M65
Smokers - am I unreasonable?
July 24 2015
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
Its not unreasonable at all. Im a smoker, and totally respect a non smoker's choice to not get intimate.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Smoking can set off my asthma, I think you are being quite reasonable.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Many people won't play with us because I'm a smoker, fat, ugly and drink. Each to their own but I ain't changing for nobody and nor should you.
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RHP User
9 years ago
and don't play with smokers for the same reason as you .... not to say that I can't be friends with smokers just not intimate. As a caring and respectful partner she should consider your preferences so you have every right to ask. LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
and being around smokers makes my eyes water and my nose block up. I don't think you are being unreasonable as this isn't just a dislike it's a health issue.
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RHP User
9 years ago
You left out the "frustratingly argumentative". I've been in your company many times and you are very polite and don't smoke around non smokers. I have lts of friends who smoke but I couldnt be with someone who smoked because of my health. OP I think your partner is being a teeny bit selfish.
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RHP User
9 years ago
its a definite deal breaker for us.......I can't think of anything worse.......oh maybe stale alcohol.......... I think sharing your body with someone is an intimate sensual thing, I would want to feel, smell and taste as fresh as I can.....would rather leave that as a memory as opposed to an ashtray.........but each to their own......
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NawtyNNice777
9 years ago
as an on and off smoker, I understand both sides. When I'm off, don't get the stuff, the smell, or anyone who smokes near me. When I'm on, I fully understand why people don't like it. It's a foul smell and let's be honest, who wants to make out with an ashtray? Certainly if the smell triggers your asthma, in my humble opinion your wife is the one being unreasonable given it's a health issue. NN xxx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
concerned about her level of entitlement.....it's bordering disrespecting your boundaries.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not harsh. I smoke socially when I have a drink in my hand - and it's completely reasonable. Just like any other prerequisites you may need to be attracted to someone.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Partouze,which is French for gang bang..A different situation I think to a threesome or even foursome..I have no idea how or why smokers or non smokers would factor in to this situation ...but I guess you won't be kissing any of the participants..your profile is locked so I have no idea of your sexual proclivities OP..but good luck in your search for a non smoking GB team xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
There is this great sentence you can use when asked to do something you are not comfortable with, or when you feel your wishes are not being respected. It's "No". Good luck x
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Twisted_Mister
9 years ago
Stirry on this one, although mine's a slightly different demographic than the OP as I'm flying solo (and crashing and burning, as the case may be!). But I don't think, if playing with a partner and she said she could do what she liked and I could just put up with anything I found objectionable, that I would find that acceptable. If - and hypothetically, mind - I was told to just put up with toothless, halitosis-ridden people to play with while my (imaginary) partner took on the buffed up other half of the other crew... I reckon I might have a few words to say. It's supposed to be a great experience for all four people. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
...and still think that quitting is one of the most responsible things I've ever done.I dont detest the smell...I quite like the aroma of burning tobacco, in fact. Not so much cigars though.But it's not a deal-breaker for me at all...I don't care for stinky cigarette breath either, but being a smoker doesn't mean your breath has to stink. It just takes a little effort on their part to avoid being offensive. Political correctness can go shove...if I'm with someone who want's to have a smoke to unwind, then good for them...I'm not going to run inside to save my 2 extra minutes of life from second hand smoke. But these choices are individual even in a relationship...of course it's not unreasonable to put your own priorities first. That's the beauty of free will.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think that she's not considering your feelings and being a bit selfish. If I knew my partner was just putting up with it so I could enjoy myself, I wouldn't enjoy it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
hate it and i definitely wouldn't kiss one totally gross
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RHP User
9 years ago
Kissing someone who tastes or smells like cigarettes is revolting to me. I generally wont play with smokers, although I do make exceptions if they have had a mint or something, and don't stink like smoke. I don't bother with anyone on here who is a smoker, its too much of a turn off. Yuck.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'tree_nymphs' its a definite deal breaker for us.......I can't think of anything worse.......oh maybe stale alcohol.......... I think sharing your body with someone is an intimate sensual thing, I would want to feel, smell and taste as fresh as I can.....would rather leave that as a memory as opposed to an ashtray.........but each to their own...... Totally agree, I wont play with a smoker, unless they have had a mint or something and don't stink. So off putting. Yuck.
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RHP User
9 years ago
...it's often considered icky to lock lips with one who smokes...shame on them. But if lips and tongues have been shoved up anus's, in vaginas and wrapped around penis's then that's not worth mention. Because that's a lot more hygienic...right? Or maybe that just tastes better....and that's what the fuss is all about.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Smoking smells. I detest it...... It gets into your hair, clothes - and it's just YUK! I'm eternally grateful that it's not a habit that I took up in my youth!
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chevtrek
9 years ago
I and the girls are smokers yet we have no problemswith swinging in all age groups.I can not comment if I was a non smoker but I do carry mints and so do the girls.While on the subject--I had surgery in October last yearand was told by the surgeon/doctor and physio that it would take 12 or more months to heal because I smoke.All cant explain why I have already healed from surgeryso don't believe all they say.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Nothing is unreasonable, you have every right to want what you want. The problem is off course if your wife agrees with your request. Its not about the reasonableness of a request, it is about the reasonableness of the demand you put on other people to do what you want. If she says she wants to play with smokers, and you say no, there is going to be an issues. We all have expectations, but that goes both ways and will require compromise. So what is reasonable, that you don't compromise and its your way or the highway, or is there a middle ground. The merit of the cause is not at issue, it is the compromise that you expect from your wife, and she of you. That can only be solved via comunication
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RHP User
9 years ago
She- I'm perfectly fine and I'm doing perfectly okayYou- inhale and compromise your health and belief's for.. ?at some point do you step -out and smell the fresh air - roses.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Feels like there is some context is missing in your question, as it seems too simple. Of course what your deal breakers are on a sexual partner, whatever they are, are yours and should be respected. But... Then I googled partouze ... a gang bang. So I wonder what you're idea of this scenario is, for you and your wife. It might make some difference on whether someone is a smoker or not. Is it going to be that it your wife that is the focus of multiple partners, with you by the side? You state you don't like it on their breath - fair enough (me too!) but will you be kissing these people, or just your wife? Or is it just fucking and no kissing, are you apart of the scenario and mainly watching? Has this been a difficult idea to organise, and now smoking seems (to your wife) non important to get the thing up and running? Draw me a picture LeClerc
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'chevtrek'I can not comment if I was a non smoker but I do carry mints and so do the girls. Maybe I have particularly sensitive smell and taste senses, but it doesn't matter how many times a smoker brushes their teeth or how many mints they consume, I can still smell / taste it. It just seems to infiltrate right into people's pores or something. Nothing can hide it, but maybe that's just me.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Ignore previous comment heading, don't know what was going on there.
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RHP User
9 years ago
as an ex smoker I'll concur with that.... Even after 20 odd days of being a non smoker I was still smelling myself....lol as bad as that sounds....but dear me.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
One lovely guy didn't smoke all day before our evening date, and the smell of cigarettes was still all over him. It's like how people can reek of booze after a big night, no matter how well they've showered and brushed their teeth. The smell oozes out of their pores.
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RHP User
9 years ago
OP you are not being unreasonable...far from it! She needs to stop being so selfish or go her own way. Quoting 'Stirry' as an ex smoker I'll concur with that.... Even after 20 odd days of being a non smoker I was still smelling myself....lol as bad as that sounds....but dear me.... - Posted from rhpmobile Yes Sir it does take time time to de-tox your system, I hope your still a non-smoker.
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RHP User
9 years ago
And she is happy with smokers, then shouldn't that be ok with you? Most of the posters here seem to think you are being asked to be with a smoking partner of one of the partouziens which doesn't make sense. You are not being asked to be with a smoker, as I read your original post.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' Quoting 'chevtrek'I can not comment if I was a non smoker but I do carry mints and so do the girls. Maybe I have particularly sensitive smell and taste senses, but it doesn't matter how many times a smoker brushes their teeth or how many mints they consume, I can still smell / taste it. It just seems to infiltrate right into people's pores or something. Nothing can hide it, but maybe that's just me. no, I think most non-smokers who aren't around smoke frequently are like you - I know I am, so are my family and friends. At best, the mints just mix with smoke and you get "smoke with a hint of mint"
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madotara69
9 years ago
The idea is to stick the mints up in yer nose, then whack the back of your head to make sure they get right up in there.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Or put some blobs of Vicks under your nostrils like people working with decomposing bodies. ;-)
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RHP User
9 years ago
yep going on 70 days now 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Pretty sure if anyone could smell those events on someone they wouldn't be getting much action either.... Is that how cigars got the name stogie ? Smells similar??!!!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Bedroombandits' And she is happy with smokers, then shouldn't that be ok with you? Most of the posters here seem to think you are being asked to be with a smoking partner of one of the partouziens which doesn't make sense. You are not being asked to be with a smoker, as I read your original post. I think it doesn't make a difference whether the OP watches from a corner or, say, is asked to French-kiss the participants. He states he finds the smell of cigarettes on people difficult to deal with, and you saying he "should be ok with it" if he's not the one fucking the smokers is dismissing his feelings, imo. For some people just being in a closed room with smokers is enough to affect their breathing, myself included. (And they don't have to be smoking at the time).
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Stirry' yep going on 70 days now 😊
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose'At best, the mints just mix with smoke and you get "smoke with a hint of mint" My mum used to smoke menthols, that's what that reminds me off.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'tree_nymphs' Pretty sure if anyone could smell those events on someone they wouldn't be getting much action either.... Is that how cigars got the name stogie ? Smells similar??!!! Something like that . Look...everyone's entitled to voice their opinions, and I'm all for that. But often when this topic is raised, I smell more than a hint of hypocrisy in the air.The pastime of smoking has been so tarred with the brush of distaste these days that I think some will just say what they think their peers want to hear.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm a reformed smoker, so some would say the worst hypocrites ...haven't smoked for 16 years now... I hear what you're saying but seriously , people say they don't like the taste of smoke because someone else doesn't?? Think I just heard the recess bell??!!!! .......😝
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think it's only hypocrisy when you accuse someone of something you do yourself, not something you did a long time ago. (The majority of parents would be raging hypocrites in that case). Just my opinion.
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RHP User
9 years ago
You are entitled to say no smokers... and your partner should respect that, considering it does effect your health your partner should be respectful of that... As for smokers... i dont like them, (particularly if they've just had a smoke) it tastes like your kissing an ashtray :-( sorry smokers! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I am allergic to cig smoke i can smell and taste the toxins oozing for a person's skin no matter how many times they have tried to clean themselves. And even worse is when they try to cover it up with perfumes which i am also allergic to. So I wont meet a smoker even the "occasionals". Also it is a respect thing if you have a few boundaries to your open relationship that should be respected neither partner should be doing anything that upset or makes the other one uncomfortable. Afterall you are still meant to be a partnership even if your sex life is liberal.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Stirry' yep going on 70 days now 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile Keep up the good work !
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blackie251
9 years ago
My biggest problem with smokers is that you can taste it in their pussies if they smoke heavily, puts me right off from my best work 😜
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've been out with a smoker nice person Good sex the bad side was kissing I was avoiding her kisses it reeks of cigarette I love kissing and that was ruining my moments Ultimately I couldn't keep up with avoiding Knowing at the back of my head something important is missing - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
" the practice of claiming to have higher standards or more noble beliefs than is the case".
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wetrynplease
9 years ago
Sorry, deal breaker for both of us... Not unreasonable OP... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'tree_nymphs' I'm a reformed smoker, so some would say the worst hypocrites ...haven't smoked for 16 years now... I hear what you're saying but seriously , people say they don't like the taste of smoke because someone else doesn't?? I didn't say that. You said that.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Koolgrey'" the practice of claiming to have higher standards or more noble beliefs than is the case". What is your point? Are the non-smokers here claiming to have higher standards or more noble beliefs than they do? What does that mean? Unless you're referring to this: Quoting 'Koolgrey'The pastime of smoking has been so tarred with the brush of distaste these days that I think some will just say what they think their peers want to hear. But then what does following the herd with opinions about a behaviour have anything to do with any of the above? According to that logic people averse to smoking actually do have higher standards or morals, and those paying lip-service are pretending they do too. I've heard no one say they're better people in any way than smokers.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I get the feeling she doesnt really care what you want.. she is going to do what she wants and thats just that.. yours is very reasonable request.. her answer is very unreasonable.. good luck
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RHP User
9 years ago
Let's face it, smokers STINK! Their breath stinks, their hair smells, their clothes stink, guy's cum tastes revolting and women's pussies do not taste sweet at all. No shampoos or toothpaste can hide the smell either. I think you should tell her it's "no smoking" or "no sex". And as for having no respect for your health, she should be given a really big spanking :-D Good luck. MrsSAF xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Satisfyafantasy' Let's face it, smokers STINK! Their breath stinks, their hair smells, their clothes stink, guy's cum tastes revolting and women's pussies do not taste sweet at all. No shampoos or toothpaste can hide the smell either. I think you should tell her it's "no smoking" or "no sex". And as for having no respect for your health, she should be given a really big spanking :-D Good luck. MrsSAF xx Same with fat people. No amount of deodourant can hide the BO. Oh and people who eat oranges...I hate the smell of oranges too so if you eat oranges you're definitely on our dealbreaker list unless you can hide the smell somehow.
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madotara69
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Or put some blobs of Vicks under your nostrils like people working with decomposing bodies. ;-) All for practical solutions.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Satisfyafantasy' Let's face it, smokers STINK! Quoting 'The_3somes' Same with fat people. No amount of deodourant can hide the BO. Just when I say this thread is about behaviour and no people are being slammed, you two find it necessary to prove the opposite. I personally find that pathetic.
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RHP User
9 years ago
...has it been statistically proven using reliable methods that semen and vaginal fluids taste revolting and smell stinky from smokers as opposed to those who don't smoke? Opinions are one thing, and I respect them when it's made clear that's all they are at the end of the day...but ego bashing smokers as if they are the next pariahs of society is ugly and unnecessary. It's no coincidence that this unpleasant trend from some is more prevalent in a time when smoking is increasingly frowned upon. It's this ugly herd mentality that I'm alluding to and what disgusts me.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think you're reading too much into this one. What do you think is a major reason that smoking is increasingly frowned upon? In addition to the health issues, it's because a lot of people hate the smell and taste associated with it. So it's not surprising that a lot of people are saying that here. I really don't think it's a herd mentality thing in this case. It would be different if people were claiming some sort of moral superiority to smokers, but they aren't. They are expressing their distaste for the habit, not the person. I think you may be confusing the two.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Talking about the smell / taste of smoking not being statistically proven is just a strawman, and a rather pointless one at that. We're talking about personal preferences here...not something objective that can be measured and quantified.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I could have started with "I think smokers STINK". It is my personal opinion. I feel sorry for the Op that he has had to put up with his partner's wants, at the expense of his health. I imagined myself in a similar scenario and what it would be like and how I would feel. And I would not like it! I don't judge people by the fact that they smoke, but I'm certainly not interested in sharing a bed with them anymore. And from my experience, Having played with smokers and non smokers alike, I think a smoker's juices taste much worse. My opinion only. MrsSAF
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madotara69
9 years ago
I call it, Luck Dragon. Remember when Paul Hogan use to campaign too the tourist industry representing the Australian way, 'Throw another shrimp on the barbie', 'anyhow have a Winfield' It was once whoever won the advertising rights with the footy with cigarettes became the most palatable or addictive too the crowds'n kids, NSW.. Winfield, Victoria had Viscount too, Queensland, can't remember but Mullumbimby Madness was a hit. When it became frowned upon, I saw that the chemicals that were being put into tobacco (sulphates in our systems and out of our pores) in which helped the tobacco burn faster and at a hotter temperature for delivering the nicotine into our system. So we became healthier smokers and took too aromatic roll your own tobacco with rolly papers without the blue stripes. Use too be able to purchase cigarettes for 5c each at the local milk bar at 13years old. We have paid so much tax on tobacco that it's not fair to say we have not contributed to the health thing either. Sometimes we are objectified for something that was the Australian way.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I really don't want to get into a big debate over all the intricacies and hypocrisies (yes I know they exist) when it comes to smoking and its history. That's all beside the point I was making anyway. You can smoke, that's your prerogative. But there's no point taking it personally and getting all offended when people say they don't like how it smells and tastes, and how it makes other people smell and taste. As we say about other issues all the time on here, people have the right to exercise their preferences and choices. You do it when you smoke, others do it when they say they don't want to play with smokers.
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madotara69
9 years ago
Well I guess I have a better quality of life, because I think Tara's pussy tastes like a rose. Just imagine these forums without some raw emotions now and then
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RHP User
9 years ago
we like to ink of ourselves as tolerant of most things - being on here means having an open mind right? But smoking crossing the line for us as kissing is a fun part of the passion of a moment, and Mrs CC especially doesn't like the taste.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Luck_Dragon' Talking about the smell / taste of smoking not being statistically proven is just a strawman, and a rather pointless one at that. We're talking about personal preferences here...not something objective that can be measured and quantified. Who needs stats to back up a personal choice? I've found that the smokers I've had sex with in my life (say 10 or so), had very bitter tasting sperm compared to the non-smokers. A personal observation, and it could have been coincidental (after all, I think all of them drank milk and ate meat too), so hardly scientific. Still, I've decided I don't want to sleep with men and women who smoke, which says nothing about how I see them as humans.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have friends with COPD and quit smoking for that reason. Hell, if you need to light one outside, come in and brush/gargle as needed. It's a hella addiction to quit!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Indeed it is! Not for the faint-hearted. ;-)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Just the smell being on their clothes or in their hair is enough to set off my asthma. I've been to a couple of meet and greets where I have ended up in hospital, because I've been exposed to smokers - I usually don't bother going now because of this reason. It's your health so your choice. I don't think many smokers understand the impact they have on others until they become non-smokers.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Koolgrey' ...has it been statistically proven using reliable methods that semen and vaginal fluids taste revolting and smell stinky from smokers as opposed to those who don't smoke? Opinions are one thing, and I respect them when it's made clear that's all they are at the end of the day...but ego bashing smokers as if they are the next pariahs of society is ugly and unnecessary. It's no coincidence that this unpleasant trend from some is more prevalent in a time when smoking is increasingly frowned upon. It's this ugly herd mentality that I'm alluding to and what disgusts me. You can taste it in semen and skin - some people don't mind it, while others do. We all have different things that revolt us and not others
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RHP User
9 years ago
Not a smoker myself but have smokers for friends. Ruling out smokers in general is like ruling out people with brown hair, it doesn't take into account WHO they are and the benefits of their company and value as a human being. Remember, as unpleasant as the after effects are, it's just a smoke, they're not even committing a crime. We all have our vices and addictions, they just manifest in different ways. Smokers deserve some respect too if we truly believe in a society where we can exercise freedom of choice. Mountain out of a molehill IMO. With the exception of the highly allergic, who are very rare. For those of you who are writing off an amazing experience or connection with someone because of a slight smell or taste, you could be making a mistake.
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RHP User
9 years ago
You make many great points in your post. We have friends who smoke and friends who don't. As our sexual friends though, we don't play with anyone who smokes. We have nothing against smokers, we just don't choose to spend our naked time with them. And as for missing out on something awesome, meh, we really don't mind. Warm hugs, MrsSAF xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Yes like every1 makes out its like a crime cause we smoke like jesus christ it had no health warnings when my parents started smoking an it stinks well who cares I enjoy smoking an all you haters go play with non smokers than an yes unreasonable - Posted from rhpmobile
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Dimeshreds
9 years ago
I hate smokers too and I rarely interact with them intimately, however, if it does not bother your wife she kind of has just reasoning to ask to fuck whom ever she pleases as you don't have to be that close to their breath when she is playing. She should however respect your want to minimise the contact with smokers and try to bring non smokers to your personal space. Being Europe it would be hard to find non smokers especially in non vanilla circles. Booze always helps to mask and forget the disgusting taste and smell. I enjoy kissing so if they are smokers I will kiss her lower lips instead and avoid face to face contact as much as possible.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'CravingTouch' Not a smoker myself but have smokers for friends. Ruling out smokers in general is like ruling out people with brown hair, it doesn't take into account WHO they are and the benefits of their company and value as a human being. Remember, as unpleasant as the after effects are, it's just a smoke, they're not even committing a crime. We all have our vices and addictions, they just manifest in different ways. Smokers deserve some respect too if we truly believe in a society where we can exercise freedom of choice. Mountain out of a molehill IMO. With the exception of the highly allergic, who are very rare. For those of you who are writing off an amazing experience or connection with someone because of a slight smell or taste, you could be making a mistake. Thank you CT. My feelings exactly. Mountain out of a molehill...and it's all about personal choice. I will not set such petty boundaries on who I meet. Pills taste like shit too...doesn't seem to stop people taking them.
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