is that I too live in a small town.I work at the same school my daughter teaches at.I am a private person and have no desire for people to know about my private life,but it seems that even if they don't ,they just make it up...recently I was ''seen'' holding hands with a man,news to me ,but there ya go. I know that it is unfair that you are being judged for expressing your sexuality,but it isn't just about you,it is about your family as well,particularly your children.Yes it is the 21st century but in small town bumfuck it is still 1860 and Scarlet letters are all the rage....play in Sydney, have the Secret Life of Paint Me,confide in your s.i.l no longer,and the next time a footy team is in town,choose the soccer boys,at least a couple of them might be European
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RHP User
12 years ago
I sometimes feel judged on RHP & I damn well know even the open minded city folk, although more worldly, still make some judgements and will not understand in a month of Sundays what group sex or that sort of sexual freedom is about. For instance I could not tell people at work or my family about the things I get up too. Even friends that love to hear the stories are shocked and I see flickers of disgust on their face on occasion.
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subgal_gc
12 years ago
More than once I know where you are coming from with the nasty things people will say. I was engaged and living in a small town (less than 200 people), with my now ex at the time. But if I even looked at someone else, be they a local guy or a tourist travelling thru town then I was shagging their brains out. Now that would have been a nice change, as I wasn't getting anything at home most weeks...but in this case I was innocent. But I was found guilty by the judge, jury and executioners in town and my reputation left in tatters which spilled over into my working life as when I went to work (in the next town over 400kms away) I was questioned about my morals and told if I was going to behave like that then I should be more circumspect. And as a couple of the others have pointed out Rugby boys will gossip (and are really worse than women about it) so perhaps they did have something to do with the sharing of information.Sorry that you have been made to feel like you should act like yourself. No one has the right to make you feel less than you are.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I totally understand your dilema. Obviously this has upset you, which means you are not impervious to what other people think. It's very easy to say don't let it get to you, and ofcourse, not caring what other people think is the ultimate position to take. It's clear from your post you can't just put this behind you. The reality of living and doing business in a small town is that they frequently make your business their business. It comes with the territory of being well known and little else happening in the town. Until early this year i chose not to reveal my face on here as i was in business and well known locally. I got around it by never playing locally. (other than one or two trusted lovers that had very good reasons to keep quiet themselves) Trust me, eventually people will find something newer and more interesting to talk about.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Small towns don't ya just love them, by the end of the week someone would have some new gossip to spread around town and you will be old news paintme, keep walking around with your head held high and if asked by someone about your personal life tell them its just that personal and has bugger all to do with them.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Whilst they re picking on you, someone else is getting a break! Grew up in a very small town, grew my own reputation then outgrew them all! Fuck em , head high sister, you are living your life...they're jealous !
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RHP User
12 years ago
We used to live in a beautiful little town too Paintme, so know exactly where you are comming from ! What you may actually be 'missing' is with all the talk going on about you & your 'dalliance', is that those wagging their tongues the most are just jealous that THEY weren't invited to special '2x young stud rugby players + them party' :-) The blokes are probably staying quiet in town about it, secretly wishing they were part of the 'party' with you ! You will never beat the small mindedness of little towns & the 'old families' that have been there for generations decreeing what is & what isn't 'acceptable'. So don't sweat the rumours, embrace them & remember that in most small towns, if you haven't heard a decent rumour by 10.30am, then start one !!! :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme'Tar and feather me baby. I'm relativitly new at this but I'm never going to shy away from my sexuality. I've earned it. As have we all. This too shall pass. And I'm looking forward to feathering you in two weeks!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Your Awesome and shouldn't let the narrow mindedness of the CWA worry you . I want to agree with inthekink that soon there will be some other juicy piece of gossip, but at the same time, I also agree with TR about the low profile thing. My advice is, keep on with your day to day stuff, keep smiling, and be your happy sexual self. I think that if you change the way you are then, the gossip tends to gather momentum because you can be seen to taken offence or you're trying to hide something. I reckon travel and play is a safe bet. Especially with some of the amazing people that you know here.Personally, I have been accused of things that I didn't do, It made my work and personal life difficult for a few weeks, but I didn't change a thing. I continued with my life. In a few weeks, the gossip slowed down, and the antagonist went of and made up some other piece of gossip...Jelaousy is a bitch huh...xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
All in the name of sexual liberation .. Living out our ideals is one thing, facing the reality is another . We somewhat fly under radar with this lifestyle and become comfortable with what we think no one will ever know about.. Then something happens that leaves us as bare as being naked in Pitt Street , with a rude awakening... Reputation ? I don't have a reputation, I conduct all my affairs in secrecy, ? Well yes'. That's until you fuck a few rugby players who tell everyone except you.. Being a ex rugby league player myself, I know exactly how it works... Take a deep breath , face up and deny it. It's none of their business anyway, . By pleading innocence, no one's 100% sure anyway... So bluff your way out.....
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Mr_MrsAraps
12 years ago
I've never lived a small town so my 2c....Do whatever makes you feel awesome and for anyone who has an issue then in all honesty.... fuck'em. If that means having two rugby players then do it. Hell take on the whole team if thats what floats your boat.I'll use another analogy of being in a un loving relationship. You wouldn't go back to a relationship that was sexually boring or someone who told and forced you how you act. You wouldn't take that from a person in a relationship so why should you let multiple people dictate to you about you.Cheers,W.
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
The stories I could tell you!! I've been the center of 2 men quite a few times n I will not stop doing it! The rugby boys - are people talking about them? Of course not - they are the studs! But there were 2 of them an only one you.... Shouldn't the talk be about them who may have had big mouths to focus their energy on telling ppl?? It will never matter what you do.... What you wear, say, eat! Or even have sex with! People are going to talk! And most ppl that talk are the ones who are so jealous that it didn't happen to them! Probably on the same night - people died, had their house broken into, a child abused, a wife beaten, a teenager drank underage, a girl committed suicide, a boy ran away from home - and the only thing they have to talk about is that you had a happy n enjoyable 3sum.... Well fuck me!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Araps and others that say go for it I feel that this may not be the best advice or at least not l. Of course Paintme should do what she wants but you have to make allowance for living in a small town. No matter how unfair it is, at the end of the day the things you do may affect your family, children, etc. It isn't anybodies business but unfortunately that doesn't stop people in a small town.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I posted that accidently before I was ready!! Arrhh. :(
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'I posted that accidently before I was ready!! Arrhh. :( Premature confabulation?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I find in such situations it is always helpful to Quote Eleanor RooseveltGreat minds discuss ideasAverage minds discuss eventsSmall minds discuss people.
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Mr_MrsAraps
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Araps and others that say go for it I feel that this may not be the best advice or at least not l. Of course Paintme should do what she wants but you have to make allowance for living in a small town. No matter how unfair it is, at the end of the day the things you do may affect your family, children, etc. It isn't anybodies business but unfortunately that doesn't stop people in a small town. As I mentioned...what the hell do I know about living in a small town....Point taken though.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Me either, so my advice is based on assumptions too. So no better or worse really.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Me thinks, classic insecurity. Sadly, no matter how free & supportive some are, when they're under pressure, insecurity raises its very ugly head. In the forms of all types of discrimination & in your case living your life your way. I would've gone home & cried like a baby, only to in a few hours, get up & think Fuck them. I would've only got to that point too as I think of a few people in history & recently, that did what they wanted & were crucified for it. Big hug for you PM :) xo
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sadly doesn't help you much, it's easy to say fuck the town, it's your life........ Glad I don't live in a small town. Hp xo
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RHP User
12 years ago
to be honest I dont think its just small towns, its in suburbia too-if you're a single woman-WATCH OUT! you are instantly a target for any single or married male apparently, and watch out if you're seen at a cafe or something, it well get around quickly! Mostly i think its jealousy.
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RHP User
12 years ago
My wife has had a fling with some players over here. They do talk and now is getting random friends request on FB. The small town gossip gives me the shits. Taxi drivers talk over here and you cant even take someone else home without the town knowing about it.Keep your head up and dont worry. They will be talking about someone else next week.
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RHP User
12 years ago
There's a 1000 people where I live just outside Canberra, every Monday morning there's a new story going round about someone who did something or someone you normally only have to wait 7 days and your out of the firing line so hang in there don't bow to their 12 finger mentality
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RHP User
12 years ago
I just don't get this whole chest beating syndrome. If I score in the bedroom, that's more than enough for me. Why would I think I needed to go around town telling everyone who or what I have done.I personally think sex is _way_ better when kept strictly between the consenting participants (no matter how many there are at the time). When you walk at the room, close the door and close your mouth.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme'Tar and feather me baby. I'm relativitly new at this but I'm never going to shy away from my sexuality. I've earned it. As have we all. shy away from your sexuality just dont make yourself a target. when people throw mud, they can often hit the people around you as well
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RHP User
12 years ago
and on behalf of my kids (the way they might feel having their friends talking about their mummy and daddy) rather than the possibility of the mud that might be flung at them, I practice it! I sure as Hell wouldn't want to hear nasty gossip about my family members.As someone said back there, you know what your little town is like.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Could it be way your upset is because it came from your SIL?? Could it had been the way she said it and how she said it to you?? I only ask cause sometimes when it comes from people we admire and are close to, (meaning our inner circles) it sort of hits home deeper...more real emotions are attached.. FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Once again Miss Meeka has hit it on the head, you can talk without naming people, something I do all the time too. You need a confidentiality agreement. Okay, so that is not very practical or helpful at all...If it was with both men at the same time it is probably going to be worse as this is not mainstream sex in society's eyes... Boy wouldn't half the stuff we talk about here just make their little minds boggle. My only practical suggestion, just do onesies locally, you're single and just seeking a casual relationship, big deal! But leave the threesomes, foursomes and more domes for Sydney. It will blow over, someone else will do something that's the talk of the town soon.
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RHP User
12 years ago
If the Rugger Buggers had crossed swords , perhaps this story would never have seen the light of day ;) GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I would have replied earlier but it took my sorry self of to bed at a ridiculously early hour last night. I will definitely admit that I should have seen it coming and my impulsive behavior bit me on the bum. I broke my own rule of not playing at home, only in Sydney. There was a reason I had that rule at the start and that is I knew the consequences. I've learned my lesson. The fact is that I live in a community and I am not selfish or irresponsible enough to think I can operate outside of social norms. I will however, continue to bend them just a little ;-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Nudierudie2' I find in such situations it is always helpful to Quote Eleanor RooseveltGreat minds discuss ideasAverage minds discuss eventsSmall minds discuss people.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Paintme, We all break the rule of not playing at home but sometimes we get caught up in the moment. Here in Parkes my x and I got tarnished with the old omg are you swingers? After about the 10th time of people asking we would just say yes, but what is of your business? It was a life we chose and enjoyed! Like everyone else said you will be old news by Saturday night! Keep your chin up!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
OMG Bliss that is so fucken true about mining camps been there in that narrow mind fucked up attitude of immature people.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Have to agree with you Ding 26 People that are judgemental and fucked up attitudes are jealous
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RHP User
12 years ago
I notice amongst the responses we all have the "fuck everyone else's opinion and what they think" attitude......but I wonder just if that same attitude would be expressed and administered if the topic was "why don't we have face pics in the public gallery??" Seems hypocrisy is alive and well here in RHP land.....- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
That i was taught when i started out on this journey several years ago. NEVER play with someone who has less to lose than you do. It might sound cynical, but it's stood me in good stead.
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Lifes_great
12 years ago
Quoting 'karynb' That i was taught when i started out on this journey several years ago. NEVER play with someone who has less to lose than you do. It might sound cynical, but it's stood me in good stead.sound advice
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RHP User
12 years ago
OP All I can say is hold your head high and don't take shit from anyone. The old world attitudes to sex and sexuality will never be changed if we all hide behind the insecure attitudes and small minded bigotry of time past. Show these people that a woman's sexuality is power, walk with pride and feel sorry for the few narrow minded ones that are lost in their prudish asexual reputations. Deep down we all know that the "R" word is born from envy.Sock it to them girl. :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Seems like small town minds exist on RHP too. *thumbs down*
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme' Seems like small town minds exist on RHP too. *thumbs down* I have no idea what thread you are referring to PM. But in general, I and many forumites I've met and spoken to have always considered the forums to be something of a microcosm of real life, bearing in mind small minds don't just exist in small towns... The forums are something of a small town unto themselves though with the gossip and nastiness that goes down on a regular basis.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'sirlurkalot' I notice amongst the responses we all have the "fuck everyone else's opinion and what they think" attitude......but I wonder just if that same attitude would be expressed and administered if the topic was "why don't we have face pics in the public gallery??" Seems hypocrisy is alive and well here in RHP land.....- Posted from rhpmobile Not all
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RHP User
12 years ago
I meant Innerwests thread. On top of all this shit I spilt a glass of wine al over my MacBook last night. :-(
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RHP User
12 years ago
& be proud that you are comfortable with your sexuality & are able to be yourself, no one has the right to dictate to you how you should lead your life, you are not hurting anyone but yet they are hurting you with their small minded, bitter opinions, I believe they are just jealous that you are able to go out, live your life & enjoy it & they are to scared too because they fear being judged themselves .....or they are just mindless sheep, incapable of thinking for themselves & enjoying life!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'sirlurkalot'I notice amongst the responses we all have the "fuck everyone else's opinion and what they think" attitude......but I wonder just if that same attitude would be expressed and administered if the topic was "why don't we have face pics in the public gallery??" Seems hypocrisy is alive and well here in RHP land.....- There are a great number of face pics in the public galleries of members who posted on this thread. I'm of the "Fuck them" persuation, and like to put my money where my mouth is. Great seeing there are many of us.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Anyone worth a rats arse of your time and consideration isn't concerned about your reputation
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme' I meant Innerwests thread. On top of all this shit I spilt a glass of wine al over my MacBook last night. :-( Well that sucks! I still remember the time I spilt coffee on my laptop and I couldn't get online at all for a day or so. I'm much more careful these days!!!Thanks for explaining about Innerwest's thread... I'm not sure where it was at when you posted before but it sure looks like there's a general lack of understanding going on there. It's such a shame that humankind seem to be so poorly at communicating.I'm feeling quite mellow at the moment after attending a sex toy/product party tonight and I'm shocked at the general ignorance towards sex!!! The women at the party around my age who weren't at all educated about sex including such basics as menstruation. Some of them didn't even like handling the vibrators! It's terribly sad. I gave them my, 'sex is good for you' spiel lolol... something I do truly believe. If it's not hurting anyone, I can't see anything against what people get up to. To think buggery used to be a crime punishable by death! I'm sorry for what is going on in your town, I don't think it is anybodies business but yours and and your bed partner/s really (assuming you're not hurting ayone) and I'm sorry that sex is such a drama when it can be a natural bodily function that is actually good for us in so many ways. The double standards suck that if it was a man the gossip would be totally different. Stick by your rules though, you made them for a very good reason and as unfair as that is, you ending up feeling miserable is even more unfair.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Reputation is I think simply other people's judgement of you. In your judgement of them, how relevent is their judgement of you? You can't control what they think aside from adjusting your behaviour to suit and that is surely not satisfying. I've been warned in the forums about my reputation before which has given me a lot of thought to question what my reputation is and just how important is it to me to live up to others expectations, assuming I understand what they are. I'm a narky bitch who has had a lifetime of other people's judgements/misjudgements and the impossibilty of living up to other people's expectations as I understand them while remaining true to myself. I've been having sex for as long as I can remember and I really don't have any problem with that as long as I felt I wasn't hurting anyone else... and no one was hurting me. My judgement is what I live with day in and day out, and surely that is the most important thing. Something I meant to mention in my other post is that I had an appt with a councellor this week who didn't even know what giving head is!!! WTF??? Really??? I'm not sure I can counsel with someone who has no idea about what to me is such a common term. It's late, I've had a couple of drinks, I hope my late night/early morning ruminations make sense to you. Cheers, don't let them win. xXx
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'sirlurkalot' I notice amongst the responses we all have the "fuck everyone else's opinion and what they think" attitude......but I wonder just if that same attitude would be expressed and administered if the topic was "why don't we have face pics in the public gallery??" Seems hypocrisy is alive and well here in RHP land.....- Posted from rhpmobile We are not all as good looking as you so best to put our best side forward. LOL would not want to scare of the wild life.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'll definitely be sticking to my rules from now on. I have another question though. Do we get too comfortable in this lifestyle that we forget other peoples boundaries and just become selfish? I was chatting with a fellow forumite recently about this. We were discussing does our behaviour and interactions become so normalised for us that we forget that we still have to operate in a very vanilla world? does our 'normal' become sooooooooo abnormal that we frighten people? Or is that just me? I apologise for the shiity formatting. I've become addicted to my paragraphs and emoticons. Please apple gods SAVE MY MACBOOK!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm really sorry to hear that this happened, considering it was us you were out with us that night discussing the lifestyle so openly. The small town syndrome is why we won't play with locals. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, not everyone is willing to keep it to themselves, and we do have to be mindful of how we are perceived and judged. With the jobs myself and my girl have, public opinion of ourselves does unfortunately come into it and while we are not ashamed you do have to think of the muggles.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme' does our 'normal' become sooooooooo abnormal that we frighten people? I'm afraid of this too! I really want to tell my vanilla friends about my adventures, and sometimes almost do. However, some of them can't even get over the fact that I'm seeing more than one man, let alone that I'm seeing them together... My colleague Donna's password on our drug dispensing computer system is DP. Must...keep...mouth tightly shut... It's hard!
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RHP User
12 years ago
:-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
:-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
It is something I've wondered about considering how differently I think since first joining RHP 6-7 years ago. I've always had a strong interest in sex, a big mouth and more experience than I should have or was acceptable though but didn't know of so many things like fisting and used to wonder what it was that made a gay person gay thinking that maybe it had to do hormones or some such thing and now I see it not a set in stone sort of thing. I had to hold my tongue some at the toy/product party last night lol, I'm so outspoken. But my girl was the consultant and I had to show some decorum LOL. Just for a change. The idea of anal sex was laughable and one of the women fairly copped having jokes cracked at her expense most of the night. People seem to be uncomfortable about the idea of sex outside the norm. Anal's not my thing either but it is for some people as are a lot of things I'm not into but if they're not impinging on anyone else, that's not a problem for me. I did come up with one comment that had people looking at me twice though. One of the products helps to numb the anus for anal sex and I made the point (thank you RHP) that it pays to be careful that damage isn't caused by tearing that might not be felt because of the numbing cream. I was reassured by the women though that plenty of lube would take care of that! LOL, not all is lost ;-). The women were agog at the size of one of the vibrators though LOL and I resisted the urge to point out that a fist is much bigger than that!!! 3:-DSo... selfish, I'm not so sure but maybe more accepting/normalised as you said. That would be a question worthy of a topic of it's own I reckon. I'd love to see an attitude change towards sex. I can't think of how theesomes and such I had in the decade before I got married and that was in the eighties hehehe!!! My normal has always been abnormal and joining RHP has simply educated me more about sex practices and people's attitudes. Lucky Pertth is a big place eh.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've fallen for that one... apparently it also stands for display pic Which reminds me of the time I had a boobie pic as my DP on windows live, I kept trying to change/delete it after I added someone that I really didn't want to see it... and it kept sending a message to my contacts with pic attached. I learned to separate my accounts!!! One of the good things about RHP though is that I've learned not to be so secretive about my past, it is how I became who I am and a relief to not always be so vague about that.
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cbdlivin
12 years ago
This is such a familiar story, trying to be discreet can be so difficult and of course if you have family etc there it makes it even more important to be discreet. I know a really nice guy who runs a business in a country town where he is a pillar of the community and respected, but if they found out he was gay, as he put it to me a christian lynching could take place so he has to be very discreet.Anyhow in so many ways we need to be honest about who we are but keeping that information from our family is just as important. My family would be horrified if they found out what I am into, so I am always discreet but accept the fact if they do find out I will just deal with it as it comes along. In the end for the really kinky times you might have to come to Sydney, but of course with sports teams you are just showing how welcoming people in your town are.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You're a legend in our books..Just think...Some of those people will be imagining your exploits as their boring partner ploughs away at them, and their imagination will be the thing that brings them off....All thanks to...You.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_Devious' Quoting 'paintme' does our 'normal' become sooooooooo abnormal that we frighten people? I'm afraid of this too! I really want to tell my vanilla friends about my adventures, and sometimes almost do. However, some of them can't even get over the fact that I'm seeing more than one man, let alone that I'm seeing them together... My colleague Donna's password on our drug dispensing computer system is DP. Must...keep...mouth tightly shut... It's hard! I was discussing this with a couple last night. They have only just told one of their good friends about their 'extracurricular activities' because she's pretty open minded and would probably even want to join in given the chance, but by and large they have to try and be discreet. That is very difficult when every time they come to Townsville and meet up with playmates, they run into friends and have to make up some story about who these other people are that they're with, lol.I don't find it as bad being a single female, but I'm still well aware that some people wouldn't look favourably on some of the things I'm doing and want to do. I've told a couple uni friends, I think mainly because I know they don't know any of my other friends to go and blab to.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paintme' I'll definitely be sticking to my rules from now on. I have another question though. Do we get too comfortable in this lifestyle that we forget other peoples boundaries and just become selfish? I was chatting with a fellow forumite recently about this. We were discussing does our behaviour and interactions become so normalised for us that we forget that we still have to operate in a very vanilla world? does our 'normal' become sooooooooo abnormal that we frighten people? Or is that just me? I apologise for the shiity formatting. I've become addicted to my paragraphs and emoticons. Please apple gods SAVE MY MACBOOK!!! I think we sometimes can become complacent. The fact that we discuss sex on a daily basis on this forum and with other RHP members has become the norm for us. Over time, things that you hardly even knew existed prior to joining RHP have slowly become the norm. We listen to people's experiences and adventures, their kinks, for some of us we start to attend events, swingers clubs and sex parties and over time this becomes nothing that outrageous at all. Sometimes it is a little easy to forget that this is not the norm. It's easy to forget that this behaviour is deeply shocking for many people. A lot of people wouldn't dream of discussing sex let alone experimenting. I suppose we can thank "50 Shades of Grey" for at least getting the subject onto the global stage some what. Paintme, from discussing these sorts of topics with friends and my years of reading the forums and to other RHPers I can say that lots of people in the world would assume that we are all degenerates, that we are perverted, that most of us must have suffered some sort of abuse maybe even sexual abuse at some point - this is in particular for those into BDSM, that we have no self esteem, that we sell ourselves cheaply, that we are sluts, that we will have sex with just anyone, etc etc. sSwinging, group sex, open relationships, etc are just not understood by most people. Hell I didn't really understand it before I joined RHP. People don't get it at all.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Ms_Devious' I'm afraid of this too! I really want to tell my vanilla friends about my adventures, and sometimes almost do. However, some of them can't even get over the fact that I'm seeing more than one man, let alone that I'm seeing them together... I wouldn't have thought seeing more than one guy at a time would be that shocking. But I also have some incredibly conservative straight friends as well. Imagine if you tell them you are having threesomes. With bi-sexual men!! I remember a friend of mine didn't catch herself in time and I clearly heard the "Gross that is disgusting" comment. Yet she will grill me about my sex life all the time, she wants to hear all about it. Some other friends of mine were asking how a threesome worked... Do I have sex with one man while the other watches, then the other guy gets a turn? I seriously couldn't make them understand how a group of people can enjoy foreplay all together at the same time. In the end I told her well we all have more than one hole don't we. I can only imagine how dull her sex life is - I do remember her telling me at one stage that lots of couples view oral sex as a treat... nothing something you do all the time. WTF!!!!!!!. What really annoys me is the ignorance and even if I try and tell them what is like, it is like talking to a brick wall. I have one friend who used to insist that I text her when I got home from CC, just to make sure I was safe, I have tried telling her CC is less sleazy than a nightclub/pub and it is much safer than taking a man you have only just met home for the night. Something she was a big fan of in her hey day. Another comment I hear a lot if is "Oh I would never go to a swingers club because I am very fussy with who I have sex with". ~Gasp~ NO! Really? Well what does that say about me then? The fact is half the time I have probably slept with less men that the person making the comment. It is one of my pet hates, can not stand that people assume when you go to a sex party or swingers club you have to have sex with everybody. I mean what the fuck is wrong with people??? Why would anyone have sex with someone if they didn't want to? I certainly never have and the fact I go to a swingers club makes no difference. Rant over.. Sorry.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think I have just understood something. Good friend of mine is having an affair with a married man, and neither of them can understand the threesome thing and how it works. Now I understand. If oral sex is not part of what they do together... what do they do? Some kissing them straight into full intercourse? No wonder they don't understand how people can play together as a group. Sheesh I feel sorry for some people.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's true Paintme that we forget that this isn't the "real world" we live in....for most people. I don't think we become selfish, we just rationalise and normalise our behaviour, that's normal human behaviour. PS. from what i know and have seen........I don't think you have a selfish bone in your body Quoting 'paintme'I'll definitely be sticking to my rules from now on. I have another question though. Do we get too comfortable in this lifestyle that we forget other peoples boundaries and just become selfish?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Xxx seriously, you can all be my 'normal' everyday of the week.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yes I was having the "what have you been up to" conversation with a mate recently and as I let forth I could see his face glazing over.It wasn't "wow" and it wasn't "disgust", more like "I really don't know if I need to hear this"Oops
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RHP User
12 years ago
because I lie every time I'm asked "So how was your weekend in Sydney?"
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RHP User
12 years ago
Reputation is what others believe to be true about you. Personal honor is what you know to be true about yourself and you are still ok with it. Gaurd your honor and let your reputation fall where it will. Mark- Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Hold your gorgeous head high and deny deny deny. But the two "boys" involved have now raised you to legend status. A quote comes to mind ""If it's an abomination, it's because you're doing it wrong. Bear down hard, then relax. It'll fit better." Fuck em Paintme they just jealous.- Posted from rhpmobile
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Playful2looking
12 years ago
Sorry its the rugby boys fault they showed no respect for you by running around town talking. They didn't care about your feelings. Had a great time bonking you but only saw you as a skank or they wouldn't have talked and told every one about how they had sex with you. Surely a bit of descrete sex should be kept private because there are people who still can't cope with sexuall freedom. Gossip sinks ships as well as peoples reputation. I am afraid that soceity will never acept stuff like this. Gay; bi men or sexy hot women have to be descrete. Its a shame but true. I get it that you hate lying about your sexuality. I wish that everyone that spreads rumours could be zapped with a cattle prod until they lose that habit.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'lickandsuck123' I wish that everyone that spreads rumours could be zapped with a cattle prod until they lose that habit. Why do I have a feeling cattle prods are next on paintme's Fucket List?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Or are people just filling in the gaps? Did your sisters response come from you telling her or did she hear it in the local checkout line? Possibly I should have read though all 5 pages of comments to see if these questions were answered. It's probably all going to be forgotten about next month if it is gossip..Tip; Only shag the forwards. Those blokes have so much trouble with their "words" that most folk have no Idea what they are saying anyway. Any gossip will stop at the language barrier.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'LittleRedEngine' Or are people just filling in the gaps? Did your sisters response come from you telling her or did she hear it in the local checkout line? Possibly I should have read though all 5 pages of comments to see if these questions were answered. It's probably all going to be forgotten about next month if it is gossip..Tip; Only shag the forwards. Those blokes have so much trouble with their "words" that most folk have no Idea what they are saying anyway. Any gossip will stop at the language barrier. I'm so cracking up I nearly had a wee !
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RHP User
12 years ago
So you get the reputation and the guys come out Heroes? I suppose it could be worse and they are army and get a nice video of you on the internet. In time it will blow over, unfortunately small town mentality will not change for some
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