RHP

RHP User

M41

So I Waxed M' Sack, and...

May 28 2012

Ladies (and enlightened gentlemen), your advice please...   First up, sorry to disappoint you; this isn't a horror story. Fortunately there was no wailing, no chunks of flesh torn off, no microwaves exploding. Being an avid DIYer, and honestly not knowing where to start finding a beautician (a waxist? Madame Tussaud?) who does the deed, I bought myself a jar of wax and gave it the ol' college try.   It worked! Mostly. I was like a newborn chick trying to fly for the first time, leaping from the nest with a bit of furious arm flailing - it got the job done and I didn't meet my doom, but you wouldn't exactly call it efficient or graceful. The trouble is, after "Round 1" I seem to have used about 20% of the wax, and 80% of the little cotton pads you remove it with. Now, unless I'm 75% better next time (which, let's just say, would be ambitious), in my enthusiasm I'm going to run out of wax strips long before I run out of wax.   Is this normal? Is it some grand conspiracy by Big Wax to short-change me? Or am I just really, really bad at it? Can I substitute other cloth I can get my hands on (old clothes, towels, maybe go sorting through my neighbour's trash for old pantyhose while wearing nothing but a trenchcoat and a baseball hat?) If you've got any friendly advice for me about what works best before I try the latter and Flat 4A has to take out an AVO against me, that would be much appreciated!

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    A good grade Muslin is quite good - get some pretty cheap from spotlight or lyncraft and cut it up in to strips.BTW not sure the size of your sack but, i'd say you've over used the strips ;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Want a hand?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    This is Hesione in flat 4a.I recently sighted a man in a trench coat outside the building,he seemed to be rummaging through the bin.I fear he may also be a flasher ,because the glimpse I had of him revealed that he was naked ...well almost...he still had his socks on,....but naked underneath the trench coat.His his neck was draped in some of my discared panty-hose, so I assume he is probably some sort of sexual deviant.I shudder to think to what purpose he will put my poor stockings. I have also contacted the body corporate secretary to alert him to this situation. Mr.Drift,my concern is,the man bore a striking resemblance to you. sincerely yours Hesione

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I would like to thank you for your correspondence dated 28/05/12. I was alarmed to hear of the disturbing situation outlined in your letter, and appreciate you sharing your disquietude with me. It vexes me greatly to learn that a man should concern himself with such acts of degenerate filth while bearing my likeness. I should hope that this descriptively striking and handsome villain, this veritable doppelgänger of mine, be located and brought to justice with the utmost expediency, so that we may cast these disturbing events from our minds. Let me take this opportunity to reassure you, dear neighbour, that I bear no such depraved nor perverted proclavities. You see, quite simply this sock-clad scoundrel you identified, this refuse reprobate, could not possibly have been me, as I do not wear socks. I myself also prefer the unencumbered elasticity of a good pair of panty-hose, and would have no need for your old discarded pair with the ladder above the back right ankle. I hope these words have allayed your concerns.   Sincerely, Mr Drift

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Hesione, (I'm not into that kinda thing), about your strander-danger techniques but i can't help but think given your actions and concerns re said alleged perpetrator - I can only presume that you accidentally included your address....either that or you feel so sorry for the poor man sighted having to go through garbage bins that you are willing to provide panty-hose from the comfort of your abode.....

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Quoting 'Handmaiden'Want a hand? You know, this probably would work better as a team sport!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    yes.....i can relate... someone to my own...... ended u giving in.......leave it to the professionals they know exactly what their doing even with a smile on their faces

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I just love your humour and wit Hesione, glad you decided to come back and play some more.Cheers Felonius

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    than me Neptune, it to take my hat of to you!!! personally the first time I would have gone to some beautician so have it done, sat the phone in the corner on record in case I close my eyes in pain, knowing my luck would have some grandad on shift that day too so wont be an all mates viewing session later, but may post it here on RHP, then charge per view. Then the second time watch the footage carefully listening to my screams, seeing my white knuckles clenching to the bed and decide Neanderthal is for me lol Na honest mate, have no idea what you can do but here is a choice of two 1. with the bushy bits left all over the shop, spread them out a little get some hair gel on there to hold in place maybe get rid of the evidence just in case RSPCA come knocking and await the arrival of handmaiden 2. don your dressing gown (trench coat not good to ware knocking on unfamiliar doors) and a gentle knock on 4a with a bunch of flowers a novelty bag of Kopi Luwak and I am sure Hesione would help out too, don’t worry if you have no strips left I am sure Hesione will find a way even if she just rips them out with her Kirby vacuum when I get a bit of time I will try on my back but the rest well being either shaved or bald every where else and time of year prefer to keep the winter coat for a while though after reading your attempt, bollocks you have, I think I'd pass there I do feel sorry for you running out of strips though I can near see you now going to work looking like one of those really fluffy cats just come out of the rain and dry in a few patches, bit like this http://files.myopera.com/Lovelymagician/albums/390883/fluffy%20cat.jpg sorry to be the barer of bad news and hope you pull through soon

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    You should be able to simply wash the cloth in hot water and reuse them, i do it all the time.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    practice makes perfect......dont expect a perfect finish the first time out...its a patience thing, every time you go there it will get better....and eventually the result will be what you are wanting.............

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I'm heartbroken :-( Hugs roxxy

  • Soulmates

    Soulmates

    13 years ago

    A very nice couple on here put us onto Magic Shaving Powder, it's a depilatory which works for some & not others. Search for it on Ebay, it's cheap & easy to use, but make sure you follow the instructions exactly or it won't work well & might burn those balls. 5 to 8 minutes is all it takes. There is a pic of the results in our public gallery.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Cotton strips? Just wash them in warm water, and then dry them ready for round 2. Easy :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Topic = Waxed mens bits First reply on the forum ... From TWO BALLONS Oh i thought that was rather funny

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Make That 2 Balloons

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Please explain how you know the exact detail of my hosiery?I suspect, that at the very least,you are in cahoots with the villain,at worst,and how it pains me to say this,.....you Mr.Drift are indeed the bin pilferer. Shortly there will be a knock on your door,please make yourself to the police constable waiting outside.,handcuffs maybe necessary to restrain you if you resist. Constable Hesione RHP Police

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Not the wax, either. There seems a few of us ready to lend a hand. Dibs on shaft.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    more Police

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Hadn't thought that - but now you mention it - me too!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Neptune,I like a man who's not afraid of a bit of DIY. I also like a man who isn't scared of a little pain. I like guys who do a little manscaping, keeping everything a bit tidy downstairs.Mostly, I like smart, funny guys. Hence, my proposal of marriage.It would of course be an open marriage, so you are free to peruse other women's garbage bins and have them help you wax your sack.In return, I would offer my undying love and also my delicious thai green chicken curry (also known as "Man Catcher Curry") and of course, sex on demand.Previous applicants need not apply.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Wait for the ingrown hairs, Mr Neptune.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I have mine done, along with my legs (for cycling). Can't imagine why you'd want to do it yourself. A young, attractive blonde lady at a beauticians in the Sydney CBD does mine and it's an absolutely perfectly smooth job. Long lasting too. Now I wouldn't say it was pain free, but nothing you can't handle (as it were). She says it's important to use a special pubic hair wax which is different from the normal leg wax and doesn't risk ripping the skin (ouch!) Try Googling "male brazilian + your city" and see what comes up.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Right. Well. I feel like a good and proper git. Wash the pads in warm water. Of course! Der! Naturally I've already thrown them out. I don't suppose anyone was rummaging through my garbage looking for discarded grooming items and happened to have saved them?   Rinsing them out I'd be mildly concerned about the wax congealing and clogging the pipes, but then I guess there are ways around it (like running hot/boiling water down after it).   As I said, while not spectacular the results were also not unsatisfactory. I did   Heedless Horseman - I don't know where to get Kopi Luwak anymore. There used to be a place I went to that sold it and it was reportedly, the most expensive cup of coffee in Australia (around $50)! While I was never interested enough to spend that much money on something that had passed through a monkey, apparantly they had to stop once unscrupulous suppliers realised it was much easier to earn a cool Cowan by collecting the crap from kept critters in cages. They were not treated in the most ethical manner, as you might imagine. No loss though, it all sounded like a crock of shit anyway!   Roxxy Rose - I left some above to grip on to! I was going for pornstar chic, not pre-pubescent!   Soulmates - the powder sounds interesting. You're certainly brave to use a product from eBay with the word 'magic' in the description anywhere near your crotch! However, I've tried a cream in the past - while it worked well for a few days, the regrowth was a nightmare and itched for a week! I'd imagine it's a bit like that? Shaving was 10x worse, of course. I nearly considered going castrati the time I actually shaved them with a razor.   Dear Ms Hesione - are you supplying these cuffs, or are they BYO?   Grey Eyes - Only if we can have an "Under the Sea" themed wedding!   Slipps - A week on and so far, so good! I thought waxing would be the better option, because there's less grow-back and not as coarse.   As for going to a beautician, sure, it's an option. If I had a back carpet I probably would, but it actually wasn't too bad, and at $10 for a jar of the stuff I thought it was pretty decent. Sure my brow furrowed quite a bit when I got home and read the line "do not use this on your genitals!", but I figured that was more a recommendation than a rule!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    I dont worry about hot wax, cloth and pantyhose, I just tear them out in chunks with my bare hands :D

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate ;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    we use small strips of a shredded old pillow case and rewash them, hot water is enough to melt the wax out. Another tip : we also use paddle pop stick coffee stirrers to spread the wax as they are cheap and easy to obtain.   If you're quick enough, you can also quickly reapply the waxed strip you just used to mop up a few stray hairs that were missed with the first application ;)     Mr Curious

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Nothing better than a bit of hair to grip on too.....happy dance!! Hugs roxxy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    It's Constable Hesione to you sir,and I have a one size fits all handcuff set in my pocket.Please present yourself at the door of 4a immediately for further questioning.I must warn you there will also be a strip search to determine whether or not you are concealing the pilfered hose on your person. This procedure may take a few hours as I am very thorough in the performance of my duties. sincerely Constable Hesione ps do you prefer your cuffs lined with fur or plain?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Do we take it as gospel that this strip search, also includes a cavity search??

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    As a police officer I should not breach confidentiality,but I am able to say,in answer to your question,most definitely.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    Is clear to me now where you went wrong on this one....i skimmed your post and it hit me....i didn't read all because i am conscious of your wranglings with the constabulary and unlike an episode of the Bill...things seem to be progressing rather quickly for you -and conscious that you may be in the lock up (or locked up in Cell 4a if I read between the lines correctly) and i'd hate for to see you make the same mistake next time ('coz no you've started you know you are going to have crack again when the hairs stat to emerge.So with out further dilly dally - here's the executive summary:1. Didn't post the question before you went ahead - common mistake esp for fellas.2. No silly - you need to remove the wax before you wash the strips. Simply soak them in a bucket of Hot water - mix in some washing up detergent for a better soak (just a few drops'll do). Martha gardner's wool wash would work really well too, if you have some. Remove the strips whilst water still hot and rinse out in hot / warm water Then wash in washing machine.Now i you had asked first I'm sure you would have saved yourself whole lot of angst ;)Must away - the rest of this thread is like watching an episode of an RHP version of COP SHOP....gripping....If constable hesione can solve this one - me thinks we should vote for her @ next years logies lol.2b :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    1. take vagabonde's advise - you can't exfoliate enough and if you have a good moisturiser - at least once a day in the early days. nothing scented though immediately after waxing2. Mrcurious - great tip

  • RHP

    RHP User

    13 years ago

    That was effective and tear free. Ofcourse if you were going for the tears,....