M49 F50
So how does it all work... Safe Sex, yet swapping and stuff??
November 10 2014
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
There is no one size fits all answer, this is something you need to discuss with your potential partner(s) before getting started and familiarising yourselves with the rules of any parties you're planning on attending. In my experience, condoms are a must for vaginal/anal sex and toy play (new condom used if you're switching partners during play), condoms/dental dams negotiated between parties for oral sex (not particularly common), thoroughly washing hands and/or showering between partners is also encouraged. While these seem like a barrier to relaxing to the uninitiated, if everyone is on the same page and prepared beforehand it'll just be routine after a little practice. Good luck and safe playing.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You will have to have a think about what you feel comfortable with as there is no such thing as 100 % safe sex. It is a calculated risk. I am not a huge player in the scene but I have been around for a while and these are some of things I have learned, hopefully you will find some of it useful. 1. If you are playing with other couples & singles it is useful to ask them how often they get tested and how they feel about safe sex. that way you can choose to play with people that are more careful about their sexual health. 2. If you do go ahead and join the swinging scene you should also get tested every 3-6 mths depending on what you feel is reasonable and how often you play. it's no big deal really, there are lots of STI's out there but luckily a lot of them are easier to get rid of than the common cold! Just a shot or does of antibiotics. 3. Not all STI's show symptoms. 4. Brushing your teeth can irritate your gums, so wait at least 30 minutes before having oral sex. 5. I have never seen dental dams being used during group sex, at sex parties, at gang bangs or at swingers clubs. Mind you that doesn't mean you can't use one if you want to. Maybe for rimming those butt holes perhaps? 6. I have seen women ask men to put on a condom on for oral sex but it is very rare and probably not the norm. Again if that is what you want then you do it. 7. Unprotected oral sex is a risk that you take, and I believe most swingers and everyday people who just date people one on one do take this risk.... that is why getting tested regularly is a good idea. 8. Condoms should be used for all penetrative sex. NEW CONDOM FOR EVERY NEW HOLE! 9. Don't forget sticky fingers, men touching themselves then touching women, and women going from woman to woman with sticky fingers and tongues. Again it is a risk... but getting into the habit of showering between partners or sessions is a good one. If nothing else it is common courtesy. 10. I have been at parties where they have those thin gloves, surgical gloves? which you can use for fingers and fisting. 11. For newbies I recommend going to a club just to watch and see how people interact and what they do. There is no problem with going to watch! 12. ONLY DO WHAT YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE DOING AT ALL TIMES! If someone is hassling you or trying to talk you into doing something you don't feel is right for you, they are the ones not doing the right thing. I have seen it at clubs where someone assumes people should be acting a certain way just because they are at a sex party, which is bollocks because people go these venues for all sorts of reasons. Just to socialise, or watch, or participate with women only, or couples only, etc, etc. Everyone has a different reason for being there and they are all valid.
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enange63
10 years ago
You decide what works for you and go with it. Weve always been safe during penetration but oral etc has been unprotected. Just be sure that you do only what you are comfortable with and have fun :)
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Tall74nHard9
10 years ago
Communication, communication and communication. That is the over-riding factor when you want to start to play. Send plenty of messages once you have established people you may be interested in, and find out EXACTLY how they intend to play. You will find all sorts here who will all have varying boundaries, and you must also be comfortable that YOUR boundaries will also be respected. If you are not sure about what is being expected, clarify until you do. Safe sex is common sense until you get to know the other parties well, and you should then find out in time how safe you need to be. Always remember the age old rule, if is seems to good to be true, it usually is, so always be on guard until you are sure of where you are standing. Otherwise, contact plenty of profiles and see how they react, and enjoy ! Tall
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RHP User
10 years ago
For higher risk penetrative activities (vaginal, anal, toys), condoms are a must. For low - medium risk activities (oral), we prefer to be condom free. We also have antiseptic wipes and alcohol hand rub on hand for any switches of activity. Showers and having a good look around is a definite.
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RHP User
10 years ago
It is good to see that attitudes towards safe sex have changed here in RHP over he past two years. Excellent post Meeka. If I may just add. Not all condoms are the same, at some meets and clubs the condoms supplied are often purchased in bulk and may not be the best quality and sometimes condoms may have been privately imported and thus do not necessarily meet Australian Standards. Always check the condom wrapper for an expiry date. Never use a condom that is past that date or missing an expiry date. Condoms degrade if left in hot/warm places (even the back pocket). My advice is that if you are using condoms, bring your own freshly purchased condoms. A condom does not have to visually break for it to have failed. Do not use condoms that are loss fitting or tight fitting and make sure they are rolled all the way down, please don't flush them down the toilet and wash your hands after handling a used condom.
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RHP User
10 years ago
What is the difference with cuming orally against penateitive when it comes to condoms Does it matter where the cum / pussy squirt enters the body ?? ... Told u I was ignorant 😳 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
The mouth and gut are very hostile environments for many of the viruses and bacteria that cause STI's (not all) due to the action of saliva, stomach acid, and oxygen in you breath. As pointed out in Meeka's post brushing your teeth can rupture the gums providing a pathway for infectious agents. These small cuts will quickly be sealed but it is always best to wait at least half an hour after brushing before engaging in oral sex. Also if you have any mouth ulcers, cracked of broken lips, or any other injury (like biting your tongue or cheek) you should avoid oral sex. I should point out that the nose and more so the eyes also provide direct access to the inside of the body. You would be surprised how often we touch our face, and if you suspect you may be at risk when with someone avoid getting any body fluids in your eyes. I must say it is so strange that we are so willing to have sex with a potencial infected person that we happily try to create a barrier between them and us that is far from 100% effective. Is it not easier to have sex with people you trust and have had recent testing.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Can I say though that I have never been asked more asked about diseases or testing 😳 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
We've been to a few swinger parties and clubs. Never seen a condom used for oral sex, but never seen unprotected penetrative sex. One thing I'm curious about - there must be times where guys get over-excited and cum during oral sex, what happens with accidental CIM?
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TallBaldSexy
10 years ago
I do prefer condoms for oral in group play, doesn't feel anywhere near as good but not my fav thing anyway.....And its safer...so personal choice....Changing from that mouth to another pussy - wipes and change of condom...is usually acceptable.....Changing penetrative partners definitely a quick but thorough shower and go again...or maybe just stay in the shower - yum!... Youll have a ball xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Accidental CIM? I am sure a bloke knows when he is going to come and a woman often senses it too, but if you don't want that you should tell a bloke straight so knows.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Swallow is best, the acids and enzymes in the gut will quickly destroy almost anything that gets in. If you don't swallow or If you have ulcers you want it out of your body, so spit, rinse, spit (the rinse bit being the important bit). The 3rd option if you get unwanted CIM is spit it back in his face. This could be considered as a little bit anti social, and edging on slightly crazy. If it happened to me I would be very tempted to do just that, though the ensuing fight may spoil the mood for all.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Never seen accidental CIM are parties myself, but I thought others may have? I'm thinking of that scene in Californication where Charlie lets loose prematurely while copping a bj in the toilets of a childrens play centre with the MILF.
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RHP User
10 years ago
We're generally careful with who we play with and get tested every 6 months. We do unprotected oral but protected penetration..it's up to you to put measures in place to keep as safe as you're comfortable with (the risk of catching something is always present when you're having sex, no matter how low)...it is unlikely that if someone had something, that they would tell you, even if they were aware).
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RHP User
10 years ago
All of the couple we have played with come across as being honest and safe. Guess couple are probably a better bet than single men! Out of curiosity, if two couple had been playing and had known each other for a while would they switch to un protected sex?
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JohnAnn2227
10 years ago
We use condoms for vaginal, anal and toys and make sure a new condom is fitted between each new experience. We don't use anything for oral but I only swallow with close friends otherwise it is usually over my boobs. We regularly play with a small group of friends and we have all decided that we will not use condoms in this situation. All of the guys have had the "snip" and the girls are on the pill. We all get tested every 3 months and do not have unprotected sex outside of our group. This was not a decision that we all came to over night and we had in fact been playing together for up to 7 years in some cases. This works well for us all and lets us enjoy groupsex more freely. We would never have unprotected sex though with someone we meet at couples club etc.
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RHP User
10 years ago
That's something I've wondered about, whether unprotected sex with swing partners happens one everyone knows each other a bit better. Group sex without condoms must get a bit messy. How do the guys go moving from one pussy to the next?
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RHP User
10 years ago
If you like the Grim Reaper adds, go bareback. If you don't, then common sense kicks in and as we say... No glove-No love!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Luvnya69' If you like the Grim Reaper adds, go bareback. If you don't, then common sense kicks in and as we say... No glove-No love! common sense would actually say condoms and dental dams for /everything/ (or no sex with strangers at all ). The vast majority of STIs are spread from oral or physical contact Quoting 'FunkyKink' That's something I've wondered about, whether unprotected sex with swing partners happens one everyone knows each other a bit better. Group sex without condoms must get a bit messy. How do the guys go moving from one pussy to the next? the couples that we see at parties who do this only do it with their circle...but have never witnessed anyone cumming inside etc, so it doesn't seem too messy
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RHP User
10 years ago
Our experience has been that the people we've played with have been pretty conciousness and responsible about sexual health, which gives us reassurance. Seems most people don't, but a few people here have unprotected sex with others they are comfortable with. It would be a lot safer to have bare back sex with a mature swinging couple, rather than some random single male who is at a gang bang because he's too cheap to pay for a brothel.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Wow! Prudish judgements there Funky. 👎👎 although considering the amount of mature married guys who go to gang bangs and gay clubs without telling their wives.... Good luck with that strategy.
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RHP User
10 years ago
The women that are brig gang banged are often nature married women. I all the women I have seen "banged" where always 40s +. But I am no expert. Maybe you should ask this question. Who goes to gang bangs, who do they go and who are the people being banged. :p
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RHP User
10 years ago
I still think swinging couples are a much safer bet than single males. A while ago there was a post here about an unattached guy who removed the condom halfway thru sex at a party. My theory is that having a woman involved (in a couple) provides peer pressure that leads to better behaviour in guys.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'FunkyKink' I still think swinging couples are a much safer bet than single males. A while ago there was a post here about an unattached guy who removed the condom halfway thru sex at a party. My theory is that having a woman involved (in a couple) provides peer pressure that leads to better behaviour in guys. No one is safer than anyone else!!!!!!!!!! Get real.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Trudy71' Quoting 'FunkyKink' I still think swinging couples are a much safer bet than single males. A while ago there was a post here about an unattached guy who removed the condom halfway thru sex at a party. My theory is that having a woman involved (in a couple) provides peer pressure that leads to better behaviour in guys. No one is safer than anyone else!!!!!!!!!! Get real. Knew a swinging couple once who were in their 60's but he was having an affair with someone, unprotected and she was having affairs and none of their partners knew, so no one is safe.
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JohnAnn2227
10 years ago
We would never have unprotected sex with a single guy. Even if I was having a fling for a few weeks with a friend I made him wear a condom.
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JohnAnn2227
10 years ago
As far as the messy comments what is wrong with a bit of mess. John loves shagging me when I am messy from someone who has just cum. Also creampies!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Wow! Prudish judgements there Funky. 👎👎 although considering the amount of mature married guys who go to gang bangs and gay clubs without telling their wives.... Good luck with that strategy. yup! same sentiments here
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RHP User
10 years ago
Except I wouldn't recommend going to clubs. Especially for first event. Private parties once you are comfortable and if being selective maybe. But most interactions we have had with clubs have almost turned us off the whole scene. Would certainly recommend finding a couple you get along well with, meet out and make sure you all get on well. Then take the next step.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'FunkyKink' I still think swinging couples are a much safer bet than single males. A while ago there was a post here about an unattached guy who removed the condom halfway thru sex at a party. My theory is that having a woman involved (in a couple) provides peer pressure that leads to better behaviour in guys. is a naive attitude at best. Sure guys in couples might play it safe when their partner is around, but you can never be sure what other things he might be getting up to without his partner's knowledge (and same goes for women in couples as well). And that happens a lot more than you probably think. You can't make assumptions that any one group is 'safer' than another (just as you also can't assume that all single men are only there because they're too cheap to pay for a brothel. Don't be one of those smug couples....they are sooo annoying).
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RHP User
10 years ago
Wow. Information overdrive and so many different opinions. One thing resounds though, people cheat, people will lie, no-ones absolutely safe... WANTED: Young sexy couple, she must be a micro-biologist (germ freak) and he must be a specialist sexual health Doctor. Neither must have ever played/swung nor cheated ever, ever, must be married to their first love and have children. There. That couple might be safe? Thanks everyone for your tips. Now, to take down our RHP profile... lol kidding.
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